Sexually Speaking with Shannon

In this episode, you’re guided through a gentle, grounding Inner Child Meditation designed to help you reconnect with the younger version of yourself who still lives in your emotions, your nervous system, and your unmet needs. This practice isn’t about imagining a literal child inside of you—it’s about using the metaphor of your inner child to better understand your feelings, your patterns, and the parts of you that are still longing for support, safety, and presence.

You’ll begin by priming your body for safety with breathwork and box breathing, helping your nervous system soften so you can access deeper layers of connection. From there, you’ll “rewind the tape” of your life—moving from young adulthood, to your teen years, and back to the child version of you. Through visualization, curiosity, and compassion, you’ll explore:

✨ What your younger self loved
 ✨ What made them feel safe
 ✨ The qualities they naturally carried before the world told them who to be
 ✨ What they want you to know now
 ✨ What support they’ve been waiting to receive

You’ll have moments to offer your inner child love, appreciation, and reassurance—and to receive any messages that arise. This meditation helps you re-parent, repair, and reconnect so you can meet your present-day emotions with more safety, compassion, and understanding.

As the practice closes, you'll return gently to your body, grounding into the present moment with mindful awareness. You’re encouraged to journal afterward to capture anything that surfaced—insights, emotions, memories, or messages.

This is a beautiful experience for anyone feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, or longing for deeper self-support. I’m honored to guide you through it, and I’m cheering you on as you continue building a compassionate relationship with yourself and your inner child.

Thank you for being here. Thank you for you.

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Take some time to create safety and space in your system....

Recommended: Practice for 5–10 minutes, 2–3 times a day, or anytime you feel dysregulated.
 This practice retrains your system for rest, safety, and presence.

1. Ground + Arrive

Find a quiet space and sit comfortably, palms open, feet grounded.
 Close your eyes or take a soft gaze.
 Take three slow breaths into your belly.

2. Box Breathing – 2 Rounds

Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds.
 Hold for 4 seconds.
 Exhale through pursed lips for 4 seconds.
 Hold for 4 seconds on empty.

3. Tapping + Vagal Toning – 2 Rounds

Gently tap on your chest or anywhere on your body to wake up sensations.
 On the exhale, sound the word VOO to activate your vagus nerve.

4. Eye + Neck Reset

Bring your left ear toward your left shoulder and look up toward the upper right corner of your eyes.
 Take 3 deep breaths while holding the pose
 Switch sides and repeat.

5. Neck Massage

Press gently at the base of your skull where the head and neck connect.
 Breathe slowly as you release tension and allow more flow through your body.

6. Anchor Affirmation

Repeat to yourself: “I am safe — safe to be in my body, safe to feel, safe to experience this.”

7. Body Scan

Notice the different temperatures — your feet, your hands, the air as it moves in and out through your nose.
 Scan your body for what feels safe, supported, or at ease.
 Allow yourself to soften even more into that.
 Now scan for any areas that feel tight, constricted, or holding stuck energy.
 Name and observe those sensations with loving curiosity — maybe notice a color, texture, or shape.

8. Orienting to the Present

Open your eyes and look around your space.
 Name five things you see that share the same color or shape.

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This audio is the guided pleasure-mapping audio.

Some guidelines to follow for pleasure mapping: 

Before starting the practice, find a private and comfortable environment. 

You can do this in the bath, shower, or lying in bed. 

Minimize distractions as much as possible – silence the phone, lock the door, etc.

You can be fully or partially unclothed, whatever feels comfortable to you. 

As you continue to get more comfortable with the exercise, you can take it further than what’s in the guided audio and expand to using body oil, lotion, lube, or other textures.

Your eyes may be open or closed, whichever allows you to best focus on sensation. 

The focus of this exercise is not arousal or orgasm specifically (although that is welcome), but rather just to pay attention to pleasurable sensation and explore that.

This is just information gathering. 

Your mind will likely wander during the exercise or judge your experience. That’s normal. When that happens, refocus on the physical sensation and breathe. Slow down.

Just get curious about what feels good. 

When you’re ready, start the activity.

Activity To Do: Pleasure Mapping Session

1. Listen and follow along with the guided pleasure mapping audio included in this module
2. Write in your journal the answers to these questions: 

    - What part of your body was most pleasurable to touch?

    - What type of touch felt best?

    - What positive emotions came up? What negative emotions? Are these associated with a particular part of your body?

    - Did you notice any automatic thoughts arise during the exercise? What were they? Were they connected to a particular area of your body?

Credit for basis of this activity: Desire by Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy et. al. 

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In this episode, Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers, a licensed psychotherapist, best-selling author, and researcher shares her insight on shameless parenting and our ability to heal while we learn alongside our kids.

