"If I seem mean when I tell you no, just know that I am being very kind to myself."

In this episode, I talk about a trend I have been floating on social media, the idea that setting boundaries, advocating for oneself, being kind to yourself, may have the added flavor to it that somehow you are being mean. To who exactly? 

Are ingrained responses we have  that powerful as to manifest in worrying about are we being mean by putting our own mental and physical health first?

Sometimes it is the narrative that we tell ourselves, sometimes it is legitimately those who are the most confined in their poor behavior by the boundaries we are setting with them that tell us, we are mean now that we are healing. 

But healing has to be an internal priority, where you simply say, with no reservation, if I don't do this for myself, there may be no real self left for those people who preferred the old version of me. And I no longer want to exist as that version.

"That can look really fucking mean to the people who benefitted from your lack of boundaries."

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