Secret Habit: Porn Recovery for Christian Men

Why Is It So Hard to Spend Time With God When I'm Struggling With Porn?

You know prayer matters. You know Scripture matters. You know spending time with Jesus is good for you. You may genuinely want a deeper relationship with God, yet still find yourself avoiding Him, putting it off, or filling your time with everything else.

In this episode of the Secret Habit Podcast, Shawn Bonneteau explores a deeper question: what if the reason you avoid God isn't simply laziness or a lack of discipline?

Shawn introduces the idea of a core belief and the motivational lie attached to it. A core belief might sound like, “I'm a failure” or “I'm not enough.” The motivational lie then tells you what you need to do to avoid feeling that way - work harder, achieve more, prove yourself, stay busy, or become successful.

Shawn uses his own story to show how this can affect a man's relationship with God. Even when someone appears successful on the outside, the motivation underneath can still be driven by fear and the need to prove something.

In porn recovery, this matters because you can end up approaching God from a place of “I should” rather than relationship. The goal isn't simply to add another spiritual habit to your schedule. It's to understand what your heart believes it needs and begin bringing those deeper longings into your relationship with Jesus.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why you avoid spending time with God even when you know you should
• What core beliefs are and how they shape your behavior
• What a core motivational lie is
• How performance and fear can affect your relationship with God
• Why knowing what you should do doesn't always lead to action
• How this connects to pornography recovery
• How to move from striving and performance toward greater trust in Jesus

Take the next steps with your recovery:

*Take the free Heart Hunger Clarity Quiz
⁠https://secrethabit.ca/quiz/⁠

*Download the Freedom Foundations Recovery Guide
Work through Shawn’s 14-episode teaching series covering pornography recovery, the inner world, emotional maturity, faith, and lasting freedom.
⁠https://drive.google.com/file/d/1tilH7mi7A2WV9vW6kvSMW0Api8P_QWbs/view?usp=drive_link⁠

*Get in touch about coaching
Have another idea for how you'd like to get started with coaching? Reach out directly.
⁠https://secrethabit.ca/contact/⁠

Disclaimer:

The Secret Habit Podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. Shawn Bonneteau provides coaching, not psychotherapy, counseling, medical care, or psychological diagnosis or treatment. This podcast is not a substitute for professional mental health or medical care. Please seek support from an appropriately qualified professional for clinical or medical concerns.

Secret Habit Podcast | Spending Time With God | Porn Recovery | Christian Men | Christian Discipleship | Porn Addiction Recovery | Prayer and Porn Addiction | Relationship With God | Heart Hunger | Christian Porn Recovery | Quit Porn

Why Do I Crave Porn Even Though I Don't Want To Watch It?

In this episode of the Secret Habit Podcast, Shawn Bonneteau explores the role dopamine and anticipation can play in pornography addiction, and why the craving for porn can become powerful long before you ever watch it.

You may tell yourself that you want porn because it feels good, but Shawn challenges you to look deeper. What are you actually expecting pornography to give you? Comfort? Control? Escape? Reassurance? A sense of being wanted? Porn can become a familiar place to run when your heart is hungry, even though what it promises rarely matches what you experience afterward.

Shawn also explains why the anticipation of porn can become such a powerful part of the cycle. The build-up can be intense, but once the moment passes, many men are left with disappointment, shame, regret, and the realization that porn didn't give them what they were hoping for.