Dr. Tina and I dig into how sexual shame impacts our ability to form secure attachments and relationships. She shares her experience as a professor and noticing the shift as the first wave of "purity culture" took on a different narrative that was harmful to the students she was teaching.

One of my favorite books, Sex, God, and the Conservative Church: Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy was powerful in helping me understand how and why shame is rampant in our culture, but often hard to notice.  And she has recently another book called, Shameless Parenting: How to Raise Confident, Shame free Kids and Heal Your Own Shame Too!

Dr. Sellers emphasizes the role of parents in fostering shame-free environments for their children, regardless of their family makeup. She encourages open conversations with teenagers, addressing myths and stereotypes about sex, and prioritizing connection and pleasure over obligation in relationships. Dr. Sellers emphasizes the importance of ongoing learning, dispelling myths, and staying on the path of personal growth to lead a fulfilling life.

Follow Dr. Sellers on Instagram at @DrTinaShameless

In this episode:

0:02:28 Dr. Tina Shermer Sellers bio 

0:08:45 Healing Through Shameless Parenting

0:27:26 Importance of Social and Emotional Learning

0:32:51 Parenting Insights Beyond Traditional Family Structures

0:39:39 Embodying Sexuality for a Fulfilling Life

0:42:13 Connect with Dr. Tina on Instagram

0:42:37 Dr. Tina's Podcast Episodes

Although this will be my last episode, please stay in touch! Check out what I have going  on @shannonhamaker on Instagram!

Also on my website: shannonhmaker.com will share the latest and greatest in my offerings through coaching and retreats. 

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One of the most impactful experiences you can have in strengthening your partnership is the understanding of feminine and masculine energy. Most of us understand and embody masculine energy easily without having to think about it. It is the doing, going, and moving forward that most of us learn as valuable in our culture. We learn the social construct that productivity is valued and doing comes naturally to most.

But what does feminine energy look and FEEL like?

My co-facilitator and friend, Amanda Curry, and I speak from our experiences of why masculine and feminine energy is a powerful concept to understand. We share our moments of learning and how we continue to lean into this concept of “being” in our feminine energy. 

Amanda Curry is a transformational coach for women who uses the power of somatics, inner child work, and breath to facilitate lasting change. 

She has been a physical therapist for 12 years and in the self-development world for 15 but only started to support deeper levels in 2020. 

Amanda is a wife of almost 15 years and a mother of two.

Amanda and I discuss personal growth, reflection, and the importance of inner work. We explore masculine and feminine energy, challenge societal expectations, and share our personal experiences. We address the issue of female partners feeling unsupported and offer insights and suggestions.

We also mention an upcoming couples retreat focused on effective communication and cultivating extraordinary relationships.

Reach out to us for coaching or workshop opportunities.

In this episode:

0:00:39 Reflecting on growth and partnership in the healing journey

0:03:10 The deeper transformation and tools in retreat work

0:06:46 Embracing vulnerability and facilitating deeper reflection

0:11:31 Embracing the balance of masculine and feminine energies

0:13:01 Discerning aligned masculinity from wounded masculinity

0:20:27 Embracing both feminine and masculine energies

0:23:17 The journey of balancing feminine and masculine energies

0:30:24 Couples retreat: extraordinary communication and support

0:32:07 Planting seeds of curiosity and compassion

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In this episode, we explore the world of non-monogamy with Dr. Joli Hamilton, a renowned relationship coach. We discuss the reasons why some choose open relationships, different approaches to non-monogamy, managing jealousy, setting agreements, repairing relationships, and providing valuable resources for further support couples in that space.

Tune in to gain insights and connect with Dr. Joli Hamilton for coaching and workshops.

In this podcast episode:

0:03:40 Dr. Joli's journey into the field of non-monogamy

0:09:56 Navigating polyamory with care

0:13:09 The two extremes of jumping into polyamory or hesitating

0:15:20 The need for negotiated and consensual relationships

0:17:29 Relationships require effort and willingness to embrace change

0:20:28 Embracing different needs and relationship dynamics

0:28:25 The complexity of envy and jealousy

0:30:55 Unpacking the narrative of jealousy

0:37:20 Setting boundaries and honoring agreements

0:39:24 Trusting yourself and holding integrity with agreements

0:41:39 Relationship check-ins and intentionality

0:45:09 Consequences and planning for repair

0:47:38 Graduating with a clear relationship choice

Find Dr. Joli Hamilton on:

Dr. Joli Hamilton's website - https://www.jolihamilton.com/

The Year Of Opening - https://theyearofopening.com/

The free salon: https://openeasier.com/

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In this episode, I am joined by Trauma Therapist, Mom, and fellow retreat Co-Facilitator, Heather Pincelli. 

We discuss our recent transformative retreat experience and the power of group work for healing. 

We also share personal stories and insights on patterns of behavior, triggers, and the importance of communication and self-care. 

