The Simply Great Relationships Podcast: Love | Marriage | Sex | Communication | Dating Advice

This week we’re talking to Kenneth Play, international sex expert and sex educator, about his journey from low confidence to becoming a sex hacker. Kenneth discusses the many ways to find sexual pleasure, including through the alignment of desire, behavior, and values.

We’re all sexual beings, yet not taught how to find pleasure, so sex positive education is an important asset. Kenneth offers many free educational resources on his social media channels, as well as his Sex Hacker Pro online course.

Kenneth also discusses the social narratives around sex that lead to men feeling inadequate and how to challenge them. He shares how to create the “right” environment for pleasure and how to broaden your sexual repertoire with your partner.

If you’re looking to level up your sex life, this episode is for you.

Are Kegels as close as you’ve gotten to being informed about pelvic floor health?

If so, this week’s episode is for you.

Some signs that you may be having pelvic floor issues include:

- Incontinence
- Lower back pain
- Discomfort with sex
- A weak core

If you’re experiencing any issues, it’s best to work with a pelvic floor physical therapist. Our guest this week, Kim Vopni, is talking all things pelvic health. She’s providing tips for finding the best pelvic floor physical therapist in your area and making the experience as comfortable as possible. Kim is also sharing exercises you can do at home to strengthen your pelvic floor. The benefits of pelvic floor health are increased confidence, more pleasurable sex, and more closeness in your relationship.

Kim is offering our podcast listeners $10 off her Kegel Mojo program with coupon code SGR.

Ever wonder what “mindfulness” really is?

This week we’re speaking with mindfulness expert, Sarah Harmon, about mothering oneself mindfully. If you find yourself deep in negative self-talk and critique, losing your patience when things don’t go as planned, or spending too much time overthinking - this episode is for you.

To learn more, be sure to check it out. We’re covering what mindfulness really is, the importance of the relationship we have with ourselves, and how to be more mindful in our partnerships. Sarah is offering a free 10 minute meditation for you to get started! Her next round of The School of MOM starts October 12, 2020, so be sure to register for a reminder on her website if you’re interested.

Sarah Harmon is a mom to two girls, certified mindfulness and yoga instructor, and Licensed Mental Health Professional. Her philosophy artfully combines mindfulness teaching with modern data and science for an approach that is effective, results-driven, and evidence-based. She hopes that her curated programs and offerings, which are grounded in community, will help women and moms shift generational cycles of guilt, shame, and judgment. You can learn more about The School of MOM on her website and by following her on Instagram @the.schoolofmom.

In this week’s episode, we’re talking to Jasmine Johnson, a sex educator, entertainer, and therapist. Through her own journey of self-exploration, Jasmine became aware of how people tend to lose their identity when they become parents or professionals. She started Jet Setting Jasmine to help people come together for the fun of sex, learning what they like, and overcoming sexual shame.

Jasmine found that shame gets in the way of sexual pleasure and wanted to help people enjoy their fetishes and expand their sexual repertoire. In order to do this, you need to:

- Be more intentional about being on a journey to improve and enrich your sex life

- Develop a sexual persona and figure out what your impasses are

- Go on a journey of self-discovery to learn what you enjoy

To learn more about how to use porn as a source of entertainment and expansion, rather than education, explore kinks and fetishes, and reduce sexual shame, be sure to listen to this week’s episode.

Jasmine Johnson is a licensed clinical therapist and owner of Blue Pearl Therapy with a strong emphasis on Intimacy Post Injury, Trauma, and Intimacy Post Illness. She co-owns Jet Setting Jasmine and Royal Fetish Films, where the love of the arts, film, and sex education are combined to produce erotica that stimulates and engages the audience to push their sexual boundaries. Jasmine facilitates online workshops to help people explore and is a great educational resource. She has over 20 years of experience as an Adult Entertainer, Educator, and Master Fetish Trainer. Jasmine is a three-time award winning adult film star and has dedicated her craft to creating a more inclusive and ethically sound adult entertainment industry.

It’s our 100th episode!

