In the last chapter of the season, there was still another discovery to be examined. The surprise realization a new affirmation brings, uncovers an even deeper layer of healing and understanding. While reading a new book, a chapter unlocks the mystery behind sex energy and leads me to some personal understanding about my own. 

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References!

• Paul Selig
• Think and Grow Rich - Napolean Hill 

In part one of the last chapter in season one, I explore the journey of stepping further into realization and how things that weren't serving my new purpose began to fall away. I discuss my discovery of the states of consciousness that my meditation practice has revealed and the technique I used to help me reach those states . How I stepped further into an understanding of how to access that energy and power that lies within us all and how it began to show itself in my life. 

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• https://www.patreon.com/sebastianlacause
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• https://www.instagram.com/chasinghappy_thepodcast/
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References

• Air Conditioner Meditation Technique

In part two of Bread Crumbs, I continue the discovery of becoming the witness of life unfolding, instead of the victim. I was coming in to the realization that the universe wasn’t setting me up to fail but was in fact leading me to where I wanted to go and that the only resistance getting in the way was coming from me.

I was and still am deepening my trust in life, so that I can be more of a deliberate creator and less reactionary and less living in memorized emotion and unconscious behavior.

I discuss how I discovered my purpose through this process, facing my shadow self and dismantling old beliefs and how I’m continuing to reach beyond what I know.

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• Patreon
• https://www.patreon.com/sebastianlacause - WATCH my short film DISCIPLE here! 
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• https://www.instagram.com/chasinghappy_thepodcast/
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References!

• AHF
• QueerX Fest
• DISCIPLE Kickstarter - watch the video when I come out publicly about my status for the first time
• DISCIPLE Facebook - follow the film, WATCH the trailer
• Paul Selig

Reading List

• The Power of Now | Eckhart Tolle
• A New Earth |  Eckhart Tolle
• Ask And It Is Given | Abraham Hicks
• The Four Agreements | Don Miguel Ruiz
• Realization | Paul Selig
• Alchemy | Paul Selig
• Siddartha | Hermann Hesse
• Think And Grow Rich | Napolean Hill | currently 
• Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself (Audio) |  Dr. Joe Dispenza
• Evolve Your Brain  (Audio) | Dr. Joe Dispenza | currently 
• Four Sacred Secrets (Audio) | Preethaji | currently 

With my self-exploration kicking into high gear, I found myself struggling to find a balance between this new discovery of my inner world and my practiced behaviors and memorized emotions. The affirmations and visualizations I was doing were elevating my mood, momentarily but I couldn't sustain the momentum or figure out how to apply it to my life and make real changes. That is until I stumbled on to some videos that helped crack it all open and gave me some practices that I could implement and some philosophies that I could contemplate and realize. 

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• https://www.patreon.com/sebastianlacause
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• https://www.instagram.com/chasinghappy_thepodcast/
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References!

• The Honest Guys
• The Wishing Well of Abundance
• Oprah Winfrey Interviews Abraham Hicks
• Abraham Hicks
• Everything Is Working Out For Me
• You Were Source Energy

In this chapter I examine justification by looking at my state of consciousness during a relationship and after relocating back to Los Angeles from New York. I left New York feeling focused and energized but I got caught up in a life that wasn't mine. Loosing mys sense of self in my relationship and my need for external validation and acceptance, justifying my choices and my circumstances to create the life I thought I should have, in order to reach my goals and succeed. 

But all the pain, I never addressed would crescendo and lead me to a small doorway for change. 

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• https://www.patreon.com/sebastianlacause
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• https://www.instagram.com/chasinghappy_thepodcast/
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References 

• Jay Shetty,  4 Strategies To Identify Your Values, & How They Guide Your Daily Decisions
• Paul Selig,  Alchemy 
• The Honest Guys, 5 Minute Morning Uplift

Why can it be so difficult for us to be on our own? To walk through the world without a partner. We grow up believing that we are incomplete without a special someone in our lives, to love us and give our lives meaning. We will sacrifice our own growth in order to not feel alone, to not be alone. We tumble into entanglements for safety. At least, that's what I did. I had grown accustom to having that person in my life who made me feel that everything would be okay. What was I without that? I wasn't quite ready to find that out. 

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The anger and resentment I experienced due to a career I couldn't get off the ground, inspired a creative manifestation that brought with it some of the things I had been seeking all my life, recognition and praise. However I still hadn't addressed my state of consciousness in any real way so there was only exterior gratification. There was no real meaning because I was still trying to prove something to the world and to myself. Chasing an idea of what I thought success was and consumed in self-obsession. I was creating through a suffering state and that comes with a cost. 

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• Patreon
• https://www.patreon.com/sebastianlacause
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• https://www.instagram.com/chasinghappy_thepodcast/
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• Hustling Series
• https://www.youtube.com/c/SebastianLaCause
• Preetha Ji
• The Four Sacred Secrets

Looking back at my life it's easy to see the value of failure. It's so easy to see how life was unfolding purposely for me to learn and to be guided toward what I was wanting. When I was in the trenches of my thirties I was filled with so much panic, urgency and scarcity. Loosing myself in the ideas of what success looked like and felt like. Working against myself in so many ways because I didn't realize the power of my own thoughts and emotions. Pushing against what I didn't want instead of moving toward or aligning to the things that I did want. It was that energetic alignment that I was missing. 

But when I found myself in the place I had feared the most, a portal of inspiration opened and I was getting tired of fighting, so I was able to hear some inspiration that would finally initiate some change and set me on a new trajectory. 

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• https://www.patreon.com/sebastianlacause
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• https://www.instagram.com/chasinghappy_thepodcast/
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There's no easy way to dive into the story about your love battling cancer. As you can imagine my inner world continued its descent. I tried to balance my relationship, the cancer, my new job as a bartender and my non-existent acting career with some sort of grace. Succeeding at times. But I felt like I was in the dark, searching for myself and for meaning, while my insides were being ripped to shreds by my guilt. 

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• https://www.patreon.com/sebastianlacause
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• https://www.instagram.com/chasinghappy_thepodcast/
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Examining my shadow has been the most rewarding work I've ever done. Bringing all the dark aspects of myself into the light requires a lot of trust. It requires me to be non-judgemental of myself. I can't heal what I'm judging. There's tremendous freedom in that. Freedom to share my story without apology and freedom from the fear of telling it. In this chapter, my paranoia surrounding my HIV hits new heights. Still reaching for the white ideal I go under the knife. 9/11 brings a career highlight to an early end and after a slew of auditions and rejection I learn to pivot. An unexpected opportunity brings harsh realities.  

Support here!

• Patreon
• https://www.patreon.com/sebastianlacause
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• https://www.instagram.com/chasinghappy_thepodcast/
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