This is why Shawn keeps coming back to the idea of Heart Hunger. Understanding what your heart is actually looking for can give you a very different place to start in porn recovery than simply trying to resist another urge.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why dopamine and anticipation can make porn cravings feel so powerful
• Why porn can feel like certainty, comfort, or control
• What you may actually be looking for beneath a porn craving
• Why pornography often overpromises and underdelivers
• How shame and regret become part of the cycle
• Why understanding your Heart Hunger can change your recovery strategy
• How to begin replacing unhealthy coping with healthier ways of caring for your heart
• 
  

Take the next steps with your recovery:

*Take the free Heart Hunger Clarity Quiz

https://secrethabit.ca/quiz/

*Download the Freedom Foundations Recovery Guide

Work through Shawn’s 14-episode teaching series covering pornography recovery, the inner world, emotional maturity, faith, and lasting freedom.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1tilH7mi7A2WV9vW6kvSMW0Api8P_QWbs/view?usp=drive_link

*Get in touch about coaching

Have another idea for how you'd like to get started with coaching? Reach out directly and let Shawn know what you're looking for.

https://secrethabit.ca/contact/

Disclaimer:

The Secret Habit Podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. Shawn Bonneteau provides coaching, not psychotherapy, counseling, medical care, or psychological diagnosis or treatment. This podcast is not a substitute for professional mental health or medical care. Please seek support from an appropriately qualified professional for clinical or medical concerns.

Secret Habit Podcast | Porn Cravings | Dopamine and Porn | Porn Addiction Recovery | Why Do I Crave Porn | Quit Porn | Christian Porn Recovery | Heart Hunger | Porn Triggers | Christian Men

Why does my porn addiction keep escalating?

Maybe you started with something you thought was relatively harmless, but over time you found yourself looking for more, acting out in ways you never expected, or crossing boundaries you once believed you never would.

In this episode of the Secret Habit Podcast, Shawn Bonneteau sits down with Greg Oliver of Awaken Ministries for an honest conversation about pornography addiction, escalation, childhood experiences, marriage, erectile dysfunction, and the deeper work of recovery.

Greg shares from his own story and explains how early experiences can shape the beliefs, emotions, and patterns that later influence addictive behavior. He also challenges the idea that you need to have experienced one dramatic event for your story to matter. Many people carry developmental experiences that shaped how they learned to handle emotions, safety, connection, and stress.

The conversation also gets practical about what helped Greg move forward: recovery community, therapy, learning, healing, and taking the struggle seriously before it escalates further. Greg's own story is a reminder that asking for help earlier can matter.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why porn addiction can escalate over time
• Why some men keep crossing boundaries they never expected to cross
• How childhood experiences can shape adult coping patterns
• Why you don't need a dramatic story for your past to have affected you
• The connection between pornography, anxiety, sexual performance, and shame
• Why recovery requires more than simply trying to stop
• How community and qualified support can change the recovery process

Take the next steps with your recovery:

*Take the free Heart Hunger Clarity Quiz

https://secrethabit.ca/quiz/

*Download the Freedom Foundations Recovery Guide

Work through Shawn’s 14-episode teaching series covering pornography recovery, the inner world, emotional maturity, faith, and lasting freedom.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1tilH7mi7A2WV9vW6kvSMW0Api8P_QWbs/view?usp=drive_link

*Get in touch about coaching

Have another idea for how you'd like to get started with coaching? Reach out directly and let Shawn know what you're looking for.

https://secrethabit.ca/contact/

Disclaimer:

The Secret Habit Podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. Shawn Bonneteau provides coaching, not psychotherapy, counseling, medical care, or psychological diagnosis or treatment. This podcast is not a substitute for professional mental health or medical care. Please seek support from an appropriately qualified professional for clinical or medical concerns.

Secret Habit Podcast | Porn Addiction Escalation | Porn Addiction Recovery | Childhood Trauma and Porn | Christian Porn Recovery | Sexual Integrity | Porn and Erectile Dysfunction | Christian Men | Recovery Support

Why do I turn to porn when I'm angry?

Anger is often treated like something we simply need to get rid of, but what if anger is actually telling you something important about what is happening beneath the surface?

In this episode of the Secret Habit Podcast, Shawn Bonneteau explores the relationship between anger and pornography recovery. Drawing from Jay Stringer's work in Unwanted, Shawn looks at why anger itself is not necessarily sinful and how it can become a source of valuable information when you're triggered.

