Silver Bullet Survivor

In this episode, I discuss ways to think about and talk to your kids when they are angry. 

The coach I reference in this episode is Dr. Amy J.L. Baker. Her website is https://www.amyjlbaker.com. 

The book I reference in this episode is called "The Whole-Brain Child", by authors Daniel J. Siegel M.D. and Tina Payne Bryson. 

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In this episode, I talk about how to talk to your kids regarding the divorce and the situation in a way that makes sense to them and to establish yourself as the strong and stable parent. 

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In this episode, I talk about CPS investigations and how to prepare for one. 

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In this episode, I do a deep dive into the "discard" and why it is so destructive. 

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In this episode, I talk about the silver lining of being a silver bullet survivor. I'm so much happier now than when I was in the marriage, and it's a lot easier for me to be grateful for the positive things in my life and to look forward to something that I'm excited about. 

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In this episode, I talk about "father wounds" and its correlation to toxic masculinity. 

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In this episode, I talk about the things I wish I knew about family law before being in this horrible situation. 

Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer. I am not your lawyer. This is not legal advice. These are just things I wish I knew. If you have questions, contact a family law attorney and do a consultation. 

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In this episode, I reflect on this journey I've been on, and what I've learned from it. 

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On this episode, I share the best way to get revenge against your ex. You need to do 2 things:

1. Be the best version of yourself. 
2. Be better than your ex. 

Not just slightly better. Your goodness has to completely shadow her badness. If your ex is at -5, you have to be at 6. If your ex is -10, you have to be at 11. 

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On this episode, I outline several steps I took in order to undo the brainwashing and alienation my children were exposed to. The general steps I took are below. All links to websites do NOT have affiliate links so I'm not getting paid for any of them. This is just what I've done, and what I bought.

The most important thing to do is to start getting overnights. Then you can do these things a lot more effectively.

1. Buy children’s books that focus on parenting (whatever gender you are). Bonus points for focusing on the specific relationship (father-daughter, mother-son, etc).
2. Buy custom books. I used Wonderbly. https://www.instagram.com/wonderbly/?hl=en
3. Buy custom-shirts. I forget the vendor I used, but this is the shirt I got. https://www.etsy.com/listing/1706642294/custom-the-legend-of-dad-shirt-best-dad
4. Listen to your children’s favorite songs. Sing along with them.
5. Play video games, especially one-player games where you figure things out. Don’t play 1v1 or games where you fight each other.
6. Go outside, go adventuring. We look for acorns, go fishing, go hiking.
7. Buy them gifts. Doesn’t have to be expensive. Examples of things I bought my kids that they loved:
   1. https://www.amazon.com/Treasure-Multicolor-Diamonds-Drawstring-Decorations/dp/B093LJ2PX9
   2. https://www.amazon.com/Metal-Pirate-Coins-Doubloons-Realistic/dp/B0821QY292
8. Make them friendship bracelets.
9. Let your kids see you do grown-up things.
10. Do things that show your kids you’re thinking of them when they’re not with you.
11. Talk to your kids about general things in life. 
12. Read them bedtime stories. Anything from children’s books to Lord of the Rings.
13. Buy them a stuffed animal, something they can sleep with. 
14. Most powerful thing I've done ==> Sing them lullabies and caress their hair while they’re falling asleep.
15. Volunteer at their school. And let them see you volunteer.

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