Psychotherapist Esther Perel wrote her first book Mating in Captivity ten years ago. Her second book The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity has just been published. She joins Jenni to hear from Woman's Hour listeners about the challenges they face keeping the sexual spark alive in a long-term relationship and to give advice based on 20 years experience of talking to couples .  Mismatched libidos, pain during intercourse, getting into a routine and what happens to desire when kids come along are some of the issues raised. Is it unrealistic to expect passion in a marriage? Why does the sex seem to go off even in the most loving relationships and does it really matter?  Presenter: Jenni Murray 
Producer: Erin Riley 
Reporter: Abigail Hollick.

Sex in long-term relationships

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26/04/2024

The system of one word ratings for schools in England 'should stay' and has 'significant benefits' according to the government.  It said the grades, such as 'Inadequate', 'requires improvement' 'good' and "outstanding" gave parents an important summary of local schools.  Teaching unions have called for more nuanced ratings  Simon Kidwell  is the President of the school leaders union the NAHT and joins Anita  Rani to explain. The Internet Watch Foundation annual report has said that children under six are being manipulated into “disturbing” acts of sexual abuse while parents think they are playing safely on household devices. They say 2023 was “the most extreme year on record”, finding more than 275,000 webpages containing child sexual abuse with a record amount of “category A” material. IWF’s CEO Susie Hargreaves joins Anita to discuss the report’s findings.   The deaths of 21-year-old Diane Jones and her two young children, in a house fire in October 1995 shocked the community of Merthyr Tydfil. The police originally thought it was an accident - but in the days following the fire launched a triple murder investigation after petrol was found on the carpet. Just months later, Annette was charged with triple murder, manslaughter and arson with intent to endanger life. She was found guilty with the charge of arson and sentenced to 13 years. After two-and-a-half years, her conviction was overturned - but it troubled Annette until her death in 2017.  Annette’s daughter, Nicole Jacob, is delving into her mum’s story in a new podcast, Wrongly Accused: The Annette Hewins Story.   Cassie Werber’s new novel Open Season features a romantic relationship between two couples who are exploring the possibilities of open relationships.  It’s a world that Cassie herself in familiar with in real-life with her husband, and she joins Anita to discuss the inspiration for her book.   Beaux Harris lost her mother, grandmother and aunt to cancers caused by the same gene mutation – called BRCA1.  Two years ago, Beaux discovered she has the same BRCA1 gene mutation. Anita talks to Dany Bell from Macmillan and to Beaux about her story and how she’s now chosen to fundraise to pay for preventative treatment.   Presented by Anita Rani
Producer:  Louise Corley
Studio Engineer:  Bob Nettles

BRCA1, Open relationships, Wrongly Accused: The Annette Hewins Story

The broadcaster Zeinab Badawi joins Krupa Padhy to discuss her first book, An African History of Africa: From the Dawn of Humanity to Independence.  The book has taken her seven years to research, travelling across 30 countries.  She explains how the female African leaders that shaped their countries have often been written out of history.  At the start of the year, acclaimed opera singer Sophie Bevan took to Twitter to ask if other female singers also had voice struggles around the time of their periods. This led to her discovery of premenstrual vocal syndrome, which is when hormone changes cause vocal issues. She talks about the impact this has had on her career, alongside Dr Alan Watson, specialist in the biology of performance at the University of Cardiff. Democrats in the US state of Arizona are attempting to repeal a law from 1864 that bans nearly all abortions. Also the US Supreme Court will hear arguments in an Idaho hospital case, on whether hospitals can override state abortion restrictions in order to save a mother’s life. New York Times correspondent Elizabeth Dias explains how abortion rights are shaping this year’s presidential election and which camp could benefit from the abortion debate.   Presenter: Krupa Padhy
Producer: Olivia Skinner

Zeinab Badawi, Singing and periods, How is the debate over abortion shaping the US election?

Ten Men, A Year of Casual Sex is a new book from the author Kitty Ruskin. It follows a year of her life when she attempts to embody Samantha from Sex and the City and enjoy all the advantages of being young, free and single. As she details 10 men in 10 chapters, the stories range from sexy and funny to at times deeply confronting and violent, including rape. Kitty joins Krupa Padhy to discuss. Today, the government has accepted an amendment to the Victims and Prisoners Bill they say could be a big step forward for rape victims. The amendment will help ensure extra protection for victims’ counselling notes, by raising the threshold that needs to be met for the police to ask for them. It’s something that charities like Rape Crisis and the End Violence Against Women Coalition have been campaigning for. Joining Krupa is Baroness Gabby Bertin, the Conservative peer who tabled the amendment. According to new research, people who are 65 think that old age begins just before you turn 75. However, 74-year-olds think old age starts at 77. Women think old age starts later than men do. So when are you 'old' and what does 'old' mean? Krupa speaks to Steph Daniels who re-joined her local hockey team at 75, after a 40-year gap, and has just started managing a band again. ARFID stands for Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder. Commonly underdiagnosed as picky eating, we’ll hear how the eating disorder manifests in children and what it’s like for parents. Krupa speaks to a mother, Lisa Hale, whose son has the condition and Professor Sandeep Ranote, Clinical Spokesperson for the eating disorders charity BEAT. An adaption of Muriel Spark’s novel The Girls of Slender Means is currently on at The Royal Lyceum Theatre in Edinburgh. Set in the summer of 1945, it follows the adventures of a group of young women who are caught between hope and unhappiness. As each girl grapples with what happened in the war, they begin to imagine what lies ahead of them in peacetime. Actress and writer Gabriel Quigley tells Krupa how she felt adapting the words of one of the greatest British novelists.

Kitty Ruskin's year of casual sex, The Girls of Slender Means, ARFID

The Kenyan distance runner Peres Jepchirchir won yesterday’s elite women's London Marathon, breaking the women’s only record with her time of 2:16:16. She beat the previous record set in 2017 of 2:17:01. This was the fastest time in a race without male pace makers. More than 50,000 people ran and some gave themselves an even bigger challenge than just running the course. Laura Bird from St Ives in Cambridgeshire ran with a fridge strapped to her back - aiming to earn a place in the Guinness Book of Records. Peres and Laura both join Krupa Padhy. Rhianon Bragg spoke to Woman’s Hour back in February about her concerns for her safety regarding the imminent release of her ex-boyfriend from prison, despite the fact that a Parole Board ruled a few months earlier that such a move would not be safe. In February 2020, Gareth Wynn Jones was given an extended determinate sentence of 4.5 years in prison, with an extended licence period of five years for the crimes of stalking, false imprisonment, making threats to kill and possession of a firearm. Now two months since his release and coinciding with National Stalking Awareness Week, we hear from Rhianon and also Emily Lingley Clark of the Suzy Lamplugh Trust. Taylor Swift’s latest album, The Tortured Poets Department, has just been released. We thought it was a great excuse to look at the female poets, past and present, who could be considered ‘tortured’… Or is it more of a male trope? Classicist and author of Devine Might, Natalie Haynes, and Irish Indian poet Nikita Gill discuss. A BBC investigation has traced how a deadly form of synthetic drugs have been getting into the UK from China - and exposed the role of major social media platforms. Nitazenes, which are illegal in the UK, have been linked to more than 100 deaths in England and Wales since June 2023. We hear from Claire Rocha, whose son died after taking drugs unknowingly laced with Nitazene, and Caroline Copeland, a senior lecturer in toxicology and pharmacology at King’s College London. Presenter: Krupa Padhy
Producer: Kirsty Starkey
Studio Manager: Emma Harth

Sex in long-term relationships

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