Shadow Work, WTF?

Stella from MAFS sit's down with Caitlin to unpack her relationship and mean girl drama.

You saw the dinner party chaos - now hear the psychology behind it.

Stella sits down with Caitlin to unpack her relationship, the mean girl drama she was targeted by, and what was really happening beneath the surface.

They go deep on:

• The anxious/avoidant dance Stella used to live in (and what shifted)

• Why “boring” can be the first sign of secure attachment

• The mean girl hierarchy, projection, and subtle power plays at the table

• What not reacting actually communicates in high-conflict spaces

• How real support looks (spoiler: not your friends yelling “fuck him!” on repeat)

• Compassion without reconciliation (aka: you can have empathy and still say NO)

• How to watch reality TV like free therapy instead of a public hanging

Whether you’re watching MAFS or not, this episode will change how you see relationship drama — on screen and in your own life.

If you love this episode please like, share and subscribe.

Find us on socials here:

Caitlin: https://www.instagram.com/complete_bycaitlin/

Stella: https://www.instagram.com/mickstella_/

In this episode, Caitlin and Lurinda sit down with Lucy, a mum of three who's been in the personal development space for a decade. Lucy gets honest about why all that mindset work and manifestation coaching helped her intellectually but never actually healed anything, and how Shadow Alchemy became the first approach that actually worked.

From judging women in the gym to realising she was projecting her own desire for confidence, Lucy shares the messy truth about spiritual bypassing and what it really takes to move from understanding your patterns to actually healing them. Plus, some excellent tangents about going clubbing in your 30s and why we stop having fun as adults.

This episode is for you if:

• You've done years of mindset work but keep running the same bloody patterns
• You judge other women's confidence and secretly wish you had it too
• You can connect all the dots about your childhood trauma but still feel triggered by the same stuff
• You've lost parts of yourself to motherhood or "adulting" and want them back

What we'll cover:

• Why Lucy used to judge women in the gym and what that really meant
• The difference between intellectually understanding your patterns and actually healing them
• How spiritual bypassing keeps you stuck in analysis without feeling
• What happened when Lucy finally let her alterego come out at the nightclub

Resources Mentioned:

• Shadow Alchemy Certification: shadowalchemycoaching.com
• Shadow Alchemy Coaching Academy: @shadowalchemycoachingacademy

Connect with Us:

This conversation will probably make you think about all the parts of yourself you've shut down in the name of being "appropriate." Share your thoughts with us @shadowalchemycoachingacademy - especially if you're ready to stop intellectualising your way through healing.

If you've been doing mindset work for years but still find yourself stuck in the same patterns, maybe it's time to stop thinking your way through your trauma and start feeling it. Lucy's story is proof that understanding yourself isn't the same as healing yourself - sometimes you need to get out of your head and into your body. And maybe, just maybe, you need to go dancing.

In this raw and deeply personal solo episode, Caitlin gets brutally honest about what really happened in the months leading up to her wedding - and it wasn't the fairy tale love bubble you see in movies. After recording this episode 35 times (yes, really), she finally lets it be messy and shares how her avoidant attachment patterns showed up in ways she never expected, how she almost convinced herself she was marrying the wrong person, and what she discovered when she dug beneath the surface of her doubts. This episode is the real, uncomfortable truth about what it takes to choose love when your nervous system is screaming "run."

This episode is for you if:

• You've ever doubted a good relationship and wondered if there's something "better" out there
• You struggle with intimacy even when you feel safe with someone
• You keep having the same arguments with your partner and can't figure out why
• You're terrified that loving someone deeply means you'll be destroyed if you lose them

What we'll cover:

• How avoidant attachment shows up differently in secure relationships versus toxic ones
• Why Caitlin felt like she was "missing spark" and what she discovered about her relationship to seduction and intimacy
• The mirror dynamic that showed her and her partner were actually facing the same fears
• The moment she realised her avoidance wasn't about commitment—it was about her terror of loss

Key points:

06:00:00 - The Wedding Doubt Spiral
Caitlin shares how the question "what if I regret it?" started consuming her thoughts three months before the wedding.

15:00:00 - Missing the Spark
Why she felt like something was missing in her relationship and what she discovered about her addiction to push-pull dynamics.

25:00:00 - The Seductress Shadow
How Caitlin realised she'd shut down parts of herself that brought aliveness because she'd only used them as manipulation tactics.

50:00:00 - The Deactivation Strategy
How Caitlin caught herself unconsciously starting fights to create distance when intimacy felt too vulnerable.

