By Alexandra Harbushka: Real World Woman, Entrepreneur, Daughter and a Lover
The podcast currently has 110 episodes available.
The Sex, Money, and Food Podcast
110: 8 Strategies to an Ecstatic Workday
Welcome to this edition of The Sex, Money and Food podcast! Today’s show is about how to be ecstatic at work, even if you don’t like your job. Frankly, we all have parts of our jobs we don’t like - there are even parts of doing this podcast that I don’t like!
But there are ways we can make our work and our time spent working more enjoyable. I’ll give you my 8 recommendations for making the most of your job, no matter what. Listen in for all 8 on episode 110 of the Sex, Money and Food podcast!
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Even though we all have days we don't like our job or the work we do, there are ways to make it more pleasurable. We can even be ecstatic in our work life by making little changes to our routine and to our mindset.
Whether we enjoy working or not comes down to mindset: do we perceive our work day as boring or stimulating and challenging? Below are my top 8 tips to help you stay stimulated and positively engaged during your day and avoid burnout.
Do you have that dress that makes you that "it girl" at the bar? We all do! I'm not saying to wear it to work, but if you are wearing sweats you act like you are wearing sweats. When you're dressed up you stand up straighter, and more confident. Dress how you want to feel: comfortable? smart? powerful? confident? Define how you want to feel it and create the outfit that reflects that, then wear it.
Pack something that nourishes your body and makes you feel good, and is good for you. Make your snacks and your lunch something you look forward to having! Eat something that gives you pleasure, it will recharge your internal battery.
I set a timer for 50 minutes when I start a task, and chances are I get it done in those 50 minutes! If I'm close I might keep going but usually, I finish within that time period. Or at the end of the 50 minutes, I decide I need a break; I give myself a dance party break, or I take a walk around the block or hop on Facebook.
Dress it up - add flowers, add pictures of your favorites like your family, your lover, your pet, etc. Don't clutter it up but make it yours and make it a space you like to be in.
Nothing feels better than giving a compliment to someone. Do you love someone's outfit or what they said in the meeting? Let them know. Giving praise goes far and is good for both of you.
When you accomplish something give yourself a "high five" or take a victory lap around the office. Or give yourself a gold star like you did when you got an "A" in grade school! Whatever it is be sure it is something that makes you feel good. Keep track of your accomplishments.
Maybe you need to cut back and you are in the burned out phase, so you need to leave early and take care of yourself. It's not an excuse to ditch early for happy hour with your girlfriends! This is about doing some other form of self-care to replenish yourself when you're nearing the burn out stage.
Wondering what #8 is? You’ll have to listen or watch the episode to find out. Be sure you do, it’s a good one. Then let me know how the 8 tips from episode 110 of the Sex, Money and Food podcast have worked for you!
Tweetable: “Keep track of your accomplishments!” - Alexandra Harbushka
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Welcome to this edition of The Sex, Money and Food podcast! Today our guest is the one and only Adam Urbanski. Adam is known far and wide for his Millionaire Marketing Mentor business, but he’s also a father, husband and Spartan Race enthusiast!
On this edition of the show we’re talking about Adam’s immigration from Poland to America, how he proposed to his wife the first night he met her and the three steps to becoming successful. Get ready to learn and laugh about those topics and more on today’s show!
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About the time the Berlin Wall was coming down, Adam was about to become a legal adult. In Poland, at that time, if you were turning 18 you had to take exams to get into college. If you didn’t pass you were automatically drafted into the Polish military. Adam knew he’d never make it as a soldier so when he didn’t pass his exam, he came up with a plan to get to the US.
In Poland also at this time it often took up to a year just to get an interview at the US embassy with the consult and apply for a Visa. He knew he didn't have a year, he'd be drafted into the military by then so he decided to go to Austria because it was easier to get a visa to go there.
From Austria he would go to the Canadian embassy, thinking the Canadians would welcome him! From Canada he thought it'd be easy to get into the US. Well he got to Austria but missed his appointment at the embassy and went back to Poland.
