There are certain conflicts that seem to come out of nowhere. You’ve approached your partner with a concern, laid it out as clearly as you could, and - to your surprise - they completely lose it. They’re angry and hurt - and it’s somehow your fault.

How are you supposed to bring up your concerns if this is how they’re going to react.

Most likely, this is a case of the message being sent not ending up as the message being received. What you thought you were sharing with your partner was very different than what they felt you were sharing. There are a number of possible reasons for this, including having a low emotional bank account balance, faulty beliefs about your partner, or a trigger related to this topic.

Here’s a visual for you:

Impact = Message Received
Intention Message Sent

The hard truth is the impact your message has matters far more than your original intention. We talk a lot about perception vs. reality - the impact is how your partner perceived the message, and that’s what we’ve got to work with.

So, how do you make sure you’re communicating your needs in a way that allows your partner to receive your intended message? You’ll have to listen to this week’s episode to find out!