Shut Yer Five Hole Hockey Talk

By Meg and Piper

What's Shut Yer Five Hole Hockey Talk about?

Serious sports analysts Meg and Piper dive into the heart of hockey, sharing feelings-based commentary and discussing the latest in hockey news! Spoiler: they're not serious, nor are they sports analysts. They just really, really love hockey. New episodes every other Thursday!

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Shut Yer Five Hole Hockey Talk episodes:

06.23.2018
Season 2 Finale
Take one last, severely belated look at the season with Meg and Piper! We share our fave moments from the 2017-18 season, and let you know what to expect for the off-season!
05.04.2018
Ask Your Doctor
This week, Meg and Piper discuss round 2 of the playoffs, pro hockey "where are they now" stories, and more!
04.19.2018
Playoffs Baby
It's Stanley Cup Playoffs, and you know what that means! Misery, complaining, and more misery. We try to figure out why Snoop Dogg is teaching us about hockey, analyze the Vegas Golden Knights' dramatic game 1 intro, and generally just...
04.06.2018
Emergency Backup Podcast
Piper is back again, podcasting from Vietnam! We get stoked on backup goalies and NHL rivalries, simultaneously diss and tip our hats to the Vegas Golden Knights, and ask the question: why can't hockey players button their shirts right?
03.22.2018
A Quebec Quandary
This week, while Piper is away having cool adventures and eating delicious noodles, Meg is joined by special guest host and good pal Lee! We get to know Lee, complain about the standings (wtf Golden Knights?), and subject Lee to...
03.08.2018
Back from the Dead
We're back! With a rundown of Meg's errant health, reactions from the Olympics, a trade rant, Moms! and more.
02.08.2018
Jaromir Jägermeister
This week we tackle our best and worst of the All-Star Game, bid farewell to a hockey legend, and pitch our million-dollar hockey ideas to the BBC. Also, Piper almost died recently and she tells us about it!
01.25.2018
Mechanical Bull Debacle
We're back and better than ever, with our most professional and put-together episode to date! Tune in for 2018 predictions, a lesson on now defunct hockey teams, an embarrassing game (for everyone), and Shut Yer Five Hole's official stance on...
12.28.2017
Predatory Billet Mom
In the last episode of 2017, Meg and Piper harshly judge this year's NHL holiday videos and share our best and worst moments of 2017 in hockey.
12.14.2017
Happy All of the Holidays
Meg and Piper disagree on an unprecedented number of things! Meg actually does okay on this week's quiz! We get stoked on Seattle, share our hockey holiday gift giving tips, and other nonsense!
11.30.2017
Skjei
Piper gets on her soapbox about negativity in the media and hockey players as... real people? We do that hockey with Chance the Rapper's SNL sketch, Professor Piper gives us the 411 on the Blues, and there's a quiz about...
11.16.2017
Choulette is Born
Are you sick of hearing about that crazy Duchene trade yet? Yes? Well too bad, because buckle up for Meg & Piper opinions. Then we meet infant baby Chu-Ouellette, weigh in on our heated "hockey fights" debate, and welcome a...
11.02.2017
Spooky Porn
It's our spooky Halloween episode, airing on November 2nd! Close enough. We talk spooky NHL costumes, the spooky Mexican Hockey League, the Arizona Coyotes finally winning a spooky game, and spooky bromance! It's spooooky.
10.19.2017
Hat Tracks
Record-breaking hat tricks! Marc-Andre McFlurry and the Vegas Kinda-Winning-Right-Now-I-Guess! The villainous KHL Red Army! Mascot abs! Meg and Piper are here to bring you everything you could possibly want from the second episode of the second season.
10.05.2017
Double Sin Bin
We're back for the regular season! We warm up with a quiz, share what we missed the most about hockey, and make carefully researched predictions about the 2017-18 season.
08.10.2017
What About My Boner
Join Meg and Piper in the dead of summer for their thoughts on hockey weddings, the Carolina Hurricanes, the ESPN Body Issue, and body shots. With bonus mini-game!
06.29.2017
Not Good Languagers
It's our first off season episode! We talk the NHL Awards, Vegas Golden Knights expansion draft, and ask: why are hockey players so bad at acting like real life human beings?
06.15.2017
Season 1 Finale
Your hosts talk the Stanley Cup, give thanks for a truly fruitful season, and hit you with all the deets for Shut Yer Five Hole's off-season and beyond! (Is that what the kids say? "Hit you up"? "Deets"??)
06.08.2017
Playoffs Mini Round 8
Tune in for the penultimate episode of season 1 with Piper and Meg! We talk Nashville decibel level conspiracies; the Stanley Cup Final and how we hope it all wraps up; and last but not least, we tackle a very controversial subject:...
06.01.2017
Playoffs Mini Round 7
Your hosts bring their expert hockey analysis to the Stanley Cup Finals! We talk shots on goal, Rinne's save percentages, Corsi, and-- just kidding, we mostly just try to figure out what kind of sea creature we'd put down our...
05.25.2017
Playoffs Mini Round 6
Join Meg and Piper in a special gloomy episode! We put a lot of hockey players in the sin bin. A whole pile of guys. Sin bin o' dudes! (Now available with every order of SYFH.)
05.18.2017
Playoffs Mini Round 5
Meg blacks out and goes on an anti-Ryan Kesler diatribe, Piper tries desperately to find interesting facts about the Ottawa Senators (spoiler: there aren't any), and the Penguins are still winning somehow.
05.11.2017
Playoffs Mini Round 4
