One of the most profound realizations I came to in my own mindfulness journey is how hard it is to even remember what life used to feel like.

And it’s even more impactful when I consider how, back in those days, I never could have imagined any other way to live.

But Anger is like that.

Anger makes us see things inaccurately.

And Anger takes away our outbound filter.

The result? It’s a life that feels like mayhem 24/7 with no way out.

In today’s episode, I describe the way out, as illustrated through a couple of stories:

If you struggle with anger and rage and you feel like there is no way to live differently, I want so badly to speak with you!!!

Because I’m here to tell you that there is a way out! And it’s a lot easier and more simple than you probably imagine.

And you can find out all about it this Sunday, May 16th, at 6:00 pm MST, in the Anger, Transformed webinar.

Because it’s not about stuffing your anger into a box where it will be safe.

It’s not about ignoring or running away from your anger.

It’s about integrating your anger in a healthy and beneficial way.

And I’m going to tell you all about it this Sunday at 6:00 pm!

So click this link to register for this free and valuable opportunity:

https://artburnscoaching.ac-page.com/how-to-transform-anger-into-motivation

And if you have questions; or if you’d like to discuss anything else, I invite you to click here to register for this free event:

https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session

Even if you haven’t read the book, you’ve probably heard and seen references to the dystopian world of a bunch of kids who were stranded on an island with no adults.

The book is called Lord of the Flies and it has stood for a half century as a realistic view of the inherent greed, ambition, and violence we all possess as Human Beings.

In today’s episode, I relay a story of six real kids who found themselves on such an island, stranded for 15 months, but things turned out much differently:

This story confirms what neuroscientists have been telling us for the past 25 years: that we, as Humans, are wired for empathy, compassion, and kindness.

Of course, I also talk in today’s episode, about how the Author of Lord of the Flies, William Golding, struggled with much emotional overwhelm, including that which arises from chronic anger.

This, to me, illustrates how anger influences our world view and distorts our ability to see things - external and internal things - clearly.

If you’d like to learn more about anger: how it happens, where it comes from, and what it does to your body, I invite you to check out this free webinar on Sunday evening:

https://artburnscoaching.ac-page.com/how-to-transform-anger-into-motivation

And if you’d like to learn more about all of this work, ask any questions you might have, and possibly learn about what 1:1 coaching is like, click here to schedule your no-cost phone consultation:

https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session

One of the most common aspects of life for those of us who struggle with chronic anger is the feeling that we must control the circumstances around us.

We do this because we know that if we don’t people and situations will piss us off. Am I right?

But here’s the thing: We can’t control the people and circumstances around us. Not really, we can’t. And when we lose control, we get angry.

And when we get angry, we lose control even more.

Can you see how this can spiral out of control?

Have you experienced this before?

I know I have!

And in today’s episode I share another personal story about it:

https://youtu.be/qKz8kcRHCz0

If this story - or any of the other content I’ve published recently - resonates with you and your life experience, you might find a lot of benefit and value in the upcoming webinar I’m hosting (This Sunday, May 16th @ 6:00 pm MST):

https://artburnscoaching.ac-page.com/how-to-transform-anger-into-motivation

But maybe you have a more focused question about all of this, or would like to know more about my 1:1 coaching service. If this is so, please click here to book a free coaching session with me:

https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session

One of the most common sources of emotional struggle, like chronic Anger, lies in our relationship to our emotions.

Most of the time, we experience an emotion and we automatically react to it.

Because of the nature and behavior of our emotions, this is not an effective approach.

You see, when we feel beholden to react to big emotions like Anger, we don’t examine or contemplate the potential consequences to our reactions and this invariably sets up a cycle.

We react to an emotion…

That reaction carries a consequence from another person or from life circumstances (You drive fast in reaction to your anger and you get pulled over by a cop)...

This consequence causes another big emotion…

Another reaction…

Another consequence…

I think you can see where this leads.

