Make Him Work for It
If there's one thread running through this episode, it's this: stop doing the work that should be his.
After 18 years as a private matchmaker to some of the most eligible men in the world, I've learned exactly how men think, what they value, and what makes them chase a woman versus what makes them coast. And almost every dating problem I see comes back to the same root issue — women doing the emotional, financial, and relational labor that should belong to him. We give too much access too soon. We pay our own way when we shouldn't have to. We share our deepest, most private stories before a man has earned the right to hear them. We rush into exclusivity just because he's excited, instead of making him prove it over time.
In this recorded candid live Q&A, real women bring me their real situations — unscripted, unfiltered, and exactly what's actually happening in dating right now.
We start with a man who tests boundaries with an 11:15pm text that's way too familiar way too soon — and I'll tell you exactly how to handle a man like this without overreacting or underreacting. Then I give you the pizza analogy that is going to completely change the way you think about long distance dating, who pays for flights and hotels, and why a man who is truly interested in you will never ask you to make the accommodations. If you've ever wondered whether you're investing more into a relationship than he is, this is the segment that will make it click.
Then we get into one of the most important and emotionally honest conversations I've ever had on this show. A woman coming out of an abusive marriage asks me when, if ever, she should tell a new man her story. My answer is something every woman dating after trauma, after divorce, or after a difficult past needs to hear: he has to earn it. That kind of trust isn't something you hand out for free in the early stages of dating. He's a stranger for a very long time, no matter how kind or safe he seems.
I also share a story I have never told publicly before — about a two year situationship I had years ago with someone you would absolutely recognize, what it taught me about chemistry versus character, and why physical attraction is not always what it seems in the beginning.
And finally, we talk about what to do when a man wants to lock down exclusivity after only two dates. I'll walk you through exactly how long you should wait, what to say to slow things down without pushing him away, and why doing this might be the smartest dating decision you make all year.
This episode covers boundaries, long distance dating, who should pay, dating after an abusive relationship, attraction versus compatibility, and how soon is too soon for exclusivity — all from the perspective of someone who has spent nearly two decades inside the minds of the men you're trying to understand.
Make him work for it. Every single time. No exceptions.
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