Lara and Carey talk climate change heat woes in Los Angeles, seeking safety in the Blue Zones, Clavicular’s magnum opus streaming clip, needing Clav to come out, the Dune Part Three trailer, harrowing lighting at the Vanity Fair Oscars party, and more.

On Southern Hospitality, Emmy is confronted again for her micro aggression towards Brad as TJ and Molly chime in with their own grievances with She Hulk. Emmy wins everyone back, for now, by breaking her two year sobriety streak. Out on the town, TJ and Michols make out and Justin sucks Mia’s belly button in the most seismically bisexual-adjacent manner. At work the next day, Joe Bradley resurrects his “Joey Bottles,” Emmy pretends to be good with everyone again, and Molly throws a Gays and Girls pajama party (minus Emmy). A belligerent Grace Lilly wages war against Maddi, claiming she knows a secret that could change everything.

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Lara and Carey return to the swampy source for another recap of Southern Hospitality. But first they talk the new historic Devil Wears Prada 2 purse popcorn bucket at AMC, another win for NBC Universal after Kelley and Scott Wolfe reunited at Universal Studios Hollywood, and a deep dive into the first two episodes of Ladies of London: The New Reign.

Then on Southern Hospitality, Maddi’s new- brawl with TJ is quelled by making shaky peace with Brad, who reveals the real, shocking reason he’s fallen out with Emmy. TJ enters new straight guy psychosis after falling under the slutty spell of new guy and resident fuccboi Justin. Joe Bradley botched an attempt at pitching himself to Leva to invest in a new bar and Queen Mia returns from Hawaii, down a boyfriend but up in dignity. Then, at Brad and Julia’s anniversary party, Maddi and Mia get into it over a cutout vandalism and group chat denials. Emmy does wall sits out back, preparing for her big exit from the party on next week’s episode…

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Lara and Carey say goodbye to the Vanderpump Rules reboot (for now!) with another LIVE recap — complete with live chat questions and concerns. But first they discuss the (allegedly) violence-loving head chef of Noma, a VPR alum rubbing elbows with Trump, Bill Gates and Sam Altman, and Mickey Rourke’s eviction during Oscars week.

Then, Larz and Carz break down the second half of the VPR season 12 reunion: Marcus and Shayne recount their roommate era and Shayne’s sage-like Tinseltown wisdom. Shayne gets misty eyed over his harrowing past as Nana Pump locks in on him as her new favorite wounded bird. Shayne and Natalie’s endearingly dysfunctional situationship is explored, Angelica and Audrey try to move past Roast Gate as the Hole Cousins explain their controversial rub down video, and Lara takes a stand against the bait and switch industry at large. Marcus and Kim consider parenthood; Angelica defends her George Glass mystery boyfriend “LAX Guy” and her shocking baby pact with Shayne is revealed; Venus shocks everyone with a threesome story.

Au revoir for now to The Fart Palace (SUR)!

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Lara and Carey return to talk Bella Hadid’s new crisis bob, finding Ryan Murphy around every corner, Nostradamus inserting himself into the drama once more, Nicole Kidman learning how to remove organs in an autopsy and her incandescent (and confounding!) chemistry with Jimmy Fallon, Bethenny’s terrifying iced coffee, grey kitchen, and her explanation for not being in “The Golden Life” and more.

Then, Larz and Carz head south by way of Charleston to check in with the staff of Republic on season 4 of “Southern Hospitality.” DJ Maddi comes back to C-Town after her legendary DJ tour and immediately finds herself in hetero hell with Joe Bradley. Michols reels from his friendship breakup with Molly and TJ and Brad find themselves on the outs with not only Emmy and Will but Maddi herself. Emmy —committed to her chilling destiny of becoming a lawyer’s wife — continues her She Hulk transformation, as her nuptials with Will loom. In the process, she pulls a susceptible Maddi into folie à deux against TJ, Brad, and the rest of the world. Plus! Grace Lily becomes a literal soothsayer.  

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Lara and Carey follow up their iconic live watch-along with a recap after dark — SUP edition. With the livestream still going, Lara and Carey answer questions from the chat about part one of the Vanderpump Rules reboot reunion.

Nana Pump takes center stage alongside Andy, as they go back to basics, with a reunion at the fart palace itself, SUR Restaurant. Android Angelica and Audrey have a busty stand-off while Venus channels his best Vampire Lestat. Natalie and Kim get right into over Kim’s still simmering rage at Natalie over her boundary-free style of digital communication with Marcus Chris and Audrey close the casket on their fake relationship as Demy just how close she was with the mysterious Paolo, Natalie’s one-time paramour. Venus mourns the loss of his emotional thirding with Kim and Marcus, and explains his celibacy with a portrait of his harrowing pre-VPR romance patterns; Lisa asks Venus a strangely homophobic question. Jason and Angelica debate her alleged back injury as Shayne dissociates further into the hot guy nebula. Lara and Carey also debate who —if any — should be trimmed from the already confirmed thirteenth season, and how the show can improve the promising reboot foundation laid.

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Lara and Carey reunite in the SUP stu post-Carey’s Atlanta adventure. They discuss Rinna disclosing the fent/meth combo found in her system post-drugging at The Abbey, Mark Zuckerberg front row at Prada and the continued slopification of tech and fashion, Shia LaBeouf released on $100K bail, Ghislaine’s nasty prison BO, and more.

