Miles subjects his son to urination ridicule, while Bob witnesses the forces of good and evil over lunchtime.

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Oh, man. you and me and me and you and me and them and me and him and them Hey, everybody. Hey, everyone. This is miles title on static Radio. You need to do a really good job of not actually getting any tune whatsoever when you did that. It’s like, you can’t, It’s a true story if you have any idea who Jackie Gleason was. He did. He actually was a best-selling recording artist and knew nothing of music. Yeah, so what? Like the Honeymooners theme song, he made up. He goes like this. Then they made it better, obviously. Okay. All your trivia needs right here. And if you need more worthless trivia, welcome to Static Radio. You want to know about people who’ve long been since dead. Listen to Static. Oh, God, no. Not again. Not again. I couldn’t help it. Oh, my God. I mean, I just envision that you
hear that constantly throughout your day. Miles, where are you, Miles? We need you to come here and fix the toilet. Right? And then what happens in your head another glorious day be miles title. If you’re listening now, just turn it off and go to something better. Don’t, yeah. You can listen to that thing i was telling you about where the seance people The ladies got naked in that. I’m not going to listen to your weirdo fantasies. The spirit back in the spirit, spiritualist days where they, uh, you know, yeah okay yeah the spirits made me do it. Yeah, that’s what you would say off the air. Bob had some fantasy about spiritualism. And all kinds of crazy stuff. I don’t, that sounds weird yeah sounds like what happens is Miles sees all that, but he doesn’t get to participate. Oh, God. Okay, that’s three times. Okay.
That’s enough. I’m done. I’m done. Are you done? Come on. It’s three times now. Please just stop. Now I’ll just do it myself. Okay. I can live with that. Oh, you can live with that. Okay. Yeah. So yeah. No, I mean, this all weird stuff you hear on the internet. Come on. Got to give it up. Meanwhile, love that weird stuff on the internet. hey, have you guys heard any weird stuff on the internet? You know, if they made one of those K-Tel records of, you know, just the weird stuff you hear on the internet, that would be a good commercial. Hey, Kate was back. Internet hits only from Kate’s hell. Five minute fart. I thought that was static radio. Oh, there we go. Yeah. I wonder if you get, I wonder if people do that. Do you remember whenever, I remember when I was young, you may not remember this because you don’t ever remember anything. Um,
they used to at the grocery store, they would sell old radio, uh, on CDs. You remember this or cassettes? It’d be like, uh, yeah, I used to have Molly and you know, all these things I used to, I don’t want to brag, but, uh, I think my mom bought this for me. How to be a comedian by Henny Youngman. Really? Yeah. I had that by Henny Youngman. Seriously. Yeah. My mom, I think, bought this for me, how to be a comedian. She was a nice mom, wasn’t she? She was. No, she still is. She’s nice. How did it help you in your journey here? He said something like it’s okay to steal other people’s material and stuff if you don’t really have material. It’s always going to suck when you hit a young one. That’s the one…
That was the one nugget I took out of that. Like, okay, it’s okay to steal. The only thing I took out of the Henny Youngman playbook. Yeah. If Milton Berle said it, it could be yours. Yeah. Yeah, that’s great. Yeah, no, we had a couple of those. Yeah, I know what you’re talking about, Mr. Elitist. Nowadays, I wonder if it would go over if you just rip things from the internet, make a DVD compilation, and sell it at the checkout. You know, I don’t think that would play very well. You don’t think so? No. All these failed videos, just put them onto a DVD and sell it for five bucks at the grocery store. I don’t think so. Groans and boners. I bought that and I didn’t know what it was. I thought that was something else. I swear to God. I thought it was more of a groaner than a boner. I swear. I thought it said girls and boners. Oh, yeah. By the way, didn’t you have some DVDs that were kind of like that?
No. Like something gone wild? I might actually have those VHS tapes somewhere. Oh, they’re VHS. They weren’t DVDs. Okay. That’s how old I am. Yeah, those are VHS. Yeah, those are VHS Girls Gone Wild tapes. Yeah, so what? Yeah, so what? I was young. When you were young and your heart was open wide. There wasn’t an internet around for me. I had to get the girls gone wild video tapes. Pretty much. Pretty much. Yeah. They serve their purpose. They serve their purpose. I’ll be honest with you. They still do. I can’t watch those a long time. Oh, really? About what? Five minutes. Yeah. No, I don’t know if I have those anymore. Oh yeah. Yeah. I’m sure you do. Because they were blue. You, my friend, when you and I were going to college, you were literally a museum curator of your own shit. I have Asperger’s, you jerk. You would have all your albums lined up. You’d have all these little trinkets and tchotchkes. Everything was in perfect order and you know
You were like, don’t touch that. Oh, I’m like, don’t touch that. Okay, you are the king of, oh, don’t touch that. Believe me. Well, it’s true, but at least I’m not. If I went to your house right now and started just, you know, giving your blessing, everything in your house, you would have a complete shit fit. You’d be like, don’t. Miles, don’t touch our silverware, please. Don’t. Just hook them to your forearms with rubber bands. Don’t use your fingers. Yeah. Um, that is true, but you had like everything totally curated and like, in like, you had like lists on like legal pads of everything you owned. And it was like, I was always impressed that you, you know, knowing you and seeing this, it was, it was like incongruous. I was autistic before it was popular, I guess. So, yeah. Well, and the fact that you couldn’t like keep it together.
