In this conversation, I sit down with Jana G. (known as Janaandbooks or Lady Whistle Threads across social media) to discuss something we rarely talk about openly - setting boundaries while living with chronic illness.

Jana shares her journey with long COVID and ME/CFS, offering a glimpse into the reality of navigating life with limited energy reserves. We dive deep into the challenges of graduated exercise therapy, the frustration of post-exertional malaise (PEM), and the practical ways she's learned to create boundaries that protect her wellbeing.

This episode is especially valuable for anyone living with chronic illness, long COVID, ME/CFS, or supporting someone who does. We discuss:

• The sudden impact of long COVID on Jana's teaching career and daily life
• How Jana transitioned from teaching to book content creation as her health changed
• The reality of energy pacing and setting boundaries without explanation or apology
• Why conventional medical advice can sometimes make chronic illness worse
• Practical examples of setting boundaries in work and life with chronic illness
• The uncertainty of planning for the future with a fluctuating condition

For those struggling with similar challenges, Jana recommends The Long COVID Survival Guide, which provided critical guidance when medical help wasn't available. This resource helped her understand the importance of rest in managing her condition.

• Instagram, TikTok, and Threads: @janaandbooks
• Subscribe to her newsletter: Lady Whistle Threads (free and paid tiers available)

• ME Action Network - Information and advocacy for ME/CFS patients

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Buoy Hydration

In this special episode of "Sharing the Middle," I share my top 10 lessons learned from being in the messy middle of life… and that maybe I don’t dislike the middle as much as before?

I talk about how being uncomfortable is actually okay (though it took me forever to learn this), and that emotions aren't good or bad - they're just information. One of my biggest revelations: the quickest way through difficult feelings is to actually feel them rather than avoid them. And sometimes things just suck - no silver lining required!

I explore how everyone's middle looks different yet somehow similar, which creates space for empathy. I've found that the more I learn, the less I know, which keeps me curious and open to wonder - something that's carried me through my darkest times.

As always, I invite you to join our Joyful Support Village, a place I'm pouring my heart into. Take what resonates from these lessons, adapt them to your own life, and maybe, just maybe, you'll start to appreciate the middle a bit more like I have. It's still not my favorite place, but I'm learning to navigate it with more grace and even find joy along the way!

• Life isn't a math problem, man; there's no one right answer to how we live it.
• Discomfort is just a signal, not a bad thing; it can lead to real change!
• Emotions are like weather; they come and go, and it's okay to just let them be.
• Sometimes things just suck, and that's totally fine; no need to force a silver lining.

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Mentioned in this episode:

Cubtail

Cubtale

In this episode, Joe and I dive deep into the joys and challenges of parenting, particularly with our growing family after welcoming our third child! We discuss how we're managing surprisingly well with a newborn and two older kids - we're actually getting sleep (miracle of miracles!) and taking care of our mental health.

We explore the importance of giving kids tools to become independent adults while maintaining relationships where they still want us around even when they don't need us. Joe brilliantly summed it up: "I want to parent so that my kids never need me, but create a relationship where they still want to have me around."

We also touched on the importance of self-care as parents. Joe's been balancing work and family by taking two days of paternity leave weekly after his initial five weeks off. While the work days are packed, he's handling it well - much better than with our previous children, thanks to prioritizing his mental health.

What started as a conversation about whether having a third child was responsible actually revealed how much better things are now than before. It was a wonderful reminder that sometimes the things that seem most challenging can bring unexpected joy and growth. Despite the occasional falling objects on toes (ouch!), we're thriving as a family of five!

• Lacey's mental health has improved significantly after taking a break and welcoming their third child.
• Joe shares how his extended paternity leave has made a massive difference in parenting this time around.
• The couple emphasizes the importance of sharing their own experiences rather than their children's stories to respect their privacy.
• They discuss the ups and downs of parenting kids at different stages, from newborn to school age.
• Lacey reflects on how her chronic illness shaped her pregnancy experiences and the lessons learned along the way.
• The duo highlights the challenges of teaching kids about kindness and managing their behavior influenced by peers.

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Mentioned in this episode:

Cubtail

Cubtale

Buoy Hydration

The inaugural episode of Joy Moments elucidates the profound significance of small moments shared among individuals, which, as we contend, create ripples of joy that can transcend the mundane. Sara and I, Lacey, embark on this journey to explore the concept of joy, not as an exclusive focus on positivity but as an essential counterbalance to life's inevitable challenges, which we refer to metaphorically as "shit sandwiches." Through our dialogue, we emphasize that joy can coexist with adversity, and that recognizing fleeting moments of happiness can enhance our overall well-being. This podcast is a manifestation of our longstanding desire to cultivate a supportive community that shares and celebrates these joyful instances, inviting listeners to contribute their own experiences. Join us as we delve into the art of noticing joy amidst life's complexities, fostering a collective effort to generate a ripple effect of happiness in our lives and the lives of others.

