Sexual Encounters: The Very First Time

What does celibacy really mean, and can intimacy thrive without sex? In this episode of Sexual Encounters: The Very First Time, MaryJane speaks with certified sex therapist Neil Sampson about celibacy, abstinence, sexual desire, spirituality, and intimacy beyond sex, exploring why people choose to wait, pause, or live without sexual encounters and how those choices can shape connection, identity, purpose, and love.

Connect with Neil Sampson on https://www.neilsampsontherapy.com/

Can your first sexual experience happen without ever physically touching another person? In Digital Firsts, we explores how technology is reshaping sex, intimacy, relationships and even what we mean by a “first time.” MaryJane is joined by Dr. Markie Twist and Dr. Neil McArthur, the scholars who introduced the concept of digisexuality, to unpack the increasingly blurred lines between human sexuality and technology. From sexting, online pornography and video intimacy to virtual reality, AI companions and human-like sex robots, we ask: When does a digital sexual experience become significant enough to count as a first? Can intimacy with an AI feel emotionally real? Can a relationship with an AI companion constitute cheating? And could technology become not just a tool for sexual connection, but an important part of someone’s sexual identity? The conversation also explores digital consent and vulnerability, relationship boundaries, stigma surrounding digital relationships, and what emotionally responsive AI could mean for future generations growing up with technology as a companion rather than simply a tool. As intimacy becomes increasingly digital, perhaps the bigger question isn’t whether these experiences are “real”, but who gets to decide what counts as intimacy in the first place?

What really counts as cheating, and what happens when trust is broken in a relationship?

In The First Lie (First time cheating), we explore the complicated reality of infidelity, betrayal, and the agreements that define our intimate relationships. Dr. Rachael Needle joins us to unpack why cheating isn’t defined by a single behavior, why people are unfaithful, and what infidelity can reveal about love, sex, trust, and commitment. We also hear a deeply personal listener story from someone who discovered infidelity in their marriage, confronting the painful distance between the relationship she thought she had and the reality she was suddenly forced to face. It’s an honest conversation about cheating, broken trust, and the complicated contradictions that emerge when love and betrayal exist in the same story.

In this episode of Sexual Encounters: The Very First Time, MaryJane and Dr. Markie explore first times in polygamous and polyamorous relationships - the joy, the jealousy, the boundaries, and the breakthroughs. Whether part of a cultural tradition or a chosen poly dynamic, the conversation with Dr. Markie unpacks what it means to share love, sex, and emotional vulnerability beyond monogamy.

Useful resources: 

Meri Brown: https://www.worthyup.com/

Polyam-Centric Therapy Roleplay: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqE2VjPNBAU&t=373s

Original source citation: Twist, M. L. C. (2016). Polyam-Centric role play. University of Wisconsin-Stout, MFT 733, Summer, 2016 Advanced Sex Therapy course. 

Monogamism Measure: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14681994.2018.1526883

Twist, M. L. C., Prouty, A. M., Haym, C., & *VandenBosch, M. L. (2018). Monogamism measure. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 33(4), 376-381.

Celebrating polyamory day: https://www.cosrt.org.uk/opinion/celebrating-polyamory-day-committing-to-managing-monogamism-in-psychosexual-therapy-practice/ 

Twist, M. L. C. (November, 2021). Celebrating polyamory day: Committing to managing

monogamism in psychosexual therapy practice [blog]. College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists.

In this episode of Sexual Encounters: The Very First Time, MaryJane is joined by psychotherapist Sergio Rebelo to explore the complex emotional, psychological, and relational realities surrounding first-time experiences in sex work. Together, they discuss agency, circumstance, consent, stigma, boundaries, identity, and the myths that often shape public perceptions. From the difference between choice and necessity to the lasting meaning these experiences can hold, this thoughtful conversation offers a compassionate, nuanced look at intimacy when it becomes labor and reminds us that behind every first time is a deeply human story.

What happens when intimacy expands beyond two people? In this episode of Sexual Encounters: The Very First Time, host MaryJane is joined by sex and relationship experts Dr. Markie Twist, Dr. Alex Iantaffi, and Dr. Allen Mallory for an honest conversation about first-time threesomes, throuples, ethical non-monogamy, and other multi-partner dynamics. Together, they explore the gap between fantasy and reality, communication, consent, jealousy, emotional vulnerability, and the surprising logistics of navigating intimacy with more than one partner. Whether you're simply curious or exploring non-traditional relationships yourself, this thoughtful and judgment-free discussion offers practical insights into desire, boundaries, and the emotional complexity of first-time group experiences.

Follow our sexperts on socials: ​

 @DrMarkieLCTwist⁩ 

@xtaffi ​

 ⁨@nmbr1bballplyer⁩ 

What happens when the moment you've anticipated for years finally arrives?

For some people, waiting until marriage is rooted in faith, culture, personal values, or a desire to build emotional intimacy before physical intimacy. But after months - or even years - of waiting, the first sexual experience after marriage can carry enormous expectations.

In this episode of Sexual Encounters: The Very First Time, host MaryJane explores the emotional, psychological, and cultural realities of having sex for the first time after marriage.

Joining the conversation is Nokwanda Dlamini, Marriage and Family Therapist and co-host of Love & Marriage Today with Dr Bakhe & Nokwanda. Together, they unpack common myths about waiting until marriage, the pressure surrounding the wedding night, navigating sexual inexperience, managing expectations, and what happens when fantasy meets reality.

In this episode of Sexual Encounters: The Very First Time, MaryJane and Dr. Jess O'Reilly explore the emotional and psychological layers of first-time oral sex - from awkwardness and performance pressure to consent, vulnerability, pleasure, and connection. A candid conversation about expectations, intimacy, and the experiences that quietly shape how we relate to sex and ourselves. Plus, a listener shares their unforgettable “Salt Lake City” story.

Dr. Jess's episode on Sexual values is available here.

From dorm rooms to cars, planes, and public spaces, this episode of Sexual Encounters: The Very First Time explores how unexpected settings shape intimacy, memory, consent, and vulnerability. Host MaryJane is joined by Dr. Markie Twist for an honest conversation about first sexual experiences, spontaneity, thrill, emotional safety, and the lasting impact of where intimacy happens.

What happens when your first sexual experience crosses culture, race, and expectation?

In this episode of Sexual Encounters: The Very First Time, we explore intercultural and interracial relationships and first-time experiences, unpacking how attraction, curiosity, and connection intersect with identity, power dynamics, and dating across difference.

Featuring insights from Dr. Markie and Dr. Starlin Astacio, this episode dives into intimacy, dating, and relationships, and how these first moments shape the way we understand ourselves and each other.