This summer, we're reflecting on the ten most common questions we hear from our relationship and sex therapy clients. In the last few years, we've increasingly heard couples asking about play parties, sex parties, cuddle parties, and the like. Opportunities to practice touch, sexuality, and play in intentional spaces.

We are thrilled to have Ally Iseman, founder of Passport2Pleasure, as our guest. Ally helps couples and communities organize play spaces, establish clear expectations for what happens at play events, and explore their own sexual styles and preferences in the process. Ally talks with us about:

• Defining the variety of options that people and partnerships have.
• The value of curiosity.
• The power of the word no.
• Aftercare.
• The implications (if any) of exploring a play party.

Check out this episode and other episodes of Sexvangelicals on our website, www.sexvangelicals.com.

This spring, Julia and Jeremiah are answering ten of the most common questions they hear from clients, exvangelicals, and the larger cultural zeitgeist.   One of the most common questions is "What if I want to have sex with other people?"   In this episode, Julia and Jeremiah are joined by Becs Waite and Jimmy Bridges from the  practice This Space Between to talk about factors, considerations, and first steps for those interested in opening up their relationship.    Join Julia, Jeremiah, Becs, and Jimmy for a rich, thought-provoking conversation about:

• The numerous options for opening up a relationship.
• Tolerance for the emotions that come up while opening up a relationship.
• Dismantling the myths of consensual non-monogamy.
• Being realistic about resources
• Parenting and other logistics

Check out S9E07: Ask a Sex Therapist: What if I Want to Have Sex with Other People? With Becs Waite and Jimmy Bridges of This Space Between on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.   For more information about This Space Between, visit https://www.thisspacebetween.com

This spring, we are answering ten of the most common questions that we hear as sex therapists.    This week, we're exploring the question, "What do I need to consider when I have sex for the first time?"   We created six different scenarios that a person might have for the first time:

1. A general first time sexual experience, and considering what you disclose (and don't disclose) ahead of time.
2. Oral sex and stimulating another person's clitoris or penis
3. A same-sex sexual experience.
4. Anal sex.
5. A sexual experience that involves vaginal penetration
6. Group sex.

And we've invited the amazing Erica Smith to help us process these six scenarios. Erica is the founder of Purity Culture Droput. Learn more about Erica at ericasmitheac.com

This spring, Julia and Jeremiah are answering the ten most common questions that we receive as sex therapists. In this episode, they explore the question, "How do I have my first orgasm?"    If you haven't had an orgasm before and you want to have orgasms, messages about "just taking it off the pedestal" and focusing on other areas of pleasure can be really minimizing and dismissive, even if, in the long run, they are helpful.   J+J are joined by the amazing Erica Smith, sex educator and founder of Purity Culture Dropout. Join Julia, Jeremiah, and Erica for an hour long conversation about:

• Understanding the anatomy and physiology of genitals
• The power of the clitoris
• The importance of going slowly
• Masturbation
• Actively exploring your sexual fantasies

Learn more about Erica's work at ericasmitheac.com. Registration for her summer 2025 Purity Culture Dropout cohort begins soon.    And learn more about Julia and Jeremiah's relationship coaching business. If you and your relationships have been negatively impacted by Purity Culture, schedule a free 30 minute consultation with them to learn more about how relationship coaching can bring healing and health to your relationship. 

 

This spring, Julia and Jeremiah are answering ten of the most common questions they hear from clients, exvangelicals, and the larger cultural zeitgeist.   One of the most common questions is "What happens if sex hurts?"   In this episode, Julia and Jeremiah are joined by Dr. Camden Morgante (@drcamden on Instagram), author of the new book Recovering from Purity Culture. They reflect on how to address and reduce the physical and emotional pain that a repressive situation or larger culture, such as Purity Culture, might bring to a sexual experience.    Join them for a practical, empathetic conversation about: 

• Purity Culture and cumulative trauma.
• The normalization of pain in religious and non-religious settings.
• How physical therapy can help mitigate the pain of vulvodynia and vaginismus.
• Divorcing the notion of work from pain
• Sitting with grief.

Tune in to our Substack, Relationship 101 (sexvangelicals.substack.com) over the next few weeks for more info about working with sexual pain.

This spring, Julia and Jeremiah are answering ten of the most common questions they hear from clients, exvangelicals, and the larger cultural zeitgeist.   One of the most common questions is "Does planning sex kill the vibe?"   In this episode, Julia and Jeremiah talk about the distinctions between planned and spontaneous sex. While many of us desire spontaneous sex, the reality is that, for many of us, sex is more planned than we might realize. And that's fantastic!   Join Julia and Jeremiah for a hilarious, thought-provoking, and enriching conversation about: 

• Vibes
• Sexual growth and sexual desire beliefs
• How our perceptions of sexuality change when we talk about it more
• Ways that we more intentionally plan sex
• Practicing spontaneity within the structures that we establish around sex

This spring, we're answering the most common questions that we receive about s*xuality. A lot of questions revolve around our genitals. How are they supposed to look? How are they supposed to function? What happens if they don't function the way that they're "supposed to function"?   In this episode, we challenge three assumptions about our genitals.

1. Your worth as a human being is defined by how your genitals look or function.
2. The thing that lets us know we've had a successful s*xual experience is orgasm.
3. The best way to orgasm is through vaginally penetrative s*x, which typically only leads to male orgasm.

These assumptions generate the orgasm gap, the fact that men orgasm way more than women do. We close the episode by talking about 15 ways that a couple might connect that leads to both partners orgasming.

Deconstruction is the process of re-evaluating the worldview and behavioral expectations of a specific community.    Talking openly about sexual experiences that exist outside of purity culture dictates is one of the fastest ways that a couple from a high control religious context may begin deconstructing.   Season 9 of Sexvangelicals explores ten of the most commonly asked questions that we receive as sex therapists. And it starts with perhaps the most stress-inducing question of all:   Can my relationship survive deconstruction?   In this episode, we talk about:

• A relational health assessment that explores how you and your partner talk about sexuality.
• Five themes that point to the health of your sexual relationship, as well as areas that might need some attention.
• Three strategies for finding a sex therapist.

We are thrilled to re-release part two of our conversation with NPR National Correspondent Sarah McCammon. Sarah is the author of the book The Exvangelicals: Loving, Living, and Leaving the White Evangelical Church.    In the age of a second Trump presidency, it's imperative that we discuss the history of the Evangelical Church and politics, purity culture, gender performance, and healing.   In part two of our re-release we discuss how there are a lot of memoirs, social media comments, and dialogue about leaving the evangelical church. However, as Sarah says, "you can't really understand the leaving without understanding loving and living the evangelical church."