You know those moments where you look at your partner and can’t believe the way they’re acting? You can’t fathom why they feel it’s appropriate to speak to you that way, turn away from you, ignore you, or dismiss what you’re saying. Frankly, you feel like they’re just “acting like a jackass!”

We can guarantee you there are reasons for those behaviors. And they may not be what you’d expect.

Here are our top three reasons:

1 | They feel criticized by you.

2 | There have been too many micro-rejections.

3 | There are unresolved issues from the past.

Surprised? One of the most important things we want couples to know is no one exists in a vacuum. Your partner isn’t acting negatively because they’re a bad person or they don’t like you anymore. Something is affecting them and they’re reacting in a less-than-ideal way.

Your best first step is to look at your own actions. Is there something you’ve been doing that they may not appreciate? Have you two had the opportunity to spend time together consistently? Have there been any major withdrawals from the emotional bank account? Have you been turning towards or away from one another lately? If you’re unsure, ask your partner!

On this week’s episode, we’re walking you through a deeper understanding of these three reasons for less-than-ideal behavior and what you can do about it. Listen to learn more about why your partner may feel criticized, how to watch out for micro-rejections, and strategies for resolving issues from the past.

P.S. You know we are not proponents of the 4 Horsemen (criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, contempt), but sometimes like to poke a little fun at ourselves and our partners. We don’t recommend calling your partner a “jackass” :)