On the season finale of VPR, the crew gears up for Pride at SUR, with Venus at the helm. Audrey and Chris discuss their near-future with Chris’s upcoming fck-cations posing a threat to their budding romance. Marcus and Shayne get their SLAA on at the music store as Angelica continues to reel from her trauma over Audrey’s roast. Finally, Pride comes to WeHo once more, and Lisa “Mama Pump” Vanderpump reminds us of the meaning of the big day… her making money. Venus shows off his hideous decoration, Natalie performs her rindom song, Chris and Jason go-go dance, Audrey dumps Chris, Angelica confronts Audrey and recommits to Shayne — fake news George Glass boyfriend be damned. Then the entire group carries out a philosophical debate on the true meaning of comedy.

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Lara and Carey go forth into a DOOZY of a penultimate Vanderpump Rules season twelve recap, but first they have a big laundry list to get through. They react to the brand new trailer for season three of The Valley, and give their verdict on whether or not it looks like a flop. Plus, the official reason for Brandi Glanville’s face parasite is REVEALED.

They also discuss “Love Story: JFK Jr and Carolyn Bessette,” Sarah Pidgeon’s star power, Naomi Watts’s rindom turn as Jackie O, and how it stacks up to “The Crown.” Then, a lengthy dive into Netflix’s new and often shocking “America’s Next Top Model” commences, featuring The Shell formerly known as Tyra Banks, Shandi, Dani, Keenyah, Miss J, and more.

On VPR, the countdown to Pride continues, as Venus prepares his magnum opus of hosting the fabled SUR Pride brunch; Natalie prepares to rehearse for a live Pride performance of her song “Passenger.” Angelica returns from Houston with new boobs and a new man but begins to misfire over Shayne’s renewed interest in Natalie. Natalie and Jason have a production-arranged date at a harrowing paint zone in DTLA. Chris begins to get cold feet over committing to Audrey. Marcus confides in Venus about Kim’s conscious uncoupling with birth control, Natalie chooses not to pursue things further with Shayne or Jason. Finally, Audrey’s big comedy debut arrives, as she rindomly decides to standup. Her roast of her colleagues veers into the “too far” zone, though, when she drills into Angelica’s chaos and “emotional homelessness.”

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Lara and Carey discuss Carey locking into his fitness journey, becoming a protein gay, Nancy Guthrie’s kidnapper caught on Nest cam, and a DoorDash driver getting caught in the mess, Jill Zarin getting axed from the RHONY reboot, Bad Bunny continuing to provide gift after gift, and Fiona the Loneliest Sheep in the World being forced into Hetero Hell.

Back on VPR, Kim and Natalie get details on Anjelica’s boob job in Houston straight from the source. Venus sets up a Pride photo shoot at Villa Rosa complete with Chris, Jason and Marcus; LVP forces Venus to relive his gay trauma; Audrey confides in her gay, Parker, over her reservations with dating Chris, then gags said Chris at Universal Studios, leaving him in the dust.

Jason tries and fails at waiting on Lisa and Ken’s table at SUR, and is soon relegated to the host stand; he also gets taught Shayne’s Meisner-esque methods on the set of a Vertical Drama. Venus Le Fleur hits up TomTom with Parked and demon twink Ryan, recapping his recent car blowjob and how he’s back in the love game. Then at McKenna’s beach birthday, Audrey and Chris work through their bumpy road to going steady while Natalie gets her bi on the beach bar with Jason and rindom Allison. 

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Lara and Carey discuss the unrelenting pull of WhatNot, the latest Oura ring-busting episode of Industry, Lara’s tried and true Bitcoin approach, Red Rooms as the movie of our decade, OnlyFans University, the horror of Savannah Guthrie’s missing mom, and more.

Back on VPR, Big Central California continues its propaganda as the crew wakes up from their bacchanal in SLO for a day of wine tasting. After some double headed dildo shenanigans, the boys pile onto the party bus as Angelica tried to whip the girls into her slut-shaming frenzy. Natalie is pelted by a rogue wave of red wine and Jason finally snaps, calling Angelica out and addressing Spread Hole Inc*st gate once and for all. Audrey, defending her budding romance with Chris, tries to pick apart Angelica’s accusations as she contends with lingering discomfort over her new man’s business ventures.

Meanwhile in WeHo, Lisa hosts the 8th annual World Dog Day, furthering her long term plan of staging a coup and taking over West Hollywood. Back at the Paso Robles house, Shayne calls it quits with Angelica, attempting to avoid being pulled further into her fembot chaouse. But Angelica, still programmed to complete her mission of heteronormative oppression, doesn’t give up that easy, allowing herself to be offered up as a sacrificial lamb in VPR’s classic humiliation ritual. We have served.

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Lara and Carey head back into the livestream continuum for one last reunion episode of RHOSLC Season 6. First, they discuss Brandi Glanville debuting her new head at Sundance, holding her face parasite cards close, and our own speculations over her actual diagnosis.

Meanwhile, Britani runs off stage after Meredith’s confounding bigotry defense, returning soon after with a giant coffee and a backbone. Meredith continues to maintain her innocence in PlaneGate as Hengie K breathes enough in her corset to speak twice. Babygirl Lisa gets rill about her marriage issues with John, and Bronwyn channels a possessed child and monologues about Muzzy and Todd, revealing she and Mr. Farts have separated. Wild Rose breaks down over her own marital tribulations after severing ties with Entity. Bronwyn snaps back into Transatlantic mode and tears into Meredith one last time. Au revoir for now, our Sisters of Salt! 

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