December 31, 2024

Welcome to Season 1, Episode 10, Shades of Pleasure

Four sexologists open up about life, love, and the pursuit of consensual non monogamy.

In this season finale episode, Melissa, Wayne, Kelly, and Moushumi, four experienced sexologists, explore the challenges of embracing vulnerability, humility, and patience in transforming relationship dynamics. What roles do curiosity, humility, open-mindedness, and managing expectations play in navigating new relationships with metamours, and the shifting dynamics that may emerge between anchor partners?

Get full access to Shades of Pleasure Podcast at shadesofpleasure.substack.com/subscribe

December 23, 2024

Welcome to Season 1, Episode 9, Shades of Pleasure

Four sexologists open up about life, love, and the pursuit of consensual non monogamy.

In this insightful episode, Melissa, Wayne and Moushumi, three of our four experienced sexologist co-hosts attempt to unravel the sometimes complex waters of consensual non-monogamy (CNM). The conversation delves into the unspoken rules and agreements that help these relationships thrive, the delicate balance of power dynamics, mental health within relationships and the challenges of deciding when and how to close a relationship.

Listeners will also gain valuable insights into emotional regulation within CNM, including navigating emotional sobriety, understanding insecurities, and the importance of healthy communication. With honesty and expertise, the panel offer real-life stories for building ethical and fulfilling connections in non-traditional relationships.

Whether you’re new to CNM or looking to deepen your understanding, this episode provides a roadmap for untangling the intricate emotional landscapes of love, trust, and emotional autonomy.

How do we stay present when the dynamics of the relationship affect your mental health?

Get full access to Shades of Pleasure Podcast at shadesofpleasure.substack.com/subscribe

October 6, 2024

Welcome to Season 1, Episode 7, Shades of Pleasure

Four sexologists open up about life, love and the pursuit of consensual non monogamy.

Four sexologists answer the question: what is a monogamy hangover? What happens when we try to incorporate monogamous ideals into non-monogamous ways of relating with others and being? How does this cause misalignments? Much like a hangover, we might bring over jealousy, possession, ownership, feeling threatened when our partner meets someone else- we often default to the things that didn’t serve us in monogamous relationships- perhaps we fear vulnerability, or perhaps some of this is conditioned, or perhaps some of this fear comes from being judged, or perhaps we carry shame from the past.

How do you “cure the hangover?” We do have the freedom to look at those tropes and decide how they may or may not serve us. We can be mindful of the choices we make in our relationships. We can learn new ways of relating, and of being vulnerable.

Listen to this episode to discover the “remedy” for your “hangovers.”

Get full access to Shades of Pleasure Podcast at shadesofpleasure.substack.com/subscribe

October 6, 2024

Welcome to Season 1, Episode 7, Shades of Pleasure

Four sexologists open up about life, love and the pursuit of consensual non monogamy.

Four sexologists answer the question: what is a monogamy hangover? What happens when we try to incorporate monogamous ideals into non-monogamous ways of relating with others and being? How does this cause misalignments? Much like a hangover, we might bring over jealousy, possession, ownership, feeling threatened when our partner meets someone else- we often default to the things that didn’t serve us in monogamous relationships- perhaps we fear vulnerability, or perhaps some of this is conditioned, or perhaps some of this fear comes from being judged, or perhaps we carry shame from the past.

How do you “cure the hangover?” We do have the freedom to look at those tropes and decide how they may or may not serve us. We can be mindful of the choices we make in our relationships. We can learn new ways of relating, and of being vulnerable.

Listen to this episode to discover the “remedy” for your “hangovers.”

Get full access to Shades of Pleasure Podcast at shadesofpleasure.substack.com/subscribe

September 16, 2024

Welcome to Season 1, Episode 6, Shades of Pleasure

Four sexologists open up about life, love and the pursuit of consensual non monogamy.