but you could do all this. I mean, I didn’t say it was perfect. Okay. I didn’t say, yeah, I was like, you accomplished all of this organization of stupid ass shit. And you’re right. You cannot show up anywhere on time or keep track of your own pens and paper. Yeah. Right. Correct. Yes, exactly. I was always, that was miraculous to me. I was like, wow, crazy. So, uh, I’m with the stories here. I have a story this week. I was at a… Oh, I didn’t think you had a story. I thought he’s rambling on a lot here. No, no, I just riffed on some other stuff just because it came up. Oh, no, you were going on like 20 minutes of this riffing. I’m like, okay, he has no story this week. I’m like, okay, well, that’s all right. So I was at a Panera recently, and there was outdoor seating. A lot of Paneras, I think, have outdoor seating.
This guy likes to eat out a lot. Yeah, so I was heading into the Panera and I noticed there was two gentlemen sitting outside having their lunch. Dr. J and Dr. No, it wasn’t anybody I know. Nobody else. But they totally looked like they did not belong together. It was like… a younger guy who, you know, looked like he was healthy and what was it ray milan and uh rosie greer rosie greer almost yeah i would go okay in that vein. But yeah, so this young, healthy guy, he was eating like a salad or something. And then there’s this disheveled, homeless looking guy eating with him. Oh, I know where this is going. Okay. It’s me and Miles. Look at I’m the sally guy and
Miles is the other repulsive guy. I wasn’t even going to go there. Yeah. So I go in to eat, you know, get my food and sit down and eat. And they’re out the window and I’m watching them. And I come to the realization that this was an angel and a devil having lunch together. You’re fucked up. Yeah. Dude, this dude is on some whippets or something. I don’t know what the hell he’s getting on, man. I looked at him, and I’m like, and the way they were talking and so forth, and the one guy looked angelic, and the other guy looked like a devil, and they’re sitting there having, like, on their lunch hour. It was like, it was so obvious that it was an angel and a devil eating lunch together at Panera. Are you watching that show again, that Sam and Dean show? I don’t know what that is. What is that show?
Are you watching Supernatural again? No, no, I don’t watch Supernatural. And yeah, and so I’m like, this is weird. And I formulated this whole kind of thing in my head that this is what was going on. And then they get up and leave and go their separate ways. And then I finish my lunch and I’m leaving to go and I’m getting in my car and going out. And the angel guy went to the corner and was preaching and holding a sign about being saved. And the devil guy just disappeared. Did he pick up a fiddle by chance and start playing it hot? I just thought it was so hilarious that literally these guys were eating lunch. They looked like an angel, a devil. I go to leave and the angel guy is at the entrance to this area with all the restaurants and whatever, shopping plaza. Yeah.
And he is preaching and trying to get people saved. Are you listening to Charlie Daniels quite a bit recently? Yeah, that’s right. I told you once you saw a bitch. I wish I would have saw the devil guy doing something evil, but I didn’t. He’s probably crapping on a flower pot somewhere. But he looks so… He looked like such a devilish person. I thought, wouldn’t that be something? You know what I mean? Then after that happened, I’m like, oh my God, it was real. But what if the roles were actually reversed? Could be. So did you go up and say, hey, listen, I know this is going to sound a little strange, fellas, but hear me out. Yeah. No, I don’t interact with people in public. Come on.
Well, that’s true. Yeah. That’s true. You do not like people touching your stuff and you do not like to interact. Yes. In person with people. Like over the internet, you’re okay with, but yes, physical contact possible. You will not allow. No, no, no way. Yeah. Yeah. But, uh, it was, I, that was like one of those things where I’m like, I can’t believe I thought this and then look, here we are. You know, we both could be on the spectrum if you think about it. Yes, I realize I’ve heard this more than once from other people. Yeah, because I don’t really enjoy hugging. You basically hate people. You say that, but I can tell you right now that in a situation, in certain situations, you will leap into a hug that I would never hug, ever. What? Okay, what situation is this that I would leap into a hug? Large bosomy woman comes over and says, hey…
Miles, Bubby, come here. Give me a hug. I haven’t seen you in a while. Hey, Bubby, give me a hug. My Jewish grandmother? I watched you cuddle Lisa Dieselhorst in college. No. No, that is not true. Okay. He jumped in my lap and hugged me. Yes. She would have never made it into my lap. Hashtag me too. No, I didn’t know she was going to do that. Some girl, I was sitting outside, some girl in college, I barely knew, jumps on my lap, gives me a hug for no reason. Like she’s lost a bet or something. She’s like, oh. More true than you think. Like junior samples or something. No, back then you were wearing your Cavariccis. You were a thin man. Yeah, I was thinner. I was thin-ish, but I wasn’t thin.
