SHEGZNSTUFF | Scripture, Soul Care & Everyday Faith

That question is one that many pastors have pondered in the middle of their sermon delivery, and for good reason too! It is not uncommon when preaching to assume many of our listeners are experiencing the same life circumstances we ourselves are in. As preachers, we may sometimes be inclined to prepare and teach our sermons with people like “us” in mind (the smaller your church, the more likely this is). 

Yet, we’re often ministering to congregations with sweeping life situations. Your sermon on raising a godly family is being heard not only by the fairly happily married young couple with twins, but also by the divorced-and-remarried-twice man, the grandfather estranged from his kids, the single-and-desperate-for-marriage young lady, and the college student who is secretly gay.

As pastors, preachers, and communicators of God’s Word, we need to enter into the lives of those we’re called to minister to and learn to speak the Living Words of Christ into their circumstances so that they feel like we understand exactly what they went through the week prior.

When we do this regularly, and in agreement with the Holy Spirit’s leading, it will result in dramatically transforming sermons that lead to spiritually thriving congregations. So if you will, allow me to share 10 life situations of the people I find myself ministering to on any given Sunday, some of who will be sitting in YOUR church this weekend eager to hear from the Lord through you. 

They are carrying on their single shoulders the responsibility of two people, multiplied by the number of children they have. They’re probably working multiple jobs to make ends meet, and perhaps are still reeling from the impact of separation.  

When you preach to them, remind them that your church is a welcome home for them no matter what they’ve experienced in their background. Show them that any shame or guilt they may be carrying has already been nailed to the cross, and Christ has promised never to leave them or forsake them. Remind them that Jesus was at one point raised by a single mother (after Joseph was out of the picture), and remind them of the legacy that Timothy’s mother and grandmother left for the young pastor in his early years (2 Timothy 1:5).

Life is lonely for them. They may or may not be estranged from their kids/grandkids, but they are not in regular contact for them. Furthermore, the world has become too technological advanced for them which deepens their sense of isolation because there’s a lot they’re not able to engage in. They may not be able to relate with all the current trends of the youth, and they miss the world they once grew up in.

When you preach to them, remind them of older men and women in the Bible who left a lasting godly legacy. Remind them that they have a LOT to offer by virtue of the fact that they have lived twice, thrice, sometimes four times as long as many in the congregation. Their wins and failures serve as powerful life lessons they can share with those who are yet to live it. Encourage them with Psalm 145:4 and urge them to commend to the next generation the mighty works of God they experienced in their lifetime.

It may seem odd that I’ve added this group to this list, but in my present ministry context in Jos, Nigeria, they are the norm and I have had to relearn how to convey the Father’s great love to people who have no dads at home. Either through abandonment or death, these individuals have never heard the affirming words of a father saying to them, “I love you and I am proud of you.”  As a result, the orphan in your audience may struggle to relate with your constant reference to “our loving Father in heaven.”

When you preach to them, uphold the picture of God the Father as the perfect picture of what our earthly fathers (tried) tried but failed to be. Remind them from Ephesians 1 that God chose and adopted them into His family, not because of anything they had done, but simply because it pleased God to do so. Get up close and personal and remind your orphans that you are proud of them, and you’ll be there for them should they need a listening ear.

They are at your church and in your audience not just because life hasn’t lived up to its hype, but more importantly because God has been working on their hearts and the Holy Spirit has been drawing them near. Remember that! No man can come to the God Father unless the God the Father initiates the process. For this reason, they don’t need you to beat them over the head with your hell-fire sermons because its imminent reality is part of what has brought them to your church. 

So a few things. First, when you preach to them, remember that they don’t speak church-lingo and they don’t know church history. When you say things like, “Remember what the prophet Elijah said?” or “Let’s walk in the freedom of the Spirit through the blood that set us free!”, THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU MEAN! Explain Jesus to them as you would to a young kid and go out of your way to paint the picture of their loving Father in heaven seeking out His lost son (them). Remember, what they most need to hear is that Jesus loves them, died for them, and rose again, and Jesus alone can reconcile them back into a right relationship with God…. so basically… stick to the Gospel!

Though they look as well put together as can be, they just had another huge fight before coming to church and words were spoken that cut so deep that it is distracting from hearing your sermon. Whether due to adultery, abuse, or just really terrible communication, both or at least one of them has already decided the marriage is going to end. 

When you preach to them, uphold marriage as an institution that God Himself established from the beginning starting with Adam and Eve. Hence it is not a covenant one should easily toss away. Remind them that Jesus compared the relationship of husband and wife to His relationship with the church (Ephesians 5:25-27). Then really quickly shift to the reality of godly married couples in the scriptures who got it wrong a lot of the time. Abraham didn’t always do right by Sarah, yet He remains the patriarch of our faith. David, the man after God’s own heart didn’t exactly start off as husband material when he met Bathsheba. Of course, let’s not forget that Adam was ready to blame all of humanity’s problem on Eve when God confronted him about the first sin (Genesis 3:12). 

The point is to show them that one sinful person saved by God’s grace plus another sinful person saved by the same grace DOES NOT equal happily ever after. Help them see that marriage is a lifetime marathon with many peaks and valleys couples will need to work HARD through. If you feel ill-equipped to do this, then point them in the direction of the best Christian marriage counselor you know.  

Their tithes and offerings probably cover about a third of your overall church budget. Yet, you must be careful not to cater your sermons to them. They need to hear the full truths of scripture, even the hard and uncomfortable ones just as much as the middle class and the poor in your audience. 

When you preach to them, help them see from the scriptures that all their material possession is a gift entrusted to them by God to manage for a season. Please read that last statement again. Help them see that true wealth doesn’t come from accumulating more on earth (Luke 12:20), but true wealth comes by investing wisely in things that will last for all eternity, (namely, people and the spreading of the Gospel; Mathew 6:19-21). Teach and help them become Biblically prepared to answer the ultimate question God will ask every believer at the end of the age, “What did you do with all that I entrusted to you?” (2 Corinthians 5:10; Matthew 16:27)

They are career-minded, and their lives revolve around their friendship with other singles. They love Jesus and would like to meet someone with whom they can grow a family that also loves Jesus. Yet, they may be frustrated that the marriage-material options in your church looks slim and are eyeing other churches in the community with more singles. On the other end of the spectrum, they may be visiting your church simply because you have a sweeping number of singles. 

