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Shit Grows Flowers
Shit Grows Flowers - Our Road of Trials
“When people put you down enough you start to believe it. The bad stuff is always easier to believe, you ever notice that?” Line from Pretty Woman
Theresa & Sherry talk a good deal about finding balance, not negating one experience or energy for another, rather finding ways for synthesis, cooperation and resolution. This is true even when things feel shitty. The practices they offer are intended to be used as tools to meet adversity, not avoid it (this is a toxic-positivity-free zone). While the practices are not prescriptive, (if you use them, you will heal XYZ), with consistency, they may help develop new neural pathways, allowing for a sense of calm to replace agitation. This is not typically an immediate gratification proposition, changes may be subtle and crescendo over time.
Theresa refers to a study using reward & punishment and how those who began with abundance & were faced with things being taken away, learned better than the group who had to earn each item from the start. How to Overcome Your Brain’s Fixation on Bad Things - The Power of Bad: How the Negativity Effect Rules Us and How We Can Rule It, co-authored by social psychologist Roy Baumeister and New York Times writer John Tierney,: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_overcome_your_brains_fixation_on_bad_things
In the discussion about Love Languages, it may be useful to understand the ways in which you express & receive love when learning to communicate with friends & partners. Sherry points out that we can be more than one thing at any given time. People do reflect our nature back to us (for better, worse and everything in between), revealing possible landmarks for inspiration, healing & growth.
Takeaways:
- Negativity Bias - Why is it easier to believe the bad stuff?
- Gifts of trials – timing of recognition and action (what & when to say and do) – importance of practices to help us move through trials as they arise, without avoiding them.
- What is our language of helping? Is it helpful? How can we use language that will actually help (sometimes it’s not what, but when).
- Value of deep & active listening – reading the room
- Getting beyond the bad stuff! Permission to heal your own wounds.
5 Love Languages:
- Words of affirmation
- Quality time
- Receiving gifts
- Acts of service
- Physical touch
Buffy Barfoot – Podcast, Things that will Help (ITunes): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/things-that-will-help/id1509015381
The surprising benefit of going through difficult times: https://www.uwhealth.org/news/surprising-benefit-going-through-difficult-times
The Bad Stuff is easier to believe – Maybe – but does it help us grow? https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/bad-stuff-easier-believe-maybe-does-help-us-grow-patrice-thornton/
***
Anecdotal Anatomy's Amazing Team:
Judith George - Editor (video & audio)
Keith Kenny - Music
Cindy Fatsis - Photography
View all episodes
By Theresa Tobin Macy & Sherry Sadoff HanckShit Grows Flowers - Our Road of Trials
“When people put you down enough you start to believe it. The bad stuff is always easier to believe, you ever notice that?” Line from Pretty Woman
Theresa & Sherry talk a good deal about finding balance, not negating one experience or energy for another, rather finding ways for synthesis, cooperation and resolution. This is true even when things feel shitty. The practices they offer are intended to be used as tools to meet adversity, not avoid it (this is a toxic-positivity-free zone). While the practices are not prescriptive, (if you use them, you will heal XYZ), with consistency, they may help develop new neural pathways, allowing for a sense of calm to replace agitation. This is not typically an immediate gratification proposition, changes may be subtle and crescendo over time.
Theresa refers to a study using reward & punishment and how those who began with abundance & were faced with things being taken away, learned better than the group who had to earn each item from the start. How to Overcome Your Brain’s Fixation on Bad Things - The Power of Bad: How the Negativity Effect Rules Us and How We Can Rule It, co-authored by social psychologist Roy Baumeister and New York Times writer John Tierney,: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_overcome_your_brains_fixation_on_bad_things
In the discussion about Love Languages, it may be useful to understand the ways in which you express & receive love when learning to communicate with friends & partners. Sherry points out that we can be more than one thing at any given time. People do reflect our nature back to us (for better, worse and everything in between), revealing possible landmarks for inspiration, healing & growth.
Takeaways:
- Negativity Bias - Why is it easier to believe the bad stuff?
- Gifts of trials – timing of recognition and action (what & when to say and do) – importance of practices to help us move through trials as they arise, without avoiding them.
- What is our language of helping? Is it helpful? How can we use language that will actually help (sometimes it’s not what, but when).
- Value of deep & active listening – reading the room
- Getting beyond the bad stuff! Permission to heal your own wounds.
5 Love Languages:
- Words of affirmation
- Quality time
- Receiving gifts
- Acts of service
- Physical touch
Buffy Barfoot – Podcast, Things that will Help (ITunes): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/things-that-will-help/id1509015381
The surprising benefit of going through difficult times: https://www.uwhealth.org/news/surprising-benefit-going-through-difficult-times
The Bad Stuff is easier to believe – Maybe – but does it help us grow? https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/bad-stuff-easier-believe-maybe-does-help-us-grow-patrice-thornton/
***
Anecdotal Anatomy's Amazing Team:
Judith George - Editor (video & audio)
Keith Kenny - Music
Cindy Fatsis - Photography