Secret Lives of Teens Online

Will banning Roblox actually keep your kids safe from online predators?

Not necessarily. You can ban Roblox, Snapchat, social media, or any online game, but if your child doesn't understand how to recognize unsafe behavior online, removing an app alone won't teach them how to stay safe.

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In this episode of Secret Lives of Teens Online, we're talking about something I wish more parents understood: Banning an app is a decision. Teaching your child how to stay safe is an ongoing conversation.

I've spoken with parents who banned an online game only to discover their kids were still using it or had moved to another platform without their knowledge.

And I understand why parents want to ban Roblox. There are legitimate concerns about online predators, grooming, and unsafe interactions on gaming platforms.

But here's the question: What happens after you ban it?

As someone who was groomed online as a child, I know what it's like to grow up with strict technology rules and still find ways around them.

In this episode, I share why banning Roblox or other online games isn't a complete online safety plan, how restrictions can sometimes encourage secret online activity, and why it's so important to understand what your child loves about gaming before making decisions about it.

We also talk about how to teach kids to recognize online grooming and predatory behavior, why telling kids not to talk to strangers isn't enough, and how parents can build trust so their kids feel comfortable sharing what's happening online.

Whether you decide to keep Roblox, ban it, or delay your child's access to online games, I want you to have the tools to help them recognize unsafe behavior and know they can come to you for support.

Because protecting kids online isn't about finding one perfect app, rule, or parental control. It's about giving them the skills and support they'll need wherever they go online.

Want to share your story? If you want to share your experience growing up online (the good, bad, ugly, and beautiful), you can email me at: [email protected]. You can share your story anonymously in writing or ask about participating in a video interview.

Want to connect? Follow me on Instagram: @CyberFareedah and send me a message with your thoughts on the podcast! You can also connect with me on LinkedIn or wherever else you spend your time online! I’m CyberFareedah everywhere ♥

Want to work with me? If you’re interested in a workshop, speaking engagement, partnership, or other project, email me at [email protected] or submit a booking request here: https://www.cyberfareedah.com/projects

Is your teen really safe online, or do you just think they are?

Your teen might have great grades, wonderful friends, limited screen time, and no social media accounts. But does that mean they're actually safe online?

I was that kid. My parents had strict rules about technology, and from the outside, everything looked great. But behind the scenes, I had an entirely different online life.

In this episode of Secret Lives of Teens Online, we're talking about why banning social media, limiting screen time, and installing parental controls aren't enough to protect your kids from online predators and other online threats.

Here's something I want every parent to think about:

Does your teen tell you about the NORMAL things happening in their online life?

Not just when something goes wrong. I'm talking about their favorite YouTube videos, gaming experiences, online friendships, funny conversations, and random things they see on social media.

Because if your teen doesn't feel comfortable telling you about the little things, what happens when something serious occurs?

I share what my own secret online life looked like, why everyday conversations matter, and how parents can build the kind of trust that makes it easier for their teens to ask for help.

We also explore how to move beyond focusing exclusively on online dangers and start helping kids use their online interests to create opportunities for their future.

Protecting your kids online isn't only about controlling what they can access. It's also about helping them recognize danger, develop confidence, and know they have trusted adults they can turn to.

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Get my step-by-step mini-course and 1-minute talking scripts to help your kids recognize online predators, know what to do when something happens, and turn their online interests into opportunities.

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Want to share your story? If you want to share your experience growing up online (the good, bad, ugly, and beautiful), you can email me at: [email protected]. You can share your story anonymously in writing or ask about participating in a video interview.

Want to connect? Follow me on Instagram: @CyberFareedah and send me a message with your thoughts on the podcast! You can also connect with me on LinkedIn or wherever else you spend your time online! I’m CyberFareedah everywhere ♥

Want to work with me? If you’re interested in a workshop, speaking engagement, partnership, or other project, email me at [email protected] or submit a booking request here: https://www.cyberfareedah.com/projects

Why do teens hide parts of their online lives from their parents, even when they have loving families?

Sometimes, it starts with something as simple as not feeling free to dance.

In this episode of Secret Lives of Teens Online, I explain why I genuinely believe dancing can help protect kids online and why not feeling free to fully express myself at home contributed to the secret online life I had as a teen.

And when I say "dance," I don't only mean literally dancing.

Your teen's version of dancing might be gaming, anime, music, fashion, books, creating videos, being silly, or an interest you simply don't understand.

When teens feel like they have to hide the things they love, the internet can become the place where they feel most free to be themselves.

That's important for parents to understand because online predators can take advantage of a child's desire for acceptance, belonging, connection, and a place where they feel understood.

I also talk about why seeing my mom become more joyful and expressive helped me feel safer being myself around her, why kids sometimes avoid telling parents about difficult experiences because they don't want to burden them, and why protecting kids online requires more than parental controls, monitoring, and knowing the latest apps.

