Over the last four years, we've written podcast episodes about the sex education the church didn't want you to have. One of the most threatening things for a high-control religious system is a goodbye, which results in actual transitions away from these groups that are secretive, forced, and avoidant. In this episode, we describe an intentional, proper goodbye, from the perspective of how we structure intentional final sessions with our clients. Also, this is the last official episode of Sexvangelicals. We ask these six common questions to help us reflect on our Sexvangelicals journey:

1. Where did we start and why?
2. What did we learn?
3. How have we grown?
4. What did we do well?
5. What do we wish we had done differently?
6. What is the unfinished work?

Please stay tuned to our podcast and our Substack, Relationship 101, about updates and next professional steps for Julia and Jeremiah. We're incredibly thankful for you!

This summer, we've answered the most common questions that we receive as relationship and sex therapists. And this week, we answer one of the most common questions: Does body count actually count? We live in a culture that views your sexuality based on how often you access it. Men who are deemed to have accessed sexuality a lot are viewed as "studs". Women are simultaneously valued and devalued based on how often they have sex. In Evangelical systems, folks who have sex before they get married are sinners. There are tons of psychological and relational problems that develop from this question, even as many of us are unlearning the myth that our value is tied to how sexual we are or are not. We talk with Natasha Helfer (@natashahelfermft on Instagram), certified sex therapist and one of the premier relationship therapists for post-Mormon folks, about how we can ask better questions. Check out our conversations about:

• Redefining sex and sexuality
• Practicing equity in our relationships and sexuality
• How high control religion establishes negative expectations for relationships
• How relationships can be a primary space for deconstruction
• What you can expect from a quality relationship therapist.

This summer, we're reflecting on the ten most common questions we hear from our relationship and sex therapy clients. We often hear folks talk about their sexuality in negative ways, comparing their sexuality, consumption of porn, and masturbation practices to that of addiction. We self-diagnose as sex addicts, or we diagnose our partners as sex or porn addicts. And in doing so, we eliminate the opportunity for curiosity, to learn about our fantasies, our curiosities, our erotic templates, and our hopes. In this episode, we talk with Dr. Eric Sprankle (@drsprankle on IG), author of DIY: The Wonderfully Weird History and Science of Masturbation, about what we miss when we rely on the language of "porn addiction".

• The historical roots of anti-masturbation and moral panics.
• The value of our relationships with ourselves as sexual people.
• Media literacy.
• Effective ways of managing disgust.
• The distinction between privacy and secrecy.
• Navigating rejection and other emotions when our partners choose a sexual interaction with themselves over us.

Check out this episode and other episodes of Sexvangelicals on our website, www.sexvangelicals.com.

This summer, we're reflecting on the ten most common questions we hear from our relationship and sex therapy clients. Growing up in a high control religious space means that queer people often have to repress their sexuality, and may not come out until their late 20s, 30s, or later, which has significant impacts on sexuality and relationship development. We are thrilled to have Dr. Joe Kort, host of the Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast and author of Side Guys, to talk with us about how Evangelical, Mormon, and Pentecostal communities negatively impact the coming out process. Joe talks with us about:

• The culture of covert trauma
• The stages of coming out
• The loss of privilege that accompanies coming out
• Finding an affirmative therapist
• Sides, sexual fluidity, and Grindr

Check out this episode and other episodes of Sexvangelicals on our website, www.sexvangelicals.com.

This summer, we're reflecting on the ten most common questions we hear from our relationship and sex therapy clients. In the last few years, we've increasingly heard couples asking about play parties, sex parties, cuddle parties, and the like. Opportunities to practice touch, sexuality, and play in intentional spaces.

We are thrilled to have Ally Iseman, founder of Passport2Pleasure, as our guest. Ally helps couples and communities organize play spaces, establish clear expectations for what happens at play events, and explore their own sexual styles and preferences in the process. Ally talks with us about:

• Defining the variety of options that people and partnerships have.
• The value of curiosity.
• The power of the word no.
• Aftercare.
• The implications (if any) of exploring a play party.

Check out this episode and other episodes of Sexvangelicals on our website, www.sexvangelicals.com.