Well, I was sitting across the way and I can tell you there was such a wrinkle in your eye that you were so happy that this was happening. It was like my whole love life. It happened so fast. I really didn’t know what it was until it was over, you know, pretty much. Yeah. And I recall she stayed there for a little bit. Not long enough. Not long enough. Why did she do that for? I mean. Yeah. I can see where, you know, scenarios where you would venture that I will not venture. I, you know, I can count on one hand how many times something like that without me having to pay for it, that that has happened. Yeah. Yeah. I will see that again. You would pay for it. Yeah. Yeah. I paid for something like that. Yes. Yeah. I never would do. Of course I would never do. You pay for, you know, yeah. Baked goods.
Well, whatever. But anyway, yes. To answer your question. Yes, that’s true. Yeah. Oh, so angels and devils. That’s interesting. Yeah. I thought, you know, I’m being kooky, but that’s what I got the vibe. I walked past their table. I got that vibe. I kind of watched him from the window. I got that vibe. I picture you in your Mazda Miata with your sunglasses on listening to Cars by Gary Neumann. I’m watching the devil and Lucifer in Cars. They were at a patio table, but yeah. Whatever. Close enough. Close enough. Well, maybe you might be right. I think I was. And that kind of freaked me out whenever i saw when i was leaving. I’m like, oh my gosh i’m like i was right and that’s what i’m telling kids. Trust your instincts. I just saw crowley trust your instincts. Trust your instincts about angels and devils i guess right and having panera yeah i don’t know.
if one of them bought the other one’s lunch, I have no idea on that, but, uh, I think that people, if they see you and I out for lunch, they probably think the same thing. You think? Yeah. Well, who would be the angel then? I don’t know. They’re probably think I was out to out to lunch at some ugly broad. I think it’s probably what they would think. Oh, no, it’s two dudes. It’s that’s a dude. Wait a minute. I don’t know what he is. I don’t know what. Transitioning? Transformer? I don’t know. So what’s going on with you? I’m apparently connected with the spirit realm or something. Well, you know, you always got to sneak in one more vacation story here. Oh my gosh. This guy, he’s never left the house in 10 years and now he’s like Mr.
I finally get to go on a real vacation. So yes, I’m going to blow my load on every story I can milk out of this thing. And, uh, normally you just go see relatives. I, well, once again, I do leech off the relatives quite a bit. Yes. You’re like, where can I go that I will not have to pay for a room. Do I have any cousins over there? I need a son. I need some help making a, Google map of all of our relatives and what they’re close to that I want to go to? Oh, that would be a good app. Yeah. Do we have anybody near Kings Island? Kings Island. I’ve been really wanting to go there. Six Flags of America. I know someone. Where are those at? Didn’t I go to college with the guy? Yeah. Isn’t Packingham, doesn’t he live down in Tampa Bay or something? Oh, if I knew where that guy lived, I went to school with this weirdo named Packingham. I would go visit this kid immediately, yes. He’s a weirdo.
So what’s going on with you besides Moochie? So we’re cruising in on Interstate 55 and by the state line of Mississippi and Louisiana, on the Mississippi side, there’s a sign that says crash site of the Leonard Skinner. Oh, really? Wow. And so, you know, we’re all like, hey, on the way back, we make this pack right now that we’re stopping. Your father’s got to see this crash site. He’s been to another one. He has to cross this one off his list. Yep. Yep. I’m going to go to Madison, Wisconsin and go steal his weddings next. Yeah. Okay. Did you make a little video for us? Um, no, no, I’m getting to that. I’m getting to that. Okay. And, uh, so on the way back, you know, like four or five days later, uh, we’re heading that way and,
my wife’s driving and, uh, I go, okay. Yeah. I see it coming up and, but it looks like it’s off the highway a little bit, you know? Yeah, probably. And it’s probably, I don’t know, as a guest being like 20 minutes off the highway or something. So it’s not, it’s not far, but you know, it’s far enough, you know, it’s kind of, you’re out in the middle of nowhere and he’s literally out in nowhere. And, um, so we, we finally make it there and, uh, just, It’s not the crash it’s close to it, but it’s not the actual site of course. Right. Yeah. Okay. And, uh, so they’ve kind of, you know, made a spot and they, I mean, it’s very nice. They put up some big, you know, monuments up there and stuff like that. They were pretty cool. And, um, pretty neat, pretty neat. And, uh, my wife was excited cause like her best friend, Desiree is like a huge, huge fan.