Once back in Poland he thought he'd try his luck at the American embassy, so he got on a train to Warsaw. When he arrived in Warsaw he made his way to the embassy and saw there were no people in line - when normally there is an incredibly long line every day.
It was an American holiday - Thanksgiving - and everyone thought the embassy would not be open. But they did open from 10 til 2 so he showed up and was inside 30 minutes later. He was interviewed, and convinced them to give him his visa! He got a two-way ticket, with a six month open window to return.
Once he made it to America, he tore up that second half of his ticket so there was no going back. It was his first night in America and he was determined he was going to succeed - even though he had little money, no job prospects and didn’t speak English!
As you might imagine, Adam has done just that. He’s taught himself English, and learned everything he could about business and marketing. He also met the love of his life along the way.
In fact, he met his wife not long after he arrived in the US. He spotted her on a subway train and she eyed him as well. He got off at her stop, cobbled together enough English to ask her a cigarette (they both smoked at the time) and walked her back to her apartment. He proposed that night - telling her they’d have two beautiful daughters and live happily ever after!
She laughed at him, but she gave him her phone number. And 25 years later they are still together, with those two beautiful daughters he promised her. Today they have one of the greatest, most fulfilling relationships: they totally "get" each other in business, in partnership, in romance, in friendship and in the bedroom.
Join us as Adam explains why it hasn’t been all “rainbows and kittens” throughout their 25 years together. He talks openly about their separation a few years ago, and why it’s all been worth it no matter what challenges they have faced.
We also talk about his business, the Millionaire Marketing Mentor, and the three steps he followed to success. The first step is to anoint yourself as the best at what you do, next you work your butt off to deserve the title and finally you keep working at it for 20 years til everyone else calls you the best too!
Listen in for that and more with Adam Urbanski on today’s 109th edition of the Sex, Money and Food podcast!
Adam Answers The Questions
I’d have to say sex, money then food. I don’t quite get the food thing! It’s not high on the priority list. (Adam asks me this question too!)
Tweetable: “Your business will only grow as fast as you grow !” - Adam Urbanski
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Welcome to this edition of The Sex, Money and Food podcast! Do you have a mental list of foods you should and should not eat? Most of us do. In today’s episode, we’re focusing on what happens when you restrict the food you eat, and why it’s not a healthy approach.
We take a deeper look at why you have that list of should and shouldn’t eat foods, how binge eating starts and how to let go of restrictions to create a healthier relationship with food. Find out about all of that and more on the 108th edition of Sex, Money and Food!
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Most of crave different foods. For some of us we want salty before our periods, some of us want chocolate and sugar. And many of us deny ourselves those cravings because we believe it’s wrong to eat them, or we eat them and then feel ashamed after we do.
When it comes to our relationship with food, especially our cravings, there’s usually something deeper than just how they taste. It’s often tied to a binge-eating/restriction dynamic we’ve created for ourselves. We tell ourselves not to eat something and withhold it, only to later binge on it when we can no longer deny our cravings.
Personally I can relate. In high school I was a cheerleader and we would go to Islands before cheering. We went there to get their cheese fries - and we would get them with extra cheese!
Around this time I had gone on birth control and it completely changed my body. I had put on 20 pounds, which is a lot for anyone but even more so for me since I'm only 5'4"!
So instead of eating cheese fries with the other cheerleaders I decided to have a latte for breakfast, skip the cheese fries and go to Ralph's (a grocery store) to buy carrots and fat-free ranch dressing to eat. And that’s what I did: I brought my ranch and my carrots to Islands!
But then I would realize I wasn’t being filled up by my carrots and I wouldn’t have the energy to cheer if I didn’t eat more. So then I would binge-eat the fries, usually consuming 1.5 orders’ worth.
Whether it was cheese fries or something else, most of us have a similar story of starving ourselves only to binge eat later. As a result we create a love/hate relationship with food. We teach ourselves to obsess over it and start a rollercoaster ride of starving, binge-eating and/or emotional eating. I did it, and I did it for 10-15 years.
