Sermons from the Episcopal Church of the Redeemer

There are days when we feel as if we are connected to God

and clear about who we are, our place in the world, and what the world is

doing, and what God is doing in the world. Where we not only are in the light,

but we feel like we are the light. And then there are days when we

are darkness, where we cannot see God's presence, where we do not feel like

being any kind a good. Where we do not even know what good means.

There are days when we know what righteousness looks like

and we are all in on loving and being just and kind in this world. And there

are days when we just wanna wrap ourselves in a blanket and finish that sleeve

of thin mints and say, I just gotta get through We just gotta make it.

And that's the reality for us, I think is less that there is

this moment where we have this, we used to be something and then this big light

shines, and now I understand, and now I live completely differently. I think

most of us don't have that experience. Most of us have moments of light,

moments of clarity, followed by moments of darkness and periods of fear and

uncertainty.

...the reality is, is that God shows up through Christ

and the Spirit to show us that we are a blessing. He has come to heal us and to

reconcile us, and for us to then go and share that hope with the world because

God is with us where we are presently and where we are moving forward. But how

is that possible?

Well, that's where Romans 5 enters in. Before we jump in

to explore the text together, though, I would just like to share a little bit

of my own story with you all, not unlike all of us, I am a makeup of many things

that make me who I am and create my identity. To share a few; I am a father,

I'm a son, I'm a brother.

But also, I am divorced, I'm gay, and I'm a youth minister. So

let me maybe unpack a little bit of that for you. I grew up going to a very

conservative evangelical church. Now, I will not stand up here and say that it

was all bad because I gained a lot of things from my church home. A lot of good

things that have shaped me, informed me, and that have rooted me in the faith

that I have today.

But as you can imagine, there were also things that I

learned growing up that made me question, and really caused harm to me for

things that I came to learn later about myself, specifically regarding my

sexuality. It wasn't until later in high school where I started to even understand

what that looked like, but my foundation had already been laid for me to

question that part of who I was.

If when you see God coming down the lane, you say, here

comes blessing, here comes love. My heart is filled. I can't wait to find out

how I'm loved. That is good and healthy relationship, and you don't have to be

religious to get this because again, you know this in your real friendships and

relationships in your life, you know the people that when they come over, you

don't even care that your house is a mess.

You know those people where you don't even say, I'm sorry,

it's a mess cuz they're just in and they love you and you know it. Are those

the good relationships, the healthy ones, the people who, when you see them,

you see something beautiful and powerful and you recognize how they're loving

this world and the people who make you feel like loving more? That is a good

and healthy relationship.

And what Paul's talking about today is simply howwe have

a good and healthy relationship with the one who made us. We do it first and

foremost by just having the right lens at which we look at God.

Today in Paul's letter to the Romans, we are presented with

two diametrically opposed realities of human life as we know it. On one side,

we have sin brought about by Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden; the wanting to

be like God, knowing good and evil. And we hear that this way brings death. And on the other side, we have Jesus, the pioneer and

perfector of our faith, the giver of grace and life and love. On this side is

life.

For a long time, I viewed these two divergent certainties as separate conundrums

that I myself stood in the middle of and dabbled in each some of the time. But

after years of contending with the two, I realize that they're not actually

separate currencies, but two sides of the same coin.

Two sides of our true human condition, painfully captivated

by revenge, dishonesty, and self-centeredness on the one side, and at the same

time, capable of immeasurable good, and loving kindness and fortitude for the

way ahead. Rooted in our deepest longing to be in loving relationship with our creator.

The truth of who we are is sin and righteousness fused together in form and

function, but wholly committed to different currencies.

Have you ever felt like someone saw you for who you really

were? How beautiful that is to feel that when someone really knows you and sees

your glory, It's overwhelming and beautiful, isn't it? But there's a

difference, of course, between Superman and Jesus. And it's not just that Jesus

isn't a superhero, he's, you know, our Lord and Savior.

It's not just that. The reality is that Superman will never

be one of us no matter how much he disguises himself. His true identity is

other than Us. And so all we can really do is stand back in awe of this

superhero and say, wow, look at those things that he can do. I could never lift

a car above my head. I'm not bulletproof. Isn't that amazing? But Jesus is not

disguising himself as human. Jesus is human. Jesus is one of us. The powerful

thing about Jesus is that he's not God disguising himself as a human to sort of

just make it palatable for us to look at him. Jesus is God completely and

totally connected to humanity, married to us forever, such that when we see

Jesus, we do see the glory of God, but we also see the glory of our own

humanity fully present in that space.