Does your teen feel more like themselves online than they do with you?

That's the question I want parents to think about after this episode.

Because helping kids stay safer online isn't only about teaching them what danger feels like. We also have to help them understand what safety feels like in themselves, in their relationships, and at home.

And sometimes, creating more of that safety really can start with dancing.

Want to share your story? If you want to share your experience growing up online (the good, bad, ugly, and beautiful), you can email me at: [email protected]. You can share your story anonymously in writing or ask about participating in a video interview.

Want to connect? Follow me on Instagram: @CyberFareedah and send me a message with your thoughts on the podcast! You can also connect with me on LinkedIn or wherever else you spend your time online! I’m CyberFareedah everywhere ♥

Want to work with me? If you’re interested in a workshop, speaking engagement, partnership, or other project, email me at [email protected] or submit a booking request here: https://www.cyberfareedah.com/projects

Do parents need to keep up with every app, slang term, social media platform, and online trend to keep their teens safe online?

No. And trying to keep up with everything may be distracting you from something much more important: understanding your teen.

In this episode of Secret Lives of Teens Online, I’m talking about why parents don’t need to become experts on every new app or game their teen uses. Instead, I want you to understand how your teen actually experiences the internet, why they love being online, who they spend time with, what those relationships mean to them, and whether they feel safe talking to you about what happens there.

Because your teen’s online life is part of their real life.

Their online friendships are real relationships. Their feelings are real. The support, belonging, love, fun, rejection, fear, and excitement they experience online can affect them offline too.

And if we want teens to understand that online dangers are real, we also have to acknowledge that the things they love about being online are real.

I also talk about why teens communicate with people while gaming, why simply telling teens not to make friends online can fall short, and how dismissing their online world can make it harder to have meaningful conversations about safe and unsafe relationships, online grooming, sextortion, and predators.

You don’t have to love every platform your teen uses. You don’t have to understand every trend. And you definitely don’t have to learn every new piece of teen slang.

But if you want to protect your teen online, get curious about their world before trying to control it.

Want to share your story? If you want to share your experience growing up online (the good, bad, ugly, and beautiful), you can email me at: [email protected]. You can share your story anonymously in writing or ask about participating in a video interview.

Want to connect? Follow me on Instagram: @CyberFareedah and send me a message with your thoughts on the podcast! You can also connect with me on LinkedIn or wherever else you spend your time online! I’m CyberFareedah everywhere ♥

Want to work with me? If you’re interested in a workshop, speaking engagement, partnership, or other project, email me at [email protected] or submit a booking request here: https://www.cyberfareedah.com/projects

Why don’t teens tell their parents what happens online, even when their parents say, “You can tell me anything”?

Because telling your teen they can talk to you isn’t enough. They’re paying attention to what happens when someone actually does.

As someone who was groomed and exploited online as a teen, I heard adults tell me over and over again that I could come to them if something happened online. But I also knew there were things I wasn’t supposed to be doing. I wasn’t supposed to talk to boys. I wasn’t supposed to talk to strangers. And I worried that telling the truth would lead to losing my phone, games, internet access, or relationships that mattered to me.

So I stayed quiet.

In this episode of Secret Lives of Teens Online, I’m talking about what actually makes teens feel safe enough to tell their parents when something goes wrong online.

We talk about the reactions teens remember, why criticizing other kids can teach your own child not to come to you, protecting your teen’s privacy, punishment, judgment and shame, questioning their decisions, knowing when NOT to immediately dig for more information, and why your response to small mistakes can affect whether they bring you the big ones.

I also talk about something I wish more parents understood: your teen doesn’t need you to react perfectly.

They need opportunities to experience you making mistakes, apologizing, managing your emotions, listening without judgment, and showing them that mistakes are something they can come back from.

Whether your teen experiences an uncomfortable message, online grooming, an online predator, sexual content, a troubling interaction on Roblox, Instagram or Snapchat, or simply makes a mistake online, your response teaches them whether coming to you made the situation safer or harder.

If you want your teen to talk to you, don’t just tell them they can.

Become someone they want to talk to.

Want to share your story? If you want to share your experience growing up online (the good, bad, ugly, and beautiful), you can email me at: [email protected]. You can share your story anonymously in writing or ask about participating in a video interview.

Want to connect? Follow me on Instagram: @CyberFareedah and send me a message with your thoughts on the podcast! You can also connect with me on LinkedIn or wherever else you spend your time online! I’m CyberFareedah everywhere ♥

Want to work with me? If you’re interested in a workshop, speaking engagement, partnership, or other project, email me at [email protected] or submit a booking request here: https://www.cyberfareedah.com/projects

Need support protecting your teen online? Join my Protect Kids Online Membership and get your first 7 days free here: https://www.skool.com/protect-kids-online-membership-4029/about

Major kudos to you for joining the moms staying ahead of the game!

