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How well do we really know ourselves beyond our roles, relationships, and responsibilities?

In Episode 17, Vanessa and Pablo explore what it means to know yourself authentically and why “I don’t know who I am” can sometimes mean, “I know more than I’m willing to admit.”

They examine the tension between desire, social conditioning, and personal values. Is every desire an expression of your true self? Should society’s expectations determine what is acceptable? Or does self-knowledge require something deeper: the ability to face what is within you without automatically obeying, judging, or hiding from it?

This conversation invites you to look beyond labels and preferences, notice the different voices operating within you, and consider which ones you are consciously choosing to strengthen.

Maybe knowing yourself isn’t about finding one final definition. Maybe it’s about developing the honesty to see yourself clearly, the discernment to choose deliberately, and the courage to admit what you already know.

To connect with Pablo, click on the link below to follow his Substack. or email him at [email protected] 

https://substack.com/@pablo375324

To connect with Vanessa, send a DM on social media platforms: 

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/therealvanessaramsey?igsh=ZGQzNGZ5cmNlcXE5&utm_source=qr

@therealvanessaramsey

YouTube https://youtube.com/@therealvanessaramsey?si=6sYZTk40ZffRq0u-

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@expansive.life0?_r=1&_t=ZP-96y7a0MYNSh

Visit her website at https://expansivelifesolutions.com

Support our local sponsor, Koo Koo Sint Coffee, for fresh, small-batch roasted organic specialty coffee that's ethically sourced and roasted right here in Montana. https://kookoosintcoffee.com/

#SeeingWhatsHere #SelfAwareness #PersonalGrowth

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We all say we want honesty, but do we really?

When Pablo and I brought a whiteboard to our local farmers market with one simple question, "What's something you wish people talked about more honestly?" the very first response surprised us. An older woman looked at the question, shook her head, and quietly replied, "That would be bad. Very bad."

Her answer wasn't about honesty itself, it was about what honesty can cost. Rejection. Alienation. Hurting the people we love. Losing our place in a family, community, or identity we've spent years building.

In this episode, we explore why honesty is so difficult, what we're really protecting when we hide parts of ourselves, and whether the greatest barrier to honesty is fear of the truth or fear of what the truth might change.

Along the way, Pablo dives into the fascinating etymology of the word honesty, tracing it back to the Latin concept of honor (honos). Rather than simply meaning "truthfulness," honesty was historically connected to dignity, public honor, and how we hold space for another person. We explore how this older understanding invites us to recognize the inherent worth—and perhaps even the divine image—in another human being, even when we disagree with them or find their truth uncomfortable.

Join us for a conversation about the tension between truth and belonging, the courage it takes to be seen, and what honesty may really be asking of us.

To connect with Pablo, click on the link below to follow his Substack. or email him at [email protected] 

https://substack.com/@pablo375324

To connect with Vanessa, send a DM on social media platforms: 

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/therealvanessaramsey?igsh=ZGQzNGZ5cmNlcXE5&utm_source=qr

@therealvanessaramsey

YouTube https://youtube.com/@therealvanessaramsey?si=6sYZTk40ZffRq0u-

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@expansive.life0?_r=1&_t=ZP-96y7a0MYNSh

Visit her website at https://expansivelifesolutions.com

Support our local sponsor, Koo Koo Sint Coffee, for fresh, small-batch roasted organic specialty coffee that's ethically sourced and roasted right here in Montana. https://kookoosintcoffee.com/

#WhatHonestyCosts #Honesty #Authenticity #Truth #Belonging #PersonalGrowth #SelfAwareness #Relationships #Vulnerability #Kabbalah #SpiritualGrowth #Transformation #SeeingWhatsHere #Podcast

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We live in a world full of books, podcasts, therapy, coaching, and endless promises of the next breakthrough. But what if none of those things can do the one thing we're hoping they'll do?

In this episode, Vanessa and Pablo explore the difference between gathering information and experiencing transformation. They discuss the temptation to keep searching for the "right" method, why relief isn't always the same as growth, and how the deepest changes often happen in the ordinary, unseen moments when life doesn't go according to plan.

The real work doesn't happen when you finish the book. It begins when reality invites you to live what you've learned.