When you preach to them, help them see that this season of singleness is a gift unlike any other period in their adulthood (1 Corinthians 7:34). When you’re preaching about family, love, and relationships, be sure to include in your sermon their single life stage and the experiences they go through. Consider teaching a Biblical series on singleness (Song of Solomon, Ruth, Jacob and Rachel, etc). Perhaps most importantly, create roles for them within your church to serve and invite them to be a part of the community. (I personally love the vision of having each family in the congregation adopt one or two singles where they open up their home for them to visit and do life together with). 

This person is restless in good way. In a best-case scenario, they are eager to jump into any ministry opportunity available and are constantly on the forefront of starting new ministries in your church to reach new people. In a worst-case scenario, they are restless in an unhealthy way and may accuse you of not doing enough to reach lost people in the community, or may feel like serving in your church is stifling them from being/doing all God has called them to.

When you preach to them, first of all, don’t condemn them, and don’t kick them out (unless of course they are truly toxic, in which case, bye!) The reality though for many congregants like this is that they may have the gift of evangelism and an apostolic type calling on their life which makes them the perfect candidate for missionary-type work. The key to ministering to them is to intentionally coach them, then launch them into a ministry outside the church that fits their giftings. Stay in touch with them when they hit a roadblock (which they will) and remind them of Paul’s missionary journeys and trials.

Teach them not only about the spiritual highs you experience serving the LORD, but also about the dark nights of the soul when you’ve considered quitting ministry. Most of all, remind them that ministry isn’t about starting off with fireworks and a bang, but it is about persevering every step of the way, and finishing the race well so that “…when the Chief Shepherd appears, [they] will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away.” (1 Peter 5:1-4) 

This person is struggling with whether to continue being a part of the church or to jump in full-fledged with the LGBT community. They’ve remained in church either due to tradition or because of a genuine encounter they had/have with Jesus Christ. They are, however, battling between what they are hearing from the pulpit about the Bible’s condemnation of homosexuality and a changing culture that says, “You are just the way God created you.”

When you preach to them, first of all, understand that the main issue is their relationship with God, not their sexuality. Certainly, their relationship with God includes their sexuality, but it isn’t the totality of who they are. Take the time to learn about the whole person (them), and remember that ALL of us struggle with relationships, identity and sexuality. No matter what label they choose to place on themselves, view them as a man or woman made in the image of God, not as a “homosexual” or a “project.” Perhaps most importantly is to point them to Jesus, NOT to Heterosexuality. Above all else, Jesus Christ is who they need to look more like, so continually hold up Jesus and His words as the model of what godliness can and should look like in their life. Let Christ do the work of conforming them into His image!

A case can be made that this is your most important audience because you are first and foremost the pastor of your home before you are a pastor at church (1 Timothy 3:5). Besides, your wife and kids know the real you and can tell if what you are saying from the pulpit matches up with who you are at home. 

For this group, your sermon and ministry starts at home. A good habit that I have learned over the years is to share with my family through the week what I’m learning about the sermon I am preaching the coming weekend. It’s nothing formal, but more of a, “Hey, guess what I learned today about Moses’ brother and sister when they were young?” This has actually resulted in a win for my family because when Sunday comes around and they hear me preach the full message, they already feel like they have the inside scoop no one else has! The other important lesson to keep in mind when it comes to your family is to extend to them the same grace that you extend to your congregation. Lead them by example in their faithfulness to God, but allow them the space and grace grow in their love for Jesus at their own pace. 

And that, my friends are the 10 life situations to keep in mind when you’re preaching this weekend.

Now, if you’re a pastor or a regular communicator, you might be experiencing one of two reactions to this list. On the one hand, you might find it encouraging and eye-opening because you now have a better understanding of how and who to address your sermon to. On the other hand, however, you might find my list frustrating because you’re wondering how in the world you’re supposed to address all these different life statutes in one sermon.

So, here’s the deal. You can’t speak to everyone’s life situation in every sermon.

Prepare each sermon with the knowledge of the people God has entrusted to your care. In other words, you need to know your flock/audience. Your intimate knowledge of their lives and their stories, combined with the awe-inspiring power of the Holy Spirit working in you and in them, will result in sermons that cut through all their life clutter and speaks directly to their hearts.

This means that sometimes, in the middle of a sermon, when you spot a congregant who's story you know, you may need to quickly pivot your intended sermon direction to speak to their situation Biblically (in a way that doesn't embarrass them, hence the need for complete reliance on the Holy Spirit during preaching).

Brothers and sisters in the pulpit, as you step up to the pulpit to preach this weekend, I pray that the Author of Life fills you to overflow and empowers you in order that those entrusted to you might experience the fullness of Christ in every aspect of their lives!

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This was the thought streaming through my mind in recent weeks as the world observed a lavish, multimillion-dollar spectacle in Egypt where 22 mummies (18 kings and four queens) were transported from their former neo-classical Egyptian Museum to their new resting place three miles away at the new National Museum of Egyptian Civilisation.

With tight security arrangements befitting the Queen of England herself, the mummies were transported with great fanfare in chronological order of their reigns - from the 17th Dynasty ruler, Seqenenre Taa II, to Ramses IX, who reigned in the 12th Century BC in what was called, “The Pharaohs' Golden Parade.“

Now, I’m not a party-pooper. I love a good outdoor party and I certainly appreciate history, but I saw great irony in the lavishness being accorded to corpses. Despite all the shiny glitz and glamour surrounding their relocation, each and every one of those once-mighty kings and queens still remains dead.

I fear that “The Pharaohs Golden Parade” may be a realistic picture of the morbid reality surrounding the global church today.

