Have you ever felt like your spouse wasn't giving you the respect you felt you deserved?  Well, you're not alone.  I think it's safe to say that most married couples have probably felt this at different times in their relationship.  The challenge we face is what happens when we start to feel like we aren't respected, and when we turn to tactics that end up costing us the very respect we are seeking.

When we are feeling disrespected, some other emotions will usually come along with it, like anger or sadness, as well as a very strong desire to ease our discomfort and correct the situation as quickly as possible.  When we want to feel better, our desperate drive to change our circumstance will often lead us to controlling tactics, where we may attempt to control the behavior of our spouse (or others), demanding that they give us the respect we are longing for. 

But let's be real.  These attempts may gain us some compliance, and may look like respect on the outside, but it won't be real respect.  It will be fake, and will often lead to a feeling of resentment on the inside.  So let's take a different approach as we realign ourselves with our own values, using more mature skills... ones that give us respect for ourselves first.  Being able to free up our precious mind space in this way can allow us to improve the environment for the betterment of all those around us.  Now that is something to be respected.