Shift with Maddi

This is the dating history of me in my 20s - the messy, funny, slightly cringe truth of it, and the patterns that ran underneath every single guy on that list. This is designed as an episode to provide a reference point for when I talk about how tragic my dating history is in my other episodes and why I decided it was essential for me to learn to rewrite my patterns.

What you'll walk away with:

Why I kept choosing people who liked me more than I liked them
The "cool girl, zero expectations" act I ran for the best part of a decade (and what it cost me)
The first time I held a boundary and how genuinely good it felt
The corrective experience that changed my expectations, before I even had the language for "default settings"

Day 23 of my 30-day build-in-public challenge. Come find me on Instagram: @shiftwithmaddi

Closing question: if you asked your friends what dating pattern they'd call out in you - what would they say? Tell me in the comments, I want to know I'm not the only one...

Change doesn't happen because you finally feel "ready" - it happens once the discomfort of staying the same outweighs the effort of changing and the fear of what's on the other side. In this episode I break down the actual formula behind it (yes, there's a formula), where it comes from psychologically, and how to work all three sides of it on purpose instead of waiting for motivation to show up.

In this episode:

The formula for change, explained in plain English - and where I first heard it
The psychology behind it: decisional balance, the Stages of Change model, and the "developing discrepancy" trick from Motivational Interviewing
The 5-year question that creates the discomfort you need, on purpose
The "20 reasons" exercise my mentor used to quit smoking - and why your real "why" usually isn't reason #1

Day 16 of my 30-day build-in-public challenge - follow along at @shiftwithmaddi.

What's your 5-year question - where does it take you? Let me know in the comments 👇

My morning routine - minus the 5am ice bath and the 90-minute "non-negotiable" routine everyone's selling you.

I was hitting decision fatigue before 10am. Brain fried, overwhelmed, running on empty before the day had even properly started. So I built a system - not to be a productivity girlboss, but to protect the brain space I actually need for the decisions that matter.

In this episode:

- Why I was getting decision fatigue before 10am (and the psychology behind it)
- What a "system" actually is, and why it's not about rigidity
- My actual morning routine, piece by piece - the good, the "still figuring it out," and the honest bits
What's working, what's not, and what I'm adding next

(Btw the affirmations song I have as my alarm is called Wake Up by Chris'n'Teeb - reference from episode)

This is Day 8 of my 30-day content challenge - follow along at @shiftwithmaddi 

Psychology's always been my thing - it's my degree, it's the lens I look at everything through. But four life lessons from years of pole dancing? Turns out I was living the theory in my body long before I ever built this podcast explaining it.

This week I'm looking at where my SHIFT framework actually started - not on Instagram, but years ago, in a pole studio. Acting before I felt ready. Setting the tone of a room just by controlling my own. Learning the hard way that trusting yourself beats performing for a crowd. And finding out the plateau is where the real work happens, even when nothing shows on the outside.

If you've got a 'pole' of your own - any skill you've stuck with - the lessons are probably already in there.

Part of my public 30-day challenge, growing this podcast and this page out loud.

What's your 'pole'? Come tell me on Instagram @shiftwithmaddi 👇

I've been trying to make it look like I've got it all figured out - and honestly, I don't right now. This episode is the honest one: I'm back at square one with my career, and I'm talking about why pushing through doesn't work when the block is internal.

I did this before - in 2024, I completely rewrote my patterns around relationships. This time it's career and purpose, and I'm using the same 5 steps: gratitude first, small buildable habits, making room for joy, doing the inner work, and picking a goal I'm accountable to.

Books mentioned: Reparenting Your Inner Child (Dr Nicole LePera), Calling in the One (Katherine Woodward Thomas), Atomic Habits (James Clear), The Magic (Rhonda Byrne), and The Miracle Morning (Hal Elrod).

Starting over doesn't mean burning it all down. It means building on what's already good, and finally facing what you've been avoiding.

Ever reacted to something small with a reaction that felt way too big - snapped, spiralled, went cold, got hit by a wave of "not good enough" out of nowhere - and replayed it later thinking why did I do that?

That's a trigger. And it's not you being dramatic or too much. This episode's about what triggers actually are: your body reacting before your conscious brain catches up, firing off because something pressed on an old belief about you - not because of the thing in front of you. The size of the reaction is the clue.

I get into the psychology of why it feels so physical and instant, why "if it's hysterical, it's historical," and the actual process I use to work with a trigger instead of being ashamed of it - catch it in the body, note it without trying to fix it in the heat of the moment, trace it back when you're calm, and challenge the belief underneath. Plus the honest bit nobody says: this isn't one-and-done. The same trigger comes back, you just catch it faster each time.

Your triggers aren't you overreacting. They're a map to the belief that's been quietly running the show.

Instagram: @shiftwithmaddi

The words you use aren't just describing your life - they're shaping it. The way you speak changes how you behave, what you remember and how much power you quietly hand away without even noticing.

In this episode I get into the psychology of language - and why the words you choose matter far more than you think.

A few things I cover:

• The studies on how the way we speak actually changes our behaviour and even our memories
• How the smallest shift in language can hand accountability - and power - straight back to you
• Why communicating with intention is worth getting deliberate about
• And how changing the way you speak to and about yourself is one of the simplest places to start rewriting your default settings

If this one lands, send it to the friend who needs to hear it - and come tell me over on Instagram @shiftwithmaddi what's one phrase you're going to start saying differently. 🤍

Ever notice how you've got your shit together in some areas of your life and can't catch a break in others? 

It's not bad luck or laziness girlie - it's your default settings.

This is the episode the whole of Shift with Maddi rests on: the patterns your brain runs on autopilot, why some goals feel stupidly easy and others feel impossible, and why bailing on the new thing doesn't make you a loser - it means your brain is doing its job a bit too well, keeping you somewhere familiar because familiar feels safe.

In this episode:

• What a default setting actually is
• Why some defaults are a gift, and which ones to keep
• The real reason you self-sabotage the unfamiliar (your nervous system clocks "new" as danger)
• How I rewrote my own relationship default after landing in Australia
• The myth of self-development I want to kill: you're not adding more, you're reprioritising
• What it feels like to finally curate your life instead of letting your life live you

I'm not here to preach and I'm no expert - just a girl who's put hundreds of hours into changing her own life, sharing it in real time. The next default I'm rewriting is career and business - with you.

Shift with Maddi is a podcast about identity, default settings, and building a life that actually fits - from the inside out. New here? This is the place to start.

I had the house, the career, the manager title, the social life - everything that looked right from the outside. And I felt like I was wading through mud every single day.

This is the origin story. In episode one I take you back to the stagnant years - happy on paper, never in crisis, but quietly certain something was off and unable to explain why. I talk about the trip to Australia that showed me a different life was possible, the slow and deeply un-dramatic decision to actually go (no lightning bolt - just a Gantt chart and a night where I decided to decide), and the crash that hit when I arrived with nothing left to define me.

I'd already told myself you are not your job, you are not your social circle, you are not your schedule - and when it came to it, I crashed anyway. This is the honest version of what that taught me: that the inner work doesn't stop the wobble, it gives you something to hold onto inside it.

If your life looks fine from the outside but something feels off, this one's for you.

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Shift with Maddi is a podcast about identity, default settings, and building a life that actually fits - from the inside out. New here? This is the place to start.