The question isn't only, “Why am I angry?”

It's also:

What do I need?

What am I trying to control?

What feels threatened?

What am I expecting?

And what is my anger revealing about my heart?

Shawn explores how anger can become constructive or destructive and how needs like control, entitlement, significance, and justice can shape the way we respond.

This episode is especially useful if you notice that anger, frustration, conflict, or feeling powerless often precedes pornography temptation.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why anger itself is not necessarily a sin
• How anger can become sinful
• What anger can reveal about your deeper needs
• How control and entitlement can fuel anger
• Why anger can become connected to pornography temptation
• How anger can be used constructively
• Questions to ask yourself when you're triggered

Take the next steps with your recovery:

*Take the free Heart Hunger Clarity Quiz

https://secrethabit.ca/quiz/

*Download the Freedom Foundations Recovery Guide

Work through Shawn’s 14-episode teaching series covering pornography recovery, the inner world, emotional maturity, faith, and lasting freedom.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1tilH7mi7A2WV9vW6kvSMW0Api8P_QWbs/view?usp=drive_link

*Get in touch about coaching

Have another idea for how you'd like to get started with coaching? Reach out directly.

https://secrethabit.ca/contact/

Disclaimer:

The Secret Habit Podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. Shawn Bonneteau provides coaching, not psychotherapy, counseling, medical care, or psychological diagnosis or treatment. This podcast is not a substitute for professional mental health or medical care. Please seek support from an appropriately qualified professional for clinical or medical concerns.

Secret Habit Podcast | Anger and Porn Addiction | Why Do I Turn to Porn | Porn Triggers | Porn Relapse | Christian Men | Porn Addiction Recovery | Emotional Triggers | Christian Porn Recovery | Heart Hunger

How do I know if God is actually speaking to me?

That can be a difficult question, especially when you're trying to make decisions, walking through relational turmoil, dealing with strong emotions, or simply wondering why God seems silent.

In this episode of the Secret Habit Podcast, Shawn Bonneteau and Helena share what they have been learning about hearing from God, learning to recognize His voice, and developing a deeper relationship with Him.

This conversation gets especially personal as Shawn shares about seasons where he felt like God wasn't speaking and how that exposed deeper beliefs, emotions, and expectations in his relationship with the Lord.

Rather than treating hearing from God as a mysterious experience reserved for a select few, this episode explores what it can look like to keep seeking, keep knocking, become more honest with God, and learn through relationship and discipleship.

We also talk about the difference between your relationship with God and your fellowship with God, why your view of God can be shaped by your experiences with authority figures, and why other people can play an important role in helping us understand what God may be doing in our lives.

In this episode, we explore:

• How do I know if God is speaking to me?
• What can I do when God feels silent?
• How emotions and past experiences can affect the way we hear God
• The difference between relationship with God and fellowship with God
• Why learning God's voice is a process
• How Scripture, prayer, and discipleship fit together
• Why we don't have to walk our spiritual journey alone
• How God can use difficult seasons to reveal things in our hearts

If you've been asking, “God, are you speaking to me?” this episode is an invitation to keep seeking Him rather than assuming He's absent.

Take the next steps with your recovery:

*Take the free Heart Hunger Clarity Quiz

Start exploring what your heart may be hungry for beneath your pornography struggle and the emotions, thoughts, and challenges you experience each day.

https://secrethabit.ca/quiz/

*Download the Freedom Foundations Recovery Guide

Work through Shawn's 14-episode teaching series covering the inner world, pornography recovery, emotional maturity, faith, and lasting freedom.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1tilH7mi7A2WV9vW6kvSMW0Api8P_QWbs/view?usp=drive_link

*Get in touch about coaching

Have another idea for how you'd like to get started with coaching? Reach out directly.

https://secrethabit.ca/contact/

Disclaimer:

The Secret Habit Podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. Shawn Bonneteau provides coaching, not psychotherapy, counseling, medical care, or psychological diagnosis or treatment. This podcast is not a substitute for professional mental health or medical care. Please seek support from an appropriately qualified professional for clinical or medical concerns.

