Living in the Messy Middle: Where All The Good Stuff Actually Happens

You don't need to earn the swimsuit before you get in the pool.

In this episode, Shirley talks about something she's actively practicing: showing up anyway, not when it's perfect, not when she's "ready," but as she is, messy and all. A recent trip didn't go the way she'd envisioned, and what happened next says a lot about the stories we tell ourselves about who's "allowed" to participate.

If you're waiting for permission to start something, a podcast, a trip, a goal, a version of your life, this episode is for you.

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#podcast #mindset #selfgrowth #confidence #realtalk

For the first time, I came home from an all inclusive vacation feeling like I actually experienced the vacation instead of recovering from it, and I had to talk about it.

In this episode of Shirley You Can Too: All-Inclusive, Alcohol-Free & Finally Free, I open up about what it was really like going back to one of my favorite resorts, and what shifted for me this time. It's honest, it's personal, and it might change the way you think about "unlimited" anything.

If you've ever thought "I don't know if I'll ever have peace with food or alcohol," this episode is for you.

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How We Built an Unbreakable Mother-Son Bond | The Jaylen Series - Part 1

My son Jay is my first ever podcast guest. For years people have asked how we've stayed this close, and in this episode we finally get into it, together.

What we cover:

• Growing up with two sets of parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles
• The courtside Lakers moment he still brings up
• What he wishes we'd understood about him as a kid
• What finally makes sense to him now that he's an adult
• How honesty, not perfection, built our bond
  

This is part one of an ongoing series diving deeper into our story.

Subscribe so you don't miss what's next.

If Shirley can do it, surely you can too.

#ShirleyYouCanToo #MotherSonRelationship #CoParenting

In this episode of Shirley You Can Too, Shirley talks about the comparison game and why it can be a real peace killer. She shares a time when she thought designer bags and shoes would make her happy, and how she learned that collecting things didn't bring true long-term joy.

She also opens up about a parenting season when her son wasn't in honors or AP classes, and how she had to check herself and remember his journey was his own. Shirley breaks down why Facebook can feel more like "Fakebook," how social media only shows pieces of people's lives, and why that can be especially misleading for young people. She closes with a reminder to stay in gratitude, protect your peace, honor your lane, and never forget that being you is enough.

Timestamps and key topics covered:
00:00 Welcome and today's topic: the comparison game
00:20 Why comparison can be a peace killer
01:03 What does having it all together even mean?
01:11 The designer bag lesson
01:31 Nobody has it all together
01:43 Your own zone of genius
02:07 A parenting comparison lesson
02:56 Facebook vs "Fakebook"
03:49 Staying grounded in truth, gratitude, and purpose
04:19 Final reminder: protect your peace, honor your lane

Like, subscribe, and share if this episode resonated with you.

#comparisonkills #protectyourpeace #gratitudeoverguilt #beingyouisenough #shirleyyoucantoo

How do you really feel? Not the "I'm fine" answer. The real one.

For years, Shirley wore masks. Smiling on the outside, at war on the inside. She was taught: don't cry, don't talk about it, just keep the peace.

Sound familiar?

In episode 9 of Shirley You Can Too, Shirley gets brutally honest about growing up without the tools to communicate, why swallowing your truth doesn't actually keep the peace, it just delays the explosion, and how unspoken emotions can quietly show up in the most destructive ways.

This isn't about blame. It's about awareness. And it's an invitation, to you, to finally ask yourself the one question that changes everything: how do you feel?

🎧 New episode is live now. Link in bio.

It's never too late to take the masks off.

#emotionalintelligence #mentalhealthmatters #speakyourtruth #healingjourney #podcastepisode

What have you ruled out in your life, not because you tried it, but because someone else did and told you it was terrible?

Welcome to Episode 08 of Shirley You Can Too... F Around and Find Out: Don't Believe The Hype. It's time to find out for yourself. In this episode, Shirley unpacks "borrowed fear": the beliefs, warnings, and limitations we inherit from other people's experiences and mistake for our own.

Drawing on 35 years in health, fitness, dental, and coaching, Shirley shares a simple five-question framework to help you separate real wisdom from secondhand fear, so you can make your own informed choices instead of living someone else's story.

Episode Chapters
00:00 Introduction: Borrowed Fear
02:26 Why We Adopt Other People's Limits
04:42 When the Warning Is Actually Valid
07:09 The Stories We Collect For "Why We Can't"
09:34 Letting Go of Inherited Stories

You only get one life. Stop renting it out to somebody else's fear.
Listen now, then go find out for yourself.

What if the people who've shaped you most weren't wearing different hats at all, but doing the exact same job the whole time?