Do you still have this kind of mental/emotional relationship with food? Do you still have some kind of restriction on certain foods? Most of us still have some type of “should” and “should not” list of foods in our minds. Having that list gets in the way of enjoying food today and it stops us from allowing food to do what it is supposed to do: nourish our bodies.
In fact, we become overfed and undernourished. Ideally we get our nourishment from foods that are grown: plants and from the ground, fruits from bushes and trees, and humanely-raised animals.
When you see today’s episode can you allow it to help you look at your own food stories? What is it you tell yourself you cannot have: fries, cake, chocolate, alcohol? Then look at how those stories play games with your mind and how they make you a prisoner. Those stories take away from what should be a pleasurable experience.
Also on this edition of Sex, Money and Food I share why I don't weigh myself very often any longer, and how any weight fluctuation would've destroyed me in the past but not today. Tune in and let me know if you can relate to episode 108 of Sex, Money and Food!
Tweetable: “Food is meant to nourish our bodies!” - Alexandra Harbushka
Episode Resources
www.alexandraharbushka.com
Leave a review: http://bit.ly/ReviewSexMoneyandFood
PSST. I will be reading your reviews in an upcoming episode so if you have any questions ask away :-)
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Welcome to this of The Sex, Money and Food podcast! When you hear the words postpartum what first comes to mind? Depression, right? In our culture we only think of postpartum as post-partum depression, but it actually means the period of time after a mom has given birth.
On episode 107 of Sex, Money and Food we are joined by Kimberly Johnson to talk about this very topic. Kimberly is a certified sexological bodyworker, doula, Somatic Experiencing trauma resolution practitioner and postpartum care advocate.
Today she explains what needs to happen for a woman during post-partum so she maintains lifelong health, how we can support other women and what it means to be a certified sexological worker. This is a fascinating conversation so be sure to join us on the 107th edition of Sex, Money and Food!
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The first thing Kimberly and I talk about it is what it means to be a certified sexological worker. She explains that it is someone who can legally work with someone’s genitals during body work. Normally those areas aren't included, they are covered up and tucked away from sight. Doing so sends messages to us that those parts of ourselves are shameful or separate in some way.
However sexological bodywork says those areas are parts of our bodies that need attention too. In fact, those areas may need more attention because of the labels, experiences and misunderstandings our genitals experience, yet never process and integrate.
She goes on to explain that this type of work looks different depending on the person's needs. Some workers specialize in more daoist/erotic massage, some specialize in scar tissue remediation, and some in arousal.
We also discuss what trauma is exactly and why humans carry it but wild animals don’t. But the heart of today’s interview is postpartum and how this time in a woman’s life can be fully experienced to support her long-term health throughout the rest of her life and what we can do in a culture that doesn’t acknowledge the slowing down necessitated by postpartum.
In essence, if you've ever had a baby you've been through post-partum. Post-partum is just the period after you have a baby. Cultures around the world acknowledge a period between 20-60 days after a baby’s birth that is considered a sacred window.
During this time if women are properly nurtured and supported they will return to optimal health. But if they are not well taken care of, if they don't eat the right foods and aren't allowed to properly rest and that rest period isn't honored, then disease will set in and it will be difficult to get rid of.
Kimberly explains that this is a time when as much as a mother gives to an infant she needs to receive that equally. She is giving loving touch, nourishing food, contact, spiritual companionship to her baby and she needs that in return. If she doesn't receive this treatment it becomes dysfunction like depression, anxiety, and other illnesses.
And it’s difficult for women to get this type of support in our culture. We celebrate and glorify women being super woman. We don't acknowledge that postpartum is a completely different time in a woman's life and should be lived as such. However if a woman doesn’t or can’t experience a healthy post-partum time in her life then her
long-term health isn't going to be good.
And just because someone looks like they are healthy - doing headstands two weeks after their baby is born for example - doesn't mean it isn't damaging them internally. A lot of people exercise at such a high level because their anxiety levels are so high they must have physical activity to bring their system down.
Our lives have become so sedentary that our exercise is becoming more high impact. Instead we should aim for finding a balance of being on our feet and sitting down, walking a few miles leisurely or walking to and from places rather than just our cars.