In today’s episode, I offer another approach:

If you would like to go even deeper on this topic and learn many more techniques for working with your big emotions, I invite you to sign up for my free webinar next Sunday, May 16th, at 6:00 pm MST (8 Eastern, 5 Pacific):

https://artburnscoaching.ac-page.com/how-to-transform-anger-into-motivation

And if you’d like to learn more about all of this work, ask any questions you might have, and possibly learn about what 1:1 coaching is like, click here to schedule your no-cost phone consultation:

https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session

One of the most effective tools we have to process and resolve anger in our bodies is acceptance.

Let me explain what I mean.

If I get stuck in traffic while on my way to pick up my young child from school, it is certainly a problem - and possibly a serious one!

And in that moment, I have two choices:

I can resent the traffic and fear the consequences, allowing myself to lose control and succumb to the stress and anger arising in me and ultimately hijacking my nervous system…

Or, I can accept that there is nothing I can do to change the traffic and remain calm in the face of this potentially serious inconvenience.

Whichever course I choose, the traffic doesn’t change and I am still late.

But what does change - significantly - is who I will be when I show up to pick up my young child who is probably experiencing apprehension and fear because I’m not there for her.

So in the first scenario, I show up in all my anger and stress and I exacerbate her fear.

But in the second scenario, I show up in calm confidence and I allay her fear.

In today’s episode, I talk at length about this and how valuable it is to be able to accept the circumstances around us - at least for right now:

And if you’re interested in joining my online, interactive workshop next Sunday, May 16th, then please click this link to learn more and claim your spot:

https://artburnscoaching.ac-page.com/how-to-transform-anger-into-motivation?test=true

Also, tomorrow morning, I will be the substitute teacher in our Learning to Surf group meditation and discussion. So if you’re interested, I’d love to see you there. Click here to register:

https://www.meetup.com/learning-to-surf-talks-on-buddhism-meditation-mindfulness/events/gggcgsycchblb/

Finally, if you have any questions at all about my upcoming webinar, program, or anything at all that you’d like to ask or share, I invite you to click this link to schedule a no-cost phone consultation with me:

https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session

One of the more frustrating and damaging aspects of anger is the way it changes our perception both internally and externally.

In other words, Anger gets us coming and going!

In today’s episode, I talk about how this works and how it can set up a negative feedback loop:

https://youtu.be/KdKIZtftmOc

The good news is that we have the power to transform that negative feedback loop; that vicious cycle, into a positive, virtuous cycle.

But there is only one way to do this.

And it has nothing at all to do with the behavior of those around you.

It begins and ends with the work you can do on yourself.

And there’s even better news!!!

Next Sunday, I’ll be hosting a free online workshop that will go deep into this and many other important aspects of anger.

During this workshop, you’ll have the chance to sign up for my upcoming 12 week program: Anger, Transformed.

To sign up for the free workshop next Sunday (May 16th), click here:

https://artburnscoaching.ac-page.com/how-to-transform-anger-into-motivation?test=true

If you have any questions about this, or if you’d like to talk about something else, click here to schedule your no-cost phone consultation:

https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session

Many people - myself included - tend to conflate Anger and Rage, resulting in an important misunderstanding and confusion that can hinder our well-being and ability to be functional in this world.

Where Anger and Rage are similar is in that they are both emotions.

And as emotions, Anger and Rage serve specific and valuable purposes in our bodies and minds.

As emotions, Anger and Rage are also impermanent.

But where Anger and Rage differ is an important thing to understand.

In today’s episode, I go deep into this topic:

https://youtu.be/7V7l-ucSpO8

The main benefit of understanding both the similarities and the differences between these two powerful emotions is that understanding helps us to properly relate to these powerful emotions.

And, as I’ll show everyone who attends my free webinar next Sunday (5/16), learning to properly relate to these emotions is the most effective way to regulate and transform them into something less damaging and more productive than most people experience.