We hope you’ve been enjoying the interviews we’ve been doing with experts in the field. For today, we thought it would be best to come back together and a Marina and Meredith episode. We wanted to celebrate this milestone by giving you a revamped all things communication episode. If you haven’t already listened to Episode 001 - Communication that Actually Works, please do so first.

This week’s episode is covering a few more advanced communication strategies for couples. We’re talking about why transparency is key, the power of giving your partner the benefit of the doubt, how to own your own stuff, the three magic questions you must ask yourself, and how to recognize your partner’s needs in a conversation.

You know those conflicts where you go from 0 to 100 in no time?

Or you say something benign and your partner reacts with rage?

It’s likely your inner child is making an appearance. I’ll be honest - when I’ve heard about the “inner child” in the past, I’ve rolled my eyes. But, after recording this episode, I have an entirely new understanding of this concept. And let me tell you, it’s playing out in all of our relationships.

This week we’re speaking with Saadia Z. Yunus, LMFT, about how our inner child shows up in our relationships. We talked about what the inner child really is, how to know when it’s showing up, and how to manage these sensitivities effectively.

Over the years, we’ve been asked a lot of questions by the couples we work with. Some are not always appropriate to answer in the therapeutic context. So, we’re answering them here today.

The 5 questions you wish your couples therapist would answer are:

- Should we get divorced?

- Are we a good match?

- Do couples recover from... infidelity, emotional disconnection, dry spells, a sexless marriage, opening a relationship?

- My partner’s wrong, right?

- Do you really care about your clients?

We’re answering these questions transparently on this week’s episode and sharing everything you always wanted to know. Be sure to check it out!

What’s more fun than getting a behind-the-scenes look at a couples therapist’s marriage?

We’ve had the unique experience of dating our husbands throughout graduate school, while we were learning the do’s and don’ts of healthy relationships. We pulled them along for the ride, shared what we were learning, and practiced exercises with them. I’d say it served us tremendously. Today’s guests have had a similar experience!

In this week’s episode, we spoke with Stranz and Mallory Wolfgramm, couples therapist, about their top three tips for making marriage work. We discussed why going to bed angry isn’t the marital death-sentence it’s made out to be, why time-outs during arguments are a necessity, and how to share concerns with your partner in an effective way.

They’ve offered a free download, 10 Steps to Stop an Argument Dead in Its Tracks, which you can download here: Get the Freebie

Women often talk about the “mental load.”

I, personally, have had this conversation with my husband countless times. It goes something like this:

Me: “If I didn’t think of everything that has to get done, it wouldn’t get done. Why do I have to do everything?”

Him: “You don’t have to do everything, just tell me what you need me to do and I’ll do it.”

Me: “But, that’s the point. If I have to tell you what to do, I still have to think about it.”

Can you relate?

These conflicts typically get triggered before a holiday, family event, or other scenario where the day-to-day responsibilities are intensified. We start to feel overwhelmed, unappreciated, and unsupported. Watching our partner check emails, take their time getting ready, or grab a seat on the couch, while we’re rushing around wrapping gifts, preparing food, and blow drying our hair can be pretty frustrating.

Luckily, this week we’re talking to Dr. Morgan Cutlip about sharing the mental load. We discussed what the mental load really is, how to open up a conversation with your partner about it, and the specific process to work through as a couple to share the responsibilities more fairly. If this is something you’ve struggled with in your relationship, be sure to listen in.

Everyone has sexual fantasies.

People generally feel shame about their fantasies and think they’re “weird” or uncommon. Research shows that having and exploring sexual fantasies and talking about them in the context of your relationship leads couples to have the most satisfying sex lives.

Here are a few tips to set yourselves up for success:

- Do your own work around shame by educating yourself and normalizing your fantasies
- Communicate with your partner and go through the learning curve together
- Integrate fantasy in small ways, instead of jumping into the deep end of the pool right away.

In this week’s episode, we’re talking to Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a preeminent sexual fantasy researcher, about what’s “normal,” the role of fantasy, and how we can incorporate it into couples’ sex lives. We covered the 7 most common types of fantasies, how to communicate with your partner about yours, and how incorporating fantasy can be enriching and broaden your sexual repertoire. Dr. Lehmiller’s book, Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life, is an excellent educational resource for couples looking to get started.