Compassion in a T-Shirt

Self-Neglect, Burnout, and a Compassionate Path to Thriving | Hayley Quinn


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In this returning conversation on Compassion in a T-Shirt, I’m delighted to welcome back Dr Hayley D Quinn for a thoughtful and very grounded exploration of self-neglect, burnout, and what it really means to live with compassion.

Hayley is a former clinical psychologist, wellbeing coach, author, and host of the Welcome to Self® podcast. She’s also the past president of Compassionate Mind Australia, and her work sits at the heart of compassion science translated into everyday life.

We centre the conversation around Hayley’s upcoming book, From Self-Neglect to Self-Compassion: A Compassionate Guide to Creating a Thriving Life (released 5 February 2026). Together, we unpack what self-neglect actually looks like in day-to-day life, why so many high-achieving and people-pleasing individuals fall into it, and how it quietly erodes wellbeing, relationships, and vitality over time.

We explore the three circles model, self-criticism, boundaries, values, sleep, and the micro-moments where compassionate action really counts. Hayley also shares openly about the personal journey of writing the book, and what it was like to live the very principles she was putting on the page.

This episode is for anyone who feels stretched, depleted, or stuck in patterns of putting themselves last — and who wants a kinder, more sustainable way forward.

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome

00:37 Discussing the New Book: From Self-Neglect to Self-Compassion

02:00 Understanding Self-Neglect

02:34 Micro Moments of Self-Neglect

04:15 Impact of Self-Neglect on Relationships and Wellbeing

05:33 Burnout Prevention and Compassionate Action

06:56 Exploring the Three Circles Model

11:03 Self-Criticism and Its Origins

13:44 Getting to Know Yourself: Practical Steps

20:39 Reconnecting with Values and Hopes

26:24 The Challenge of Setting Boundaries

28:51 Navigating Relationship Boundaries

29:45 Building Self-Trust Through Boundaries

30:36 The Importance of Sleep and Self-Care

35:08 Compassion and Making Lasting Changes

40:27 Writing the Book: From Self-Neglect to Self-Compassion

48:16 Practical Steps for Self-Compassion

52:45 Final Thoughts and Reflections

Links:

From Self-Neglect to Self-Compassion: A compassionate guide to creating a thriving life.

https://drhayleydquinn.com/product/book/

AVAILABLE NOW FOR PRE-ORDER

Publishing 6 February 2026

Hayley’s website: https://drhayleydquinn.com/

Follow Hayley on Instagram: @drhayleydquinn

If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/

Say hi on social:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl

Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/

Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/

YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/7Ju0I5AIaEo


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Video hashtags:

selfcompassion, burnoutprevention, compassionfocusedtherapy, wellbeing, boundaries, mentalhealth, women, genderdiversity

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Compassion in a T-ShirtBy Dr Stan Steindl