This episode is messy, real, and probably longer than it needed to be—just like relationships. Share your thoughts with us @shadowalchemycoachingacademy, especially if you've recognised your own patterns in Caitlin's story.

If you're in a relationship where someone isn't willing to meet you in curiosity and vulnerability, this episode might be the reality check you need. And if you're with someone who is willing to do the work, even when it's uncomfortable, maybe it's time to stop looking for problems and start co-creating solutions.

In this candid episode of Shadow Work, WTF?, Caitlin sits down with support coach Lurinda to talk about the Advanced Shadow Alchemy Facilitator Training, and it's not the polished success story you might expect. Caitlin explains why she created this 12-month intensive that goes way beyond collecting more techniques, while Lurinda gets brutally honest about her experience as a current student. Spoiler: she thought she had her self sorted and was quickly proven wrong.

This conversation reveals what happens when you move from scripts to intuitive space-holding, and why most coaches aren't ready for the level of surrender this path demands.

This episode is for you if:

• You're bored of surface-level coaching techniques
• You've been secretly wondering if there's more depth available but don't know how to access it
• You love the idea of advanced training but need a reality check about what it actually involves
• You want to hear someone be genuinely vulnerable about getting their masks ripped off

What we'll cover:

• Why Caitlin created a year-long program when most people want quick fixes
• What happened when Lurinda walked in thinking she was "sorted" and got systematically humbled
• How personal development tools can become sophisticated ways to hide from yourself
• The difference between being a good coach and being someone who can hold space for anything

Key Points and Timestamps:

01:41:00 - Why This Exists

Caitlin explains why she couldn't fit everything into Level 1 and what happens when coaches try to go deeper without proper foundation.

25:13:00 - Lurinda's Reality Check

The moment Lurinda realised she'd been weaponising her personal development work to build better walls around her mess.

32:25:00 - Every Tool Becomes a Trap

How the more work you do, the better you get at appearing regulated while avoiding the deeper stuff.

38:07:00 - Sink or Swim

Why the program moves fast enough to force you out of perfectionism and into trusting yourself completely.

42:12:00 - The Bratty Student

Lurinda owns up to turning into "a little brat" when her edges got hit and what that taught her about leadership.

Resources Mentioned:

Shadow Alchemy Certification

Shadow Alchemy Coaching Academy: @shadowalchemycoachingacademy

Connect with Us:

This conversation might make you question everything you thought you knew about coaching training. Share your thoughts with us @shadowalchemycoachingacademy - especially if Lurinda's experience of getting her masks ripped off sounds terrifying but necessary.

Curious about the Advanced Facilitator Training?

Fair warning - this isn't about collecting more techniques or adding credentials to your bio. As Lurinda discovered, it's about getting humbled in ways you didn't see coming and learning to hold space when everything feels like it's moving too fast. If you're genuinely called to go deeper (not just because it sounds impressive), check out shadowalchemycoaching.com.

In this powerful episode of Shadow Work, WTF?, Caitlin sits down with SJ Chiovitti to unpack one of the most uncomfortable yet crucial conversations in the coaching industry: coercive control. With the recent introduction of coercive control laws in Australia, this conversation explores how these dynamics extend far beyond intimate relationships into coaching spaces, creating environments where clients slowly lose their autonomy and self-trust. SJ brings her background in psychology, behavioural finance, and trauma counselling to break down how seemingly supportive mentorship can become psychological captivity—and what we can all do differently.

This episode is for you if:

• You've ever felt like you couldn't disagree with or question your coach without consequences
• You're a coach wondering if you're unconsciously creating codependent dynamics with clients
• You've noticed yourself adopting your mentor's language, style, or opinions without conscious choice
• You want to understand the difference between ethical influence and manipulation in coaching

What we'll cover:

• How coercive control manifests in coaching spaces through subtle emotional manipulation and power imbalances
• The predictable progression from admiration to psychological dependence in mentoring relationships
• Why spiritual and personal development language can be weaponised to avoid accountability
• Practical steps for coaches to create genuinely empowering, sovereignty-supporting containers

Key Points and Timestamps:

01:42:00 - Defining Coercive Control

SJ breaks down what coercive control actually means and how it removes true consent through psychological pressure disguised as care.

09:42:00 - The Progression into High Control

How coaching relationships start with admiration and gradually shift into psychological captivity through pedestalling and power imbalances.