A recent survey from Pew Research Center revealed that there are already more Christians in Africa than any other continent. Specifically, it noted that Nigeria’s Christian population, already the largest on the continent, is projected to double by 2060. 

If you’ve visited Nigeria lately, you’ve already witnessed firsthand this dramatic growth in the making. The explosion in the number of church structures across big cities and rural areas is unmistakable. In some instances, some mega church sites are the size of small cities, complete with its own police force, residential housing, roads, garbage collection, supermarkets, banks, a fun fair, and post offices.

Talk about having the Church’s Golden Parade!

So, with this level of Christian saturation, one would expect the Gospel to have permeated every aspect of Nigerian society, right? With a church on just about every street corner, including street preachers and Christian ministries in between, it would seem Nigeria should be shinning beacon of Christian hope for the nations, right?

Unfortunately, no. 

According to the Corruption Perceptions Index 2020 by Transparency International, Nigeria presently holds the title of second most corrupt country in West Africa (and ranks number 146 globally; out of 180 most corrupt nations).

You can argue about the merits of those rankings, but if we are being honest, even us Nigerians are keenly aware and wearied by the realities of corruption in our own backyard. From our police force to our shipping ports, from our government senate to the street corner salesman, from university faculties to the lady working at the petrol station down the street who rigged the gas pump so that it keeps counting money even though the gas has stopped pumping (I learned this the hard way), corruption seems to have found a retirement home in our land and our plethora of churches and sermons don’t seem to be impacting the everyday lives of Nigerians. Don’t even get me started on the corruption WITHIN the church and how many Nigerians pastors have turned the House of the LORD into a den of robbers. Think I’m being unfair? Pop over to YouTube and type in, “Nigerian Pastors”, then let’s talk.

So what in the world is happening in all our churches?

How is it that on the surface, when researchers survey the explosive growth of Christianity in Nigeria, the church appears to be spiritually vibrant, but up close and personal, we’re not as alive as we seem and inciting societal changes? How can something look so pretty, yet so dead?

Incidentally, Jesus Christ made this same observation of one city in the scriptures.  In Revelation 3:1, Jesus says to the church in the city of Sardis, “These are the words of him who holds the seven spirits of God and the seven stars. I know your deeds; you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead.” 

The MESSAGE translation captures Jesus’ words to the Sardians this way, “I see right through your work. You have a reputation for vigor and zest, but you’re dead, stone-dead.”

Might this be the same strong-worded letter Jesus is writing to the church in Nigeria today?

The real question on my mind, though is, how? As in, how in the world is a church able to maintain a reputation for being alive when it is in fact dead? I ask because I have observed dead things before. I have stood graveside next to loved ones who have passed on. I have observed the process of how cows become steak. I have studied dead organizations, and I have unintentionally put to death a few of my wife’s indoor plants. Here’s what I can say for sure – dead things tend to look dead and stay dead!

So once again, how is it that the Church of Sardis, which had a great reputation for being alive, was in fact on its last breath? How is it that the church in Nigeria, for all its reputation about being one of nations with the fastest growing number of Christians, is in reality a nation rampant with corruption and strife at just about every level of society? 

Here are 4 ways spiritual death happens in a church, (or if you have a morbid sense of humor) 4 ways to tell if your church smells of dead people.

Is your faith simply a spiritual to-do duty you check-off the list each week? Do you go to church because you are eager to meet with the LORD and spend time with God’s people or do you go each week simply out of obligation because it’s something you’re supposed to do? 

When you go to a prayer meeting, whether online or in person, do you find yourself anticipating the end or do you feel relief when prayer time is over? Do you say to yourself, “Finally, I can go and take care of other things!”  

Here’s another one; Is your love for God and passion for Jesus more vibrant when you’re in public than when you’re at home in private?” (Your wife and family can probably answer this for you). 

When you observe the church (and Christians) in Nigeria, does our faith in Jesus seem mechanical or genuine? Does our loud and passionate Sunday morning faith have any bearing on our lives Monday to Friday? 

Nigerians, let’s judge for ourselves if our faith has become mechanical, if if it has, let’s heed the words of Jesus in Revelation 2:5, “[Return to your first love, and] Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place—unless you repent.” 

Conversely, spiritual death can also happen when you’re so focused on “prophetic words” about your future that you fail to live in Christlikeness today! 

It’s been my experience that Nigerian Christians struggle with the latter, especially because it is greatly encouraged by men and women in our pulpits leading churches and ministry events. 

Here are a few samplings of actual conference titles offered and hosted by these ministry leaders:

•  “OH LORD, PLEASE RELEASE MY VISA”

• “PRAISE WINE FOR 2021”

• “GOD, GIVE ME SPOUSE OR I DIE!”

• “OPERATION: KILL YOUR ENEMIES!”

With all these generous offerings in our future, who needs to focus on the now? Spiritual death happens and has happened in Nigeria when we become so focused on our “expected prophetic coming blessings” that we fail to live and love with Christlikeness in the NOW. 

We LOVE titles in Nigeria! Just take a look at any one of the thousands of Christian event posters along ANY highway and you’ll be blown away by the number of self-appointed prophets, prophetesses, apostles, Father-in-the-Lord, Senior Evangelists, Honoraries, Daddy G.O’s, and Supreme-leader-Most-High pastors Nigeria has.

I ask as a fellow Nigerian: Are these titles getting us any closer to the LORD? On a more personal level, how  much energy are we pouring into people’s perception of us, versus God’s evaluation of us?

Think about the Church in Sardis for a moment. The only way they could have maintained a reputation of being alive, even though they were dead, is if they were pouring lots of energy into maintaining their reputation to their neighbors. Did you catch that? They were more focused on how they were being perceived than they actually were on the Gospel-mission they should have been about, hence their spiritual death.

Here’s the problem with pretentious faith; it is only a matter of time before your true nature reveals itself. You can’t hide behind your profile picture forever. Whether in this life or the next, Jesus will expose who you truly are and you will discover that you were truly spiritually dead all along. 

