Simplify Complexity: Christian Relationship Advice & Help

For those that have experienced a breakup or divorce can understand the emotional and physical toll it can take on you. In relationships you invest a lot to make them work. You open up your heart to another person, trusting that they will value it. Unfortunately, many times that is not the case. Trust is broken by one, sometimes both, and hearts are left behind in the wake of its destruction. So what do you do? Are there tips to healing from a breakup?

One would be lying if they said healing comes easy. The truth is healing takes time especially depending on the depth of the relationship and hurt. The good news is healing does exists. The pain you feel doesn’t have to haunt you for the rest of your life, “if” you choose not to allow it.

In this podcast episode we share proven principles that you can apply to your life helping you gain healing from a breakup. Pastor Wallace opens up sharing his own battle with heartache and how these principles helped him. Like a scar from a deep wound, healing doesn’t mean forgetting. Rather, healing means you are able to move on in life with joy and peace that God can provide.

Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace & Keonte McDonald

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Good communication is critical to any successful relationship. Unfortunately, many couples don’t always consider how they communicate over messaging as part of their good communication skills. The truth is people spend way more time messaging than actually talking over the phone. Therefore understanding basic do’s and don’ts of messaging in marriage will save you many headaches in the future.

For the most part, couples know that rolling your eyes or yelling isn’t good communication. It doesn’t necessarily stop people from doing it, but at least they know it’s not helpful. Yet, do couples know how they text can cause someone to feel like you are yelling at them, or a simple emoji to your spouse can brighten their day.

In this podcast episode we have fun discussing some of the do’s and don’ts of messaging in marriage. This differs quite a bit verses dating so we thought we would split them in different shows. If you care to listen to the tips we share to those dating you can check that out too. It will definitely give you a perspective of how they differ.

We want to hear from you! What are some of your embarrassing moments? Did we miss something? What advice would you share when messaging?

Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace and Keonte McDonald

The post Do’s and Don’ts of Text Messaging in Marriage appeared first on Simplify Complexity.

Good communication is critical to any successful relationship. This is even more apparent early in the dating process, because one mistake could end your interaction forever. Therefore there are unwritten rules of communication when dating, yet with each generation these rules evolve. Today the primary form of communication is text messaging. Whether messaging through text or direct message (DM) the do’s and don’ts of messaging when dating are there, but do you understand them?

For the most part people know that you probably shouldn’t call someone ten times in one day after your first date (aka unwritten rule). Yet do people know that probably shouldn’t text someone ten times either. Messaging is a whole new world. We have basic etiquettes, emojis, bit-emoji’s, abbreviations, memes, videos and pictures. Using all CAPS is a no-no, and sending the incorrect emoji could cause embarrassment and spell doom.

In this podcast episode we have fun discussing some of the do’s and don’ts of messaging when dating. We share some of our embarrassing moments and other helpful tips that can help you navigate communication in the twenty-first century. For those married, we have a part 2 discussing do’s and don’ts to be release next week.

We want to hear from you! What are some of your embarrassing moments? Did we miss something? What advice would you share when messaging?

Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace and Keonte McDonald

The post Do’s and Don’ts of Text Messaging when Dating appeared first on Simplify Complexity.

This is a question that takes on a new meaning today. In the past to say your relationship was private (a.k.a secret) meant you didn’t tell anyone about your relationship. For example, your friends, family and others in your community didn’t know about or had little details of your relationship. Today this isn’t how many define a private relationship. Today a private relationship is one that is not posted on social media for the world to see. This is regardless if your family, friends and close community know about your relationship.

People approach social media differently, for some they post pictures of everything they do and for others they are more conservative and intentional as to the things that they post. This raises the question when it comes to relationships; what should you post? Should you keep your relationship private on social media?

When answering the question, should you keep your relationship private there isn’t necessarily a right or wrong approach, rather one has to look at their life, their values and decide what is best for them. There are many different variables and pressures that come with posting or NOT posting on social media. There are also healthy and possibly unhealthy motives of why one post or DOES NOT post their relationship. In this episode we explore all these variables and give our thoughts as to things you can be mindful of as you navigate social media and relationships.

What say you? Please leave in the comments your take on this question should people post about the relationship on social media?

Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace and Keonte McDonald

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Getting married is an exciting time! A big part of that excitement is moving in together. This is what a couple has been dreaming about and waiting for. That moment when their lives fuse together as one. Although this is exhilarating, it can also be stressful. I believe the first year of marriage can be one of the most stressful and difficult years of any marriage. Part of what plays into this stress is moving in together, and all the adjustments that come with it.

Often times couples aren’t communicating pre-move. Many are not even aware of what thing they should discuss or prepare for before moving in. As a result they are blindsided! Caught off guard with challenges or resentment that can splinter a couple before they even get started.

In this Newlywed Chronicle, I want to talk about things that you should think about and begin to communicate as you are seeking to move in together. Don’t underestimate the complexities of the move. Manage the stress by being proactive! The better you start your marriage the higher chance of its success.

Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace

The post Moving In Together: Managing the Stress (Newlywed Chronicle Ep. 4) appeared first on Simplify Complexity.

Going LIVE on social media throughout the week to share faith, life & relationship encouragements is something God placed on my heart, and is important to me. One of those is my Newlywed Chronicles. I started off two months ago committed and consistent. It was going good! Yet as the weeks went on, my consistency waned.