In the first episode of Joy Moments, the hosts, Lacey and Sara, delve into the concept of joy and its transformative power within everyday life. They articulate the importance of recognizing 'joy moments'—those small instances that can uplift our spirits even amidst the trials and tribulations we may face. Through heartfelt anecdotes and personal experiences, the hosts illustrate how they have practiced gratitude and joy in their own lives and invite listeners to join them in this exploration. The episode is structured around the idea that acknowledging joy does not negate the struggles we encounter, but rather provides a necessary counterbalance that enriches our existence.

The discussion unfolds with an emphasis on the joyful support movement, which serves as the framework for the podcast. Lacey and Sara introduce listeners to the three integral components of this movement: storytelling, taking steps toward joy, and ultimately experiencing joy itself. They stress that this is not a simplistic pursuit of happiness that disregards life's difficulties; rather, it is about finding the joy that can coexist with those challenges. The hosts share personal stories that reveal their individual journeys toward cultivating an awareness of joy, including practices they have established in their households to encourage reflection on daily experiences.

As the episode progresses, the hosts delve into the significance of community and connection in fostering joy. They invite listeners to share their own moments of joy, thereby contributing to a collective narrative that highlights the beauty found in small, everyday moments. This call to action not only encourages engagement but also reinforces the idea that joy can be contagious, creating a ripple effect that spreads positivity within and beyond our immediate circles. Ultimately, this inaugural episode serves as a clarion call for listeners to embrace joy in its myriad forms, thus embarking on a shared journey of discovery and connection.

Takeaways:

• The podcast emphasizes the importance of small moments shared to create ripples of joy in our lives.
• Lacy and Sara have dreamt of creating the Joy Moments podcast for an extended period, and they are thrilled to finally launch it.
• The Joy Moments philosophy encourages listeners to recognize joy amidst life's challenges without ignoring the negativity present.
• Listeners are invited to share their own joy moments, fostering a community of positivity and support in the face of life's adversities.

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Lacey opens up about her journey through pregnancy, sharing her experiences as a soon-to-be mother while managing chronic illness. At 31 weeks pregnant, she reflects on the challenges and triumphs she's faced, highlighting that this pregnancy has been easier than her previous ones due to better management of her nausea and chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS). However, she candidly discusses the toll pregnancy takes on her body, including the fatigue and the complications of gestational diabetes, which adds another layer of complexity to her pregnancy experience. Lacey emphasizes the importance of sharing these realities, noting that pregnancy is often a difficult middle ground between anticipation and uncertainty.

As she delves deeper, Lacey articulates the emotional struggle of navigating motherhood while managing chronic illness. She acknowledges that there are no quick fixes to her situation, framing it more as a journey of finding ways to thrive rather than a problem to solve. This perspective is particularly poignant as she discusses the intersection of her parenting journey with her health challenges, revealing the complexities of caring for a toddler while preparing for a newborn. The conversation covers her feelings of inadequacy at times and the societal pressures to 'fix' problems, which do not apply to her current realities.

The episode culminates in Lacey's commitment to continue sharing her experiences with her audience, albeit with a pause in the podcast's regular schedule as she adjusts to her changing life. Her sincerity, humor, and vulnerability resonate throughout the conversation, inviting listeners to reflect on their own messy middles in life, whether in pregnancy, parenting, or managing health challenges. Lacey's message encourages patience and understanding, both from herself and her audience, as she balances the demands of motherhood, chronic illness, and personal growth.

Takeaways:

• Lacey shares her experience of managing pregnancy alongside chronic illness, highlighting the unique challenges involved.
• She discusses the emotional impact of being a manifestor in human design during pregnancy.
• The importance of honesty and vulnerability in sharing the messy middle of life is emphasized.
• Managing food choices and diabetes during pregnancy adds complexity to her daily life.
• Lacey reflects on her struggles with the intersection of parenting and chronic illness.
• She acknowledges that not every problem can be fixed, emphasizing the need for acceptance.