Pray that you don’t end up becoming one in the crowd of people to whom Jesus will someday said, “I never knew you, depart from me you workers of evil” (Matthew 7:23; Matthew 25:41).

(“Them” refers to people in our community and region who don’t know Jesus Christ). 

Jesus hints at this at the end of verse 2 (in Revelation 3) when He says to the Sardians, “…for I have found your deeds [your works] unfinished in the sight of my God. ” The implication here is that there was ministry work to be done inside and outside the Church of Sardis that was NOT being done, hence “unfinished.”

Remember, Jesus told His disciples (and us) that we would be His witnesses in Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria, and the ends of the earth. The idea is that the Gospel should start locally, then spread out to the outskirts of our city, then out of our state, throughout the land, and overseas. It’s my experience, however, that most of our churches in Nigeria never go beyond our, “Jerusalem.” This is why there is such a large concentration of churches in every municipality in the southern states of Nigeria. I also suspect that this is why the southern hemisphere of Nigeria is heavily Christian, while the north remains mostly Muslim. 

Listen, THE CHURCH OF NIGERIA NEEDS TO RETURN TO ITS MISSIONARY MANDATE!!!   

I understand that there is a complicated long history of ethnic conflict between Muslims and Christians, but Jesus has not changed or rewritten the Great Commission to include only people who think like us and speak the same language we do! Jesus is not going to come down to evangelize the north of Nigeria or the unreached people in your backyard; He has already put His Spirit in YOU and has commissioned YOU to GO AND MAKE DISCIPLES.

The Church of Jesus Christ will experience a spiritual awakening (and become undead) when it starts thinking beyond its four church walls or its own denominations and starts sponsoring and sending out missionaries into OUR nation as the early church did!

The LORD, Jesus Christ is calling out to the church in Nigeria today, “Awake, O sleeper, rise up from the dead, and Christ will give you light.”

My kids are quite the curious bunch, especially my oldest. A simple answer is never enough for him. He’ll ask questions till he gets to the root of my underlying motive for why I said what I said; which is fine, except for the fact that it’s usually at 2:00am and I gotta get up in 4 hours!

But one of his oddest follow up questions he has consistently stuck with is the one that comes after I tell him how much I love him. He’s fond of following up by saying, “I love you too, daddy. But why do you love me?”

Interestingly, I have been preparing for this question since I was in seminary. I know that sounds odd, but let me explain. In seminary, I took a class called, “SOUL CARE” (which is exactly what it sounds like), and it ended up bringing to light some childhood wounds I never dealt with.

The class helped me work through and let go of a lot of baggage I had carried years. One key lessons that came out of that season was the truth that God loves me, not because of how much effort I was making to do the right thing in my walk with Him, but because it truly gave Him joy (and because it was “…according to the good pleasure of His will.” – Ephesians 1:5).

That Biblical truth transformed my vision of what a Father does and who a Father is supposed to be, way before I was even a dad!

So, when my oldest son, even at an early stage began to ask why it is I love him, I was very careful to let him know that it wasn’t because of how handsome or brilliant he was, or how great a job he did at whatever his mom last instructed him to do; but rather, I told him that I loved him because God gave him to me as a special gift!

Now, that is a love he never has to earn!! That is a love that will always be readily available for him as long as God gives me breath.

It is, of course also a love that I don’t always live up to. 

As fathers, our kids look up to us as heroes, but we know all too well just how human we are. We know that we will love our kids imperfectly, and whether intentionally or unintentionally – our sinful behavior may end up demonstrating to our kids that our love and approval of them depends on their performance.

Like I said, we’re awfully human.

The one thing we can work hard to do right, however, is to teach them that their Father in heaven is madly in love with them, so much so that He sent His Son Jesus Christ to come start a lifelong friendship with us. It’s that message that we as dads should strive to make clear to our kids!

So, dads, join me as I pray for that our kids would truly embrace the truth that God not only loves them, but actually likes them! 

“Lord Jesus, your word says in Romans 8:38-39 that no one and no thing will ever be able to drive a wedge between you and us! Absolutely nothing! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS! Thank you so much for loving my children so dearly. Jesus, I pray that you would help this truth stick to their heart like glue so that they never forget about your great love for them. 

Lord Jesus, guard my children’s hearts against any lie that the devil might try to tell them about their value and their worth. Place a shield of truth around their mind so that when other people speak negative things to them about how they look, where they’re from, or what they do, they would be secure enough in your love to say, “Nope, that is a lie. I am loved by God, the creator of heaven and earth!”  

Father in heaven, convince my children by your Holy Spirit and through the Bible that even on their worst days and their greatest mistakes, that You still remain faithful to them. Show them according to your word that absolutely nothing can get between them and your love because of the way Jesus Christ has embraced them. Remind them always that when they turn to Jesus Christ by faith and ask for your help, you will always be a good friend who will come alongside them to help them. May they always have a close friendship with you, and as a result, would you teach them to be great friends with others. 

Father, teach them to always come to you in prayer with a sense of great expectation, but also with a clear sense of awe and wonder at your holy nature. Grant them understanding even in these early years just how mighty and holy, and in many respects, unapproachable you are. You word says in 1 Timothy 6:16 “[You are the God] who alone is immortal and who lives in unapproachable light, whom no one has seen or can see. To him be honor and might forever. Amen.” Let this understanding result in reverence and great respect for you in our kids lives (to the level that they can even comprehend it). Jesus, help our kids understand that they are praying to their Father in heaven, who draws near to those whose hearts have been broken, and who helps those who are suffering and crying out for help.   

Lord God, deepen their friendship with you. Help our kids establish a strong sense of comfort in pouring their heart out to you. Grant them great faith, mountain-sized faith that results in bold prayers in their lives. May they be like the young shepherd boy, David, who in the face of Goliath, a man several times his size, declared,  “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied.” Increase their confidence and trust in you with each answered, or even delayed answers to their prayers. Jesus, let their relationship with you not feel forced, but let their faith and confidence in you flow freely from the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit in their lives.