Secret Habit Podcast | Hearing From God | How to Hear God | Christian Men | Christian Discipleship | Porn Addiction Recovery | Christian Porn Recovery | Relationship With God | God's Voice | Prayer and Faith

Can pornography contribute to brain fog, anxiety, low focus, and feeling mentally drained?

In this episode of the Secret Habit Podcast, Shawn Bonneteau sits down with Dr. Trish Leigh, a neuroscience expert who studies the brain, pornography consumption, dopamine, anxiety, and compulsive behavior.

Dr. Trish brings a practical neuroscience perspective to a question many men are asking: “Why don't I feel like myself anymore?” She explains how pornography and other high-stimulation digital habits can affect the brain's reward systems, stress response, motivation, focus, and ability to settle into a calm state.

One of the most interesting ideas in the conversation is Dr. Trish's description of the “silent tsunami” of porn addiction. She explains how patterns can begin beneath the surface and eventually show up as cravings, poor focus, anxiety, stress, and other difficulties that may seem unrelated to pornography.

She also explains why self-awareness is so important. Instead of only asking, “Why did I relapse?”, we can start looking at what was happening beforehand. Stress, relationship conflict, poor sleep, and other experiences may be part of the pattern that eventually leads to pornography use.

The conversation also explores dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin and why your brain needs more than constant stimulation. Dr. Trish explains the difference between chasing dopamine and developing a healthier balance that supports calm, focus, satisfaction, connection, and motivation.

Shawn also shares part of his own story, including his experience of continuing to struggle with erectile dysfunction even after quitting pornography, and how learning more about what was happening beneath the surface changed the way he understood recovery.

In this episode, we explore:

• How pornography can affect focus, motivation, and mental clarity
• Why dopamine can become part of a compulsive pornography cycle
• What stress has to do with pornography cravings and relapse
• Why self-awareness matters in porn recovery
• The difference between dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin
• Why calm and focused states matter for a healthy brain
• How pornography can affect sexual functioning and erectile dysfunction
• Why understanding your brain can give you better information for recovery
• How neuroscience and a deeper understanding of your inner world can work together

If you've been wondering why you feel foggy, anxious, unfocused, or constantly pulled toward pornography, this conversation will give you a different way to look at what may be happening beneath the surface.

Take the next steps with your recovery

Take the free Heart Hunger Clarity Quiz

Start exploring what your heart may be hungry for beneath your pornography struggle: https://secrethabit.ca/quiz/

Book a Personal Recovery Plan Session

For the guy who knows he needs help but isnt sure what his next step should be: https://secrethabit.ca/personalrecoveryplan/

Freedom Foundations Recovery Guide

Work through Shawn's 14-episode teaching series

Have another idea? Reach out directly and let us know what you're looking for: https://secrethabit.ca/contact/

Disclaimer:

The Secret Habit Podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. Shawn Bonneteau provides coaching, not psychotherapy, counseling, medical care, or psychological diagnosis or treatment. This podcast is not a substitute for professional mental health or medical care. Please seek support from an appropriately qualified professional for clinical or medical concerns.

Secret Habit Podcast | Does Porn Cause Brain Fog | Porn and Anxiety | Porn Addiction Recovery | Porn and the Brain | Porn and Dopamine | Brain Fog After Porn | Anxiety and Porn | Quit Porn | Porn Withdrawal | Christian Porn Recovery | Christian Men | Porn Recovery Strategy

Why do I feel grief after quitting porn?

Many men expect quitting pornography to feel like immediate freedom. Instead, they may find themselves feeling sad, lonely, restless, or even grieving something they know they needed to leave behind.

That's because quitting porn isn't always just about stopping a behavior. Sometimes you're also letting go of a coping mechanism, a source of comfort, or something that has been part of your life for years. Understanding that grief can help you make sense of what you're feeling and move forward with greater clarity.