Our entire culture needs to know this, not just women. We can help facilitate a healthy postpartum for the women in our lives by dropping by to check on the new moms, doing the dishes for her, and bringing her nourishing and healthy foods. We can ooh and ahh over the new baby of course but it’s important we remember to make sure the new mom is getting what she needs nutritionally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.
We wrap up today’s show by talking about why people get depressed during postpartum, why there's so much trauma in birth today and how to recover from it so we all have health for the long-term. Find out about all of that and much more on this episode of Sex, Money and Food with Kimberly Johnson!
Kimberly Answers the Questions
Q: Rank the following in order: sex, money, food.
A: Oh wow! It kind of depends but I guess I’d go sex, food then money.
Tweetable: “Trauma is just an incomplete cycle in your nervous system.” - Kimberly Johnson
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106: The Heroine’s Journey with Alexandra Harbushka
Slaying dragons, important goals and femininity
Welcome to this of The Sex, Money and Food podcast! Are you familiar with the hero’s journey? Do you know why going on this journey as a feminine woman will leave you exhausted and disappointed at its end?
Today we’re going to find out as we talk about how to go on your own heroine’s journey and what makes the two different. Check it out on episode 106 of Sex, Money and Food!
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Let's start by talking about being a hero: when I say hero what do you think of? Do you think of the white knight slaying dragons, capturing things on a treacherous solo journey?
Something like that is what most of us think of, but that’s a masculine approach. We as
feminine women are not meant to follow that path. We're not meant to stay up for two weeks straight with no food, no sleep while we save the world by ourselves!
In real life that looks like attaching our happiness to an outside outcome like getting a certain job or career status, finding the perfect guy, getting married, buying a house and having a family. We tell ourselves we will be happy when we have one, some or all of the above. And we set ourselves up for disappointment with that approach.
Because we've made our happiness contingent on something "out there" even when we do achieve that external thing we are not happy and fulfilled. Why is that? Because we have missed the journey along the way, which is where our true joy lies.
When we go on the heroine’s journey instead we experience the entire process: the excitement, the happiness, the laughter, and the tears along the way. We are wired to create an emotional relationship with the people around us, those people who are a part of our journey.
When we stop trying to be a hero and are allowed to be a heroine we become powerful and dynamic. We can move mountains being the heroines we truly are! That is our ancestry and our lineage: we are gatherers who gather together on the journey.
However society has told us that the hero's journey is the way to success. The truth is even if we follow that hero’s path and we reach our goals, we are too tired to enjoy them at the end of our journey. We are left feeling empty and disappointed because we’ve missed the process and the experience.
I bring this topic up on today’s show because I wanted to share it with you as food for thought. So what do you think? Have you ever gone after a goal and reached it, only to feel empty or even resentful when you got there?
On this episode, I also explain why there’s nothing wrong with having goals and ambitions, and I share a personal, wonderful surprise at the very end! Watch and listen to this episode of Sex, Money and Food to hear all of that and so much more. Thanks for being on this journey with me!
Tweetable: "Enjoy the journey you have, enjoy your story." - Alexandra Harbushka
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Welcome to this of The Sex, Money and Food podcast! Do you see a connection between emotional IQ and playing poker professionally? There is a link and our guest has found it. Kristy Arnett is an emotional intelligence (EQ) coach and a professional poker player.
Today she joins us to talk about that link, how she utilizes her ability to read others and their ability to read her and how she coaches people on taking calculated risks in their lives to achieve the dreams they desire most. Listen in for that and more on episode 105 of Sex, Money and Food.
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Kristy Arnett got into poker back in 2003, about the same time so many others did either playing at home or playing online. She’s always been competitive so when the guys on her college soccer team started playing she joined them, which is also how she met her husband.
In her senior year of college they moved to Vegas and she began reporting on soccer and then playing professionally. Today she plays professionally while also being an EQ coach, a writer and a podcaster.
