In our interpersonal experiences, we are often triggered by the way we perceive other people treating us.

One of the most profound influences on our thoughts, and therefore on our lives, is something called the negativity bias.

The negativity bias is the unconscious inclination of our mind to notice the negative over the positive.

It doesn’t mean we actually experience more negative things in our lives.

We just notice the negative more than the positive.

So when we pay attention to the positive aspects of our lives through gratitude and compassion practices, we create a balance of our thoughts and open ourselves up to the potential we never considered before.

We can see pleasure in the mundane aspects of life.

We can see the benefit of even the most difficult experiences of our lives.

And we can see the good in the most hurtful people.

This ability is a skill. And like any other skill, it is trainable.

Would you like to learn some simple practices to train these skills in your life?

The next time you think something is impossible for you, I want you to remember this story.

It’s a story about running.

Particularly, it’s a story about The Four Minute Mile.

For many years, The Four Minute mike was held as the Holy Grail for track runners.

In 1945, someone ran a mile faster than anyone before, at 4:01:03.

And for the next nine years, no one could close that gap of fewer than 1.5 seconds.

But on a rainy and windy evening in Oxford, England, after working all day at the hospital, Sir Roger Bannister ran a mile in 3:59:04.

He had abundant evidence, like everyone else in the running world, to believe it was impossible.

But he thought he could do it and he did.

And then something really fascinating happened: 46 days later, another runner broke the four-minute barrier.

And since then, over 1,300 runners have done it.

So how is it that for so many years this thing seemed impossible and now was nearly routine?

Because once one person did it, those who followed him thought it could be done.

So the next time you think something is impossible in your life, I invite you to think the opposite and keep going.

The world around us is created by our thoughts.

Of course, I wish it were true that if I just think of a brand new car sitting in my driveway, it will magically appear.

But that’s not what I mean.

What I mean is that when you think something about the world or the people in it, that’s what or who is going to show up.

If you think Monday is going to be a crappy day, then your brain will filter out any evidence to the contrary and you will indeed see a crappy day.

It doesn’t mean that the day actually is crappy. But it will seem that way to you.

If you see a willful and difficult child in front of you, then that’s the child who’ll be there.

It doesn’t mean that your child is ‘only’ difficult and willful. But that is ‘only’ what you will see.

Check out the video for a super simple practice to neutralize this thought-based bias and start seeing things in a way that will allow for happiness, confidence, and connection in every area of your life.

The metaphor ‘Train of Thought’ could possibly be the most accurate metaphor ever created.

With more than 77% of American adults experiencing chronic stress, it is one of the most common afflictions of our culture.

Yet, ironically, it happens to be one of the most often misunderstood.

Most of us attribute our stress to the external experiences of our lives.

We think traffic is stress.

We think our kids behavior is stress.

We think work is stress.

But the truth is that these external experiences are the things that cause our stress.

To be clear, it’s our mental and emotional relationship to the outcomes of these things that cause our stress.

Stress is the physical, embodied response to a mental and/or emotional experience.

Therefore, the way to reduce stress is to become more familiar - more aware - of how it feels in our body.

Developing this awareness allows us to address the stress before it hijacks our day.

Check out the video for some simple practice suggestions.

And if you’d like some more support, please drop a comment below or reach out with a message.

As a stress reduction coach, I get to talk to a lot of stressed out people.

People from all walks of life.

And one very common thing I hear from people when we start talking about mindfulness and meditation is that they crave that moment of bliss.

Of course, moments of bliss are wonderful!

In fact, they’re downright... Er... Blissful.

But moments of bliss don’t last forever and pretty soon the bliss we feel wears off and the stressors of life - which didn’t go away during the moment of bliss, we simply ignored them - take over again and put us right back in survival mode.

Mindfulness is not about bypassing our stress with bliss.

Instead, mindfulness is about learning to live life with presence, acceptance, and compassion so we can permanently rid ourselves of the chronic stress that affects so many people.

So bliss is always accessible to us in every moment!

And all it takes is a few minutes a day.

How does that sound to you?

How important is awareness of our thoughts?

Well, virtually any time we find ourselves overwhelmed with negative emotions that cause uncomfortable, even painful, sensations in our bodies, we can trace it back to one single thought that started the whole thing.

So when we can notice that one single thought - anything from a bad experience with a bicycle mechanic to a leaky faucet or an inconvenient expense of some kind - we can choose to interrupt the cycle of negativity before it gains so much momentum that it hijacks our day.

Think of a train approaching from a half mile away... you hear the horn and see a little puff of smoke on the horizon.

At this point, you can do anything you want to avoid the danger that train may pose.

It is simply not a threat at that point.

But if you don’t see the train until it’s 50 meters away, now it is one of the most dangerous and threatening things you can possibly experience.

The same could be said of your thoughts and emotions.

When you develop vivid awareness, you maintain control and easily protect yourself from the harmful consequences of your negative thoughts.

What do you think?

Back in the period of my life when I was afflicted with chronic stress, I felt like there was never enough time.

I was always rushing and in a panic about the next thing on my list.

And I was never really present with what was happening to me at any given moment.

But once I learned about the stress response of my body, I realized that this perception was actually caused by the stress.

Not the other way around.

And once I learned how to ground myself in the present moment, with acceptance and compassion, I realized that I had much more time available to me that I’d ever thought.

I’ve seen the same result in so many people who felt just like I used to feel.

And they all achieved the results with the same simple practices I did.

Do you often feel short on time?

Would you like to learn more?

In our society, we tend to put a very high value on striving.

And it’s baked into the system.

When we get to the end of kindergarten, we celebrate with a ‘moving up’ ceremony.

And every year, as the grade numbers get higher and higher, we’re constantly preparing for the next phase:

The career.

The spouse.

The home.

The family.

The bigger home.

The better job.

And it goes on and on until we look back on our lives and say: ‘How did my kids grow up so fast?’

There’s nothing wrong with having big goals and wanting these things for ourselves and our families.

But if we don’t balance our happiness now with our desire for the future, we miss out on so much.

Watch the video to learn how this mindset impacts the way we perceive the behavior of our kids. ❤️