In this episode of the Secret Habit Podcast, Shawn Bonneteau sits down with Jason Flynn, a grief coach at Vault Life Coaching and someone who personally helped Shawn work through grief and loss.

This conversation explores what grief actually is, why some losses remain unresolved, and what it can look like to move toward a sense of completeness without pretending the relationship or the pain never happened.

Jason explains why grief is a normal response to a change in the pattern of your life, but why unresolved grief may require more intentional work. He also challenges several common ideas about grief, including “just give it time,” “grieve alone,” and the idea that replacing a loss will automatically resolve it.

One of the most powerful ideas in this episode is that completeness does not necessarily require the other person to be present. There may be things left unsaid, apologies that need to be acknowledged, forgiveness that needs to be processed, or parts of a relationship that still need to be understood. Jason shares how writing a letter to a lost relationship can become part of that process.

In this episode, we explore:

• What grief actually is
• The difference between normal grief and unresolved grief
• Why relationship loss can involve multiple different losses
• Why “just give it time” isn't always enough
• Why grieving alone can keep you stuck
• How honesty and being truly heard can help you process loss
• What it means to find completeness after a relationship ends
• How grief, loss, betrayal, and pornography can overlap
• Why your grief journey may continue to change as you gain new perspective

If you're carrying a loss that still affects you, this episode is an invitation to stop judging yourself for the pain and start understanding what may still need to be processed.

Take the next steps with your recovery

Take the free Heart Hunger Clarity Quiz

Start understanding what your heart may be hungry for beneath your pornography struggle, emotions, thoughts, and daily challenges.

https://secrethabit.ca/quiz/

Book a Personal Recovery Plan Session

If you know you need help but aren't sure what your next step should be, the Personal Recovery Plan is a focused conversation where we look at your story, patterns, Heart Hunger, and current season of life and build a practical strategy for moving forward.

https://secrethabit.ca/personalrecoveryplan/

Download the Freedom Foundations Recovery Guide

Work through Shawn’s 14-episode teaching series covering the deeper framework behind his approach to pornography recovery, the inner world, emotional maturity, faith, and lasting freedom.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1tilH7mi7A2WV9vW6kvSMW0Api8P_QWbs/view?usp=drive_link

Have another idea for how you'd like to get started with coaching?

Reach out directly and let us know what you're looking for:

https://secrethabit.ca/contact/

Disclaimer:

The Secret Habit Podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. Shawn Bonneteau provides coaching, not psychotherapy, counseling, medical care, or psychological diagnosis or treatment. This podcast is not a substitute for professional mental health or medical care. Please seek support from an appropriately qualified professional for clinical or medical concerns.

Grief and Loss | Relationship Loss | Divorce Recovery | Betrayal | Porn Addiction Recovery | Christian Men | Healing From Loss | Grief After Divorce | Grief After a Relationship Ends

How do I build more intimacy in my marriage?

And is intimacy really the same thing as sex?

In this episode of the Secret Habit Podcast, Shawn Bonneteau sits down with Tony and Lisa DeLorenzo of One Extraordinary Marriage to explore what intimacy actually looks like in a healthy Christian marriage.

Tony and Lisa have been married for 26 years and have spent more than a decade helping couples understand marriage, communication, connection, and sexual intimacy. Their book, The Six Pillars of Intimacy, grew out of their own marriage and their desire to give couples a simple framework for strengthening their relationship as a whole.

One of the biggest ideas in this conversation is that intimacy is much bigger than sex.

Tony explains intimacy as closeness and connection, opening up a broader conversation about emotional, physical, financial, spiritual, recreational, and sexual intimacy.

We also talk about how vague language can create confusion in marriage. Instead of simply saying, “I want more intimacy,” couples can learn to identify what they actually need: more emotional connection, better communication, more affection, or greater sexual intimacy. Clarity makes it easier to take action.