In this podcast episode:

0:02:44 The successful Restore for More Retreat experience!

0:10:41 Heather's transformation from her younger self to present-day

0:15:34 Understanding personality patterns and overwhelm

0:18:23 How personality patterns affect relationships and communication

0:23:01 Heather's strategic banana dilemma

0:26:17 The banana incident and uncovering past trauma

0:32:04 Merging pattern

0:36:13 Leaving pattern 

0:39:23 Enduring pattern and retreating into one's own space

0:42:21 Body types and personality patterns

0:44:30 Intimidation of the leaving pattern and sensitivity to conflict

0:53:51 The power of stopping and breathing through challenges

You can find Heather Pincelli on:
IG - @thattherapistheather

AND her new podcast, Therapy in the Wild, will be on all the platforms!

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Join me  in my interview I had with Jennifer Kaylo on her podcast, The Open Bedroom (ahem, I HIGHLY recommend!) In this episode, I share my story of moving from a space of confusion, frustration, and shame to growing my confidence and curiosity.  

In this podcast:

03:00 - My journey

09:55 - Stumbling upon a podcast about conscious uncoupling

14:50 - From black and white to a colorful marriage life

15:00 - Following the breadcrumbs of curiosity

19:55 - The clarity of getting to know my sexual self… And knowing that I am not responsible for him, I’m just responsible to him.

23:00 - The moment of awakening

32:10 - Surrendering and learning to listen to your body is the best thing you can do

35:00 - Midlife crisis to midlife magic

39:00 - Learning about my erotic blueprint. Erotic Blueprint Quiz

47:30 - My husband’s breakthrough

51:10 - It all with intention, nothing is by accident

54:30 - You don’t have to do it alone… Finding a community to work through

Sexually Speaking podcast episode with Jen: Consciously Uncoupling with Jennifer Kaylo Ruscin

Books mentioned:

Come as You Are

The Power of Now

Wise Power

Sexually Woke

How to Do The Work

Follow Jen for more

Jennifer’s podcast: The Open Bedroom Podcast

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Lindsey Hall is an Intimacy and Empowerment Coach who supports women to deepen their intimacy with self & others, own their power & their pleasure, and live the joyful life they love!

Lindsey spent 12 years in the world of corporate accounting where listening to your intuition and prioritizing your pleasure are not exactly encouraged, so now she is passionate about helping women bring more pleasure to their daily lives and peeling back the layers of shame and social conditioning that prevent us from living our fully empowered lives. She hates small talk and elephants in the room and much prefers to dive in deep talking about the things that are maybe scary but ultimately so important and healing to talk about!

After going through her divorce during lockdown with two tiny children, she specializes in supporting women emotionally through the divorce process and beyond, including dating and co-parenting - which are both pretty big adventures!

In this podcast:

03:30 - Lindsey’s story

10:50 - Lindsey's healing process

12:30 - Learning how to step back and listen more

13:00 - Support from a coach

17:30 - Self-pleasure class

21:00 - The BJ Class

23:00 - Lindsey’s experience in divorce and dating

25:00 - It’s not my job to look out for every hurt that may come

26:50 - Maintaining the work Lindsay has done

30:30 - Voicing my desires

Lindsey's Website: Lindsey Hall Coaches 

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The parts of you who desire a life based in liberation, love, and leadership can find a home in Katrin’s world.

Katrin is a sexual liberation mentor who has overcome painful sex and continues supporting women in releasing vaginismus's protective body response. She deeply understands how survival strategies of the mind and subtle protective mechanisms of the body can make the freedom you crave seem out of reach.

She has led herself off the beaten path back to her authentic self and now helps you do the same. In sex, love, relationships, and entrepreneurship! 

Katrin believes that your power is born out of your deepest pain and that the Liberated & In Love Woman within you already has all the answers to guide you in your personal reclamation. She is here to love you as you re-discover your unique signature of play, pleasure, and purpose. She gently calls you into your zone of genius and lifts you up as you bravely build your legacy from that place of aliveness and erotic overflow.

In this episode:

01:00 - Katrin’s story

08:30 - How does Katrin support people who are also going through painful sex

11:00 -  Why we should stop using the term sexual dysfunction 

16:00 - Treating vaginismus

19:00 - The Erotic Blueprints

23:00 - Vaginismus is a defense response

24:00 - How to practice surrendering in the bedroom

28:00 - The physical healing journey

33:00 - The show - Sex, Love, and Goop

39:00 - Why people may experience vaginismus

44:00 - Trauma and vaginismus

47:00 - Katrin’s free course about vaginismus

48:00 - Katrin’s life after vaginismus

Katrin’s free course - Putting Vaginismus in the Past - https://www.katrinwithlove.com/

Get your erotic blueprint at: https://missjaiya.com/

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