On this episode she discloses her ninja trick: she knows while she's reading other poker players they are reading her! Her talent is a combination of reading people, being aware of how people perceive her along playing for more than a decade and working hard at the game. She also remains a student and is always learning and staying ahead of the curve.
One of the biggest lessons she learned wasn’t at the poker table however, it was in her marriage. When they met he was 22, and she was 19. They’ve now been together for 12 years, and have grown up together. They’ve also changed a lot in that time.
But there came a moment when it wasn’t working, for either of them. She says we all have moments in our lives when we get feedback and she got feedback that her husband wasn't happy in their marriage. She admits she was blind to a lot of things and ignored a lot of things.
When she found out he had had an affair she knew it was a chance for her to look around at what she had created, and assess what she really wanted out of her life and her marriage. She had to figure out how to be the person she wanted and needed to be to crawl out of that devastating situation.
The first thing that moved her healing along was when she asked herself how can I take responsibility here? While that may seem counterintuitive and perhaps even controversial, it was the question that opened up an opportunity for both of them to heal.
She knew she could blame him for all of it and take all the victimhood and the attention that goes along with it, but she knew the way to freedom in any situation is to ask how can I take responsibility for what has happened, even if it’s just a little bit of responsibility?
When she did that it started her road to healing and freedom; she could see clearly how she had contributed.
For a long time he suffered from depression and she was so removed from vulnerability or softness that she didn't know how to be there for him. She grew up with a “tiger mom” who didn't give hugs and didn't talk about feelings.
So when her husband repeatedly told her he felt like she never listened to him she would be defensive and push him away and make him feel wrong.
As soon as she understood her part and took responsibility, they were able to have an open dialogue and talk about their future together. Doing so allowed them both to forgive themselves and each other, to start the healing process.
Today she's grateful for taking responsibility in that experience because it's helped them to change the course of their marriage and their lives together. It brought everything up in a way so that they had nothing to lose. They were able to get everything out in the open. Their relationship is in an even better place now and she's a better person for having been through that.
On this episode she explains why there is so much possibility and opportunity in any devastating moment, why we must always remember our partner is choosing us and we are choosing them, even in a marriage.
We lighten up the discussion by also talking about playing professional poker and how it's like the stock market; Kristy explains how she knows what she's earning and the work she does to prepare for playing. And she describes the audio guide meant to be a tool to use when you're stuck, and how you can get it for free. Watch, listen and learn on today’s Sex, Money and Food episode with Kristy Arnett!
Tweetable: “In any devastating moment there is possibility.” - Kristy Arnett
Kristy Answers The Questions
Q: Rank the following in order: Sex, Money, Food?
A: I knew you’d ask that and I knew it’d be an in-the-moment answer. It’s sex, food then money. The reason sex is on the table right now is my husband and I are trying to make a baby, and it’s that time if you know what I mean!
Q: There is nothing better in life than…
A: Love! Everything that is worth having, everything that is worth working for is an extension of ourselves looking to be loved and looking to love people.
Q: What does “reading people” smell like to you?
A: Oh! That’s a really great question because there’s something so succulent about being able to read someone and to know what they are saying without them saying it. I guess if you’re asking for an actual smell one of the most succulent smells is a sizzling steak.
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Detoxing, Juices, and Yoga with Alexandra Harbushka
Welcome to this of The Sex, Money and Food podcast! If I say detox what comes to mind? Do you think of feeling lighter, healthier and more energized? Or do you immediately think of depriving yourself?
On episode 104 of the Sex, Money and Food podcast I’m talking about how we can detox without feeling deprived or restricted. I’ll share some simple things you can add to your life and things you can temporarily give up to make yourself healthier. Listen in for that and more on today’s show!
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Recently I started thinking about the subject of detoxing because it’s spring. Spring means spring cleaning, removing clutter and cleaning house from top to bottom. I wondered if we could apply this to our health too: can we spring clean our food and our bodies?
But before you start thinking about pills, juices, diets or anything else that equals permanent restriction stop yourself! What I'm talking about today is detoxing without restrictions.
What are things you can remove temporarily or add that will enhance your body and allow it to detox? How can you spring clean your body?
