Selves Unedited

What if the life you're waiting to live is happening right now?

As summer approaches, many of us feel increased pressure to look a certain way before we allow ourselves to fully participate in vacations, celebrations, beach days, and everyday moments. But what if confidence isn't the prerequisite we've been taught it is?

In this episode, Dr. Maria-Christina Stewart and Dr. Danielle Colborn explore how body shame and self-consciousness can quietly shrink our lives—not because of how we look, but because of what we avoid.

Together, they discuss:

• Why "I'll do it when..." can become a trap
• How avoidance strengthens anxiety and body shame
• The surprising way confidence is actually built
• Why "good enough" may be more powerful than perfection
• How to stop postponing meaningful experiences
• Small steps toward showing up exactly as you are

If you've been waiting to feel better about yourself before fully living your life, consider this instead:

Maybe the confidence you're looking for is waiting on the other side of participation.

Selves Unedited is hosted by Dr. Maria-Christina Stewart and Dr. Danielle Colborn, psychologists specializing in eating disorders, body image, and mental health.

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who might benefit from this conversation—your support helps more people find Selves Unedited.

Please note: This podcast is intended for educational purposes and is not therapy or a substitute for professional treatment. If you or someone you know is struggling, please seek out professional help.

Selves Unedited with Dr. Danielle Colborn and Dr. Maria-Christina Stewart

In this episode of Selves Unedited, Danielle and Maria Christina explore the quiet but powerful ways body shame can shape our lives. From shrinking ourselves socially to disconnecting from pleasure, body shame often operates beneath the surface—impacting confidence, relationships, self-esteem, and the way we care for our bodies.

Together, they unpack the difference between everyday body dissatisfaction and deeper body shame, while offering compassionate, practical ways to shift from self-surveillance toward embodiment, nourishment, and self-trust.

In This Episode

• The difference between body dissatisfaction and body shame
• How shame becomes internalized through culture, media, and societal expectations
• Why body shame affects confidence, relationships, and mental health
• The connection between body shame and disordered eating
• Why self-criticism is not an effective motivator for health
• Shifting from “fixing” your body to caring for your body
• Moving from appearance-focused thinking to body functionality and appreciation
• Recognizing self-critical thoughts and practicing self-compassion
• The exhaustion of “proving” you are good enough
• Embodiment as a path toward greater ease, connection, and presence

Key Takeaways

• Shame says “there is something wrong with me,” while guilt says “I did something I regret.”
• Body shame often becomes normalized, making it difficult to recognize how deeply it affects daily life.
• Restriction and rigid control rarely create lasting self-worth or wellbeing.
• Nourishment, care, and curiosity create a healthier relationship with the body than criticism or punishment.
• Appreciating what the body allows us to do can help shift attention away from appearance alone.
• Small shifts in awareness and self-talk can create meaningful change over time.

Reflection for the Week

As you move through this week, notice the moments where self-consciousness pulls you away from presence, connection, or ease. What would it look like to respond with compassion rather than criticism?

Reminder

This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes only and is not therapy or a substitute for professional mental health care. If you are struggling, please seek support from a qualified professional.

As summer approaches, have you noticed some old narratives starting to resurface about your body, your appearance, comparisons to others, or pressure to look a certain way?

In this episode of Selves Unedited, Dr. Maria Christina Stewart and Dr. Danielle Colborn begin May’s new theme by exploring why summer can intensify these body image struggles, and why so many people postpone fully living until they feel better about how they look.

Together, they discuss:

• Why summer often amplifies body shame and self-criticism
• The cultural pressure to become “summer ready”
• Fear of being seen in swimsuits, shorts, tank tops, and social settings
• How trying to “fix” the body can actually reinforce shame
• The emotional aftermath of visibility and vulnerability
• Why avoidance strengthens anxiety
• The difference between body positivity and body acceptance
• How meaningful experiences become possible when we stop waiting to feel perfect
• Practical ways to gently take up space in the body you have right now

This episode is a compassionate conversation about visibility, discomfort, self-acceptance, and learning to participate in life now, not someday when your body changes.

