Steven takes Seymour back in time to a new history of his own invention. Hear why he was arrested by the tortoise police and how he built a new high speed road between Newcastle and London with just a rake and some ladders. Experience his fake moustache journey through South America and friendship with Pele, his fistfights with meercats and the reasons why Cardiff was moved from its original spot to its new location in Wales. No guest ever hears the questions in advance. Trigger warning - this episode is perhaps our most bonkers yet.

Many thanks to the fabulous Skibka Music on Freesound for the use of their hip hop loop.