Four sexologists break down obligatory and entitled sex and it’s role in our cultre and where does ethical non monogamy fit into the picture. The conversation is about rules, who made them, who follows them and how they ultimately hold us back. They also talk about science. The science behind lust, romantic love and attachment, and why so many people experience a decline in lust and romance in thier long term relationships, and the role of non-monogamy in all this, as a form of decolonization, uprising and ultimately with hopes of giving people more options, to see they way that rules hold them back and help them make decisions that suit them and their relationships.

Get full access to Shades of Pleasure Podcast at shadesofpleasure.substack.com/subscribe

August 12, 2024 Welcome to Season 1, Episode 5 of Shades of Pleasure

Four sexologists open up about life, love and the pursuit of consensual non monogamy

Our hosts Mou, Melissa, Wayne, Kelly do a deep dive about time in Consensual Non Monogamy. Love may be infinite in our definition as ethical love activists and there is lots of flexibility in who, how, where and what kind of love, intimacy we get to share, but when is the question of today’s episode, when and how often do you see others?Who in your life gets to say when, how often and what you do with your free time? Do they have a say at all? It’s a very important conversation to have with your partners as assumptions can kill a good thing. This topic is also often one that goes undiscussed in our preparedness talks around ethical and consensual non monogamy, but very important none-the-less. Tune into episode 5 now!

Get full access to Shades of Pleasure Podcast at shadesofpleasure.substack.com/subscribe

July 20, 2024 Welcome to Season 1, Episode 4 of Shades of Pleasure

Four sexologists open up about life, love and the pursuit of consensual non monogamy

Our hosts Mou, Melissa, Wayne, Kelly do a deep dive about aftercare in Consensual Non Monogamy whether it be after a date, or after a rupture. Also, what it means, when is the best time to do it, how to do it, who is the best person to do it, it’s origins in the BDSM/Kink community but it’s widespread use as mental health becomes more centered, and how to manage caring for multiple partners. The hosts explore some of their feelings and experiences including “making the implicit, explicit” addressing the elephant in the room, vulnerability hangovers, casual sex self-after care and tips for dipping into the “general dating pool” as non-monogamous people and so much more.

Get full access to Shades of Pleasure Podcast at shadesofpleasure.substack.com/subscribe

July 11, 2024 Welcome to Season 1, Episode 3 of Shades of Pleasure

Life, Love and the Pursuit of Consensual Non Monogamy

Our hosts Mou, Melissa, Wayne, Kelly continue their conversation about terms and in the process explore some of their feelings and experiences including stigma and bias around some of the terminology and experiences.

Terms discussed today are swinger, lifestyle, compersion, jealousy, hierarchy in non monogamy, veto power, monogamish, anchor partner, privilege, and more…

Listen to these sex therapists as they get vulnerable about their feelings about non monogamy.

Get full access to Shades of Pleasure Podcast at shadesofpleasure.substack.com/subscribe

June 28, 2024 Welcome to Episode 2 of Shades of Pleasure

Life, Love and the Pursuit of Consensual Non Monogamy

While terminology can be helpful to describe experiences within ethical and consensual non monogamy, the team discuss how it’s not a requirement and also discuss how sometimes lables are distracting or even harmful and as shifts are common, reminding us that relationships and sexuality are fluid.

That being said, the team take turns describing various concepts and terms they use and have heard been used in their work and in personal life as proponents of CNM.

They also remind us that new terms are always being made and encourage folx to come up with their own terms.

The team uphold their values which include being inclusive, honoring oneself and other where they are at, and centering authentic communication at the heart of it all.

Get full access to Shades of Pleasure Podcast at shadesofpleasure.substack.com/subscribe

May 12, 2024 Welcome to Episode 1 of Shades of Pleasure

Life, Love and the Pursuit of Consensual Non Monogamy

Meet the hosts, Moushumi Ghose, Kelly Jones, Melissa LeSane and Wayne LeSane - 4 sexology professionals coming together to talk about their very first foray with non-monogamy, the different styles they practiced at the beginning off their journey and how they came to be mental health, sexuality and relationship advocates of consensual monogamy.

Get full access to Shades of Pleasure Podcast at shadesofpleasure.substack.com/subscribe