Six Steps in Combating Fear

If God commands us against fear, then we need to fight against fear anywhere we find it. Here are six steps for how to go about waging this war on fear.

Show Notes:

The last few weeks, we've been talking about fear. In this episode, I want to give you my six steps for dealing with fear. The first step is you have to realize you're afraid. This may seem obvious, but sometimes the things we're afraid of hide behind excuses, and we don't even know that's what's going on. One of the things fear hides behind is avoidance. You might be afraid of injuring someone while driving. Instead of getting to the bottom of why you avoid driving in the city or why you haven't gotten your license yet, you just pretend it's not a big deal and keep avoiding.

Another thing fear hides behind is saying, "I just don't like _______" For example, I am terrified of being injured by falling, and I used to say, "I don't like heights." If you are afraid of being stung by bees or attacked by a bear, you might say, "I just don't like camping." This is a common way for fears to hide. It makes it so that we don't have to admit what we're afraid of, and it gives us an excuse to avoid situations that might make us face our fear. Listen to yourself when you're with other people. What excuses do you give for not doing things? What can they tell you about what you're really afraid of?

Another indicator light for our fears is worry and anxiety. If I have an un-dealt-with fear of driving off a bridge, I will think about possible scenarios in which I might drive off a bridge, even when I am nowhere near one. When I get in the car knowing I'll have to drive over a bridge, the anxiety increases. What if my brakes or power steering gives out? What if there's a giant earthquake that breaks the bridge while I'm on it? What if someone else falls asleep at the wheel and crashes into me? When I actually have to drive over a bridge, my heart races, my knuckles are white around the steering wheel, and my stomach feels like I ate a bad burrito.

Another signal for fear is holding too tightly to something or being overly cautious. There are a couple boys I babysit sometimes that demonstrate this well. The older boy is 3, and the younger one is not quite 1. The older boy is scared his little brother is going to break his things. He has two main strategies for preventing this: keep the toys out of reach and physically injure his little brother when he gets too close. Is the one-year-old capable of breaking most of the toys? No. But even the slight possibility that he might is enough to send the older boy into panic mode. He's holding too tightly.

The second step in combating fear is admit your fear. Like I mentioned last week, this is so important to do, but it is also the most mentally challenging, I think. It doesn't take any special skills or internal probing, but it is a fight. Satan receives high benefits when we fear, because it keeps us from doing what God asks of us. He will stop at nothing to keep us from admitting our fears and beginning to live fearlessly. That combat takes place in the self-talk that goes on inside our heads. This is a battleground for spiritual warfare. The lies that will come at you might include:

"This fear isn't big enough to matter." It is. Any fear ultimately means a lack of trust in God.

"Admitting your fear will do nothing. It's not worth it." It is, and it does. It opens the door for truth, the biggest enemy of fear.

"People will think less of you if they knew." Those who love God and love you will not condemn you or think less of you for working toward freedom from fear. It will be quite the opposite, actually. People will rally around you to help.

"It's more effort than it's worth." Though the journey may be long, the joy and freedom are worth it.

There may be other tactics the enemy uses to keep you from admitting your fear, but you must not let him win. Fight back with the truth.

The first person to whom you should admit your fear is God. Yes, He already knows about it. He's also already paid for the sin of disbelief that's causing it. Like any good Father, He wants to hear your doubts and fears. If we come to Him in humility, telling Him what scares us and asking for His help, He will gladly give it. I have prayed so often a prayer like this, "God, I am scared of (fill in the blank), and I know I'm not fully trusting You. I want to trust You more; please help me."

The second person to whom you should admit your fear is a close Christian friend or mentor. Admitting your fear to another person breaks its power. It also gives you an ally to help you through the rest of the process.

Step three is a process I call funneling. The fears we have are like funnels. The top is what you are initially reacting to, and the bottom is what you are really afraid of. The top could be anything from heights, to dogs, to going on a date, to making a telephone call. At the bottom, there are those three basic fears we talked about last week: loss of control, emotional distress, and physical pain. Every fear can be funneled down to one or more of these three, and we want to do that. The advantage of funneling down our fear is that it helps us understand where the fear is coming from. When we do that, it is easier to identify the lies that are causing them and the truths that combat them. The first step in funneling fear is to be honest about what it is we are afraid of. For example, it is not enough to say, "I am afraid of driving." We have to figure out why. Are you afraid to die in a crash? Are you afraid of driving off a cliff or bridge?

Let's say we are afraid of getting in an accident but not dying. What is the next step down the funnel? Now we ask which of the three basic fears are involved. Is it the emotional trauma of wrecking a car that you fear? Is it the physical pain and long recovery time of a potential injury? Is it the loss of control from a paralyzing wound? The answer might be one or all of the above, but it is helpful to figure out which is primary.

If the thing that scares us the most about driving is the possibility of becoming a quadriplegic, then we know this is really a control issue. Now we must ask ourselves what else might be connected to this fear. Do we have other control problems? Do we struggle with letting people do things for us? Do we find ourselves worrying about the future on a regular basis? Even though it scares us to drive, is it worse to let someone else drive? Do we have trouble doing things like zip lines or other activities where we are required to place our safety in the hands of other people or equipment? Once you make these connections, you are ready to move onto step four: identifying the lies

Every fear has a foundation of lies holding it up. The cornerstone is the lie about God's character, but it can be difficult to identify this lie just by looking at the top of the fear funnel. Once we have dug down and figured out the basic fears, however, it becomes easier. If the root of fear is a lack of trust in God, and there are three basic fears, then there must be three basic lies about God that we regularly believe. Here they are:

God does not care about me.

God is not capable of protecting/providing for me.

God is not in control of all things.

Much like the three basic fears, these lies about God can be intertwined in every fear we have. If we take our fear of becoming a quadriplegic, we can see better how that works. We have figured out that we are afraid of driving, getting in an accident, and losing the loss of our limbs for the rest of our lives. We know that this is because we hate losing control, and the thought of living a life where we have to be fed and taken care of by others is terrifying. What lies are we believing? First, we see this prospect as a series of terrible events with no possible good outcomes. This is limiting God's power and control. If God is sovereign, then He is able to turn the things that we see as bad to good. Second, we might be believing that God does not love us, otherwise He would not let people (and possibly us) get into car crashes and be seriously injured. This is taking what we see of the world and placing it above what the Bible says about God, which never leads to anything good.

Once you know what lies you are believing, finding the truth that counters them is step five. You may even realize the truth before the lie. If you're believing that God is not sovereign, the truth is that He is. He holds everything in His hands and has planned all your days with your good and joy in mind. Next week we're going to look at some basic truths of God's character so that we are better equipped to know what truths about God are relevant to the lies we've been believing.

The final step in combating fear is to take the truths you've found that counter the lies that are the cornerstone to your fears and preach them to yourself daily. If lies weren't so sneaky, coming this far would be the end of the fear. However, God has created us to be forgetful people. I think it's to keep us humble. The more we realize how weak and prone to fear we are, the more we lean on God and His help. To counter those sneaky lies, we have to be consistent and intentional with the truth. Wake up and preach it to yourself. Instead of scrolling through your phone, think about it when you're standing in line or waiting for something.