In this episode, we explore:

• How to build more intimacy in your marriage
• The difference between sex and intimacy
• Why emotional intimacy matters
• The 6 Pillars of Intimacy
• How communication creates connection
• Practical ways to have better conversations
• Why intimacy is a learned skill
• How couples can strengthen different areas of marriage
• Where sexual intimacy fits into the bigger picture

Tony and Lisa also share practical ideas couples can use immediately, including their “walk and talk” approach for creating meaningful conversations without making every serious conversation feel intimidating.

One of the most encouraging parts of the conversation is hearing how small, consistent choices transformed their own marriage. Their message is simple: understand the principles, talk about them with your spouse, and then make them your own.

About Tony and Lisa DeLorenzo:

Tony and Lisa are the co-hosts of One Extraordinary Marriage, where they help couples make their relationship a priority and pursue greater intimacy in every area of marriage. They have been married for 26 years and have spent years teaching couples practical ways to strengthen communication, connection, and intimacy.

Take the next steps with your recovery:

*Take the free Heart Hunger Clarity Quiz

Start understanding what your heart may be hungry for beneath your pornography struggle, emotions, thoughts, and daily challenges.

https://secrethabit.ca/quiz/

*Book a Personal Recovery Plan Session

If you know you need help, the Personal Recovery Plan is a focused conversation where we look at your story, patterns, Heart Hunger, and current season of life and build a practical strategy for moving forward.

https://secrethabit.ca/personalrecoveryplan/

*Download the Freedom Foundations Recovery Guide

Go through Shawn’s 14-episode teaching series covering pornography recovery, emotional maturity, the inner world, and lasting freedom.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1tilH7mi7A2WV9vW6kvSMW0Api8P_QWbs/view?usp=drive_link

Disclaimer:

The Secret Habit Podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. Shawn Bonneteau provides coaching, not psychotherapy, counseling, medical care, or psychological diagnosis or treatment. This podcast is not a substitute for professional mental health or medical care. Please seek support from an appropriately qualified professional for clinical or medical concerns.

Secret Habit Podcast | Christian Marriage | Marriage Intimacy | Emotional Intimacy | Sexual Intimacy | Marriage Communication | Christian Couples | Six Pillars of Intimacy | Porn Recovery | Porn Addiction Recovery | Healthy Marriage

Can God still love you if you keep struggling with porn?

This is one of the deepest questions many Christian men carry in silence. You may believe in God's grace, but after another relapse or another season of hiding, you may start wondering whether God is disappointed in you, whether you've gone too far, or whether your relationship with Him has been damaged beyond repair.

In this episode of the Secret Habit Podcast, Shawn Bonneteau explores the difference between your relationship with God and your fellowship with God, and why understanding that distinction can completely change the way you approach pornography recovery.

Shawn shares a discipleship lesson that deeply impacted his own life and that he has since used with the men he coaches. The central idea is simple: sin can disrupt fellowship with God without changing God's love and relationship with His children.

Using the relationship between a parent and child and the story of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15, Shawn explains how confession and repentance aren't about earning God's love back. Instead, they are about returning to fellowship with the Father.

This matters deeply in porn recovery because shame can make a man believe he needs to clean himself up before he can come back to God. Shawn offers a different perspective: God isn't ashamed or repulsed by you. He is calling you back into fellowship with Him.

In this episode, Shawn explores:

• Can God still love me after I relapse?
• The difference between relationship with God and fellowship with God
• Why sin affects fellowship but doesn't erase God's love
• What happens when shame causes you to hide from God
• How confession and repentance restore fellowship
• What the story of the Prodigal Son teaches us about God's love
• Why understanding God's unconditional love matters in porn recovery
• How Christian men can stop confusing God's discipline with rejection
• How this truth can change the way you respond after failure

If you've ever thought, “How could God still love me after what I've done?” or “I've failed too many times for God to want me,” this episode is for you.

You don't need to pretend you haven't struggled. You don't need to hide.