To connect with Pablo, click on the link below to follow his Substack. or email him at [email protected] 

https://substack.com/@pablo375324

To connect with Vanessa, send a DM on social media platforms: 

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/therealvanessaramsey?igsh=ZGQzNGZ5cmNlcXE5&utm_source=qr

@therealvanessaramsey

YouTube https://youtube.com/@therealvanessaramsey?si=6sYZTk40ZffRq0u-

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@expansive.life0?_r=1&_t=ZP-96y7a0MYNSh

Visit her website at https://expansivelifesolutions.com

Support our local sponsor, Koo Koo Sint Coffee, for fresh, small-batch roasted organic specialty coffee that's ethically sourced and roasted right here in Montana. https://kookoosintcoffee.com/

#SeeingWhatsHere #PersonalGrowth #SelfAwareness #InnerWork #Transformation #Mindset #Coaching #Therapy #Presence #SelfDiscovery #LivedExperience

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Have you ever looked back on something you once believed with complete certainty and wondered, How did I ever see it that way?

In this episode of Seeing What's Here, we explore the invisible "frames" through which we interpret the world. From relationships and work to faith, conflict, and identity, our experiences are shaped not only by what happens, but by the meaning we assign to what happens.

As our perspectives evolve, we can feel both liberated and unsettled. If our understanding keeps changing, is there anything solid to stand on? Is wisdom about finding the "right" frame, or becoming aware that we're looking through one in the first place?

Join us as we unpack why two people can witness the same event and walk away with completely different stories, and how learning to notice our own lens may be the first step toward seeing what's actually here.

To connect with Pablo, click on the link below to follow his Substack. or email him at [email protected] 

https://substack.com/@pablo375324

To connect with Vanessa, you can message her on social media platforms: 

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/therealvanessaramsey?igsh=ZGQzNGZ5cmNlcXE5&utm_source=qr

@therealvanessaramsey

YouTube https://youtube.com/@therealvanessaramsey?si=6sYZTk40ZffRq0u-

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@expansive.life0?_r=1&_t=ZP-96y7a0MYNSh

Visit her website at https://expansivelifesolutions.com

#SeeingWhatsHere #Perspective #Mindset #SelfAwareness #PersonalGrowth #Curiosity #Relationships #EmotionalIntelligence #Perception #ConsciousLiving #Transformation #Podcast

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What happens when you're forced to slow down?

This week, Pablo shares what it's been like navigating a painful hip injury that has kept him from doing work he loves. Vanessa reflects on why being questioned about her own productivity struck such a deep nerve, and why she finds herself judging both herself and others through the lens of "getting things done."

Is productivity simply about contributing? Or have we quietly turned it into a measure of human worth?

In this conversation, we explore the stories we tell about work, rest, laziness, identity, and the uncomfortable ways we evaluate ourselves and each other. Rather than offering easy answers, we invite you to notice the assumptions you've inherited about what makes a life meaningful.

Maybe your value was never meant to be measured by your output.

We'd love to hear your thoughts. When do you feel most valuable and why?

To connect with Pablo, click on the link below to follow his Substack. or email him at [email protected] 

https://substack.com/@pablo375324

To connect with Vanessa, you can message her on social media platforms: 

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/therealvanessaramsey?igsh=ZGQzNGZ5cmNlcXE5&utm_source=qr

@therealvanessaramsey

YouTube https://youtube.com/@therealvanessaramsey?si=6sYZTk40ZffRq0u-

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@expansive.life0?_r=1&_t=ZP-96y7a0MYNSh

Visit her website at https://expansivelifesolutions.com

#SeeingWhatsHere #Productivity #SelfWorth #Identity #Rest #Purpose #PersonalGrowth #Mindset #SelfAwareness #HumanNature #ConsciousLiving #MeaningfulConversations

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Why are we so drawn to stories of heroes and villains? And what happens when we begin casting real people into those same roles?

In this episode of Seeing What's Here, Vanessa and Pablo explore our fascination with heroes, from blockbuster movies to everyday life, and how our minds naturally simplify complex people into "good guys" and "bad guys." Together, they examine why we need villains, what we gain by assigning blame, and how these stories can keep us from seeing ourselves and others clearly.

Join us as we challenge the narratives we create, explore the tension between accountability and compassion, and consider whether true freedom comes not from becoming the hero, but from letting go of the roles altogether.

Referenced YouTube video with Kyle Cease. https://youtu.be/ZzDbjESsYVA?si=GNlxTO7RNjlgv3I2

To connect with Pablo, click on the link below to follow his Substack. or email him at [email protected] 

https://substack.com/@pablo375324

To connect with Vanessa, you can message her on social media platforms: 

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/therealvanessaramsey?igsh=ZGQzNGZ5cmNlcXE5&utm_source=qr

@therealvanessaramsey

YouTube https://youtube.com/@therealvanessaramsey?si=6sYZTk40ZffRq0u-

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@expansive.life0?_r=1&_t=ZP-96y7a0MYNSh

Visit her website at https://expansivelifesolutions.com

#SeeingWhatsHere #HeroesAndVillains #SelfAwareness #InnerWork #EmotionalGrowth #PersonalDevelopment #ConsciousLiving #Relationships #Perspective #Mindset

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Have you ever found yourself cast as the bad guy in someone else's story?