22:50:00 - Creating Ethical Coaching Spaces

Practical guidance for coaches on how to maintain client sovereignty, ask before offering insight, and make repair normal rather than rare.

43:15:00 - Building Capacity to Speak Truth

SJ shares her journey of developing the nervous system capacity to call out harmful patterns while modelling better alternatives.

1:04:04:00 - Red Flags and Next Steps

Clear warning signs to watch for and actionable steps for both coaches and clients to create or find healthier dynamics.

Resources Mentioned:

Follow SJ Chiovitti: @sj.chiovitti

Shadow Alchemy Certification: shadowalchemycoaching.com

Shadow Alchemy Coaching Academy: @shadowalchemycoachingacademy

Connect with Us:

This conversation challenges some deeply embedded norms in the coaching industry. Share your thoughts with us @shadowalchemycoachingacademy⁠.If you're ready to learn how to create genuinely ethical coaching containers that support client sovereignty rather than dependence, Shadow Alchemy Certification teaches shadow work through embodied practice and ethical frameworks. Our next immersion is coming up, and we're committed to raising the standard of safety in this industry. Learn more at shadowalchemycoaching.com.

Why Your Biggest Blocks Are Keeping Your Clients Stuck Too

This week, Caitlin and support coach Lurinda dive deep into the most common shadows that plague coaches - and how these patterns directly sabotage their ability to create transformative client experiences. From burnout cycles and abandonment wounds to perfectionism and the desperate need to prove themselves, they explore how these shadows create co-dependent relationships, surface-level sessions, and clients who never quite get the breakthrough they're seeking. This conversation offers the uncomfortable truth about why your own unintegrated shadows are the biggest barrier to your coaching effectiveness.

This episode is for you if:

• You find yourself filling every silence in coaching sessions because it feels uncomfortable
• You struggle with clients who seem overly agreeable or those who challenge your expertise
• You work harder than your clients do and feel resentment creeping into your practice
• You panic when clients ask questions you don't immediately know how to answer

What we'll cover:

• How the "lazy" shadow creates burnout cycles that keep coaches trapped in proving energy
• Why abandonment wounds lead to chameleon coaching that serves no one authentically
• The perfectionism trap that makes coaches talk too much and listen too little
• How to recognise when you're creating co-dependent relationships instead of empowered clients

Key Points and Timestamps:

01:19:00 - The Burnout Shadow
Lurinda shares how the "lazy" shadow drives coaches into exhaustion cycles, working constantly to prove they're not lazy, only to burn out and finally give themselves permission to rest.

10:43:00 - The Chameleon Effect
How abandonment wounds cause coaches to shape-shift for each client, creating unsafe containers where neither coach nor client can show up authentically.

22:25:00 - The Perfectionism Trap
Why coaches who fear being seen as "not knowing enough" end up dominating sessions, leaving clients feeling unheard and misunderstood.

29:26:00 - The Cracking Process
Lurinda describes how the Shadow Alchemy immersion allows coaches to move from rigid personas to authentic presence through being witnessed in their mess.

41:05:00 - Integration and Moving Forward
Practical advice for coaches who recognise these shadows in themselves, including how to discern between imposter syndrome and genuine skill gaps.

Resources Mentioned:

• Shadow Alchemy Certification: shadowalchemycoaching.com
• Next Shadow Alchemy immersion: July 4th-6th
• Follow Lurinda: @perspectivebylurinda
• Shadow Alchemy Coaching Academy: @shadowalchemycoachingacademy

Connect with Us:

Loved this episode? Share it with a fellow coach who needs this reality check. Tag us @shadowalchemycoachingacademy with your biggest takeaway.

If you're ready to face your coaching shadows in a container designed for transformation, the next Shadow Alchemy immersion happens July 4th-6th, and prices increase by $1000 after June 30th. This work isn't comfortable, but it's the difference between performing as a coach and actually being one. Apply at shadowalchemycoaching.com when you're ready to stop letting your shadows sabotage your sessions.

In this solo episode of Shadow Work, WTF?, Caitlin is getting honest about one of the most paralysing experiences coaches face - imposter syndrome.

That rising panic before a client call. The second-guessing after a session. The freeze when it’s time to sell your offer. The constant wondering: “Am I actually good at this…or have I just been winging it?”

Whether you’ve just started coaching or you’ve got certifications under your belt, imposter syndrome doesn’t discriminate. It lingers in the background, convincing you that you need to fix yourself before you’re allowed to help anyone else.

