In this one, they talk about the gays. And the feminists. And the wokes. And the progressive theologians. And the conservatives. And the fundamentalists. And the atheists. And the agnostics. And the heretics. And the saints. And the sinners. And the popes. And the bishops. And the nuns. And the monks. And the exorcists. And the demonologists. And the angel whisperers. And the holy rollers. And the snake handlers. And the faith healers. And the prosperity preachers. And the end-times prophets. And the rapture enthusiasts. And the flat-earthers in cassocks. And the time-traveling apostles. And the alien abductees quoting scripture. And the vampire slayers with crucifixes. And the zombie apocalypse survivalists building arks. And the werewolf theologians debating lycanthropy in Genesis. And the Bigfoot believers claiming he's the missing link to Eden. And the mermaid missionaries converting Atlantis.

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You ever see those new Bob the Builder episodes. Not sure if they're like, new new. But they turned our boy into a CG abomination. What happened to our lovingly, cheaply made Claymation. My son didn't care at all, but that's because he's a baby. And babies are awful critics! That's why I have to get involved now. I don't know if this is woke stuff, but I don't like it! It's weird and new. And nothing new is ever good!

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Kirk Cameron is our last hope. Say it with me. Kirk Cameron is our last hope in our fight against Nicolae Carpathia. If we don't move quick, then that ambiguously accented European is gonna take away our guns and cigarettes. Dagnamit, that's not why my great-great-granddaddy died fighting those raskily Balkans. You can take my cigarettes from my cold, dead, red-white-&-blue fingers. Now hush up there, my Full House rerun is starting in a minute and I gotta find out what Kimmy Gibbler has been up to. That girl cracks me up I tell'ya. She gonna be like the next Rodney Dangerfield, mark my words. Johnny Carson gonna be having her on the show any day now, just you wait.

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So this was supposed to be uploaded last week, but Josh had to run out and grab some milk before we could upload it. Don't ask me why we had to wait, but he insisted. He threatened my body with physical violence, saying that if I didn't wait for him to personally approve of a episode description, then he would "grab me by my toes and whip me around his head like Willow Smith did with that pony tail in 2013". He's been gone for nearly 12 days now and we're still looking for him. We're trying to lure him out by strategically placing his favourite snack (watermelon jolly ranchers!) around the town. We've had no luck yet so we're probably gonna have to resort to extreme measures....

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Guys, settle a debate for me. If Ben Shapiro and Tucker Carlson were in a fight, and Trump was doing that emperor thing from gladiator where he gives the thumbs-up and thumbs-down thing, and Cenk Uyger was the lion in the pit trying to eat them, and Bernie Sanders was the cheerleader dancing on the side, and Tom Cruise was jumping out of a plane into the colosseum, and Mark Zuckerberg was teleporting in with his Meta goggles and a gun, and Ghengis Khan was filling the crowd stands with his millions of wives, and Trent Horn was there in a pope hat and another gun, do you think the boys would notice that I've hijacked their description again?

This is a cry for attention. I've been stuck here for 3 years. I need to get out of here!

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Ecumenism.... eh-qiu-men-ism.... this is a word that brings us here together this day. It is important, and... ah.... well we all understand it's significance. How it affects Christianity because of.... uh... Jesus. Cause, you know, he died and rose again. That's not ecumenism. That's the resurrection. Which is also important. But this ecumenism is different, but also related, I think. Cause it's about Jesus, probably. I think all of these episodes are about Jesus, right? Have I hit my word count requirement yet? No? How many more characters do I ne

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Wee-woo, wee-woo, wee-woo. Looks like my 'nerd alert' is going off. That can only mean one thing. The boys spend an 1 hour and 34 minutes talking about stats they pulled form Pew Research. Sounds like NERD STUFF TO ME!

Now get outa my way, I got a sports-ball game to watch and a beer can to smash.

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Links:

8 facts about atheists

Religion is losing influence in public life, 8 in 10 Americans say | Pew Research Center

‘New Age’ beliefs common among both religious and nonreligious Americans

Decline of Christianity in the U.S. Has Slowed, May Have Leveled Off

How the Global Religious Landscape Changed From 2010 to 2020

Mary did you know, that tons of dudes would argue 'bout your 'sumption.

Mary did you know, that you're always blue. Your clothes, I mean, not your face.

If you could tell me why, that'd be very helpful cause I can't get an answer.

Seriously, I don't know. Also you do that hand thing and I'm not quite sure what's going on there and at this point, I feel like if I ask then I'll be called a fraud. Guys, I just write the summaries. Please, stop hurling things at me. I don't know what I'm doing!?!

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Oh, I didn't see you there. You really should let a fella know when you pop up like that. Well, all's well that ends well. At least I didn't myth you- er... I mean miss you. Golly-gee, that was embarrassing. You wouldn't go around telling folks about this blunder of mine now would you? Ha, yeah, we have good laughs together, don't we. These will be the times we remember in our later years, huh? But I've gotta circle back to.... well.... you know.... I really need to know that you're not going to be telling anyone about what I just did back there. Hey, I need an answer. I need you to tell me with your own mouth that you're going to take this to your grave. I can't have any loose ends here. Do you know the kind of stress that I'll be under, never knowing for certain if this is just going to spill out there into the real world sometime? I don't do well under pressure, man. I need a straight answer. I need to know that we're cool! We're cool, right? Dude? Answer me!

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I'm just noticing things, man! I'm telling you, I'm like 99% sure that the Jews were involved in the fall of Jerusalem. I AIN'T SAYING THEY DID IT. But like, it sure is pretty convenient that they just so happened to be there. Just like how it was pretty convenient that the queen of Ahasuerus just so happened to become Jewish the same time they started making explicitly pro-jew laws, allowing them to defend themselves from genocide and whatever. I'm not saying they're behind it all, but you want me to believe that they had no involvement in, like, every major event in my very limited understanding of history. Fat chance dude.

Also World War II was Churchill's fault, right? That makes sense....

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