Some of the ways you can do this are by removing sugar, soy, dairy, alcohol, gluten, caffeine, and any other food sensitivities you have.
But I'm not talking about giving these up permanently, just taking some time for your body to rest. For example I found that I process alcohol at 50% so every now and then I will give up drinking for a few days. That allows my body to release the alcohol and detox.
So think of what you can take out for 3 days, 5 days, two weeks - and then do it.
What about sugar? Today we know sugar is incredibly addictive and unhealthy, so can you take out white sugar for a week? Focus on only having fruit or honey, and giving up cookies, cakes, and other sugary-based foods.
I know this is so beneficial because a few years ago I gave up dairy. It was one of the hardest, but also one of the best things I have ever done for myself. Now I eat it occasionally. If I go to someone's house and they offer me something with dairy I will eat it, but otherwise I eat it every few months at the most.
You don't have to go to that extent, just try omitting something from your diet for a few days or a week and see how you feel. Chances are if you feel better without it you won't want to put it back into your diet!
There are other things you can add to your lifestyle that will help you detox. Drink more water. As obvious as that sounds very few of us drink enough water. Add some lemon to it, lemon adds acidity which will help your body maintain a proper pH balance.
Also on today’s episode I explain how going to bed earlier is something you can add to your diet, along with epsom salt baths and choosing more natural makeup and cleaning products. And I wrap up with why I gave up anti-perspirants 10 years ago, and it’s a healthy thing to do for your body. You’ll hear that and more on episode 104 of the Sex, Money and Food show!
Tweetable: “Add to your body so it can detox naturally.” - Alexandra Harbushka
Episode Resources
www.alexandraharbushka.com
Leave a review: http://bit.ly/ReviewSexMoneyandFood
PSST. I will be reading your reviews in an upcoming episode so if you have any questions ask away :-)
Welcome to this of The Sex, Money and Food podcast! When it comes to money sometimes we bury our heads in the sand; it just seems like too much to deal with so we avoid it.
On this edition of the Sex, Money, and Food Podcast, we’re getting out of that sand and into a fun, lively and engaging discussion about money with Justin Krane. Justin is money savvy, and he believes in living a life you enjoy - not skipping that latte so you can be a gazillionaire at 80!
Tune in to hear how you can actually enjoy talking about and dealing with your money, no matter where you are financially.
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Justin Krane is a certified financial planner who has been featured on CBS, MSNBC and Fox Business News. He’s also written a book called Money. You Got This; if you combined Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm and money you’d have a taste of what Justin’s book is like!
In his work, Justin primarily focuses on helping entrepreneurial women and female business owners be strategic about their finances. He believes in saving for the future but still living a great life today - having your latte, buying those great shoes, etc.
On today’s Sex, Money and Food we talk about goosebump goals (what they are and why you want them), how and why to start tracking numbers even if you think you can’t or haven’t done it before, and the exact steps you can take to start handling your money right now no matter what your financial situation looks like.
Justin’s avatar is the female entrepreneur or small business owner. Her name is Rachel and she’s flying by the seat of her pants. In fact, she’s building that plane that is flying her as she goes along!
She doesn't have a plan of what to do with the money when it comes in and she's guessing on her numbers. She is aware and feels bad about not doing more in this area, but she keeps her head in the sand until suddenly her friend gets breast cancer. In that instant, everything changes for her.
She realizes she has got to take care of her money because if she don't deal with it then her money is going to deal with her.
That’s where Justin comes in. He helps her avoid shutting down about her finances, like she has in the past. He makes the process much simpler and more approachable for her. He also makes sure she doesn’t feel terrible for where she is, he shows her things are always possible no matter what.
Tweetable: “You have to put your oxygen mask on first.” - Justin Krane
Here is how he recommends getting started:
First, have a glass of wine!
Chill out and take the edge off of the experience. Don’t let yourself get wigged out, have a glass of wine or a cup of coffee/tea/green juice.
Second, get your head out of the sand!
It’s okay you put it there in the first place but now is the time to get out and get on with things. You can’t move ahead if you don’t know where you are right now; when you get your head out of the sand you can see where you are right now and create a path to moving forward.