How are teens groomed online, even when they have loving, involved parents?

I was groomed online as a teen by multiple adults, even though my parents did many of the things parents are told to do to keep their kids safe.

This episode is different from my usual episodes. It started as a private voice note to my coach about why I became an internet safety expert. But as I started talking, I ended up telling the fuller story of my childhood, my secret online life, the grooming I experienced, and the conversation with my mother that changed everything.

For me, online grooming didn’t start with someone who seemed dangerous. It started with belonging, acceptance, shared interests, attention, attraction, and feeling understood.

The internet had become a safe space where I could connect with people who loved the same things I did. Predators were able to use some of the very things I loved about being online to build trust, test my boundaries, and eventually ask for things I wasn’t comfortable with.

And I hid much of it from my parents.

Not because they didn’t love me. Not because they didn’t care. And not because they weren’t trying to protect me.

I was terrified that telling them the truth would mean losing the phone, internet access, relationships, and online world that meant so much to me.

In this episode, I talk about what online grooming actually felt like from my perspective as a teen, why kids can become vulnerable even in loving families, why connection and belonging matter in grooming prevention, and how my mother created a safe enough space for me to reconsider meeting a man in his 40s whom I had met online.

I also share how I eventually realized that what happened to me was grooming, how those experiences led to the work I do today, and why I created Secret Lives of Teens Online.

If you’re a parent wondering how online predators groom teens or why a child might hide an unsafe online relationship, I hope my story helps you understand the part of online grooming we don’t talk about enough:

What the child is getting from the relationship matters, too.

Want to share your story? If you want to share your experience growing up online (the good, bad, ugly, and beautiful), you can email me at: [email protected]. You can share your story anonymously in writing or ask about participating in a video interview.

Want to connect? Follow me on Instagram: @CyberFareedah and send me a message with your thoughts on the podcast! You can also connect with me on LinkedIn or wherever else you spend your time online! I’m CyberFareedah everywhere ♥

Want to work with me? If you’re interested in a workshop, speaking engagement, partnership, or other project, email me at [email protected] or submit a booking request here: https://www.cyberfareedah.com/projects

Need support protecting your teen online? Join my Protect Kids Online Membership and get your first 7 days free here: https://www.skool.com/protect-kids-online-membership-4029/about

Major kudos to you for joining the moms staying ahead of the game!

Should kids be banned from social media until they’re 16?

I think we’re asking the wrong question.

I believe delaying social media can absolutely be part of protecting kids online. But simply keeping your child off Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, or another platform until a certain age doesn’t automatically prepare them for what happens when they eventually get online.

In this episode of Secret Lives of Teens Online, I explain why I think parents should wait as long as makes sense for their child before introducing social media while ALSO using that time to teach the skills they’ll need once they have access.

Because your child’s online world is much bigger than the apps we traditionally call “social media.”

Kids communicate through online games, Discord, shared documents, playlists, messaging features, AI chatbots, and platforms adults may not even think of as social media. New apps and technologies will continue to appear, which is why protecting kids online can’t depend on banning every potentially risky platform.

Instead, we need to prepare kids to navigate them.

We talk about how parents can help kids recognize safe and unsafe people, trust their gut when something feels wrong, navigate uncomfortable situations, identify trusted adults, develop self-confidence, and feel safe enough to tell you what’s actually happening online.

I also explain why your teen’s perspective matters even when you ultimately make the decision as the parent.

If we want kids to understand that their voice matters, that their “no” matters, and that they can speak up when someone makes them uncomfortable, we also have to create spaces where their opinions are heard at home.

So should you wait before giving your child social media? I think waiting as long as possible can be a great choice.

But don’t just wait.

Prepare them while you wait.

Because eventually the platform will change, the technology will change, and your child will get older. The safety skills, communication, connection, and trust you build with them can go wherever they go.

Want to share your story? If you want to share your experience growing up online (the good, bad, ugly, and beautiful), you can email me at: [email protected]. You can share your story anonymously in writing or ask about participating in a video interview.

Want to connect? Follow me on Instagram: @CyberFareedah and send me a message with your thoughts on the podcast! You can also connect with me on LinkedIn or wherever else you spend your time online! I’m CyberFareedah everywhere ♥ 

Want to work with me? If you’re interested in a workshop, speaking engagement, partnership, or other project, email me at [email protected] or submit a booking request here: https://www.cyberfareedah.com/projects 

Need support protecting your teen online? Join my Protect Kids Online Membership and get your first 7 days free here: https://www.skool.com/protect-kids-online-membership-4029/about

Major kudos to you for joining the moms staying ahead!