During this time God convicted me, “stop putting off until tomorrow the things I should do today.” As I seek to rectify my mistake I want to use it as an encouragement today to you. Pushing things off until tomorrow isn’t just a me problem, it’s a human problem. There are things we know are important, things we know we should do, but we don’t do them. We allow other things less significant to take their place.

This is also true in relationships. There are important things you should be doing, but you’re maybe pushing off doing them. Maybe it’s having that tough conversation. Maybe it’s planning that date you promised to do. Maybe it’s having intimacy with your spouse that you haven’t done in over a month. Whatever it is that you’re pushing off, it is ultimately hurting your relationship, because it’s not getting done.

In this Newlywed Chronicle episode, I want to encourage you don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today!

Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace

The post UGH! Why do I put off until tomorrow, what I should do TODAY? (Newlywed Chronicle Ep-3) appeared first on Simplify Complexity.

Throughout much of history the male has occupied this role, while the wife mainly took care of the kids and home. This didn’t make it right or wrong, but was a result of tradition. During World War I in America this tradition began to change. Woman took to the work force more than ever to meet the needs of the country, and to pay the bills while their husband’s were at war. Yet, once the war ended, the role of the breadwinner would never be the same.

Today it is not uncommon to find many women who make more money than men, and wives who are the primary income earner for their family. Again, this doesn’t make it right or wrong, but there are plenty of people who feel indifferent about the subject of the wife being the breadwinner.

In short, Tabatha was grateful to be in a position to be the primary breadwinner for her family, and expressed excitement for her husband to retire so he could focus on other pursuits. Wendy got wind of this, and shared her doubts publicly that their marriage would last, if Tabitha chose to support her husband. Unfortunately, Wendy expressed her doubts from a place of recent hurt, as she previously supported her husband who ended up leaving her.

In this podcast episode we take a look at the idea of the wife being the primary income earner of the home. We ask the question is it OK? Is it right or wrong for the wife to be the breadwinner? We also look at what the Bible has to say and why possibly some people may struggle with women being the breadwinner.

Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace & Keonte McDonald

The post Is it Right or Wrong for the Wife to be the Breadwinner (Wendy/Tabitha Drama)? appeared first on Simplify Complexity.

Relationships have their challenges, but what happens when you are part of the problem, versus part of the solution? When this occurs you are self sabotaging your own relationship success. The hard part about self sabotage is often times there is an unawareness or self-deception. Meaning, a person doesn’t see how they are contributing to the problem. They are quick to point out what others are, or are not doing, but not themselves.

One of the best things people can do to obtain relationship success is take a really hard look at themselves. Self examination is a biblical principle. God tells us that the heart is more deceitful than all else, and is desperately sick; who can understand it (Jeremiah 17:9)? He also tells us to test yourselves to see if you are in the faith; examine yourselves (2Cor. 13:5)!

In this podcast episode we first examine ways people sabotage themselves in relationships. Next we discuss things people can do to avoid self sabotaging their relationship success, and ultimately be part of the solution versus the problem. Whether single or married, this is an important topic that everyone should listen into. Please post your comments, leave a review, and share with a friend.

Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace

The post Are you Self Sabotaging Your Relationship Success? appeared first on Simplify Complexity.

Trust is a foundational piece to any relationship. Unfortunately there are moments within a relationship where that trust is broken. Maybe it’s a partner who has good intentions but doesn’t do all the things they promise to do. Maybe it’s someone who continually does something hurtful. They say they’re sorry, but their actions aren’t changing. Even worst, maybe it’s a scenario of someone cheating on another. Regardless of the severity of the breakdown, if a relationship is going to survive, trust must be restored. How do you rebuild trust in a damaged relationship?

Our topic this week comes from a listener, Izabel:

Izabel says, “hello, I just wanna say thank you guys for doing what you do on your podcast. This is the first one I’ve even listen to and now I’ve just about gone through every one. I went searching for some hope somewhere new, and definitely found it. It lifts my spirits! I go to listen to this when I am having anxieties about my relationship as a reminder that God is in control. My partner and I have started listening together on car rides to work every morning. I was wondering if you guys could do one a topic on rebuilding trust in a damaged relationship. If you were to do that it would be so amazing, thank you again.”

In this podcast episode we’re grateful for Izabel sharing such a great topic. We will first talk about what happens when there’s a breakdown in trust within a relationship. We will then offer critical tips that one can take in order to rebuild trust in a damaged relationship. This is not an easy process and will take patients and much prayer. But it’s also not impossible! If you know someone who is struggling within a relationship this is a great podcast to share with them.

Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace and Keonte McDonald

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In life, people change! Hopefully for most of us those changes are for the better. As we get older and we have life experiences, those life experiences impact us differently. As a result we are not who we used to be and we’re not going to be who we are. This doesn’t mean we all have dramatic changes, but it does mean there are new things that we learn about ourselves and there will be new things we learn about another.

When dating a couple takes time to learn one another. I call this data collecting. It’s through this process that you collect information to determine whether or not if they are who you want to spend the rest of your life with, marry. But just because you’ve spent time to learn someone, doesn’t mean that that’s all there is to learn. One of the challenges newlyweds will come across is the frustration they are learning each other all over again.

In this Newlywed Chronicle I highlight reasons why people feel they’re learning a person all over again in relationships. This is not a bad thing but it is something to be conscious of, not allowing it to frustrate and spoil your relationship. I end by offering 5 points that will help you better your relationship when growing together.

1. Learn each other within a relationship never stops
2. Be confident in the choice you made
3. Talk, Talk and then talk some more
4. Enjoy the moments
5. Check your expectations

Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace

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