In this episode, we’re looking at three couples from Married at First Sight because they each brought their unresolved shit into the experiment in very different ways.

Courtney is a perfect example of what happens when anxiety takes the wheel:

“If I can get enough reassurance, I’ll finally feel safe.”

Except reassurance never feels like enough, so the testing, nitpicking, criticism, and fear keep escalating.

With Devin and Caitlin, it’s:

“If you love me the way I need to be loved, I’ll finally feel connected.”

Except when two people have completely different needs around affection, independence, and physical touch, waiting for your partner to naturally get it doesn’t create connection. Communication and compromise do.

And then there's Felipe:

“If I get married, I’ll magically become ready to give up my single life.”

Except marriage doesn’t flip a switch. If you haven’t actually grieved your old life and made peace with what you’re giving up, you can end up wanting the commitment and the freedom at the same time.

We’re digging into anxious attachment, the “fake ick,” love language mismatches, fear of commitment, secure attachment, and the uncomfortable truth that getting the relationship you want doesn’t magically make you ready for it. 

Plus, we’re debating whether the MAFS experts are actually helping these couples... or making things worse.

If you’ve ever thought, “Once he does this, I’ll finally feel secure,” “If she loved me differently, we’d be closer,” or “Maybe getting into a relationship will finally make me ready for one,” this episode is for you.

And now we want to turn the mic toward you!

Got a dating or relationship situation you want us to unpack on the podcast? Submit your question and tell us what’s really going on. Submit your question here. (The form takes about 2–3 minutes to fill out.)

You might just hear your question, and our very honest opinions about it, on a future episode of Share the Pants.

Send us Fan Mail

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TikTok: @datingpowers 

This episode breaks down the relationship patterns hiding underneath the drama of Married at First Sight Season 20. From power struggles to compatibility issues, there’s a lot more going on with these couples than meets the eye.

Adam and Marissa’s struggle to find compromise, Nikki and Sean’s escalating power struggle, and Mecca and Belle navigating insecurity and vulnerability aren’t just problems playing out on reality TV. They’re universal relationship patterns that most of us will recognize in our own dating and relationships.

What happens when you want someone to fit into the life you’ve already built instead of creating a life together? How much do shared hobbies actually matter when it comes to compatibility? What happens when chemistry makes you lose yourself? And why can being deeply loved feel terrifying when you’ve experienced abandonment before?

Plus, Nicole and Joel get into one of the biggest differences between a therapist and a coach: sometimes you don’t need another question to find your answer. You need someone willing to tell you the uncomfortable truth.

If you love Married at First Sight but also want to understand what these couples reveal about your own dating and relationship patterns, this episode is for you.

And if you have a dating or relationship question you’d love Nicole and Joel to tackle on the podcast, send it our way. Your question might be the next one we unpack on Share the Pants.

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TikTok: @datingpowers 

What does a healthy first date actually feel like?

People say, "You'll know when you know." But... what does that actually mean?

In this episode, we're taking you back to where it all started.  Our Bumble match, our first messages, and the first date that changed everything. As we relive the night, we realize just how many green flags were there from the very beginning.

We talk about:

• Why one small gesture made a bigger impression than any pickup line ever could
• The surprising conversation that almost convinced Nicole there wouldn't be a second date
• The unexpected moments that made us feel emotionally safe with each other
• The first-date green flags we didn't fully appreciate until much later
• Why we both believe you don't have to play games to build attraction
• Our honest thoughts on chivalry, paying for the first date, and traditional courtship

Whether you're swiping on dating apps, getting ready for a first date, or wondering how healthy relationships actually begin, this episode will give you a real-life look at what compatibility felt like for us.  Not because everything was perfect, but because we both showed up as ourselves.

If you've ever wondered, "How will I know when I find the one?" this episode is for you.

Okay, now it’s your turn. What dating question are you dying to ask but haven’t had anyone answer honestly? 

Drop it in our listener question form. It takes just 2 minutes, and we might answer your question on a future episode of Share the Pants.

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TikTok: @datingpowers 

This episode explores the myth that you have to be the "best version" of yourself before you start dating.

Most people think they need to feel 100% confident before they put themselves out there.

