Title: God's Purpose for Your Marriage

Text: Eph. 5:22-33

1. Your Holiness Is God's Purpose for Your Marriage
   1. 1. We all want to change in some way. Some of these changes are good, others not so good. But the problem with all of them is that they’re not ambitious enough. God offers us something more—much, much more…! We’re God’s glory, displaying His likeness!… There’s nothing ‘only’ about being human: we’re truly human as we reflect God’s glory.        -Tim Chester
      2. Sanctification is glory in the seed, and glory is sanctification in the flower.         -Thomas Watson
      3. Dealing with the sin problem is key to a thriving marriage.      -Dave Harvey
   2. God's Promise of Holiness
   3. God's Power for Holiness
   4. God's Process for Holiness
2. Conflict, Communication, and Holiness
   • We’re all self-obsessed, self-centered, sinful human beings who want the world to revolve around us. Marriage throws two such individuals into close proximity.          -Tim Chester
   • James 4:1-3
   • Love is being lovingly honest and humbly approachable in times of misunderstanding, and being more committed to unity and love than you are to winning, accusing or being right.      -Paul Tripp
   • 1 Peter 4:7
   • Straightforward, clear, and transparent communication that is without manipulation, deceit, or subtext is essential to building a relationship of trust…. Constant conversation is the model each of us needs to pursue in our marriage. There is probably never a day free of the need for us to communicate about something that has happened in us or between us. The commitment to communicate tells your spouse that you love them, that you take your relationship seriously, and that you are committed to being open to examine yourself and willing to change. All these things protect the trust that is growing between you.      -Paul Tripp
   • [L]istening is not about being passive. Listening is an active commitment. In order to hear your spouse well, you have to fight the battle with your self-righteousness, your tendency to excuse what you have done, and your skill at shifting the blame. Listening is something you have to fight to do.        -Paul Tripp
   • Matt. 7:5

Title: Called to Die

Text: Ephesians 5:25-32

1. Husbands Are Called to Die
2. Husbands Earn Trust Like Jesus
   1. Her Life. Not Mine.
      • Trust is the confidence… that [others’] intentions are good, and that there is no reason to be protective or careful around [them]. –Patrick Lencioni
      • A godly man takes the initiative. He takes responsibility in the home, in the church, and in the community.… [T]he husband has the responsibility to take the initiative. That doesn’t mean, of course, that the wife can’t take the initiative. A husband ought to thank his wife when she takes the initiative, but he should feel it as something of a rebuke when she has to take the initiative in areas that should be his responsibility like: Resolving conflict; Ensuring decisions are made in a godly way; Discipling and teaching children. That doesn’t mean he does it all, but he can’t abdicate responsibility to his wife. –Tim Chester
   2. Her Good IS Mine.
      1. So you’re not being a good husband when you simply pursue your own interests, nor when you passively give in to your wife’s wishes. You’re being a good husband when you actively pursue the things that will help your wife blossom and grow. But there’s a big difference between that, and just doing what she likes. At times you’ll need to put your wife’s holiness before her happiness. –Tim Chester
   3. Our Identity. Not Mine.
3. How This Applies…
   1. In Conflict
   2. In Decision-Making
   3. In Parenting