To sign up for the free webinar, just click here (there’s a simple form at the bottom of the page):

https://artburnscoaching.ac-page.com/how-to-transform-anger-into-motivation?test=true

And if you’d like to chat with me about these topics or anything else that’s on your mind, I invite you to click here to schedule a free phone consultation:

https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session

Finally, if you’re seeing this email early enough, you can join me and a wonderful group of people this evening for a guided meditation, followed by an open discussion. Click here to register and receive the link to join our meeting tonight:

https://www.meetup.com/learning-to-surf-talks-on-buddhism-meditation-mindfulness/events/vhrtfsycchbhb/

If you’ve ever survived a fit of rage or extreme anger - they’re not actually the same, which I’ll talk about in tomorrow’s episode - you know the feeling.

That feeling you have after the episode is over.

You feel your body calming back down and there’s a tingling, almost euphoric feeling you get in your body.

For those of us with chronic anger issues, this feeling is as good as we ever get to feel!

The feeling comes from the release of various happy hormones in our brains and it happens as a result of the release of the anger through expression.

And it becomes addictive!

Another experience that offers us a similar release of happy hormones after hyperarousal is a crisis.

In today’s episode, I go into some detail about how all this works in our bodies:

If you struggle with chronic anger and rage; or if you feel that you might be addicted to crisis, you’re gonna want to know about my upcoming course: Anger Transformed.

On Sunday, April 16th, I’ll be hosting a live online workshop. It’s totally free, and you can be among the first to sign up by clicking here:

https://artburnscoaching.ac-page.com/how-to-transform-anger-into-motivation?test=true

If you have questions about the upcoming program, webinar, or anything else, I invite you to schedule a no-cost phone consultation by clicking here:

https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session

You may have heard me mention another resource in my recordings: a weekly group meditation and discussion I host on meetup every Wednesday evening at 7:00 pm MST. It’s offered by donation, and if you’d like to join us tomorrow, please click here to register:

https://www.meetup.com/learning-to-surf-talks-on-buddhism-meditation-mindfulness/events/vhrtfsycchbhb/

Many of our emotional reactions, but anger especially, are influenced more by our internal circumstances than by our external experiences.

This explains the extreme difference in my reaction to the two different retail experiences - the pet store and the polo store - I shared last week.

The thing is that we can’t control the kid at the cash register, or the line of people in a store, or the weather, or the pandemic.

And if we try to control all of those external circumstances, we set ourselves up for even bigger issues - more on this another time!

One of the aspects of our internal circumstances over which we have complete control is our expectations.

Yet our expectations are something we almost never actually control! (But again, that’s a story for another time!)

In today’s episode, I talk about expectations and how they can lead to the anger and rage that will hijack our day and ruin our chances of happiness either alone or with our families:

As I mention in the video, the key is to first see the expectations and then to recognize our reaction when our expectations go unmet.

And I can teach you how to do this!

If you’d like to learn about the new program I’m launching in about three weeks - Anger, Transformed - or to talk immediately about the danger of unmanaged expectations, please click this link to schedule your no-cost phone consultation:

https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session

And if you’d like to take advantage of another valuable resource, please join me on Wednesday evening for a guided meditation, followed by a discussion which is essentially a group coaching session, click here to register:

https://www.meetup.com/learning-to-surf-talks-on-buddhism-meditation-mindfulness/events/vhrtfsycchbhb/

Finally, if you’re interested in supporting this work, please consider becoming a patron of the show by clicking here:

https://www.patreon.com/artburns

I am getting so excited about the course I’m offering in a few weeks from now: Anger, Transformed!!!

I’m excited to help people to understand, befriend, and transform the powerful emotion of Anger that has a way of interfering with our lives and our happiness.

One of the concepts we’ll be covering is the way kindness and compassion are very effective antidotes to Anger and its sources.

But what happens when compassion and kindness are refuted or ignored and someone does something to hurt us in spite of the kindness we showed them?

Well, in this case, I would invite you to consider the Apple Tree.

In today’s episode, I talk about the Apple Tree’s intention and how it is never concerned with the outcome of its fruit:

This is a crucial lesson in Anger Transformation and one we will cover in great depth in the upcoming 12-week course: Anger, Transformed.

But if you have any immediate questions about this metaphor or any other topics that influence anger - or to find out more about the course itself - I invite you to click this link and schedule your no-cost phone consultation with me:

https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session