The invitation is to come back.

Take the next steps with your recovery:

*Download the Freedom Foundations Recovery Guide

Work through Shawn's 14-episode Freedom Foundations teaching series and explore the deeper framework behind his approach to pornography recovery, emotional maturity, the inner world, and lasting freedom.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1tilH7mi7A2WV9vW6kvSMW0Api8P_QWbs/view?usp=drive_link

*Book a Personal Recovery Plan Session

If you know you need help but aren't sure what your next step should be, the Personal Recovery Plan gives you an opportunity to look honestly at your story, patterns, and struggles and build a clear strategy for moving forward.

https://secrethabit.ca/personalrecoveryplan/

Disclaimer:

The Secret Habit Podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. Shawn Bonneteau provides coaching, not psychotherapy, counseling, medical care, or psychological diagnosis or treatment. This podcast is not a substitute for professional mental health or medical care. Please seek support from an appropriately qualified professional for clinical or medical concerns.

Secret Habit Podcast | Porn Addiction Recovery | Christian Porn Recovery | Does God Still Love Me | God's Love and Porn Addiction | Christian Men | Porn Relapse | Shame and Faith | Grace and Recovery | Freedom From Porn

How do you fight the lies in your head when you're trying to quit porn?

For many Christian men, the struggle isn't only the temptation itself. It's what happens in the mind afterward: shame, condemnation, fear, secrecy, and the belief that something is fundamentally wrong with you.

In this episode of the Secret Habit Podcast, Shawn Bonneteau explores how shame can keep men stuck in pornography and why learning to face, challenge, and dismantle the lies underneath that shame is such an important part of recovery.

Shawn draws from Jay Stringer's work in Unwanted and breaks down a practical four-step process he uses with men in coaching: facing the stories that create shame, defying the lies with truth, dismantling the beliefs that keep shame alive, and becoming vulnerable about what you're discovering.

A major part of the conversation is learning to recognize the difference between what shame tells you and what God actually says about you. Rather than hiding from shame, Shawn encourages you to move toward it, examine the story behind it, and use truth to challenge the lies.

In this episode, Shawn explores:

• Why shame can keep pornography addiction hidden and powerful
• How to identify the stories underneath your shame
• What it means to “swim toward the shark” instead of running from shame
• How to challenge shame with the truth of Scripture
• The difference between defying shame and dismantling shame
• Why looking at evidence from your own life can challenge false beliefs
• How vulnerability can bring hidden shame into the light
• Why quitting porn involves more than simply resisting temptation
• How learning to live from what is true can change the way you approach recovery

If you've been trying to quit porn but keep getting trapped in shame, condemnation, or the same thoughts over and over again, this episode will help you start asking a better question:

What is the lie I'm believing right now, and what is actually true?

Take the next steps with your recovery:

*Download the Freedom Foundations Recovery GuideGo through Shawn's 14-episode Freedom Foundations teaching series and learn the core concepts he uses in his coaching with Christian men working toward lasting freedom from pornography.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1tilH7mi7A2WV9vW6kvSMW0Api8P_QWbs/view?usp=drive_link

*Book a Personal Recovery Plan Session

Ready to stop guessing and get clear on your own story? The Personal Recovery Plan is a focused session where Shawn helps you understand your patterns and build a practical recovery strategy around your actual life.

https://secrethabit.ca/personalrecoveryplan/

Disclaimer:

The Secret Habit Podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. Shawn Bonneteau provides coaching, not psychotherapy, counseling, medical care, or psychological diagnosis or treatment. This podcast is not a substitute for professional mental health or medical care. Please seek support from an appropriately qualified professional for clinical or medical concerns.

Secret Habit Podcast | Porn Addiction Recovery | Quit Porn | Christian Porn Recovery | Shame and Porn | Porn Relapse | Porn Addiction and Shame | Overcoming Porn Addiction | Christian Men | Freedom From Porn