Best friends Ren Lu and Emi Nietfeld, both 31-year old new moms, contemplate the question: what have we done?!

So many people are deciding not to have kids. (Emi was almost one of them.) So why did we decide to have kids of our own? And why now? (Spoiler: “now” isn’t always Plan A.)

We dish on reluctant partners, cultural expectations, f-ed up families, and the real F-word (fertility) as we navigate through the fog of war and ask: who are we? And: “was having kids worth it?”

01:14 Ren's Journey to Motherhood: wanting to be a mom but struggling to find the right guy who’s ready

02:25 Emi's Journey to Parenting: why she wasn’t sure she wanted to be a parent, and the things that changed her mind. 

09:00 Ren’s devastating diagnosis of diminished ovarian reserve

13:45 Maternity leave as a self-employed mom 

20:42 Emi’s egg freezing journey gone wrong 

22:22 Why Emi doesn’t want to be called a “Mom” 

29:38 So, have our screaming potatoes changed us yet? 

35:12 Is mom brain real? Are we more productive than ever?

37:01 Is Having a Kid Worth It?

RESOURCES:

New York Times Story - Kids? A Growing Number of Americans Say, ‘No, Thanks.’ https://www.nytimes.com/2024/07/25/well/mind/child-free-adults-pew-study.html

Ariel Levy’s New Yorker Piece - Thanksgiving in Mongolia

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2013/11/18/thanksgiving-in-mongolia

// CONNECT WITH US //

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Emi Nietfeld

Web: eminietfeld.com

Insta & X: @eminietfeld 

Read Acceptance: bit.ly/AcceptanceMemoir

Newsletter: https://eminietfeld.substack.com/ 

Yiren Lu

Web: yirenlu.com

X: @yirenlu

Ren’s Technical Content Agency, Frindle: https://www.tryfrindle.com/