Do you react first and regret later?

In this episode of Making Wholeness Possible, we talk about self-regulation — the practice of deciding who you want to be before the moment hits.

Ken shares why self-regulation starts before the hard conversation, how to stop making meaning about what others think, and how to write guiding principles that help you show up with courage, clarity, and respect.

If you’ve ever:

• Avoided a hard conversation

• Felt your anxiety take over in a meeting

• Made up a storyline in your head

• Or wished you’d handled something differently…

This episode will give you practical steps to grow.

Stay curious. Keep practicing. That’s how we make wholeness possible.

SHOW NOTES

Episode 4: Self-Regulation

Self-regulation is about choosing how you want to show up — even when you’re anxious, triggered, or uncomfortable.

Self-regulation is living:

• Intentionally instead of impulsively

• Thoughtfully instead of reactively

• Self-governed instead of externally governed

  
  

Four Practices for Building Self-Regulation

1. Increase Self-Awareness

Ask:

• What triggers me repeatedly?

• What situations make me reactive?

• What storylines do I write in my head?

You can’t regulate what you’re unaware of.

2. Monitor Your Behavior

Notice:

• What happens in your body when you’re triggered?

• Do you shut down internally?

• Do you deflect with humor?

• Do you avoid?

Pay attention without shame. Just observe.

3. Evaluate Your Life

Ask yourself:

• Am I showing up how I want to be known?

• Do my reactions align with my values?

• Where do I have regret?

Honest evaluation leads to growth.

4. Become Self-Governed

Write a guiding principle for moments where you tend to lose yourself.

Ken’s example:

“I welcome hard conversations. In them, I am fully present, highly respectful, and completely honest.”

A guiding principle gives your values a voice when your anxiety wants to take over.

Practical Ways to Work on This Week

Choose one small step:

• Write one guiding principle for a situation that regularly triggers you.

• Practice noticing when you’re making meaning about someone else’s behavior.

• Pause in a tense moment and ask: “Who do I want to be right now?”

Nobody can do this work for you. But you don’t have to do it alone. Stay curious. Keep practicing.That’s how wholeness is made possible.

SHOW NOTESEpisode 4: Self-RegulationFour Practices for Building Self-Regulation1. Increase Self-Awareness2. Monitor Your Behavior3. Evaluate Your Life4. Become Self-GovernedPractical Ways to Work on This Week