When I was sixteen, I wrote in my journal:

“I once heard about a saint. I’ve forgotten her name now. I remember her story. She was about to be raped. The saint poked out her eyes so that she would become so unattractive that the perpetrator would no longer want to rape her. I never did anything like that. Jesus, I barely yelled. I barely fought. I guess that’s why she’s a saint….and I’m not.”

Years later, that entry became the seed of my spoken word poem “Self‑Mutilation as Miracle.”

This piece explores how women’s suffering has been sanctified—how holiness and harm blur in stories of female saints who mutilated themselves to survive.

In this episode, I perform the poem and reflect on the relationship between faith, body, and silence, asking what it really means to call something holy.

Copyright ©2025 Kate Earley

Music: Cornfield Chase by Anna Steven’s & Michael Forester

Written: November 4, 2025

Cover art: Joyce Lee