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Mentioned in this episode:

Cubtail

Cubtale

Lacey welcomes Heather Vickery to the podcast for an enlightening conversation that dives deep into the realms of human design, personal transformation, and the journey toward embracing authenticity. Heather, a transformational success coach, shares her unique approach to helping individuals lead from a place of joy and empowerment. The discussion highlights the significance of human design as a tool for self-discovery, showcasing how understanding one’s design can lead to greater self-acceptance and a more fulfilling life. Through the lens of their own experiences, both Lacey and Heather explore the challenges of societal expectations and the power of radical responsibility in shaping one’s reality.

Throughout their dialogue, Heather recounts her personal journey of dismantling her previous life to build a more authentic existence. She emphasizes the importance of being present in the moment, suggesting that true growth occurs in the messy, unpredictable spaces of life. Listeners are encouraged to explore their own definitions of joy and success, challenging the conventional narratives that often dictate our paths. Heather’s insights on the necessity of rest for projectors and the broader implications of self-awareness resonate deeply, inspiring listeners to reflect on their own journeys and the choices they make.

The episode culminates in a thought-provoking discussion about motherhood, sacrifice, and the importance of modeling self-love for future generations. Heather’s perspective on parenting, where she balances her dreams and responsibilities, offers a refreshing take on what it means to be a supportive parent while maintaining one’s individuality. This conversation not only provides practical advice for navigating life’s complexities but also serves as a reminder that embracing our true selves is a powerful act of bravery. Whether you’re familiar with human design or new to the concept, this episode will leave you with valuable insights to apply to your life and relationships.

• Embracing the messy parts of life is essential for personal growth and authenticity.
• Human design helps us understand our unique energies and how to navigate life.
• Radical responsibility means recognizing that we can only change ourselves, not others.
• To achieve true joy in life, we must learn to lead from our authentic selves.
• Choosing to be present in the middle of life’s chaos opens up possibilities for growth.
• Self-awareness and regular reassessment are crucial for creating meaningful change in our lives.

• vickeryandco.com
• Instagram

Mentioned in this episode:

Cubtail

Cubtale

Lacey’s conversation with Amy Kemp is a deep dive into the intricacies of navigating life's challenges, especially in the context of personal goals and societal expectations. The dialogue begins with Lacey’s lighthearted introduction, where she shares her triumphs of the week, before transitioning into more profound topics surrounding ambitions and the everyday struggles of motherhood, health, and personal fulfillment. Amy, who runs her own business while raising children, reflects on a moment that changed her career trajectory: a meeting with a financial advisor who bluntly told her she wasn't making enough money despite outward success. This moment triggered a series of introspective decisions that led her to reevaluate her priorities and the way she defined success.

Throughout the episode, the theme of boundaries emerges prominently. Lacey and Amy dissect how traditional views of success—working harder, achieving more—often lead to burnout and dissatisfaction. They advocate for a more nuanced approach where setting boundaries becomes a vital tool for maintaining mental and emotional health. As they share personal stories and insights, listeners are encouraged to rethink their relationships with their goals, emphasizing that it’s okay to take breaks and that progress often occurs in the messy, unstructured spaces of life. This episode is not just about achieving success but about redefining what that means in a way that aligns with one’s true self, providing listeners with actionable advice on how to embrace their unique journeys.

Takeaways:

• Living in alignment with your priorities often requires daily decisions and setting boundaries.
• Bravery often coexists with fear, and acknowledging that is part of the journey.
• Investing in yourself is not selfish; it's essential for personal growth and well-being.
• The messy middle of life can be navigated by embracing discomfort and uncertainty.
• Success is not just about hard work; it's about feeling worthy and valued first.
• It's important to eliminate guilt when investing time and money into self-care and growth.

Links referenced in this episode:

• amykemp.com
• Amy's Book
• Amy's Instagram

Mentioned in this episode:

Cubtail

Cubtale

Jori O'Neal shares her powerful journey through identity, motherhood, and the complexities of navigating different cultural spaces in this heartfelt conversation. We delve into her experiences of being a minority in predominantly different environments and the emotional toll it has taken on her. Jori opens up about the struggles of shape-shifting to fit in while simultaneously trying to embrace her authentic self. As she reflects on her seven years of continuous pregnancies, Jori highlights the challenges of balancing personal identity with societal expectations and the pressures of motherhood. This episode is a reminder of the importance of self-awareness and the courage it takes to show up as our true selves, even in spaces that may feel unsafe or unwelcoming.

