As seen in the Daily Mail, here is the interview: It was a privilege to interview Sue Brayne on her book: Sex, Meaning and the Menopause. Written for men and women, this book describes the pain and anguish, the broken relationships through misunderstanding menopause. A highly recommended read, now listen to the interview.
Interview with Sue Brayne, author of Sex, Meaning and the Menopause
KC: Hello everybody it’s Kathryn Colas here from Simply Hormones.com, and I’m here today to talk to Sue Brayne. Sue has written a super book that’s just come out called Sex Meaning and the Menopause. I’m going to just say a bit about that before we start talking to Sue.
I’ve had a preview, and I like it very much. The book tackles taboos around sexual changes, looks at the grief of saying goodbye to youth and fertility, explores deeper spiritual significance of the ageing process, provides a different perspective on medical treatments and alternative approaches, and hears from men about what it’s like to live with a menopausal woman. I know my husband would like some input on that one. Anyway, hello Sue, nice to talk to you at last.
SB: Hi Kathryn.
KC: If we can just plunge straight into your book, I’d like to ask you what thoughts ultimately led you to wanting to write this book?
SB: I got really fed up trying to find information that worked for me personally, and being told that I ought to have my menopause fixed through hormone treatment. I felt angry about that. I was certainly having some changes, but I was lucky with my menopause – I only had a few tepid glows, as I call them, and some headaches – but I noticed huge sexual changes. That was the big thing. I didn’t understand what was going on, but all the information I read about it was that I should get it fixed. If I didn’t, there was something wrong with me. I found that really distressing.
KC: Yes, and it’s that dreaded ‘M’ word, nobody wants to mention it do they? So is it a dysfunction in need of treatment? What’s your view on this?
SB: Well, I don’t necessarily think it is [dreaded]. Some women have a lot of symptoms that I didn’t, which are very distressing. When it is extremely distressing, we do have modern medicine that can help. Certainly to contain it, or to re-balance what’s going on. Everybody has every right to that treatment if it is available.
But I think there’s an awful lot of women like me who aren’t necessarily distressed about what is happening to them, except there is a confusion about the sexual changes which are happening. Certainly my libido took a major plummet. [At the time] I didn’t understand this. [Most information] talks about the body beginning to malfunction. I thought, ‘No, it’s not. I’m 52. I’m just normally going through what my body should be going through at this age.’
KC: I read recently research on how it’s now being accepted that menopause is a major health event in a woman’s life. There’s so much information out there if you want to become pregnant, if you are pregnant, and if you’re a new parent, but there is still so little on the menopause itself.
SB: My big issue is that the menopause is much more than a medical event. It’s much much more complex than that. [It’s also] a profound spiritual deepening. You’re called to the deepest part of yourself. You have to say goodbye to the woman that you were. You have to say goodbye to your fertility. You have to say goodbye to the fact that men don’t fancy you particularly any more – or certainly find you attractive in a different way – and you have to face the fact that you are now ageing. For me, it was a confusing time. I couldn’t find anything out there to help me. That’s why I ended up writing the book. So, the book is not about medical symptoms. It’s about deeper, complex issues that we face as individuals, and collectively, as we go through the menopause.
KC: Yes, that’s right, because it is an emotional rollercoaster. You do feel as if you’re all over the pl[...]