Piper is back from the war! This week Meg can't begin to articulate her Game 7 stress, Piper shares some words of wisdom from her post-operative drug haze, and we laugh at Connor McDavid's awkward airport photo op.
05.04.2017
Playoffs Mini Round 3
Piper is out of commission this week, so Meg is joined by special guest host Donya to discuss the epic drama of the Capitals vs Penguins series. What was up with that hit on Crosby? Is Ovechkin really part of...
04.27.2017
Playoff Mini Round 2
This week Meg and Piper talk playoffs, complain about all these ding dang overtimes, and ask: if your team is dead, who are you cheering for now? Plus bonus AHL content!
04.20.2017
Playoffs Mini Round 1
Welcome to the first ever Shut Yer Five Hole Playoffs Mini Episode! We bring you the latest in the rollercoaster of emotion that is the Stanley Cup Playoffs, and even a little taste of AHL action. Stay tuned for weekly...
04.13.2017
DJ Sound Tiger
In this final episode of the regular season, we discuss the 2018 Olympics, the Stanley Cup Playoffs, and Professor Piper gives the lowdown on the Washington Capitals. Meg also fails tremendously in a final mini game featurette, in which we...
03.30.2017
WTF is Corsi
Your hosts pull themselves away from exploring new worlds in Mass Effect: Andromeda real quick to record this week's episode. They ruminate on the possibilities of Cirque du Soleil partnering with the Vegas Golden Knights, stress over the playoffs, and try...
03.16.2017
Now a Quidditch Podcast
Meg and Piper visit the ghosts of hockey's past, present, and future in this week's episode. What went down in the GM meeting in Florida, and what does it mean for hockey's future? What kinda crazy changes have happened in...
03.02.2017
Hockey is for Everyone
We're back from an impromptu bye week! We celebrate Hockey is For Everyone, learn ya good about the NWHL, and Meg gets up on her soapbox for a call-out rant or two. And don't miss the triumphant return of the...
02.02.2017
Meet Jo Hockey
Welcome to the Newfoundland Special! This week Meg and Piper sat down in St. John's to drink Iceberg beer and talk weird Newfoundland traditions, embarrassing AHL antics, and the All-Star Game. But that's not all. For the first time ever,...
01.19.2017
Hockey Illuminati
Your hosts discuss all things esoteric in this week's episode. Meg dismantles the web of conspiracy surrounding Alex Ovechkin, Piper uncovers the missing link between goalies and the Spanish Inquisition, and we ask the pressing question: are Bostonians really just bears...
01.05.2017
Black Magic BJs
It is the year of our Lord 2017 and the Columbus Blue Jackets are in the midst of an ominous winning streak. Is this the end of days? Did the team cast a dark spell of some kind? Are they...
12.22.2016
Naughty or Nice?
Join Piper and Meg by the crackling yule log as we wrap up the year in our last episode of 2016. We review our fave NHL holiday videos, hand out coal to bad hockey boys, and share our faves and least faves...
12.08.2016
Immortal Aaron Ekdad
Meg and Piper chat about the Vegas Golden Knights and the upcoming 2017 All-Star Hockey Butt Spectacular... I mean Game. We also give voice to our inner professional actors in a dramatic re-enactment, and use our hockey expertise to shed light...
11.24.2016
Orphans On Ice
It's our Thanksgiving episode! The world outside is frightful, but the hockey is so delightful. We talk team charities, inspiring underdog stories, the secret lives of mascots, and more! So curl up by the fire, sip on some cocoa, and...
11.10.2016
Sin Bin
This week, we discuss the ultimate in adorable hockey non-rivalries: Connor McDavid vs Auston Matthews. Meg shares some health and wellness wisdom for hockey fans, and Piper asks: wtf is a flamingo? We also shamelessly rate hockey players based on facial hair,...
10.27.2016
The Lucky Butt
What is the lucky butt? Who are the Winnipeg Jets? Is Meg still feuding with the Oilers? How is Piper's fantasy hockey sadness, I mean team, doing? Who in their right mind would bench Auston Matthews for his debut NHL...
10.13.2016
Thirsty Thursday
In this week's down and dirty episode, Meg and Piper tackle sexy hockey topics, including: bromance (on and off the ice); how to score a hockey boyfriend; and a sure to be classic segment, Hockey Hotties. Professor Piper makes a guest appearance to...
09.27.2016
Preseason 2016-17
Welcome to the 2016-17 preseason! In this Shut Yer Five Hole pilot episode, your hosts Meg and Piper give you a glimpse into our shameful pasts as we share our hockey origin stories. We also discuss Milan Lucic's adopted son Connor McDavid, annoying new...

What's Shut Yer Five Hole Hockey Talk about?

Download our free app to listen on your phone

Shut Yer Five Hole Hockey Talk episodes:

Season 2 Finale

Ask Your Doctor

Playoffs Baby

Emergency Backup Podcast

A Quebec Quandary

Back from the Dead

Jaromir Jägermeister

Mechanical Bull Debacle

Predatory Billet Mom

Happy All of the Holidays

Skjei

Choulette is Born

Spooky Porn

Hat Tracks

Double Sin Bin

What About My Boner

Not Good Languagers

Season 1 Finale

Playoffs Mini Round 8

Playoffs Mini Round 7

Playoffs Mini Round 6

Playoffs Mini Round 5

Playoffs Mini Round 4

Playoffs Mini Round 3

Playoff Mini Round 2

Playoffs Mini Round 1

DJ Sound Tiger

WTF is Corsi

Now a Quidditch Podcast

Hockey is for Everyone

Meet Jo Hockey

Hockey Illuminati

Black Magic BJs

Naughty or Nice?

Immortal Aaron Ekdad

Orphans On Ice

Sin Bin

The Lucky Butt

Thirsty Thursday

Preseason 2016-17