Lose the weight. Heal your trauma. Eliminate all your insecurities.   

But what if confidence isn't a prerequisite for dating? What if dating is actually how confidence grows?

In this episode of Share the Pants, Nicole and Joel share their own stories of dating with insecurities, overcoming self-doubt, and learning that confidence often comes through action, not before it.

You'll hear:

• Why waiting to feel "ready" may be keeping you stuck
• How dating can reveal your biggest insecurities (and why that's a good thing)
• Joel's experience dating without confidence (even after losing weight and quitting smoking)
• Nicole's journey dating as a curvy woman and learning to stop hiding her body
• Why first dates feel awkward for almost everyone
• The concept of "Dating Is a Dojo" and how practice creates confidence
• The difference between healthy nerves and being genuinely unready to date

If you've ever said, "I'll start dating when I feel more confident," this episode is your invitation to stop sitting on the sidelines.

Because you don't need to feel confident to start dating—you might need to start dating to feel confident.

Ready to stop preparing for dating and actually start doing it? Nicole is giving away a limited number of FREE Voxer coaching weeks to singles who are actively dating and ready to build confidence through action. APPLY NOW

Got a dating, marriage, or relationship question you'd love to hear us answer on the podcast? SEND IT IN — we may feature your question in an upcoming episode of Share the Pants.

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TikTok: @datingpowers 

What did Joel have to overcome before finding his queen?

In this deeply personal episode, Joel steps into the spotlight to answer a listener question about the insecurities, struggles, and life experiences that shaped his journey to love.

From being the shy kid who got teased at school, to years of self-doubt, partying, failed goals, weight struggles, and believing he had little to offer a partner, Joel shares the honest story of what kept him stuck and what ultimately helped him move forward.

Along the way, Nicole and Joel unpack confidence, rejection, self-worth, and the difference between becoming perfect versus becoming ready for a healthy relationship.

If you've ever wondered whether your insecurities, past mistakes, or lack of relationship experience are holding you back from finding love, this conversation is for you.

In this episode:
• The confidence struggles that followed Joel from childhood into adulthood
• Why he didn't have a serious relationship until his late 30s
• The self-improvement changes that transformed his life
• What rejection can do to your sense of self-worth
• How the right partner reflects back the best parts of who you already are
• Why finding love isn't about becoming perfect

Plus, Nicole and Joel share their first predictions for the newest season of Married at First Sight and reveal which couples they're rooting for, which ones they're worried about, and who they think won't make it to Decision Day.

Have a question you'd like us to answer on the podcast? Send it our way. We just might feature it in a future episode.

Submit your question HERE (the form takes less than 5 minutes to complete and you can remain anonymous if you like)

Send us Fan Mail

Want more dating advice between episodes?
Follow Nicole on social media
Facebook & Instagram: @iamnicolepowers
TikTok: @datingpowers 

Before the season even aired, Taylor Frankie Paul's run as the Bachelorette became one of the most controversial in franchise history. Now that reports suggest the season air soon and we have a lot of feelings about it.

Was Taylor unfairly villainized? Did ABC knowingly cast someone who wasn't ready for the role? And has The Bachelor lost sight of what made us fall in love with the franchise in the first place?

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why we're so conflicted about watching Taylor's season
• The toxic relationship dynamics between Taylor and Dakota and why it's more complicated than "good guy vs. bad guy"
• Whether ABC bears more responsibility than Taylor herself
• Why emotionally unavailable leads make it harder to believe in the love story
• How reality TV can blur the line between authentic romance and manufactured drama
• Why we believe The Bachelor is at its best when it puts love, not chaos, at the center of the story

Whether you're a longtime Bachelor fan or just fascinated by the psychology of relationships, this conversation goes far beyond reality TV. 

It's about what happens when wounded people try to find love under the brightest spotlight imaginable and whether a franchise built on romance can survive if it starts prioritizing drama over genuine connection.

Are you worried your relationship might be toxic?  Want our advice on your situation?  

Submit a question HERE and we might answer it on air! (you can remain anonymous and the form takes less than 3 minutes to fill out unless you write us a book)

Send us Fan Mail

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TikTok: @datingpowers 

Hear the story behind the name Share the Pants and what it actually means inside Nicole and Joel's marriage.