It’s in Jesus name that I pray these things. Amen.”

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Hey dad, thanks for taking the time to pray along with me today. If you enjoyed today’s blog post, I would love to hear your feedback and any insight you might have about what we should pray for next. Just leave a note below in the comment section!

If you’re REALLY digging this series, then go a step further by sharing this post on your social media platforms and tell some other dads about it! Thanks again for dropping in. 

Catch you same time next week! 

Okay, fine! I’ll come straight to it, my son is way smarter than I was at his age.

To be clear, he still does dumb 8-year-old-boy stuff, but academically, my not-so-little-anymore dude is crushing it! When he was in kindergarten, he was reading at a 2nd grade level. Presently at 4th grade, his math, spelling, and coding skills are off the charts. 

While I like to brag to my wife that he gets it from me, anyone who knew me growing up me knows that is a straight up lie! Man, when I was his age, I couldn’t pass a math test for my life even if you handed me the addition and subtraction charts with all the answers. 

Let’s just say, I didn’t really step into my academic-game till sometime after high school. I remember when I graduated high school with something like a C+ average, my parents actually threw me a party because no one even thought I’d ever graduate!! I shared this in one of the earlier posts in this series, but it’s for this very reason that when my son was in my wife’s womb, I pled with the Lord that He would bless my him with a brilliant and intelligent mind. 

THANK. YOU. JESUS!

While I’m grateful for God’s gift to my son, I am keenly aware that there are some of you whose kids might be taking a little longer than you’re comfortable with to step into their academic comfort zone. Maybe they’re behind in school (math, reading, or even speaking) and you’re starting to get worried? Or perhaps it’s clear to you that they are intelligent, but they’re having a really hard time expressing that innate cleverness? 

Well, it’s you I want to pray for today. I want to ask God on your behalf to increase your child’s brainpower, increase their capacity to retain and process information, and bless them with the ability to freely and clearly express all He has placed in them. 

“God, your word says in the book of Ecclesiastes 2:26 that you give wisdom, knowledge, and joy to those who please you. And then in James 1:5, you say again that, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”

Lord Jesus, I ask on behalf of my children that you would fill them to the full with your knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in every aspect of life. Bless them with a mind that is able to distinguish between foolish and wise choices, and the willingness to follow through on wise decisions. 

Bless my children with a sharp and brilliant mind and help them reach every developmental milestone they need to reach at the right time. Wherever they might be lacking academically, replenish them in abundance with your wisdom. Grant their minds the capacity to retain all the information they’re learning and the ability to process it in a way that makes sense to all whom they express it to. 

Father in heaven, Help my children quickly and easily identify the areas of giftedness you’ve blessed them with and grant them a godly tenacity in refining and perfecting those gifts. Help them excel in all they set their hands and mind to do. In their areas of giftedness, help them increase in their skillful use of it and make them influencers of culture in their generation.  

Grant them many opportunities for them to put to great use all they are learning, and bring them into contact with brilliant and caring friends who will challenge them and bring out the best in them. May their learning be marked with joy, and help us as parents discern how to develop and foster the abilities and talents you endowed them with. 

Lord God of all wisdom and knowledge, bless my children with understanding all the days of their life.

In Jesus name I pray.”

Hey dad, thanks for taking the time to pray along with me today. If you enjoyed today’s blog post, I would love to hear your feedback and any insight you might have about what we should pray for next. Just leave a note below in the comment section!

If you’re REALLY digging this series, then go a step further by sharing this post on your social media platforms and tell some other dads about it! Thanks again for dropping in. 

Catch you same time next week! 

When each of my kids were born, I had specific things I prayed God would do in each of their lives. Call it Dad-instincts or Holy Spirit inspiration, I’m not sure, but I asked God to use each of them in very specific ways in their generation. 

For my daughter, I prayed that God would bless her with a confidence rooted in His love for her that would stir others to action. I wanted her to have a strength and beauty that wasn’t just external, but an intellectual depth and a godly fierceness that would make her influential in her generation. 

Interestingly, I’ve observed God honoring the prayers I prayed for each of them. My gorgeous little princess, even at the age of three has enough confidence, spunk and emotional intelligence to last two lifetimes!

I praise God for this because I know that she will be growing up in a culture that is saturated with digitally altered images of impossibly thin women who bare no semblance to reality. A culture that unfortunately measures a woman’s value, not by what she knows, but what she’s willing to show on her social media account.

If you’re a dad to a girl, I’m willing to bet that concern has crossed your mind a few times.

So today, today, Dads, I want to pray for our daughters. 

“Father in heaven your words says in Psalm 28:7 that you are our strength and our shield and we will trust you with all our hearts. So, Jesus, be my daughter’ strength. Bless her with great confidence that is deeply rooted in your love for her and not just in what she looks like or what she wears. Grant her an unshakeable faith in you and let her confidence inspire others to live for you.

Jesus, also bless my daughter with peace and confidence in the physical beauty You have gifted her with. Grant her a healthy Biblical view of her body and her sexuality. Help her to fully embrace the unique qualities you have blessed her with. When she looks in the mirror each morning, help her recognize that she is fearfully and wonderfully made by You, and that Your works are wonderful! 

Your word says in Psalm 28:7 that because you are her helper, her heart will be filled with joy and she will burst out in songs of thanksgiving. Lord Jesus, I pray that you would open the eyes of my daughter’s heart so that she will always sense your presence with her. Fill her life with your joy so that it becomes contagious to her friends. Fill her life with your Holy Spirit and your wisdom so that she becomes influential in her generation and leads many closer to Jesus Christ. Fill her with songs of thanksgiving so that no matter what circumstance she finds herself in, your praises will always be on her lips.

Grant my daughter clarity in her calling in life. May she discover early in life her passion and the purpose for which you have put her on this earth. Give her creativity and insight so she may know a hundred and one ways in which she can express all you have placed in her. Bless her with a fearlessness in pursuing the ambitions and dreams You have planted in her heart and through it all, may she always give you praise for all her successes in life. 

