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Even when we are attending adult events professionally to discuss STI testing, sexual health, and public health policy, something surprising still happens.

Anna gets grabbed.

Butt slapped. Breasts touched. Boundaries crossed.

Sometimes in subtle ways. Sometimes in ways that are not subtle at all.

Why does this still happen in sex positive spaces where everyone claims to understand consent?

Today we unpack explicit verbal consent and examine whether popular frameworks like the F.R.I.E.S. model are actually practical in real world social settings.

FRIES stands for Freely given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, and Specific. It is widely taught in college campuses, kink communities, and sex education programs. But is it simple enough for people who believe they are already “good at consent”?

Here is the uncomfortable truth.

Most people believe they are masters at reading body language. Most people believe they are respectful. Most people believe they would never cross a line.

And yet lines keep getting crossed.

In this episode we discuss:

• Why consent violations still happen in sex positive communities
• The limits of enthusiastic consent in fast moving social environments
• The difference between explicit verbal consent and contextual consent
• Why being “experienced” does not mean being careful
• Whether frameworks like FRIES, RACK, and SSC actually translate to casual adult events
• Why professional environments do not magically create safer spaces

This is not an anti consent episode.

It is a realistic discussion about human behavior, ego, overconfidence, and the gap between theory and practice.

If you have ever thought, “I would never do that,” this episode is for you.

Because here is the kicker.

Everyone thinks they are good at consent.

Including you.

Sex is good. Fear-based sex education is not.

In this episode, we take an honest, evidence-based look at HIV transmission — what your real risk actually is, how it’s measured, and why it’s often dramatically misunderstood.

We break down:

• Per-act HIV transmission rates (vaginal, anal, oral)
• Why receptive anal sex carries higher risk — and what that actually means numerically
• What U=U (Undetectable = Untransmittable) truly means
• How viral load changes risk
• How PrEP reduces transmission
• Where DoxyPEP fits — and where it doesn’t
• Why panic often spreads faster than the virus

HIV is serious. It is also manageable, preventable, and in many contexts, far less transmissible than most people assume.

Understanding risk doesn’t encourage recklessness. It reduces stigma. It reduces fear. And it allows adults to make informed decisions about their bodies and relationships.

Sex is good. Let’s talk about it like adults.

The more things change, the more they stay the same — and Valentine’s Day has always been about sex.

Long before heart-shaped chocolates and prix-fixe dinners, Valentine’s Day involved nearly naked young Roman men running through the streets and whipping women with goat skins to promote fertility. And yes — women lined up for it.

In this episode, the Sex Is Good podcast team dives into the sexy, strange, and unapologetically spicy history of Valentine’s Day, separating romantic myth from biological reality and cultural truth.

If you’re smart enough to listen to a science-based podcast about sex, you’re also smart enough to avoid subscription traps, poor customer service, and incomplete STI testing.

Take care of your sexual health — without the nonsense — at www.shamelesscare.com.

Erections aren’t always a blood flow problem.

In this episode, we break down apomorphine, an ED medication that works in the brain, not the penis. Unlike sildenafil or tadalafil, apomorphine targets dopamine pathways involved in sexual arousal, motivation, and performance anxiety.

Rugiet has been advertised apomorphine a lot, but is it safe? Is it effective? 

Wasn't it used to induce vomiting? Can it really be used for erectile dysfunction?

We explain how and why apomorphine works, who it’s actually for, how it differs from traditional ED medications, and why combining central and peripheral treatments can make a real difference for some men. 

BDSM is one of the most misunderstood areas of human sexuality. For many people, it’s assumed to be dangerous, pathological, or a sign that something is “wrong.” The psychology tells a very different story.

In this episode, we’re joined by certified sex therapist Dr. Stephanie Sigler to unpack what actually happens in the brain during consensual power exchange, why trust and communication are central to BDSM, and how these dynamics can be psychologically healthy for many people.

Bremelanotide, also known as PT-141, is one of the most misunderstood sexual health medications available today, and it has one of the strangest origin stories in modern medicine. It was originally studied as a tanning drug, but researchers noticed an unexpected side effect—spontaneous erections. That discovery led scientists to remove the skin-darkening component, resulting in bremelanotide as we know it today.

