Simply Life By Honey Madison

Seriously, people, this is getting ridiculous. Do you have to be available 247? One of the most embarrassing cell phone situations I’ve experienced was when I walked into a public restroom with only two stalls. I had assumed the position and tried not to think about the other woman in the adjoining stall who was no doubt also taking care of business...

It takes a lot of work to get me to look traditionally beautiful. Faux everything is involved – hair, eyelashes, figure…you name it, and I need it. I imagine a drag queen doesn’t have to work as hard as I do to look like an attractive woman. Heck, I know drag queens don’t have to work as hard. Have you see Rupaul’s legs?! Stunningly gorgeous! Ahh, to have those legs. Plucking, shaving, clipping, painting – it is like an ultimate makeover, home edition.

It was a random set of symptoms that compelled me to set an appointment with my doctor. The first was the ability to hold things. Such a simple thing, but I have truly missed it since it’s been gone. Bottle caps, cups, my cell phone (more than once) just seem to fly out of my hands at regular intervals. I think I’ve grasped an item sufficiently the next thing I know it has dropped to the floor with a conspicuous thud and rolled under the stove. Then, I am on my hands and knees with ass in the air, cussing, trying to find it.

Hiking is not the easiest activity for me. Don’t get me wrong. I love walking! I would happily walk everywhere if time weren’t a factor. I’m an excellent walker on flat, paved sidewalks. But hiking with any kind of elevation is a bit different. Add to that rocks, dirt, water, bugs, snakes, and all manner of other natural objects and animals, then things can be a bit challenging. So when Handsome declared he wanted to hike a mountain, I was more than a little reluctant.

Have you ever tried Buckeyes? Not me. I had no idea what they were until Handsome told me about them. To be honest, I thought he was talking about a football team at first. But, it turned out, that Buckeyes are essentially peanut butter balls, like a Reese’s Peanut Butter cup turned inside out.

Somehow my brain remembers almost everything upside down and backward. Heading to a meeting at 1011 NW 34th Street and somehow I find myself looking for 1101 NW 43rd Street. It is very annoying. I’ll be in a group talking about something, and someone will correct me, and I’ll have to ask, “What did I say?” Because I thought I said the right thing when really it came out some weird, twisted aberration of what the right thing actually is.

When a blogger posted that her cinnamon rolls were impossible to mess up, I decided to take that challenge! Now, normally, I would never consider attempting something that involves living microorganisms. Just the thought of working with yeast leaves me feeling nervous and slightly queasy. But in order for rolls to rise, you’ve got to have yeast. So the very first thing I did was attempt to proof the yeast.

I made Cilantro-Lime Chicken Meatball Bowls with Sweet Corn Pico de Gallo and Cauli-Rice from Iowa Girl Eats for Handsome. Not only did he say it was good after the first/second bite, he also asked for the leftovers to use for his lunch the next day. This is the first time he has ever asked for leftovers from a meal I made.

Handsome decided to make lemon meringue pie yesterday. He often likes to make goodies throughout the week. His logic is dessert is allowed as long as we make it. Not one to argue with that logic, I wandered into the kitchen to see how it was going...

I decided to make Handsome one of his favorite desserts – lemon meringue pie. I’ve never made a pie before and, for my first time, this was definitely one to remember. As I searched for the best recipe, I quickly found that every top recipe listed for lemon meringue pie online called for a ready made crust…that should have been my first clue.