Use her mightily in her generation. In all that she does, may many observe and give You praise for the wondrous works You are doing through her.

Bless her life, and may your joy be her strength all the days of her life, in Jesus name I pray. Amen.”

Hey dad, thanks for taking the time to pray along with me today. If you enjoyed today’s blog post, I would love to hear your feedback and any insight you might have about what we should pray for next. Just leave a note below in the comment section!

If you’re REALLY digging this series, then go a step further by sharing this post on your social media platforms and tell some other dads about it! Thanks again for dropping in. 

Catch you same time next week! 

I grew up in a household with a strong religious mother and an even stronger grandmother. My dad was not a man of faith, but he never kept us from following in the footsteps of my mom. In fact, he encouraged it. But I do recall that when I was growing up, my faith felt more like a burdenthan a relationship with God.

Church was a duty we had to get up for every Sunday morning way earlier than any human should me made to wake up on a weekend. Though I enjoyed the musical segments of our Church services, the rest of it was way over my head, except for when they would talk about the fires of hell.

Then, I paid attention! 

I lived in constant fear of hell because I was a bad kid with a track record of some really dumb decisions, and from what I was able to discern in all the teachings in Church, hell was where bad kids ended up. It wasn’t till Junior High school that I began to wrap my head around the idea that Christianity wasn’t about having fire insurance, but about a relationship with God through faith in Jesus Christ.

So, as a dad with 3 inquisitive kids with an ever growing list of questions about spiritual matters, it’s important to me that I frame their understanding of Christianity in the context of what God already did for them when He sent His Son Jesus Christ to pay for their sin.

I hope this next statement is true as true for you as it is for me as a dad - my greatest desire for each of my kids is that they would someday choose to trust in Jesus Christ as the Lord and Savior of their life.  I hope and pray that their relationship with Jesus is not just a Sunday-morning faith or one borne out of obligation, but a thriving relationship where they know and experience His presence and power in their lives. 

So, it’s this prayer that I want to pray for you and your kids today. 

“Lord God in heaven, thank you for creating us in your image and for blessing us with the means to be able talk back to you. Thank you for sending your son, Jesus Christ to die for the sin of the world, including ours. And thank you for providing a way through faith in Jesus Christ to have a joyful relationship with you.

I confess that my children and I have sinned and failed to live up to the holiness you demand of us. I ask today that you would forgive us for all our sins. Remove from us our sins and separate it from us as far as the east is from the west.  

O God, you say in the Bible that no one can come to you unless your first draw them near by your Holy Spirit, so I pray that you would draw each of my children close to you. Jesus, grant my children the gift of eternal life and write their names in your Book of Life. Win over their hearts so that they know you not only as Savior of their life, but as the Lord and King of their lives.

Jesus, bless them with a joyful relationship with you, not one borne out of fear or obligation. May their lives be constantly marked by the joy of the Lord and may their relationship with you take center stage above all other relationships in their lives so that they truly grow to love you with all their hearts, all their minds, and all their body.

Help them by the power of your Holy Spirit to live each day with the knowledge that they are saved by your loving grace and not their efforts to keep being good. Remind them daily by your Spirit and through the scriptures that they can always approach your throne of grace because of what Jesus has already done for them on the cross!

May their confidence in your salvation free them to live for you and to be bold witnesses of the grace they have received. Thank you for loving them so dearly and for the gift of eternal life, in Jesus name I pray, Amen!”

Hey dad, thanks for taking the time to pray along with me today. If you enjoyed today’s blog post, I would love to hear your feedback and any insight you might have about what we should pray for next. Just leave a note below in the comment section!

If you’re REALLY digging this series, then go a step further by sharing this post on your social media platforms and tell some other dads about it! Thanks again for dropping in. 

Catch you same time next week! 

I saw this meme online a few weeks ago that made me laugh out loud for a good minute. It was a picture of Jesus and His disciples and the caption read, “How come no one ever talks about the miracle of Jesus having 12 close friends in His 30s?!”

Ain’ that the truth?

I got a kick out of it because if you’re past the age of 40, chances are, you can probably count on a few fingers the number of people in your life you would call, “close friends.”

I recall the years before college when I had a crew of about 7 guys I hung out with almost daily. Now, I have to plan a babysitter weeks in advance, check my calendar with my wife to make sure we have no family activities planned, and ensure none of my binge-worthy Netflix shows has released a new season before I can get some dude-time with ONE friend!

My kids on the other hand become best friends with pretty much everyone they meet. My oldest son is such an extrovert that I once overheard him scheduling a play date with someone I’m pretty sure he’d only met once, without checking in with me or the kid’s parent. 

My other boy, however, is somewhat of an introvert who prefers to march to the beat of his own drum. Honest dad-moment here. I had a conversation with him a little while back that broke my heart for him. I was telling him about a new after-school activity we were about to sign him up for and he said, “Dad, can you also sign me up for some friends because no one really plays with me at school.”

Man, it felt like someone had just stepped on my heart. I wanted to go to his school and tell all the five year olds there how great and funny, and how kind a kid he was if only they would take the time to get to know him! But of course, I couldn’t – so I hugged him tight and gave him some tips on how to BE the kind of good friend that attracts great friendships. Then I prayed for him the prayer I’m about to pray for your kids should you ever find your children in a similar situation.

I don’t know about you, but I want my kids to have great friendships, the kind of long-term friendships that will continue into their teens, through college, and into their 30s and 40s.

So, that’s what we’re going to pray for today, that God would bless our kids with great lifelong friendships.

“Father in heaven, I pray that you would bless our kids with good friendships. Help them come into contact with friends who share their passions, likes, and even dislikes. Bless them with kind friends they can do life with, friends who will mutually encourage each other and bring out the best in one another. Grant our kids a best friend who will stay close to them like a brother (or sister), a friend they can grow with all through their life.