In this episode, Caitlin shares the 10 most common signs imposter syndrome is running your coaching business (some you won’t even realise are symptoms), and what it actually takes to build real, embodied confidence - not just the polished Instagram version.

She also opens up about her recent wedding, why she changed her last name (yes, she’s now Caitlin Clark), and how devotion - not perfection - is at the heart of both marriage and coaching.

This episode is for you if:

What we’ll cover:

💬 The 10 subtle signs that imposter syndrome is running your coaching business

🧠 The shame-fuelled belief that you need to be fully healed to help others

⚠️ How overdelivering, overcoaching, and “fixing” your clients can actually be a trauma response

🔎 The difference between fact vs fiction in your self-doubt

👣 The 5 real steps to building embodied confidence (not performative hype)

Resources Mentioned:

Loved this episode? Please rate, review, and share it! Tag @shadowalchemycoachingacademy with your biggest takeaways - we love hearing what landed.

In this revealing episode of Shadow Work, WTF?, Caitlin and Lurinda pull back the curtain on the powerful three-day immersion that stands at the heart of Shadow Alchemy Certification. They explore why this deeply transformative experience isn't just another coaching workshop, but a genuine rite of passage for anyone serious about facilitating shadow work. If you've ever wondered what actually happens during these infamous immersions or why Caitlin considers them non-negotiable for shadow work practitioners, this conversation offers the unfiltered truth about facing your edges, being witnessed in your humanity, and emerging with unshakeable self-trust.

This episode is for you if:

• You're curious about what really happens in a Shadow Alchemy immersion
• You want to understand why simply learning shadow work techniques isn't enough
• You struggle with feeling like an imposter when coaching clients through their shadows
• You're tired of over-preparing and intellectualising instead of truly embodying your work

What we'll cover:

• Why the immersion functions as a modern rite of passage for coaches
• How being witnessed in your most vulnerable state creates a foundation for authentic coaching
• The relationship between shame integration and magnetic presence as a coach
• What to genuinely expect during the immersion (including what happens afterward)

Key Points and Timestamps:

00:00:00 - The Immersion Philosophy

Caitlin explains why the certification includes a three-day immersion and how it differs from other coaching programs that focus only on skill acquisition without embodiment.

08:30:00 - Meeting Your Edges

Why the immersion intentionally creates a container where coaches must face what they've been avoiding, and how this translates to deeper client work.

24:00:00 - The Shame Integration Process

Caitlin reveals how releasing inherited shame creates true aliveness and magnetism in your coaching practice.

40:00:00 - What Actually Happens After

The reality of integration after an immersion experience, including potential physical responses, emotional shifts, and how the team supports graduates.

52:00:00 - The Choice That Changes Everything

Lurinda shares her personal immersion experience and how the pivotal moment of choice creates lasting transformation in coaches' lives and businesses.

Resources Mentioned:

Shadow Alchemy Certification: shadowalchemycoaching.com

Follow Lurinda: @perspectivebylurinda

Shadow Alchemy Coaching Academy: @shadowalchemycoachingacademy

Connect with Us:

Loved this episode? Share your thoughts with us on Instagram @shadowalchemycoachingacademy. We're genuinely curious about what landed for you.

P.S. If you're ready to meet yourself at a deeper level and transform your coaching practice from the inside out, applications for the next Shadow Alchemy immersion in July are now open. This isn't for everyone—and that's the point. Visit shadowalchemycoaching.com to learn more about this rite of passage.

In this solo episode of Shadow Work, WTF?, Caitlin addresses one of the most common frustrations coaches experience: knowing something's missing from their sessions but not understanding how to take clients deeper.

If you've ever felt like you're having the same conversations with clients week after week, exhausting yourself with over-functioning, or avoiding certain topics out of fear, this episode pulls back the curtain on what's really happening.

This episode is for you if:

• Your clients say they "already know" their patterns but nothing's actually changing
• You feel drained after coaching sessions from doing all the heavy lifting
• You secretly doubt whether you can truly deliver the transformations you promise
• You're watching other coaches create profound client breakthroughs while yours stay surface-level

What we'll cover:

• The crucial gap between intellectual awareness and embodied transformation
• Why your clients are stuck in loops and how to break the cycle
• The uncomfortable truth about why you're avoiding going deeper
• How your own fears and shadows are reflecting back through your clients' "stuckness"

Key Points and Timestamps:

00:00:00 - The Coaching Depth Dilemma

Caitlin introduces the common challenge of coaches feeling they can't go deep enough with clients and how this creates imposter syndrome.