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This week, Dr. Danielle Colborn and Dr. Maria Christina Stewart explore the nuanced difference between being seen and being truly known. As they close out April’s theme of “taking up space,” they examine why visibility alone doesn’t always lead to meaningful connection—and how authenticity plays a central role in bridging that gap.

Through personal reflection and clinical insight, they unpack the internal and relational factors that lead us to edit ourselves, people-please, or present curated versions of who we are. The conversation invites listeners to consider what it might look like to move toward being more fully known—gently, intentionally, and in ways that feel safe.

• The difference between being visible and being authentically seen
• Why we often edit, soften, or reshape ourselves in social spaces
• How people-pleasing and performance can create disconnection
• The role of self-awareness in authentic expression
• Why knowing your own thoughts, needs, and feelings is foundational
• How shifting attention toward genuine curiosity about others can ease social anxiety
• The impact of social media and curated identity on feeling “seen”
• The importance of presence vs. being in your thoughts about the moment
• How authenticity fosters deeper, more meaningful connections

• Being seen doesn’t guarantee being known—authenticity is the bridge
• You can’t fully see others if you’re not allowing yourself to be seen
• Self-connection comes before authentic connection with others
• Awareness of when you’re “editing yourself” is the first step toward change
• Small, intentional shifts toward authenticity can lead to more fulfilling interactions

This conversation sets the stage for May’s theme: Embodiment—exploring what it means to feel at home in your body and connected to yourself. Because being fully seen starts with being fully connected within.

As you move through your week, notice moments where:

• You hold something back
• You shift away from what feels true
• You present a more “acceptable” version of yourself

Not as something to judge—but simply to observe. Awareness is where change begins.

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care. If you are struggling, please seek support from a qualified provider.

What happens after you take the brave step of showing up more fully? For many of us, that’s when the real challenge begins.

In this episode of Selves Unedited, Dr. Maria Christina Stewart and Dr. Danielle Colborn explore the often overlooked aftermath of vulnerability: the anxiety, self-doubt, and urge to retreat that can arise after we put ourselves out there. Whether you've spoken up, reached out, worn something that feels more like you, or taken a meaningful risk, the discomfort that follows can be intense—and it's deeply human.

Together, they discuss why our brains naturally scan for threat after moments of exposure, how anticipatory anxiety differs from actual danger, and why the goal isn't to eliminate fear, but to learn that we can stay with ourselves through it.

This conversation offers practical strategies for navigating the emotional aftermath of visibility, including:

• Why feeling anxious after taking a risk is normal
• How retreat reinforces fear—and how staying teaches safety
• The importance of self-compassion in moments of vulnerability
• Physical tools for calming the nervous system
• How to let go of post-event rumination and self-criticism

If you've ever found yourself wanting to disappear after being seen, this episode is for you. Growth isn't just about stepping forward—it's about learning to remain present after you do.

What happens when you finally start showing up more fully—and fear shows up too?

In this episode, Dr. Danielle Colborn and Dr. Maria-Christina Stewart explore the anxiety that often comes with becoming more visible, taking up space, and moving toward the life you want. They discuss why fear is often a natural sign of growth rather than a signal to retreat, and how learning to tolerate discomfort can open the door to a fuller, more meaningful life.

The conversation includes practical tools for working with fear, including emotional labeling, self-compassion, structured worry time, and using the breath to regulate moments of overwhelm.

• Why fear often increases when we begin to grow or expand
• The difference between real danger and emotional discomfort
• How avoidance strengthens anxiety over time
• Why exposure is one of the most effective ways to reduce fear
• How to relate to fear as a younger part of yourself needing care
• Naming emotions to build self-awareness and perspective
• Structured worry time as a tool for anxiety spirals
• Using the breath and body to ride waves of overwhelm

Feeling fear when you begin to show up more fully does not mean something is wrong—it often means you are doing something brave.

