Looking Back on a Life That Didn't Happen

Steven takes Seymour back in time to a new history of his own invention.  Hear why he was arrested by the tortoise police and how he built a new high speed road between Newcastle and London with just a rake and some ladders.  Experience his fake moustache journey through South America and friendship with Pele, his fistfights with meercats and the reasons why Cardiff was moved from its original spot to its new location in Wales.  No guest ever hears the questions in advance.  Trigger warning - this episode is perhaps our most bonkers yet.

Many thanks to the fabulous Skibka Music on Freesound for the use of their hip hop loop.

Steven Davidson takes Jarred back into the tumble dryer of his early life.  We hear the reasons behind his random digging of gigantic holes, about a deep and beautiful friendship with Taylor Swift,  tales of eating bamboo in the mountains whilst learning martial arts, of selling a thousand wigs and winning an Olympic bronze medal at snooker before throwing it into the Thames.  No guest hears the questions in advance, their brand new life is made up entirely of nonsense from their own brain discussed as always in a very serious manner.

Many thanks to Daisy Davidson for use of her excellent original tunes!

Just under two years on from his last show, the slowest working man in showbiz brings the magnificent Mark Maier into a life that he definitely didn't live. Episode 29 takes Mark through a vicious cheese meltdown, onward to a school for gifted parkour leapers and round the corner via a field giving spirited performances to disinterested cows.  All this whilst breaking up with Adele, making jam for Jon Bon Jovi and experiencing a multitude of emotional adventures.  No guest ever sees the questions in advance, they talk only in pure nonsense and lies.  No truth is involved.

(Many thanks to the amazing Daisy Davidson for creating the lovely original piano backing for a song subsequently ruined by some disturbing vocals)

The 28th epic journey into a life not lived sees Steven Davidson joined by the fantabulous Jo Caulfield, whose tear jerking story involves adoption by Paul McCartney, secretly mowing the lawns of stately homes, a highly intelligent donkey and crushing Nigel Farage at tennis.  As always, no guest ever sees the questions in advance...

Episode 27 sees us joined by the marvellous Lou Conran on a magnificent interview journey into an alternative life she did not live and knows nothing about.  Amongst many emotional moments we hear about why Lou lives a mile underground, the reason she ran Bono through with a broadsword, why she lobbed prosecco for the Queen, the traumas of being Hugh Grant's sister and the reasons behind Lou's desire to have her ashes smoked by Kevin Costner.  No guest ever sees the questions in advance...

The 26th episode since 2015 from the UK's slowest but best podcaster sees Steven Davidson joined by the tremendous Eddy Brimson on an epic journey back into Eddy's alternative history.   Amongst a cornucopia of fantastical delights, we hear tales of Eddy firing missiles at Dundee, attending an archery school with Mikail Gorbachev, buying a gooseberry farm with Bitcoin, sharing a flat with Tessa Sanderson & Margaret Thatcher and joining the army but only agreeing to fight smaller nations. 

Steven Davidson takes the legendary Gavin Webster on an interview journey through Gav's epic imaginary life.  We hear tales of his love affair with Judi Dench and attempted assasination by Daniel Craig, of clashes with film director Rafa Benitez, why he only plays 80000 seater venues, selling his own recipe Covid vaccine, organising the 'How to be Gavin' conferences and about how it felt to be living in a kennel with a famous dog.

Episode 24 sees the Joppa Superstar joined by the brilliant Ben Norris, who is transported into an in depth interview about a life he did not live.  Amongst other adventures we hear about Ben growing up around counter espionage & rock with his Mum Stella Rimington and Dad Mick Jagger, the Norris shorts fashion line, his Benjios restaurant chain, arranging the Bruschetta Aid concert, Ben's role in building a £20 billion nuclear plant near Suffolk and what is takes to be a bat whisperer.

Episode 23 sees Steven Davidson joined by the magnificent Jay Lafferty.  Amongst a sea of adventures in her alternative life, Jay discusses her new bullet helmet invention, her thoughts on soon taking over as First Minister of Scotland, releasing a duet with Queen Elizabeth, fishing for mackerel with Elton John and her involvement in high end welly boots. 

As always guests have no idea of the questions in advance when discussing their imaginary alternative journey.

Episode 22 sees Steven joined by the fabulous Dan Evans.  Amongst other tales of his alternative life Dan tells us about buying a navy destroyer by mistake, an unsuccessful welly boot fighting career, being born on the day Delia Smith invaded South America, defeating a snake using only bananas and of a geography teacher with a fear of door handles.  As always guests have no idea of the questions in advance when discussing their imaginary alternative journey.