Bless them with friends who will be strong when they are weak, honest and loving when they need to hear truth, and kindhearted when life gets hard. 

Jesus, teach our children how to be good friends to the kids already in their lives and make them a great source of encouragement to others. Help them always think of creative ways they can love and serve each other with love and genuine affection. Bless our kids with a spirit of friendliness so that they can present themselves in such a way that others find warm and welcoming.

Lord Jesus, protect our children from ungodly influences who may lead them away from you and into trouble. Grant our children the godly resolve to resist the temptations of foolish friends who might try to lead them away from your calling on their life. Protect them from bullies who might try to take advantage of them and send strong friends their way who will stand up for them when they feel alone.

Teach us as parents how to make friends with other parents whose kids will love and share life with our kids. Help us demonstrate well what a good friend does by loving and caring for the friends already in my life.

Thank you, Jesus for not only being our Lord, Savior, but also our friend. Help us love others as you have loved us, in Jesus name. Amen.”

Hey dad, thanks for taking the time to pray along with me today. If you enjoyed today’s blog post, I would love to hear your feedback and any insight you might have about what we should pray for next. Just leave a note below in the comment section!

If you’re REALLY digging this series, then go a step further by sharing this post on your social media platforms and tell some other dads about it! Thanks again for dropping in. 

Catch you same time next week! 

Let’s start off with a little math. If I gave you $10 for every time you have had to tell one of your kids, “You have to share!”, how much would you have?

I don’t know about you, but if I were to count just the last 6 months, I’d have enough cash to hire a sitter and take my wife out for a night out in the city (Post-quarantine, of course).

Generosity doesn’t come naturally to most kids. High on the list of first words many of them learn without being taught, is the word, “MINE!” 

At one of the daycares we used to take my kids to, there was a poster on the wall with a poem that I thought hilarious. It was titled, “10 TODDLER RULES” by an unknown author. It’s supposed to be tongue-in-cheek, and from the perspective of the toddler. It goes thus: 

1. If I want it, it's mine.

2. If it's in my hand, it's mine.

3. If I can take it away from you, it's mine.

4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.

5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.

6. If we are building something together, all the pieces are mine.

7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine.

8. If I think it's mine, it's mine.

9. If I give it to you and change my mind later, it's mine.

10. Once it's mine it will never belong to anyone else, no matter what!

Some of you dads just had this conversation with your kids! 

Unless you’re among that one percent with a kid or kids who like to give everything away, literally everything, even your stuff without asking your permission (those kids do exist believe it or not); unless you’re them, most of us just desperately want our kids to be more generous and to learn to share with others, especially with their siblings.

Generosity and sharing is a great Biblical value to instill in our kids, because there is nothing more Christlike than having a generous spirit. So, dads, that’s what we will be praying for our kids today, that God would bless them with a generous sharing heart.

“Lord God, your word says in Proverbs 11:24-25 that big-hearted person who gives generously will increase what he has, and the one who withholds and is stingy will lose even what they have. Lord, Jesus, teach my children to have 
a generous spirit. Grant them a caring heart that shares willingly, a heart that joyfully looks out for the good of others. Bless them with this same heart attitude toward their siblings. Help them comprehend early in life that it is truly more rewarding to give than to stockpile all that they have. 

Help them understand that all that they have been blessed with is a gift from you, and that even the most expensive things in this world like gold, silver, and diamonds all belong first and foremost to you! 

Help them understand your truth that someday they will need to give you a report for how generous they were with all that you gave them, and may that knowledge transform them into responsible and generous children. 

Lord, God help my children see just how generous a God you are and give them a deep appreciation for the precious gifts you have already given us; Gifts like a beautiful sunny day and the snow that falls from the sky; for gifts like the air we breathe and the beautiful animals in the ocean, and for the most precious and most generous gift of all – sending your son Jesus Christ to pay for our sins on the cross.

Thank you so much, God! Help us and teach us to be as generous as you have been to us. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.”

Hey dad, thanks for taking the time to pray along with me today. If you enjoyed today’s blog post, I would love to your feedback, and any insights you might have about what we should pray for next. 

If you’re REALLY digging this series, then go a step further by sharing this post on your social media platforms and tell some other dads about it! Thanks again for dropping in. 

Catch you next time! 

Several nights ago, I put my kids to bed following a routine which involved storytelling, praying, them-waking-up-again, me threatening their lives, 3 hugs, 100 high fives and 29 fist bumps.

When they eventually settled down, I headed downstairs to catch some TV before going to sleep.

Yeah, right.

Within 10 minutes, I began to hear a groan. It wasn’t quite crying. It was more of a drawn out sob. I actually muted the TV to hear it clearly and quickly figured out it was my middle child crying out my name. 

This wasn’t completely unusual. If you have little kids, you know that when bedtime comes around, children suddenly morph into dehydrated philosophers. They either want one more cup of water or they want to ask you some ponderous questions they didn’t think to ask 30 minutes before you put them to bed.

On this night though, my boy didn’t want anything. Instead he was he was full on frightened of something. He had his hands over his ears and was wailing about not being able to sleep because of “the monsters.”

I was all set to burst into prayer warrior mode and rebuke some invisible things in Jesus name, but decided to dig a little more first. As we talked it through, it turns out it was something he had watched on one of his shows that kept replaying in his mind. It had to do with a cartoon 3-legged monster with one eye that he just couldn’t get out of his mind. 

Thank you, Disney!

He was full on frightened of something.

“I was all set to burst into prayer warrior mode and rebuke some invisible things in Jesus name, but decided to dig a little more first.”

So, of course I laid next to him, cuddled him, and prayed with him that God would fill him with courage and be a shield around him. Within a few minutes, he informed me that he was better and I could now leave his room. 

If you’re a dad, you’ve probably had some variation of this. Sometimes, what your children fear isn’t real, like monsters in their closet, under their bed, or their night lamp that looks like Godzilla’s eyes. Other times, what they fear is real - like sliding down a swing, spiders, or clowns.