This podcast is for educational purposes and is not therapy or a substitute for professional support. If you are struggling, please reach out to a qualified mental health professional.

What if taking up space didn’t require a bold transformation… but started with one quiet moment?

In this solo episode, Dr. Maria-Christina Stewart offers a more reflective, intimate conversation on what it really means to begin coming out of hiding. Instead of pushing yourself into visibility, this episode explores a gentler path—one rooted in awareness, curiosity, and small, meaningful shifts.

If you’ve ever found yourself holding back, editing who you are, or staying small to feel safe, this episode is an invitation to begin—slowly and compassionately—expanding into your life.

• Why “taking up space” often begins with small, quiet moments
• How hiding develops as a protective pattern—and why it makes sense
• The difference between forcing change vs. experimenting with growth
• How to shift from seeking approval to gathering insight
• Why fear before action is often louder than the reality
• How to build trust in your ability to handle discomfort

Where in your life are you shrinking right now?

And what would it look like to expand—just 5%—this week?

Next week, Dr. Danielle Colborn rejoins the conversation as we continue exploring this month's theme of Coming Out of Hiding—with a deeper look at fear, visibility, and what it means to take up space in your life.

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy. If you or someone you know is struggling, please seek support from a qualified professional.

If this episode resonated with you, please consider subscribing, leaving a rating or review, and sharing it with someone who might benefit. Your support helps these conversations reach more people.

Episode Summary

In this episode of Selves Unedited, Dr. Danielle Colborne and Dr. Maria Christina Stewart explore a powerful and deeply relatable question: Are you shrinking or expanding?

They unpack the subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways we hold ourselves back—from avoiding visibility and staying silent, to hiding behind clothing or self-doubt. This conversation goes beyond body image to touch on authenticity, fear, growth, and what it really means to take up space in your life.

Whether you’ve found yourself dimming your voice, avoiding opportunities, or feeling caught between wanting to be seen and wanting to disappear, this episode offers compassionate insight and practical ways to move toward expansion—at your own pace.

✨ In This Episode, We Cover:

• What it means to “shrink” vs. “expand” in everyday life
• The many ways hiding shows up (speech, behavior, body, and choices)
• Fear of visibility and the vulnerability of being seen
• Why even positive growth and success can feel scary
• The role of self-compassion, grace, and emotional awareness
• How to identify and challenge feared outcomes
• Building distress tolerance when things don’t go as planned
• The importance of values and your personal “why”
• Taking small, meaningful steps toward showing up more fully
• Navigating body image, clothing choices, and safety considerations

🔍 Key Takeaways

• Hiding is common and human—it can show up in many areas of life, not just body image.
• Fear doesn’t mean stop—it’s something to understand, validate, and work with.
• Thoughts aren’t facts—others’ opinions don’t define your truth.
• Worst-case scenarios are survivable—you are more capable than your fear suggests.
• Expansion is a practice—small, intentional steps create meaningful change over time.
• You get to define what “taking up space” looks like for you, in a way that feels safe and authentic.

🌱 Reflection Questions

• Where in your life might you be shrinking right now?
• What fears come up when you think about being more visible?
• What is one small step you could take toward expanding this week?
• What values or “why” might support you in showing up more fully?

💬 Notable Moments

• The idea that growth—even positive change—can trigger fear and self-doubt
• A personal example of “shrinking” through avoidance and how awareness shifted action
• Imagining worst-case scenarios as a way to build resilience and confidence
• The reminder that even the most celebrated creators face criticism

⚠️ Disclaimer

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy. If you’re struggling, please consider reaching out to a qualified mental health professional.

💛 Connect & Share

If this episode resonated with you, consider sharing it with someone who might benefit or leaving a review to help others find the show.