This spring, Julia and Jeremiah are answering ten of the most common questions they hear from clients, exvangelicals, and the larger cultural zeitgeist. One of the most common questions is "What if I want to have sex with other people?" In this episode, Julia and Jeremiah are joined by Becs Waite and Jimmy Bridges from the practice This Space Between to talk about factors, considerations, and first steps for those interested in opening up their relationship. Join Julia, Jeremiah, Becs, and Jimmy for a rich, thought-provoking conversation about:

• The numerous options for opening up a relationship.
• Tolerance for the emotions that come up while opening up a relationship.
• Dismantling the myths of consensual non-monogamy.
• Being realistic about resources
• Parenting and other logistics

Check out S9E07: Ask a Sex Therapist: What if I Want to Have Sex with Other People? With Becs Waite and Jimmy Bridges of This Space Between on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. For more information about This Space Between, visit https://www.thisspacebetween.com

This spring, we are answering ten of the most common questions that we hear as sex therapists. This week, we're exploring the question, "What do I need to consider when I have sex for the first time?" We created six different scenarios that a person might have for the first time:

1. A general first time sexual experience, and considering what you disclose (and don't disclose) ahead of time.
2. Oral sex and stimulating another person's clitoris or penis
3. A same-sex sexual experience.
4. Anal sex.
5. A sexual experience that involves vaginal penetration
6. Group sex.

And we've invited the amazing Erica Smith to help us process these six scenarios. Erica is the founder of Purity Culture Droput. Learn more about Erica at ericasmitheac.com

This spring, Julia and Jeremiah are answering the ten most common questions that we receive as sex therapists. In this episode, they explore the question, "How do I have my first orgasm?" If you haven't had an orgasm before and you want to have orgasms, messages about "just taking it off the pedestal" and focusing on other areas of pleasure can be really minimizing and dismissive, even if, in the long run, they are helpful. J+J are joined by the amazing Erica Smith, sex educator and founder of Purity Culture Dropout. Join Julia, Jeremiah, and Erica for an hour long conversation about:

• Understanding the anatomy and physiology of genitals
• The power of the clitoris
• The importance of going slowly
• Masturbation
• Actively exploring your sexual fantasies

Learn more about Erica's work at ericasmitheac.com. Registration for her summer 2025 Purity Culture Dropout cohort begins soon. And learn more about Julia and Jeremiah's relationship coaching business. If you and your relationships have been negatively impacted by Purity Culture, schedule a free 30 minute consultation with them to learn more about how relationship coaching can bring healing and health to your relationship.

This spring, Julia and Jeremiah are answering ten of the most common questions they hear from clients, exvangelicals, and the larger cultural zeitgeist. One of the most common questions is "What happens if sex hurts?" In this episode, Julia and Jeremiah are joined by Dr. Camden Morgante (@drcamden on Instagram), author of the new book Recovering from Purity Culture. They reflect on how to address and reduce the physical and emotional pain that a repressive situation or larger culture, such as Purity Culture, might bring to a sexual experience. Join them for a practical, empathetic conversation about:

• Purity Culture and cumulative trauma.
• The normalization of pain in religious and non-religious settings.
• How physical therapy can help mitigate the pain of vulvodynia and vaginismus.
• Divorcing the notion of work from pain
• Sitting with grief.

Tune in to our Substack, Relationship 101 (sexvangelicals.substack.com) over the next few weeks for more info about working with sexual pain.

This spring, Julia and Jeremiah are answering ten of the most common questions they hear from clients, exvangelicals, and the larger cultural zeitgeist. One of the most common questions is "Does planning sex kill the vibe?" In this episode, Julia and Jeremiah talk about the distinctions between planned and spontaneous sex. While many of us desire spontaneous sex, the reality is that, for many of us, sex is more planned than we might realize. And that's fantastic! Join Julia and Jeremiah for a hilarious, thought-provoking, and enriching conversation about:

• Vibes
• Sexual growth and sexual desire beliefs
• How our perceptions of sexuality change when we talk about it more
• Ways that we more intentionally plan sex
• Practicing spontaneity within the structures that we establish around sex