As they get older, those fears might evolve into bigger things like the fear of being around large crowds, that big kid at school, failing at a job or not finding a date for prom.

It looks different for each kid. 

As a father (like you), I want my kids to be strong and courageous in the face of any adversity or anything they might face, be it real or imagined, no matter if they’re 8 or 28 years old. And it’s that strength and courage we are going to pray for this week!

Today’s prayer is based on Joshua 1:9. In that account, prior to several battles, God tells the young military general to be “strong and courageous”. This instruction is actually repeated a few times in the book of Joshua, which tells me that even as tough and rugged as Joshua was, the dude was probably afraid on those occasions and had plenty of reasons NOT to be strong and courageous. Hence, God’s continual encouragement to him. So, let’s pray for our kids now. 

“Lord Jesus, you tell us in the book of Joshua, chapter one, verse nine, that, we are to be strong and courageous, that we should not be afraid or discouraged, for you, O God are with us wherever we go.

So, today, I pray that you would make our children strong and courageous. If there is anything in their life that terrifies them or makes them afraid, I pray that you would give them the courage to face it fearlessly. Your word says in 2 Timothy 1:7 that, “God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” So, I pray you would bless our kids with a confidence that is deeply rooted in Your love for them.  

Show our children how strong and powerful you are. Help them see and know that there is nothing that can stand up against you, and because you love them so much, you will always protect them and watch over them. Teach them to trust in you and to call on you when they find themselves in a tough situation.

Father in heaven, when we as dads are not present to watch over our children to protect them, I pray that you would be their protector and their guide. I pray that you would keep them from being bullied or taken advantage of. Grant our children godly wisdom and understanding so they can navigate those difficult relationships where they might face peer pressure. Lord, help them courageously stand up for what is right even when they feel intimidated, and help them be lovingly protective of their siblings. 

Lord God, you remind us in Joshua 1:9 that you will be with us wherever we go, so I pray that you would be present even now with our children.

Bless them with your courage and confidence, in Jesus name I pray, Amen!”

Hey dad, thanks for taking the time to pray along with me today. If you enjoyed today’s blog post, I would love to hear your feedback and any insight you might have about what we should pray for next. Just leave a note below in the comment section!

If you’re REALLY digging this series, then go a step further by sharing this post on your social media platforms and tell some other dads about it! Thanks again for dropping in. 

Catch you same time next week! 

My prayer life used to be boring. Then I had kids!

If you’re a parent, you’ve probably cried out a few foxhole prayers in your day. Whether it was the time your kid stuck their hand in that dangerous thing you warned them a million times not to touch (and you thought they were going to die), or ate that thing you’re pretty sure was a baby-alien (and you were sure they were going to die), or that time they fell at the park and you realized children bleed like that scene in the movie, “Carrie” (but they didn’t die)!

After a few years, though, my prayers became predictable as I pretty much stuck to praying the same things, the same way, in the same tone for my kids each day.

God, protect them.

God, shield them.

God, save them.

God, don’t let them kill each other.

God, don’t let me kill them today!

These, of course aren’t bad prayers, but in the words of my rather wise 5 year old at the time who picked up on my repetitive prayer pattern, “Dad, you do know that God can do other things too, right?” 

Ah, bless him.

Soooo, I came up with 10 “other” things to pray for our little ones, especially after speaking to a dozen other dads and realized that their prayer lives lacked imagination too.

For that reason, I’ve put together this 10-week prayer series for dads. Relax, it’s not like a school course or anything close to that.

I am convinced that the greatest impact a father can have on his children’s lives is his prayer life. That’s because OUR prayers train our kids to place their burdens and desires at the feet of their loving Father in heaven, who is more than capable of meeting every single need they will ever have.

You and I will never be the perfect dads (mostly because we’re human), but boy, we can sure be a praying dads! And quite honestly, we don’t know when this whole quarantine thingy will end, so if you’re going to be working from home, I figure you’re going to need all the prayers you can get!!

On Monday mornings over the next 10 weeks, I will release one new blog post with a dad-themed prayer for our kids. Each week will cover an aspect of parenting you will most certainly face as a father (courage, heartache, making friends or lack thereof, confidence, etc).

Each blog post will include a short intro story and one short prayer you can pray for your kids each day through the week. I’ll also include an audio version of each blog post incase you only have time to listen to it on the go. Each post will also come with a (PDF) PRAYER RESULTS WORKSHEET so you can track how God is working through your prayers in the life of your kids.

FULL DISCLOSURE: The audio was recorded about a year ago when I envisioned this series as a podcast. But life happened, and now, it’s a blog series.

The prayers are NOT magic formulas. Allow yourself to be led by the Holy Spirit of God as you pray each day. You can pray along with exactly what I write or you can expand on each prayer as the specific needs of your kids come to mind. You can also keep track of how God is working in your kids lives by downloading and working through the (PDF) PRAYER RESULTS WORKSHEET.

When you do pray, ask in faith believing that God heard you. God is more eager to hear and respond to your prayers than you are willing to ask. Jesus said in Matthew 7:9-11, “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”

You can pray the prayers out loud with your kids next to you, or pray it for them on your own time. You can listen to the audio version in your car and have your kids listen along or you can use it as an idea generator for how to pray. If you have a son and the week’s prayer is for a girl, feel free to make the adjustment to fit their gender.

Either way you use it, my hope and prayer is that this series will end up being a spiritual blessing to your family! So, I invite you to journey with me through this 10-week prayer series as we make a lasting spiritual impact on our kids through prayer.

As a gift to you for your willingness to join me in this series, I am making available FOR FREE a downloadable copy on an eBook I authored, #DADLIFE: 31 Powerful Prayers To Help Dads Fight For The Heart Of Their Little Dudes And Little Sunshines.

May God watch over you and your family as you come on this 10-week prayer journey with me! Thanks again for checking it out.

Please feel free to leave a comment below to let me know some future topics that I could pray for, or share this blog post on your social media page with a dad!

God bless you and keep rocking at being dad!