’m back with another Second Opinion. I’m doing another one of the Sexual Healing columns from the Guardian. Mostly because it’s so short but also it’s not pay-walled. I’m not going to reproduce the whole thing here, so you might want to click on the link to read the whole thing (it’s 340 words in total, for the question and answer)

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2025/jul/08/my-boyfriend-is-almost-perfect-but-hes-too-vanilla-in-bed

But the tl;dr is that the question is from a woman feeling bad that she’s dissatisfied that the sex she’s having with her lovely boyfriend is mundane. In the past she’s had sexy, experimental sex with men who weren’t as nice. The answer is that it’s understandable that she’s found herself in this relationship but is ‘endowing her boyfriend with fatherly attributes’ which makes it much less hot. So she should work on her unconscious to make the relationship work and try to use the relationship to find ways of attaching like an adult.

For the full version of this head to https://www.patreon.com/culturesexrelationships Where you can also find the Make Your Own Sex Manual and Make Your Own Relationships User Guide resources I mentioned in the reading https://www.patreon.com/culturesexrelationships/shop