Third, pay yourself first.
Are you doing this? When money comes in take a certain percentage and put it into a different account. This should be between 10-30%. 10% would be for an emergency fund so we don't have to do things because we need the money.
The other 20% is for you have to pay taxes. Most accountants will say to set aside 15-20% of your sales for taxes because this helps you avoid getting a big financial surprise! It also keeps you out of the poverty/lack mindset where we are afraid to take the right risks and grow.
On this episode, he explains what the right risks are and how you know whether to take them or not. We also talk about goosebump goals and why they are better than SMART goals! Goosebump goals are the things that get you excited, it could be buying a home or taking that trip you’ve always wanted to take, etc. If you have a spouse be sure you talk about your goosebump goals and your money with him or her.
To wrap up the show, Justin shares why he hates it when personal finance gurus tell people not to buy their daily coffee and I candidly share how I have learned to ask for help in my business and in my life. Get your notebooks out because you’ll hear all of that and more on this edition of Sex, Money and Food with Justin Krane!
Justin Answers The Questions
Q: Rank the following in order: Sex, Money, Food?
A: I’m going to go with sex and love as my own co-mingled #1, then food and money is third.
Q: There is nothing better in life than…
A: I think a great day that’s like exercise, a great meal, meditating or a nap and then a cool movie.
Q: What does “money” smell like to you?
A: Initially it’s that dollar bill smell, it’s not a great smell. It’s a little like moldy! I think it’s not a great smell, but we hardly use cash anymore.
Episode Resources
www.alexandraharbushka.com
Leave a review: http://bit.ly/ReviewSexMoneyandFood
PSST. I will be reading your reviews in an upcoming episode so if you have any questions ask away :-)
The Sex, Money, and Food Podcast
101: Embracing ALL of Our Emotions, with Michele PW
Talking about Fear, Love and Positive Emotions with Michele PW
Welcome to this episode of The Sex, Money and Food podcast! If you want to truly experience joy then you must be willing to experience sadness. Do you think this is true?
On this edition of the Sex, Money, and Food Podcast, our guest is Michele PW joins us to talk about feeling ALL of the feelings and why doing so is what ultimately allows us to experience the highest forms of love and joy and peace. You’ll hear Michele share why we don’t need to suppress our fear, anger, sadness or grief and how to actually feel those feelings without acting on them. Listen in for that and more on episode 101 of The Sex, Money and Food podcast!
More About This Show
Michele PW is someone who knows about emotions. She is the best-selling author of the Love-based copywriting books and she produces the podcast, Love-based Money. Her books and her podcast focus on using positive emotions in copywriting and in personal finance, but at the core of her teachings she shows people how to embrace all of their emotions.
Today we began by talking about why people are afraid of feeling fear-based emotions like anger, grief, shame, guilt, anxiety, and worry. In fact Michele says people are so afraid of those emotions that they tamp down ALL their emotions. It’s a cultural thing: we’ve been conditioned to hide our vulnerability and our fears.
Along the way we have forgotten that all of our emotions have an important purpose. They are warning signs for us to pay attention to, like anger which means our boundaries are being pushed. When we feel sadness and grief it means something we loved is over.
Even fear, shame and guilt all have their own purpose; fear shows us that sometimes there is really something to be afraid of in that dark corner we can’t see, shame and guilt are there to help us live in a community and among our tribe. At our core we are tribal beings and want to be with our people.
Our society has become so focused on our intellectual side that we’ve lost touch with the importance of our emotions. And that's why people are so uncomfortable when someone is expressing a fear-based emotion like sadness or grief. If someone is crying people will grab a tissue and tell them it's going to be okay, even if they don't know it's going to be okay.
People do so because the crying is making them uncomfortable. What most of us don’t realize is that the person’s discomfort with grief or sadness then puts pressure on the person experssing their grief or sadness to stop expressing those emotions, to stop feeling and stop crying. So even if someone want to show their sadness, they cannot because other people aren’t okay with it.