I searched, can the ocean ever run out of salt? It seems

like a ridiculous question or maybe just a rhetorical one. Can the ocean ever

run out of salt? What an absurd thing to wonder. I always get this way in the

dead of winter, the frozen Midwest tundra seems to elicit feelings of

helplessness and heartache for me.

Jesus' words of firing synapse of the taste buds of

humanity, and the blazing presence of collective light, well they seem like a

far off vision in this cold, cold little cave where we hibernate. So can the

ocean ever run out of salt? Can I, in fact, hide the light that is in me? Can I

hold it so tightly in that little squishy spot in my belly where fire rages and

where passion comes from and where disciples long before me have found strength

to preach the Gospel even in the midst of unspeakable violence, exile, and

abandonment.

Can the ocean run out of salt? And can the Christian ever

unknow the glory of God? The God who gives them life.

I showed up to my piano lesson one day, and my teacher could

tell that I was really frustrated. She'd been working with me since I was nine and she could tell that I was very frustrated. She asked, what's wrong? I said, I'll tell you what's wrong. I'm listening to Glen

Gould play this invention and I can't play it like that. And she said, Phil,

he's one of the greatest piano players in the history of piano, no one can play

it like that. Don't do that to yourself.

I said, well, I, if I

can't sound like him when I play this, why play it at all?

I feel like this is how we get when Jesus tells us what it

means to be a disciple. Jesus stands up before us today in the beginning of

what we call his Sermon on the Mount, which in the Gospel according to Matthew,

is the true beginning of his earthly ministry. And these are the very first

words he says. Blessed are the poor in spirit.

He comes in and sits down across the desk from me and he

says, hey, I have got this great plan for your life. I know exactly what you

should be doing from now on. I've got it all worked out. And guess what? You

don't have to worry about the direction of your life anymore. So come on, let's

go. So of course, I get up and I grab my coat and off we go.

It, it's a great, it's a great mental picture and something

we would all want to have happen, to have Jesus actually show up and clearly

tell us what we should be doing, what our purpose in calling is, right? It's

what we would want, right? Isn't it?

Is it though? Because of course, when I really stop to think

about it, maybe it's not what I want. I suspect we all want some level of

plausible deniability in our relationship with Jesus. If we can claim that we

can't really know what Jesus personally wants from us, then it is left up to us

to determine all of that. That feels safer somehow.

One of the most amazing things about crushes is how it's

better off if you don't get to know them at all. As long as someone remains

sort of a mystery and out there in the beyond, you can idealize them. You can

think all sorts of things. They can be all sorts of things for you. Maybe

they've just been just attractive enough to catch your eye and maybe you learn

a couple of things about them, their name, which immediately seems exotic to

you, even if it's a name that 20 people you already know have.

Just a couple of other details and you can start to fill in

this imaginary person and their life and what it might be if the two of you

could actually know each other. You know, of course, what happens when you get

to know a person you have a crush on? It's the best and fastest way to cure the

crush.

Maybe it's not a romantic crush. It could be a professional

crush, someone you've admired for a long time, someone whose accomplishments

you've seen from afar, and you've thought to yourself, I want to be that kind

of rockstar in my profession. I want to be like them. And that's where that old

maxim comes in, Never meet your heroes. Not because your crush or your hero or

the one you admire from afar is actually disappointing in their being. It's

just that they're disappointing because they're actually people and not just

your idea of what a person could be. You've built up the perfect complement to

yourself, and then you're confronted with the reality of their humanity, and it

can be crushing.

Every year, every month, every moment is an opportunity to

be born again. Every time we show up, every time we resist evil, when we repent

and return. Every time we proclaim the Gospel and seek and serve and love. Every

time we strive to be and help others see God's dream for humanity, this is how

we live a baptized life.

Those of us who are already baptized know that it's not

always sunshine and rainbows and puppies. It's just as messy and complicated as

the life we were first born into. Being a Christian doesn't mean that there is

suddenly no pain or fear or struggle. Oftentimes it means we see more of these

things because we're paying attention as we press up against an individualistic

consumer culture.

And if you're human like me, you won't only see more of

them, you will experience them. Our baptismal covenant reminds us that we will

mess up. It supposes we will sin. It says whenever you sin, not if you happen

to sin once or twice in your life.