🌿 Closing Thought

As you move through your week, gently notice:

Where are you shrinking—and where might you be ready, even just a little, to expand?

When you start making space for what truly matters, difficult emotions often follow.

In this final episode of our March Spring Cleaning the Mind series, Dr. Maria-Christina Stewart and Dr. Danielle Colborn explore what to do when challenging emotions such as fear, shame, anxiety, or self-doubt show up - especially when you’re stepping outside of old patterns and into growth.

These emotions can feel like a signal to stop. But what if they’re not a sign you’re on the wrong path… but simply part of the process?

In this conversation, we walk through practical, compassionate ways to respond to difficult emotions so they don’t derail you from what matters most.

• Why difficult emotions often increase during periods of growth
• The difference between feelings and facts
• How emotions act as messengers—not directives
• A simple, powerful framework: Notice → Label → Validate → Care
• Why naming your emotions can actually help calm your brain
• How to respond to emotions with self-compassion instead of avoidance
• Ways to care for yourself when emotions feel “sticky”
• The connection between love, fear, and vulnerability
• How allowing a full range of emotions leads to a fuller life

Growth isn’t about getting rid of difficult emotions.

It’s about learning how to make space for them—without letting them decide your path.

When a difficult emotion shows up this week, ask yourself:

Can I make space for this feeling—and still take one small step toward what matters?

Next month, we begin a new theme: Coming Out of Hiding

We’ll explore what it means to take up space in your life—through how you show up, how you express yourself, and how you move through the fear of being seen.

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy. If you or someone you know is struggling, please seek professional support.

If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe to our show, leave a review, and share it with someone who might benefit. It helps these conversations reach more people.

In this episode of Selves Unedited, Danielle Colborn and Dr. Maria-Christina Stewart continue their “spring cleaning the mind” series by exploring a form of mental clutter many people quietly carry: persistent thoughts about food, body weight, and shape.

These thoughts can feel overwhelming, convincing, and constant—but what if the goal isn’t to eliminate them, but to change your relationship with them?

Danielle and Maria zoom out to examine how our environments, habits, and internal patterns shape the mental noise we experience. They share practical, compassionate tools to help you step back from unhelpful thoughts, create more mental space, and reconnect with what truly matters.

1. Why you can’t control your thoughts—but you can influence your environment
2. How daily behaviors (like social media use or tracking habits) reinforce mental clutter
3. The hidden impact of avoidance and how it strengthens fear-based thinking
4. Common cognitive distortions (all-or-nothing thinking, mind reading, catastrophizing)
5. Why “fixing” thoughts isn’t always the most effective strategy

1. Set Yourself Up for Success:
2. Take an honest look at your environment—what you consume, who you’re around, and what messages you’re reinforcing daily.
3. Notice Patterns, Not Just Thoughts:
4. Identify recurring thinking styles like extremes or assumptions about others.
5. Externalize the Inner Critic:
6. Give your thoughts a name (e.g., “anxiety mind,” “perfectionist voice”) to create distance and perspective.
7. Practice Detachment Over Debate:
8. Instead of arguing with thoughts, allow them to exist while continuing to live your life.
9. Use Humor as a Tool:
10. Turning harsh thoughts into something playful (like a cartoon voice) can reduce their intensity.
11. Write It Out:
12. Journaling can help you see thoughts more clearly and even “dialogue” with them from a grounded, wise perspective.

1. Mental clutter often reflects what we repeatedly expose ourselves to and practice.
2. You don’t need to eliminate difficult thoughts to feel better.
3. Creating even a little distance from your thoughts can be powerful.
4. Real change happens through both external shifts and internal awareness.
5. With consistent practice, your relationship to your thoughts can change over time.

This podcast is not a substitute for therapy. If you’re struggling, please reach out to a qualified mental health professional.

If this conversation resonated with you, consider leaving a review or sharing it with someone who might benefit. Your support helps more people find these discussions.