05:17:00 - Sign #1: "I Already Know That" Syndrome

When clients intellectualise their patterns but nothing actually changes—the gap between awareness and integration.

09:32:00 - Sign #2: The Repeating Conversation Loop

Why you keep having the same discussions with clients and what's actually happening beneath the surface.

13:18:00 - Sign #3: Exhaustion After Sessions

How over-functioning and trying to "fix" clients creates burnout and prevents true transformation.

18:22:00 - Sign #4: Avoiding Depth Out of Fear

The three core fears preventing coaches from going deeper: re-traumatisation, not holding emotions, and not having answers.

25:05:00 - Sign #5: Performing Instead of Facilitating

When coaching becomes about proving your worth rather than being present with what the client truly needs.

30:12:00 - The Mirror Effect

How your clients' patterns reflect your own areas that need deeper work and the importance of doing your own shadow work.

Resources Mentioned:

Shadow Alchemy Coaching Academy: @shadowalchemycoachingacademy

Shadow Alchemy Coaching Website: shadowalchemycoaching.com

Complete by Caitlin: @completebycaitlin

Connect with Us:

If this episode hit a nerve, I want to hear about it. Screenshot it, share it on your stories, and tag @shadowalchemycoachingacademy with which sign you resonated with most. This could be the wake-up call another coach in your network has been waiting for.

P.S. Ready to stop dancing around the surface with your clients? The Shadow Alchemy Certification isn't about adding more techniques to your toolbox... it's about transforming how you show up as a coach from the inside out. Applications are open at shadowalchemycoaching.com, and yes, you'll speak directly with Caitlin (no gatekeepers here).

In this episode of Shadow Work, WTF?, Caitlin and support coach Lurinda sit down with Mads, a Shadow Alchemy Certification student whose journey from sceptical single mum to shadow work coach reveals the transformative power of embracing vulnerability. What started as judgment toward Lurinda's career shift eventually led Mads to her own breakthrough moment, showing how our strongest resistance often points directly to our deepest healing. This episode dives into the messy reality of feminine and masculine energies, the freedom that comes from surrendering control, and how shadow work creates profound shifts beyond just mindset.

This episode is for you if:

• You pride yourself on being "hyper-independent" but secretly feel exhausted from doing it all
• You've tried traditional therapy but still feel stuck in the same patterns
• You're curious about shadow work but have been skeptical or resistant to trying it
• You're a coach who wants to understand how to create deeper, more lasting transformations for clients

What we'll cover:

• Why our harshest judgments of others always reveal our own shadows
• The misconceptions about feminine/masculine energy and how they impact our ability to receive support
• How shadow work differs from traditional talk therapy in creating rapid transformation
• The real responsibility that comes with being a transformational coach and why proper training matters

Key Points and Timestamps:

00:00:00 - Introduction and Welcome

Caitlin introduces Mads, with Lurinda sharing how they connected and Mads' inspiring journey to Shadow Alchemy.

05:29:00 - The Transformational First Session

Mads shares the powerful shadow work session that changed everything, allowing her to embrace her feminine energy and open up to receiving support.

12:21:00 - The Feminine-Masculine Conversation

A nuanced discussion about what feminine and masculine energies actually mean beyond societal gender roles and gender norms.

25:15:00 - Motherhood and Slowing Down

Exploring how motherhood created a craving for connection and presence despite societal pressure to "do it all."

30:05:00 - Confronting Judgment as Shadow

Mads reveals how her judgment of Lurinda's career shift was actually jealousy of her boldness and confidence.

41:45:00 - Beyond Talk Therapy

Mads discusses the limitations of traditional therapy compared to the action-oriented transformation of shadow work.

48:36:00 - The Ethical Responsibility of Coaches

An important conversation about safety, trauma, and the responsibility coaches have when doing transformational work.

Resources Mentioned:

Shadow Alchemy Coaching Academy: @shadowalchemycoachingacademy

Connect with Mads on Instagram: @madsleonard__

Follow Lurinda: @perspectivebylurinda

Connect with Us:

Loved this episode? Screenshot it, share it, and tag us with your biggest takeaway. Your journey from resistance to transformation might be just what someone else needs to hear today.

P.S. If you've been curious about shadow work but something's been holding you back, this is your sign. The transformation you're resisting is usually exactly what you need. Visit shadowalchemycoaching.com to explore certification or book a session with one of our coaches.