Uhh something about Diadem being a fancy word. 

After defeating you-know-who, Harry goes bald, Hermione gets a mortgage, and Ron has a mid-life crisis. 

Harry accidentally kills U2 instead of you-know-who. Their names sound a little similar I guess (;¬_ლ).

The King, Neville Longbottom, get's really cross that he loses track of Trevor again

Harry and the gang go to some forest they've already been to for some reason ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Ron meets Prince Harry and they converse for hours about having red hair 

Harry finds a sugar daddy to fund his fight against the dark lord. 

Harry pulls out a Glock in this chapter and pops a cap in you-know-who's ass.

Unfortunately for Snape, eating from you-know-who's clearly labeled Tupperware is punishable by a pink slip.

I did not know for the life of me what a Diadem was. After a quick google search, I found out it is a jewelled crown or headband worn as a symbol of sovereignty.