Online grooming doesn’t always feel scary to a teen. At first, it can feel like friendship, connection, acceptance, and finally finding someone who understands you.

So how does online grooming actually start? And how can parents recognize the warning signs before their teen realizes something is wrong?

In this episode of Secret Lives of Teens Online, I share what being groomed online actually felt like for me as a teen, including the early warning signs I didn’t recognize at the time.

I talk about how online predators can slowly test a teen’s boundaries by moving conversations from public games into private chats, asking for secrecy, sending unexpected photos, offering gifts, trying to get personal information like an address, or telling a teen things like, “You’re so mature for your age.”

I also break down one of the most important things parents can do if they discover their teen is talking to someone unsafe online: meet them where they are before trying to convince them that the person is dangerous.

Because if your teen feels connected to someone online, immediately calling that person a predator or “bad person” may make your teen feel judged for liking them and cause them to stop talking to you.

Instead, we’ll talk about how parents can create the kind of safe, nonjudgmental relationship that makes it easier for teens to recognize when an online relationship starts making them uncomfortable and come to you when something doesn’t feel right.

We also explore the SAFE Method, including how Safe Spaces and Accountability can help parents build trust, navigate mistakes, and have more open conversations with their teens about online grooming, gaming, social media, online relationships, and internet safety.

Want to share your story? If you want to share your experience growing up online (the good, bad, ugly, and beautiful), you can email me at: [email protected]. You can share your story anonymously in writing or ask about participating in a video interview.

Want to connect? Follow me on Instagram: @CyberFareedah and send me a message with your thoughts on the podcast! You can also connect with me on LinkedIn or wherever else you spend your time online! I’m CyberFareedah everywhere ♥ 

Want to work with me? If you’re interested in a workshop, speaking engagement, partnership, or other project, email me at [email protected] or submit a booking request here: https://www.cyberfareedah.com/projects 

Need support protecting your teen online? Join my Protect Kids Online Membership and get your first 7 days free here: https://www.skool.com/protect-kids-online-membership-4029/about

Major kudos to you for joining the moms staying ahead of the game!

Your story matters and I want to hear it.

In this episode, I invite you to share your experiences growing up online, including the good, bad, ugly, and beautiful parts of your digital life.

Maybe you formed a lifelong friendship through an online game. Maybe you lived a double life, experienced online grooming, or faced predatory behavior or exploitation. Whatever your story, you deserve a safe space to be heard.

The Secret Lives of Teens Online podcast begins with my story (a teeny tiny piece...more to come later lol), but it does not end there. Protecting teens online requires all of us(parents, teens, educators, technology companies, lawmakers, and communities) to listen, learn, and take responsibility for what is within our control.

If you want to share your experience growing up online (the good, bad, ugly, and beautiful), you can email me at: [email protected]. You can share your story anonymously in writing or ask about participating in a video interview.

Want to connect? Follow me on Instagram: @CyberFareedah and send me a message with your thoughts on the podcast! You can also connect with me on LinkedIn or wherever else you spend your time online! I’m CyberFareedah everywhere ♥ 

Want to work with me? If you’re interested in a workshop, speaking engagement, partnership, or other project, email me at [email protected] or submit a booking request here: https://www.cyberfareedah.com/projects 

Need support protecting your teen online? Join my Protect Kids Online Membership and get your first 7 days free here: https://www.skool.com/protect-kids-online-membership-4029/about

Major kudos to you for joining the moms staying ahead of the game!

Why am I finally sharing my story of being groomed online as a child?

In this episode, I explain what led me to speak publicly about the good, bad, ugly, and beautiful parts of my secret life online. I reflect on the guilt and shame I carried, the memories I buried, and the safe spaces that helped me understand I was not alone...and that what happened was not my fault.

I also explore why parents need to show up as human beings, share age-appropriate stories with their children, and create honest conversations about online grooming, social media, gaming, and digital safety. Through my SAFE Method (Safe Spaces, Accountability, Fun, and Empathy) I talk about how openness, self-compassion, and connection can help teens and parents feel safer sharing what often goes unsaid.

Want to share your story? If you want to share your experience growing up online (the good, bad, ugly, and beautiful), you can email me at: [email protected]. You can share your story anonymously in writing or ask about participating in a video interview.

Want to connect? Follow me on Instagram: @CyberFareedah and send me a message with your thoughts on the podcast! You can also connect with me on LinkedIn or wherever else you spend your time online! I’m CyberFareedah everywhere ♥ 

Want to work with me? If you’re interested in a workshop, speaking engagement, partnership, or other project, email me at [email protected] or submit a booking request here: https://www.cyberfareedah.com/projects 

Need support protecting your teen online? Join my Protect Kids Online Membership and get your first 7 days free here: https://www.skool.com/protect-kids-online-membership-4029/about

Major kudos to you for joining the moms staying ahead of the game!