Really? Like, oh my, oh, she’s probably seen them in concert probably used to half a dozen times before the crash. Uh, not before the crowd, unfortunately not before the crash in 70 something, but no, I mean the child, the resurrected, uh, scared. And, uh, so about half the people in our car wanted to see it and half didn’t. I said, okay, that’s fair. I don’t care. You know, it’s no big deal. And, uh, so we go to see it and we’re taking pictures of course. And right in the middle of it, my son who had got out of the car, he’s like, man, I gotta go to the bathroom. Well, there’s no, there’s no question. He’s related. I’m like, well, like what? One or two or it was, Oh no, no. I just got to take a leak. I’m like, Oh, okay. All right. He goes, no three.
Yeah. And, um, every orifice is going to be leaking. So he’s like, well, listen, I’m going to walk down the road a little bit. If I leave here tomorrow. Yeah. So just so we’re clear, so we don’t get hate mail about why did your son piss on, you know, Robbie van’s ants, you know, whatever. No, he did. He walked, he did walk a distance to do this and, uh, which is fine. They didn’t have a port-a-potty or anything? No, there are no bathroom facilities at this. I’m surprised they didn’t have a port-a-potty. It looks like it’s been ripped out of an airplane. Oh, wow. Wow. Holy cow. Yikes. You know what they did have, though? They almost had a tent and some folding chairs just sitting there for some reason. I thought, that’s kind of weird. Maybe that was the bathroom. I don’t know. So he takes off.
And we’re taking pictures. And my wife, you know, I never listened to my wife, as you know. And she said something. I didn’t really pay attention to it. And I thought she was just taking pictures. You know, I’m like, okay. And my son was gone a while. You know, I’m like, Jesus, how far did that son of a bitch walk? You know? So I start yelling out like, hey, who’s that kid who’s rocking a piss? Where is he? You know? That’s a good thing to do. Of course, he’s ignoring me like, hey, kid, quit rocking a piss. About the fourth time, I finally get this evil look from my wife. I go, what’s wrong? She goes, I’m filming this for my best friend so she can see this. Basically, the whole video, you’ve been yelling, who’s got to rock a piss?
Oh, it’s lovely. Now I’ve got to refilm it all because of you, you stupid jerk. You loud fucking mouth. You dumbass jerk. You stupid jerk. I just thought it was funny. He had a rock of piss. I guess there’s nobody else around, so you’re just like… No, I mean, there was zero people around here. Zero, zero, zero. No houses. No one was driving by. I mean, it’s out in the middle of nowhere, you know, it’s, you know, over the snow drift. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Something like that. Yes. It was, it was not quite as remote as the buddy Holly, uh, crash site that I’ve also visited, but, uh, um, so it is a beautiful Memorial. If you have a chance to go there, it’s right off of interstate 55. Okay. I don’t remember the being the sign. I drove that way.
I went to New Orleans several years ago. So, yeah. So there are no toilet facilities. Yeah. I’m just going to rock a piss. Stay kid. Who says that? Who yells at somebody who’s trying to take a leak in the wild? I don’t know. I don’t know why I was yelling it before. I just was yelling it. what gets into your head? I like to embarrass people. You know, I just thought, you know, my son doesn’t really take yourself. He’s probably like, what an ass. I know. I mean, my son really does not like to be embarrassed at all. You know, he just really, yeah. Shut up. I wonder why. I wonder why you feel embarrassed. What? There was no one there. I mean, no one was hurt, but then I’m fine. You don’t want to have people yelling at you while you’re urinating.
Well, what I was afraid of, though, I go, what if there’s cameras up here watching us? Well, there could be because you and I went to that graveyard. There was a camera. Remember? Yeah, I know. Because then I got all weirded out. Like, maybe they’re hearing me yell, hey, rock a piss, you know? Yeah. They’re like, hey, I can’t find rock a piss in the Lynyrd Skynyrd songbook. What is he? This crazy guy keeps yelling rock a piss. That’s not. skinner tuesday rocked a piss. In the wind. In the wind. Yeah, exactly. If I piss here tomorrow. Did she, uh, finally get the did she send you to the car and make you shut up so that you could get a footage or what? No, I was very quiet. I was quiet as a mouse on her second attempt to film this. And, uh,
i feel bad. I ruined the video for desiree but uh yeah i think she’ll be fine. Yeah. So there you go. Not like, you know, it’s super important, right? Right. Hey, who’s walking the piss out here?