Simply Put

The day I figured out that it didn’t have to be me against the world was a day my entire advocacy journey changed. I always knew that I had friends, family, acquaintances, and a network of advocacy-focused alums at my back but it never occurred to me to ask an insurance company for help. Which is probably why I didn’t think about it until after they offered. What a time to be alive, right?

Being a member of or ally for marginalized communities requires you to be aware of your surroundings a bit differently.

Come and have coffee with me and let’s chat about the ins and outs of navigating social services. One of the ways I’ve kept busy during my time off is by being there for my friends. While I’ll never be the one who has a bunch of extra money, I’ll always be the one willing to bring some coffee and your favorite pastry and sit with you while we figure things out. In the last 7 months I’ve assisted with job searches for people who have been laid off, quit, graduated, and gone back to school; I’ve helped people apply for SNAP, TANF, WIC, and state insurance; I’ve assisted people in finding local resources for those struggling with homelessness, those who have left abusive situations and those in varied levels of divorce. All of those things are scary and part of makes them scary is not knowing how to do them so let’s sit here and figure it out together. Even if you never need any of the resources the likelihood you know someone who May is high so let’s drink our coffee and get some documents together.

As of early May 2023 this is the biggest advocacy win with my mom. While this is a retelling of what happened, at the end, it goes over the importance of knowing the ins and outs of patient history in order to push where you can. Often the most powerful way to advocate in these (most) scenarios is by simply being more informed on the subject than everyone else. The retelling shows how important it was in this situation but also the “real time” change in the way I was treated is something that is something to expect but also appalling. Take advantage of every situation you can get the upper hand in; knowledge is power.

Criticism? Totally fine. Invalidating other people’s difficult season because, in your eyes, your life is more difficult is a garbage take. Me being open about the difficult season I’m in while being pulled 750 different ways is not invalidating you struggling with work/life balance. It’s also not invalidating the difficulty of working out of the home. But let’s stop pretending that being a stay at home parent doesn’t encompass multiple jobs that most of us couldn’t afford to outsource. I cannot do my primary job (keeping my children safe) while answering every phone call I receive and being available for everyone else who needs me. No one else does that during the working hours and expecting stay at home parents to do that at all times is such a weird take. You’d get fired for answering your phone 15 times in an hour every day about non-work related things. Come on now.

What started out as a day full of errands became a day full of losses and disappointment pretty quickly. It took me no less than 7 takes to even get something that didn’t involve some sort of unexpected interruption but that’s life. Let’s talk about that and some more content changes over my long-empty coffee cup.

It’s been a long time. Here’s a bit of where I’ve been, some more intricate explanations as to why I took time away, and a bit of where this is going in the future.

I spend a lot of time encouraging people to ask questions but sometimes I’m not always the right person to answer. Here Liz and I sit down to answer one subscribers questions. This, as well as the previous episode, has been publish with the consent of the person involved as a way to make a teachable moment extend past them. Unedited, as (almost) always, because the feedback I’ve gotten has insisted y’all like it better.

I get knocked down and I get knocked down and I get up agaknocked down. I’m down for a small count. Probably. Maybe. Because I’m human

Disclaimer: it is my responsibility to make sure the places I go are safe for myself and my family however there are plenty of times where “allies” could have stepped in and prevented it from happening