On tonight's episode of Shirley You Can Too, "Same Person, Same Mission: Your Gym Instructor, Your Hygienist, Your Coach," Shirley talks about the question she's been asked more times than she can count:

"What do you actually do for a living?"

She never has a clean one line answer, and in this episode she finally explains why. Over 35 years, Shirley has worked as a dental hygienist, a fitness instructor, a teacher, a coach, a mentor, and now an integration and rebirth doula.

Different rooms, different titles, but as she unpacks in this episode, always the same mission underneath: helping people feel safe enough to change.

Episode Chapters:

00:00 - Introduction: the question Shirley never has a clean answer for
00:30 - 35 years, many titles: dental hygiene, fitness, teaching, coaching
00:57 - Dental trauma and creating safety in the chair
01:28 - Life as a fitness instructor and living in separate worlds
01:56 - The whole person: body, mind, emotions, and the stories we carry
02:25 - Decades of holding space, from dental chairs to fitness classes
02:54 - Integration and rebirth doula work: the same thing at its core
03:25 - Why Shirley pushes back on the "psychedelic doula" label
03:52 - Looking back: how each career prepared her for the next
04:22 - What coaching taught her about truly listening
04:50 - The simplest answer: what Shirley actually does
05:19 - The thread that never changed in 35 years
05:48 - Closing thoughts and thank you

At the end of the day, Shirley's story isn't about having five different careers. It's about one mission that never changed, no matter what room she was standing in. If there's one thing to take from this episode, it's this: transformation isn't reserved for people with the perfect title or the perfect plan. It's available to anyone willing to feel safe enough to try.

If Shirley can do it after 35 years of searching for the words, you can too.

Caretaking: Why You Have to Fill Your Own Cup First

In this episode of the Shirley You Can To Podcast, Shirley gets honest about what it's really like to be a caretaker, and why so many caretakers run themselves into the ground trying to care for everyone but themselves.

She shares her own experience having her mom, auntie, dad, and three dogs all living under one roof at once, the moments she nearly hit her breaking point, and the daily habits that helped her stay grounded instead of getting hijacked by stress and irritability.

You'll learn:

• Why the "oxygen mask" rule applies to caretaking, not just flying
• How grounding, journaling, and movement change your capacity to show up
• How to check in with yourself and ask "what do I need today?"
• Why caring for a parent can feel harder than raising your own child
• Why getting your loved one out of the house (even when they resist) matters
• How asking your parents about their life story can become one of your most treasured memories
  

If you're a caretaker, this episode is your reminder: take care of you, so you can show up powerfully and lovingly for the people who need you.

If this resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear it. And subscribe for more real conversations on the Shirley You Can To Podcast.

How many great ideas are stuck in your head right now because you're waiting for the "perfect" time?

In this episode, Shirley gets real about the three years it took her to launch this very podcast, and the fear hiding underneath all that "preparation." She shares a deeply personal story about two friends she wishes she hadn't waited to interview, and breaks down the three simple steps that finally got her out of her own way. If you've ever felt like you're not ready, not qualified, or not "there" yet, this one's for you.

In this episode:

• Why perfectionism is really just fear in disguise
• The all-or-nothing mindset that keeps big ideas stuck
• Three steps to move from stuck to in motion
• Why comparing your beginning to someone else's 35 years is a losing game

If you've got an idea sitting in your head right now waiting for the "right time," this is your sign. 🎧

Like, subscribe, and share this with someone who needs to hear it today.

Welcome to Part 1 of my Choosing to Heal series.

Today I'm talking about the first layer I peeled back: putting down alcohol. And believe it or not, my lash extensions. In this milestone episode of Shirley You Can Too, I celebrate three years of living alcohol-free by sharing the real, unfiltered story of how I got there. From "weekend warrior" drinking that started in my teens and followed me into my 40s, to the moment I realized my drinking was never really about the alcohol. It was about numbing pain from bullying and trauma I didn't even know I was carrying.

I walk through the final straws that pushed me to quit: a Joe Koy concert I don't remember attending, and a birthday dinner at a Michelin-star restaurant where I woke up with no memory of the night before. I also open up about a smaller but symbolically huge decision I made just five days earlier, letting go of my lash extensions, and why the two choices felt connected.

This isn't a "you're doing it wrong" conversation. It's an honest, empowering look at what it takes to stop numbing, face what's underneath, and finally show up as the leader (and person) I want to be. If you're sober curious, in recovery, or just curious about someone else's journey, this one's for you.

Stay tuned for Part 2, where I keep peeling back the layers.