In this episode of Seeing What's Here, Vanessa and Pablo explore why being misunderstood can feel so uncomfortable and why most of us work so hard to avoid the role of "villain." Together, they unpack the tension between caring about others and taking responsibility for emotions that aren't ours to carry.

Through stories, reflection, and practical examples, they discuss what happens when our decisions disappoint others, when leadership requires difficult choices, and why trying to control how people perceive us often leads to exhaustion. They also explore the difference between causing harm and simply triggering discomfort, and how another person's reaction may reveal more about their inner world than about our intentions.

If you've ever struggled with criticism, people-pleasing, conflict, or the fear of being judged, this conversation offers a grounded perspective on staying true to what is before you—even when someone else sees you as the villain.

Because sometimes doing the right thing doesn't make you the hero in everyone's story.

To connect with Pablo, click on the link below to follow his Substack. or email him at [email protected] 

https://substack.com/@pablo375324

To connect with Vanessa, you can message her on social media platforms: 

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/therealvanessaramsey?igsh=ZGQzNGZ5cmNlcXE5&utm_source=qr

@therealvanessaramsey

YouTube https://youtube.com/@therealvanessaramsey?si=6sYZTk40ZffRq0u-

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@expansive.life0?_r=1&_t=ZP-96y7a0MYNSh

Visit her website at https://expansivelifesolutions.com

#SeeingWhatsHere #SelfAwareness #PersonalGrowth

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Grief touches every one of us, yet most of us are never taught how to be with it. In this episode, we explore what grief really is, why loss can feel so disorienting, and what happens when we stop trying to rush past our pain. Through personal reflections on the death of a dear friend, we discuss love, absence, memory, and the challenge of staying present with what is here.

If you're navigating loss, missing someone you love, or simply trying to make sense of the emotions that come with change, this conversation is an invitation to slow down, listen, and meet yourself with compassion.

To connect with Pablo, click on the link below to follow his Substack. or email him at [email protected] 

https://substack.com/@pablo375324

To connect with Vanessa, you can message her on social media platforms: 

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/therealvanessaramsey?igsh=ZGQzNGZ5cmNlcXE5&utm_source=qr @therealvanessaramsey

YouTube https://youtube.com/@therealvanessaramsey?si=6sYZTk40ZffRq0u-

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@expansive.life0?_r=1&_t=ZP-96y7a0MYNSh

Visit her website at https://expansivelifesolutions.com

#SeeingWhatsHere #Grief #Loss #Healing #Awareness #Presence #PodcastConversation

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Life doesn't always unfold the way we hoped, planned, or expected. A relationship changes, an opportunity falls through, someone disappoints us, or reality simply refuses to cooperate. So why does it hurt so much?

In this episode of Seeing What's Here, Vanessa and Pablo explore the tension between desire and attachment, why disappointment can feel so overwhelming, and what our reactions reveal about the deeper needs and stories we carry within us. Together they examine whether suffering comes from life's challenges themselves, or from our struggle to accept what is already here.

Join us for a conversation about expectations, resistance, unmet needs, and finding peace in the midst of life's unexpected turns.

To connect with Pablo, click on the link below to follow his Substack. or email him at [email protected] 

https://substack.com/@pablo375324

To connect with Vanessa, you can message her on social media platforms: 

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/therealvanessaramsey?igsh=ZGQzNGZ5cmNlcXE5&utm_source=qr

YouTube https://youtube.com/@therealvanessaramsey?si=6sYZTk40ZffRq0u-

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@expansive.life0?_r=1&_t=ZP-96y7a0MYNSh

Visit her website at https://expansivelifesolutions.com

#SeeingWhatsHere #SelfAwareness #PersonalGrowth

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Is life meant to be a playground or a battleground?

In this episode of Seeing What’s Here, Pablo and Vanessa explore the tension between freedom and responsibility, play and discipline, desire and self-mastery. Pablo argues that life is meant to be experienced fully and joyfully, while Vanessa wrestles with the idea that not every impulse should be followed simply because it exists.

Together they dive into real-world examples, challenging questions, and the delicate balance between honoring our humanity and considering the impact of our choices on ourselves and others. Is discomfort always a sign we’re off track? Can structure actually create more freedom? And where is the line between living fully and avoiding responsibility?

Join us for an honest conversation about what it means to be truly alive without losing ourselves, or each other, in the process.

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