What a terrible lie to tell yourself, to justify poor behavior on someone else's part. Abuse comes in all forms, granted there are levels to it and we are not talking about disagreements. We are discussing on this episode, real dysfunction that hasn't risen to the level of physical, but it still more than anyone should endure. 

Why do we do that? Could it be growing up and being told, "You're too much." "You're too sensitive, you need to stop crying." How often can becoming numb to that critique in your life, lead to accepting treatment from someone that crosses every acceptable relational code?

"It's a vicious cycle, and it doesn't stop until you decide it stops." I would love to hear you repeat what I share in this episode, "I don't choose this for myself anymore."

This is a bit of a short form dive into conversations I am having all too often, about the state of some relationships that linger on under the guise of, but they aren't hitting me. I don't think that should be the barrier to be broken to demand that change occurs in how you allow yourself to be treated. 

But as I said in this episode, "We don't talk about it enough, so talk about it."

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This weeks episode is a short but sweet one, discussing the difference between healing or isolating and my personal journey on both sides of that equation. 

One of the things to consider, healing loudly can look like leaning on others, delving into working on your attachment style, patterns of behavior or deep introspective work. 

There is a difference between isolating and going inward to heal, I talk about what both of those spaces felt like for me. 

One thing to remember, which I touch on, is enjoying breaks in this and enjoying where you are and the work you have done, something I have to give myself grace and remind myself to do regularly. Be kind to yourself on this, it isn't always easy, but it is always worth it. 

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This episode is a story of courage, willpower, an indomitable spirit, and healing. 

She shares the brutal beginning of her life, the darkness of addiction, yet the strength to re-parent herself and become the mother her daughters deserve. In her words, “Seeing the face of my daughter was having a reason to live…. I’ve seen so much death and re-birth….. Life keeps on life’ing….”

She talks about the profound journey she has embarked on and how she has learned to connect with herself, a process she describes as the trilogy of healing. She is a woman whose hands and heart have spent years in service to others.

She is a skilled massage therapist who understands the power of touch not just for the body, but for the soul. She's a devoted mother, a proud new grandmother, and a natural healer whose compassion radiates through everything she does. Her work goes beyond muscles and tension - she helps people release, restore, and reconnect with themselves. 

Please join me in welcoming Jennifer.

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"You're not doing enough, you're not being enough...."

These are the stories I have told myself, amongst other things throughout life. Why is that? Why do we do that to ourselves? More importantly, how do we do better for ourselves?

This episode is a bit of a pivot, as the first take of it had a tech glitch and was not able to be uploaded. While I had accomplished it, it didn't fully speak to me, so the tech fairies granted me another opportunity, albeit at the 11th hour. This one was so much deeper and aligned with where I wanted to be for this episode.

In between takes, I had a pretty deep break through in a specific emotional space and in the course of that, had some intense shame feelings poke through. These are also part of the stories we unfortunately tell ourselves. I have worked on that feeling a lot over the years and while it has lessened, it still sometimes hits me. 

But, as I discuss during this, that tide is turning and the power of the female voice is being amplified. I for one, could not be more ecstatic about it and I am excited to have this opportunity to be a small contributor to that movement. 

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This episode is dedicated to Sanchez, my companion through many years, miles, states and stages of life. 

Grief is something that will find us all, in some form or another, occupying different periods in time and learning to navigate the many stages of grieving. Whether a loved one, beloved pet, meaningful relationship or something else impactful in life, we all must face the challenge of grieving, while still living. 

How does one do that?

The loss of Sanchez brought this topic right into the forefront recently, so I decided to pivot to discussing this and how I am learning to live with a big void left by his passing. I am not experienced with this type of loss and processing grief, so I decided to share what was on my heart and what I am finding helps. 

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This is beyond exciting for me as an episode, in so many ways. First, I host my very first guest. My intent with this platform as it grows and we get moving is to have many guests on, to tell their stories, share their growth and celebrate our achievements as women in many facets. That has to start somewhere, and this is the episode for it!

Second, this is my friend Korin who I have not seen in person in well over a decade!! Time flies and it was so great to be back in each other's space and not only catch up, but allow her to share some of the struggles she has had in life. 

Please join me as I sit down with her and give her the space to share her journey as well as the growth and resilience she has shown over the years, after navigating some pretty challenging life events. 

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On the last episode, you heard a portion of my life story, in all of its raw, dark moments. In this episode I attempt to share some deeper reflections on some of the details of that time period, such as signs leading up to the abuse, how I was particularly vulnerable at that point in time and my best, non expert advice for recognizing when you could be susceptible to abuse. 

Bear in mind, this is never a survivors fault. Abusers exploit many small moments long before the "big" moments happen. Some of them may purposely seek out partners in these more fragile states, others may just be pre disposed to exploiting their partners when the opportunity presents itself. 

My hope in this episode is to give some more context to the story and what I have tried to piece together as I rebuild life after this event. This is also an attempt at helping people realize when they or a loved one are in the midst of an abusive relationship and some ideas for extricating yourself from it or navigating a conversation with someone you see could be in one.

If you or a loved one need help the below listed resources are free, specialize in domestic abuse and are highly confidential. There is a Live Chat and Text option as well.

National Domestic Violence Hotline

tel:1.800.799.7233 (SAFE)

Text "START" to 88788

https://www.thehotline.org/

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This episode, while vital in understanding why I needed to start this journey, this podcast and why I am passionate about uplifting women, also needs to come with a warning. It is not pleasant. It is not pretty. It is not packaged in a softly palatable way. It spells out very bluntly, a graphic depiction of domestic violence and how I came to find myself in a living nightmare, the kind I believed only happened to other people. 

If you are also a survivor, this may bring up difficult feelings or transport you back to a place you would rather not visit. I understand and support if you cannot listen. 

But also, monsters live in the dark. Hopefully, if enough of us tell our stories, share our experiences of healing and shine light on how these relationships develop in the first place, the monsters who perpetrate them will crawl deeper under their rocks and stay there. 

Thank you for allowing me to be vulnerable and share. 

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In my very first episode, I run through who I am,  why I am doing this, what I hope to accomplish and briefly what I think this could look like. This has been a dream for some time, to have a sacred space for women to find themselves, as I have been slowly discovering myself. 

I wasn't sure what this would look like, but as I recently began discovering more of my voice and in the process of creating an in person women's circle, I realized that this medium could broaden that circle and embraced the unknown. 

So here we are, making logos, recording intros and listening to my own voice and realizing it holds more power than I have given myself credit for. So as terrifying as this experience is, to lean into all of this and bring it forth, to not do so would be more terrifying at this point. 

I hope you enjoy!

If you enjoy the content, please like, subscribe and leave a comment. I love the feedback and I am always interested in future ideas!