They talk about wanting a traditional courtship: chivalry, planned dates, clear pursuit, and intentionality without building a marriage around rigid gender roles or power struggles.

They also revisit the early dating moments that shaped their dynamic: Nicole breaking her own rules and asking Joel out, Joel telling her he wasn’t dating anyone else, Nicole admitting she still was, and the honest conversation that eventually helped them decide what they were building together.

In this episode, they unpack:

• Why traditional dating and traditional marriage are not the same thing
• How they handled different dating styles before becoming exclusive
• What sharing the pants looks like in real life
• Why healthy partnership doesn’t always mean 50/50
• How to build a relationship dynamic that actually fits both people

If you’ve ever felt like you don’t fit neatly into one relationship box — too romantic to be fully modern, too independent to be fully traditional — this episode will help you think about love, leadership, partnership, and compatibility in a more honest way.

Do you have a dating or relationship question you’d love us to answer on the podcast?

Ask your question HERE  (it takes less than 5 minutes...unless you decide to write us a novel 😉)  

Send us Fan Mail

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Follow Nicole on social media
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TikTok: @datingpowers 

Our first listener question comes from a woman who's been with her boyfriend for 9 years and is wondering if she's wasting her twenties waiting for a proposal. 

In this episode, Nicole and Joel unpack one of the most common relationship conundrums:  How do you know if you're patiently waiting...or being strung along? 

They discuss:

• Why the length of a relationship isn't always the biggest red flag
• The difference between patience and moving the goalposts
• Why bringing up marriage isn't "pressure"
• How family history can influence someone's views on commitment
• Why love alone isn't enough to build a healthy, lasting marriage

 If you've ever questioned whether to keep waiting, start the conversation, or finally walk away, this episode will give you a fresh perspective on commitment—and the confidence to trust your own timeline. 

Do you have a dating or relationship question you'd like us to tackle on the podcast? 

We'd love to hear from you.

Send us Fan Mail

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TikTok: @datingpowers 

If you think every breakup is a failure, this episode might change your mind.

We're diving into season four of Love on the Spectrum:  from Tyler's unforgettable Christmas-in-July proposal that had us both sobbing to the heartbreaking breakups that reminded us why love isn't enough.

Along the way, we unpack what these couples can teach us about compatibility, communication, vulnerability, love languages, and why sometimes the healthiest relationship decision is to let each other go.

Whether you're dating, engaged, married, or simply obsessed with Love on the Spectrum, this conversation is about much more than reality TV. It's about what healthy love really looks like.

Topics we cover:

• Tyler's proposal and the thoughtful details that made it unforgettable
• What Connor and Georgie's relationship teaches about feeling unseen
• Why Abby and David's breakup was the right decision
• Love languages, unmet needs, and communicating before resentment builds
• Why ending the wrong relationship is an act of love, not failure

 Have a dating or relationship question you want us to answer on the podcast? 

Send us Fan Mail

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TikTok: @datingpowers 

If you've ever said, "The apps are trash," you're not alone. As a dating coach, Nicole hears it every day. And while dating apps can absolutely be frustrating, she and her husband, Joel, met on Bumble.  They believe modern dating gets blamed for the wrong problem.

In this episode, they compare the male and female experience of online dating, share what it was really like dating before they met each other, and explain why rejection, unrealistic expectations, and quick assumptions make dating feel harder these days.

You'll also hear:

• Why men and women often think they have it worse on dating apps
• The surprising "red flag" Joel got judged for
• Why you shouldn't spend weeks messaging before meeting in person
• How to build resilience instead of burning out
• Why the dating app is just a vehicle to get you on the date, not the place to build the relationship

Whether you're exhausted by modern dating, thinking about deleting the apps, or trying to figure out why finding a healthy relationship feels so difficult, this conversation offers a refreshing perspective and a little hope that your person might still be one swipe away.

Want some advice from Nicole + Joel?

Send us Fan Mail

Want more dating advice between episodes?
Follow Nicole on social media
Facebook & Instagram: @iamnicolepowers
TikTok: @datingpowers