Once upon a time there was a little crab with big dreams. That crab dug her claw through some of the grossest internet this side of the atrocity river (she did not dare cross that river, into the land of the darkweb, for perhaps she would never return…) Upon the completion of her quest, the little crab with big dreams made a document, cataloging her findings and offered them to be read by a group of strangers online.

Much time has passed, and though the fated date was lost to the Blinx the sand cat of time, the document lived on. Now, the crab has collected a group of “friends” to reread the ominous script, rehashing the hellscape of frilly pink dresses that is Sissykiss.

This week, Extra Credit needs bigger plastic pants.