Which led me to ask her how we can sit with our own emotions, feel them and be okay with them. Michele had several pieces of advice, the first being to stop and breathe. Rather than posting a rant on social media when you feel triggered, instead just stop and breathe while allowing the emotions to swirl inside of you. Eventually you’ll find they will pass and you will come out the other side.
Michele also recommends following a book called The Presence Process by Michael Brown. It's a ten week program with specific breathing techniques and tools he guides you to use through each of the ten weeks.
On today’s show Michele explains the breathing technique in the book, why it helps us become present and the emotions-related reason why we actively avoid being present in our lives.
We also discuss looking at your shadow, and how to have a relationship with your shadow. She gives specific examples including what our relationship with money says about our shadow and what to do if you are really worried about your finances. You can hear that and so much more on this edition of The Sex, Money and Food podcast with Michele PW!
Michele Answers The Questions
Q: Rank the following in order: Sex, Money, Food?
A: I knew you were going to ask me this so I thought about it! I think I’m going to rank food first because if you don’t eat then the other two things can only sustain you for so long!
Q: There is nothing better in life than…
A: being able to feel everything, even the good and the bad.
Tweetable: “All fear-based emotions have a purpose.” - Michele PW
Episode Resources
www.alexandraharbushka.com
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PSST. I will be reading your reviews in an upcoming episode so if you have any questions ask away :-)
The Sex, Money, and Food Podcast
Support, Acceptance, and Vulnerability
Welcome to the 100th episode of The Sex, Money and Food podcast! I am extra excited for today’s show because it’s our 100th episode together and also because we are talking about a favorite topic of mine: asking for help.
On this edition of the Sex, Money, and Food Podcast, I’ll be sharing why I used to be the person who didn’t allow others to help me, why we all need to evaluate our lives and the role self-love plays in asking for help and receiving it from others. This is a fun, insightful and important subject so hear all about it on today’s show.
More About This Show
As I was thinking about what to talk about with you I reviewed my list of topics. Not a single thing jumped out at me so I allowed my intuition to guide me.
It led me to my friend Justin Crane’s book called Money: You Got This and, in particular, to chapter three of the book which talks about asking for help. And that subject really spoke to me, I knew that was what we should talk about today.
Throughout our lives, especially as women, we think we are superwomen who don't need to ask for help. One of the quotes in the book, from Justin's grandmother, is "You can't even see the hump on your own back!". It's a good reminder we need to ask for help from experts and other people in our lives.
This particular chapter discussed having experts come in and help you with your finances, and why it's important to ask for help if you want your finances to work!
The same is true of other areas of our lives. Aside from money, think about times when you don't accept help that is offered to you or you don't ask for help when you need it. Do you not allow someone to put your luggage in the overhead bin on the airplane?
Look at instances like that in your life, look for the little ways you do or don’t ask for help. Do you allow someone to open the door for you if your hands are full?
Personally I didn’t always. I was the girl who said I can do it, I don't need your help! It could be because I am an only child and am very independent, or it may have been because I didn’t want to seem weak or needy.
So many of us don't ask for help or allow others to help us because it shows vulnerability, and we aren’t comfortable with that. And sometimes we don’t ask for help because we don’t even know we need it! That’s why it's important to look at your life and evaluate where you can allow people to help you more.
That’s where self-love comes in. Yes self-love is about enjoyment, but it’s also about evaluating your life. Where are you with your love life, your education, your finances, etc.? Find out where you are so you can put a game plan together and ask for help.
And when you know where you need help figure out how to get it. If you can't afford a professional to help you, think of another way to ask for help. Is there a teenager in your neighborhood who needs extra cash and will do your laundry for less? Look outside of the box to solve your problems and find solutions that aren't traditional.
But the first step is evaluating the areas of your life and I talk more about doing so on today’s show. I’ve even included a link in the Resources section, tune in to episode 100 and then use that link to evaluate where and how you’re going to ask for help!
Tweetable: “Put a game plan together and ask for help.” - Alexandra Harbushka
Episode Resources
The podcast currently has 110 episodes available.