Married or single, we all get lonely from time to time. But, the loneliness I felt immediately after my divorce was horrible. It was deeper and more persistent. The only thing that kept me sane was being plugged in – to my church, my family, and my friends.

Loneliness

First off I want to say that at least some amount of loneliness is inevitable and that some periods of loneliness are beneficial. I’m not saying that loneliness should be avoided at all cost.

I’m also not going to mislead you and tell you marriage is a cure-all for loneliness. Many married people are lonely and feel disconnected from their spouse. In fact, thinking marriage will be a magic bullet for loneliness is an unrealistic expectation that will set you up for disappointment.

Related article: 3 Things Marriage Can and Cannot Do For You

Also, being in a bad marriage can be lonely. The waning years of my marriage, the period where my wife started distancing herself from me was very lonely at times.

But, what I want to address this week is the go to bed alone, wake up alone, God I need a hug, persistent loneliness you feel as a single person.

The best way to deal with that loneliness is to make some connections. Get plugged in with people and groups.

Plugged In: To Your Church

Since I write from a Christian perspective, I’m going to assume that my writing about chastity, purity, and marriage has scared off most of the non-believers and that most of you reading this blog are Christians. So, I feel very comfortable telling you that one of the things I got right as a single was that I was connected to a great church.

Related article: Things I Got Right as a Single | Community, Generosity, and Diligence

The Body of Christ is a great thing to be a part of. There is brotherhood and sisterhood there. There is belonging. My church brothers and sisters played a huge role in my recovering from divorce and my thriving as a single. God designed us to be in relationship with each other, to be interconnected and take turns mentoring and encouraging and being mentored and encouraged.

And, if perchance you’re reading this and are not a Christian, consider this: being in right relationship with your Creator brings a powerful ally into play on your behalf. Plus, He’s a constant companion, so you’re never totally alone.

Plugged In: To a Civic Group

You could also get plugged into a civic group or a ministry team at your church. It’s hard to feel lonely when you are among people pulling toward a common goal. Working together brings with it a comradery that links people together. When you’re in the trenches working together you can’t help but start bonding together.

Plus, being part of a team doing something worthwhile is also good for your psyche. Besides the comradery, it brings with it a positive energy and a feeling of accomplishment.

Plugged In: To a Group That Shares Your Interest

Another way to beat loneliness is to plug into a group of people who share your interests. Whatever you are interested in, you can probably find a local or online group that you can connect with.

The woman I am now married to joined a bicycling group ...