Embracing the raw and real aspects of life, Lacey welcomes Jori O'Neal to discuss her experiences with identity, motherhood, and mental health. Jori, a dedicated educator and bestselling author, shares her compelling story of navigating life as a minority in various settings, including predominantly white spaces. The conversation begins by delving into Jori's upbringing in Chicago, where she was surrounded by a community that mirrored her own identity, contrasting sharply with her later experiences in diverse environments. Jori articulates the emotional labor involved in shape-shifting to fit societal expectations, a theme that resonates throughout the discussion. The exploration of identity is both poignant and relatable, as listeners are invited to reflect on their own experiences of conformity and authenticity.

The dialogue takes a deeply personal turn as Jori candidly discusses her journey through motherhood, including the challenges of pregnancy and postpartum depression. Having been pregnant seven times in seven years, Jori reflects on the immense pressure and emotional strain that comes with such a reality. Lacey and Jori tackle the often-taboo subject of maternal mental health, emphasizing the need for open conversations and support for women navigating these experiences. Jori's honesty about her struggles invites listeners to understand the complexities of motherhood beyond the surface, advocating for a shift in societal perceptions around mental health and resilience in women. This part of the episode serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of acknowledging one’s struggles and seeking help when needed.

As the episode progresses, Lacey and Jori engage in a meaningful discussion about the significance of community and intentional friendships. Jori emphasizes the joy that comes from cultivating relationships that uplift and support, highlighting the importance of surrounding oneself with individuals who genuinely understand and appreciate one’s journey. The conversation culminates in a powerful call to action, encouraging listeners to embrace their true selves, foster authentic connections, and prioritize their mental health. This episode is a heartfelt exploration of the messy middle of life, filled with valuable insights and encouragement for anyone navigating their own challenges. It serves as a reminder that while the path may be fraught with difficulties, it is also rich with opportunities for growth, understanding, and connection.

• Navigating identity is a messy, ongoing process that requires self-awareness and courage.
• The importance of recognizing your own needs and setting boundaries in relationships.
• Jori's experience with motherhood illustrates the challenges of maintaining one's identity amidst societal expectations.
• Taking the time to evaluate friendships can lead to more meaningful connections and joy.
• The conversation highlights how trauma and upbringing shape our perceptions of scarcity and self-worth.
• Embracing vulnerability allows for authentic connections, impacting both personal and familial relationships.

Website

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Book

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Cubtail

Cubtale

Lacey and Joe dive into the complexities of marriage and the importance of celebrating their relationship on a special trip, a long-awaited journey that symbolizes their commitment. As they discuss the ups and downs of travel—especially for Lacy, who is navigating chronic illness and pregnancy—listeners are invited to reflect on their own experiences with the messy middle of life. The couple emphasizes that marriage is a personal journey, unique to each pair, filled with humor, struggles, and the need for open communication. They share insights about what makes their relationship work, including shared values and the significance of laughter. This heartfelt conversation is not just about travel or anniversaries; it's a reminder that prioritizing love and connection is essential, no matter the challenges life throws your way.

Takeaways:

• Lacey shares her excitement about an unexpected trip that became a celebration of her marriage.
• Traveling while chronically ill and pregnant presents unique challenges and emotional hurdles.
• The importance of humor in a marriage can significantly contribute to its success and resilience.
• Lacey emphasizes that every marriage is unique, shaped by individual needs and values.
• Good communication is essential for navigating differences in marriage, especially on important values.
• The couple discusses how making their wedding about their desires helped reduce their nerves.

Companies mentioned in this episode:

• Amazon
• Freevee

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Kandice Shaw shares her powerful journey of navigating the complexities of caregiving and personal growth through yoga. As a yoga teacher and trainer, she reflects on the emotional challenges of caring for her grandparents while striving to pursue her passion for yoga. The conversation delves into the messy middle of life, highlighting the struggle of balancing different identities and responsibilities, especially during times of grief and loss. Kandice also emphasizes the importance of asking for help and the relief that can come when support is offered by loved ones. Through her experiences, she illustrates how the lows of life can lead to deeper understanding and connection, ultimately paving the way for new opportunities and personal freedom.

Takeaways:

• Kandice Shaw emphasizes the importance of yoga as a means of personal transformation beyond just teaching.
• The emotional journey of caregiving can deeply impact one's personal identity and mental health.
• Grief is a complex experience that can coexist with feelings of relief after losing a loved one.
• Asking for help is often difficult, but it is essential for maintaining well-being during tough times.
• The balance between personal growth and caregiving can create a challenging emotional landscape.
• Finding supportive relationships can significantly ease the burden during life transitions and losses.

Kandice's Instagram

Sangha Yoga Site

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