In this episode, we explain how PT-141 works on the brain rather than blood flow, why it’s considered an option for psychogenic erectile dysfunction in men, and why the same medication is used to increase sexual arousal in women. We break down what it does, what it doesn’t do, common misconceptions, and how it fits into a more honest conversation about desire, arousal, and sexual health.

That’s the short version. The full story is more nuanced, more interesting, and challenges a lot of what people think they know about ED meds and libido. To understand why bremelanotide works so differently—and who it may actually be appropriate for—you’ll have to listen to the episode.

Hedonism II is a resort in Jamaica that’s split between two worlds: half clothing-optional, half nude-mandatory. It’s a place intentionally designed for adults who want freedom, curiosity, and connection without judgment.

Yes, people can have sex under the moon and stars. But they can also spend the day by the pool, dance all night long, and end up talking to a stranger in a hot tub at 4 a.m. who somehow feels like an old friend. The energy moves easily between playful, intimate, social, and surprisingly normal.

To separate myth from reality, we’re joined by the hosts of the Casual Swingers podcast, a couple who have been to Hedonism II more than 70 times. They aren’t marketers or first-timers chasing shock value. They’re regular people who keep coming back and have seen just about every version of the resort there is.

They explain what “casual” actually means in this context, how consent and boundaries work in real life, what newcomers tend to misunderstand, and why Hedonism II is far less about pressure or performance than outsiders assume. For some guests it’s a once-in-a-lifetime experience. For others, it becomes a place of community, freedom, and familiarity that’s hard to find anywhere else.

Addyi was marketed as a breakthrough. But is one additional satisfying sexual experience per month, on average, worth abstaining from alcohol and accepting the risk of meaningful side effects? That question sits at the center of a drug that genuinely helps some people, while confusing and disappointing many others.

In this episode, we break down what Addyi actually is, what the clinical trials showed, why FDA approval was so controversial, and who this medication may or may not make sense for in real world practice. We also explore why treating desire pharmacologically is far more complicated than treating erections, and why comparisons to Viagra have always fallen short.

If you have ever wondered why Addyi inspires both hope and skepticism, this episode explains why.

www.shamelesscare.com is your go to for all your prescription sexual health needs. Use coupon code podcast for $15 off today. No subscriptions - ever! 

Chlamydia has been around far longer than most people realize, long before antibiotics, modern testing, or even a clear understanding of what it was. In this episode, we walk through the surprisingly fascinating history of chlamydia, how it was misunderstood for centuries, how it was finally identified, and why those early blind spots still affect STI testing and diagnosis today.

This isn’t a scare tactic and it’s not a moral lecture. It’s a look at how medicine actually evolves, how “common and treatable” doesn’t always mean “harmless,” and why chlamydia continues to be one of the most frequently missed and misunderstood infections in sexual health.

If you’ve ever wondered why chlamydia is so common, why so many people have no symptoms, or why testing still fails people in very predictable ways, this episode will connect some dots.

Yes, really. It’s fascinating.

Everyone knows that oral sex can cause cancer, but what kind? And is there a test for it? 

Trigger warning: Cancer

Robert got a bit emotional at the beginning of this one. Cancer is a scary word. 

HPV is one of the most common viruses on earth—and the leading cause of oropharyngeal cancer. 

In this episode, we break down the link between HPV-16 and oropharyngeal squamous cell carcinoma (OPSCC). We’ll explain how many people carry oral HPV, how many carry HPV-16 specifically, and why there’s no screening test for OPSCC. More importantly, we’ll explain why there’s no screening: not because the system doesn’t care, but because science hasn’t shown it helps.

We also tackle the question everyone asks: is there a test? And if not, why not? The short answer: no, there’s no screening test for oral HPV that’s been shown to prevent cancer or save lives. Nor is there a screening test for OPSCC. And it’s not because the healthcare system is asleep at the wheel. 

At Shameless Care, our job is simple: we find credible information and share it with you. Nothing in this episode is our personal opinion. Everything we discuss is based on published guidance and data from trusted sources like the National Cancer Institute, Oral Cancer Foundation, ASCCP, the American Academy of Family Physicians, the United States Preventive Services Task Force, the CDC, and others.

This is what we mean when we say “evidence-based education” and “evidence-based care.” So if this episode sparks strong feelings, please understand—we didn’t create these positions. We’re simply walking you through what the science currently says.